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windscar15
Velociraptor
Joined: Feb 17, 2008
Age: 19
Posts: 431
Location: San Jose, California
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 Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 2:23 pm Post subject: Bad situation with a friend, good situation with mom |
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| I resolved most of my issues with my mom when she came to visit for my graduation. I'm now closer to her than ever. But I find myself at odds with my friend. I've known him for years and when he went to Spain, I kept in touch, it all went smoothly until his girlfriend broke up with him. He nearly comitted suicide and was sent home, I tried to help but he needed to work it out himself and it seems like he did. He got a new girlfriend recently and it's a lot more sexual than his last relationship. He still misses his ex a lot because he felt more of a connection but now he seems to think there's a connection between the new girl. He feels he has to tell me about the sex and nothing else. He belittles my difficulties and ignores the fact that I'm not in a relationship. I said he has a shallow relationship if all he thinks about is the sex. He went ballistic and said I had no right to say that. He then said that the sex is only one part and that they share other moments that are more private, but sex I guess is not very private to him. He told me that male friends talk about sex all the time and that I shouldn't feel insecure about it. I'n not insecure, its just that he's pissing me off with this, it feels like he thinks he's always right and I'm always wrong. |
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Emoal6
Deinonychus
Joined: May 16, 2006
Age: 23
Posts: 303
Location: phoenix AZ
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| Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 2:37 pm Post subject: |
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Your friend is most likely nt and in thier world, sex is a frequent topic. Its what they use to show a level of equality. If you're not talking about it, you're not having it. You're not having it and they have to wonder why, its so "easy" for them. Its a fun activity they feel everyone should be "addicted" to. Girls talk to thier friends about sex too. Its just another way to have more in common.
You're distancing yourself because you didnt understand this concept, and are taking it as him being rude, instead of you acting different than most. True, nt's should be more aware and understanding of our differences, but in turn we must do the same. Most of his other friends talk about it with him, he sees you as not wanting to be there on that level for him. |
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windscar15
Velociraptor
Joined: Feb 17, 2008
Age: 19
Posts: 431
Location: San Jose, California
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| Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 3:01 pm Post subject: |
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| Its not like he's an NT, he has OCD and a lot of other social issues. I'm actually the only guy he hangs out with. He has other friends but he doesn't really hang out with them that much. The only other person is his girlfriend. |
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