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flowergal
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Jun 13, 2008
Age: 37
Posts: 58
Location: Peaceful Countryside, USA
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 Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 10:10 am Post subject: Do AS kids do this? |
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Okay, I talked to my son's therapist yesterday about my 9 year old dtr and how I think she is more AS than my son. We talked and she agreed I should have her eval'd. Now, one thing I was wondering for those of you with Aspies...are they very loving and compassionate towards you or another close family member only? What I mean is, my dtr will make me breakfast in bed if she knows I had a bad night with my son, or she makes me cards when I am sick, she hugs me when I am mad or sad.....but only with me or her dad. Wouldn't this be the empathy that I've been told kids with AS lack? She also loves our animals (1 dog, 2 cats and 18 chickens) they are like her best friends and she wants to be vet or animal rescue worker when she grows up. Are we recipients of this just because it is her daddy and I? I was just curious, we are new to this and so I have been questioning lots of things. I appreciate any info. 
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Stevopedia
Velociraptor
Joined: Nov 03, 2007
Age: 17
Posts: 401
Location: Nowhere Land, Maryland, United States
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| Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 10:24 am Post subject: |
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Of course we Aspies can be affectionate! It's just that some of us express it in ways that most people wouldn't expect to be affection. I know I used to.
Unfortunately I can't help much more than that; my case is now a rather mild one (it used to me more severe when I was a child--particularly in elementary school and earlier) and I can now pass off as merely somewhat eccentric to most people....
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mysterious_misfit
Deinonychus
Joined: Apr 25, 2008
Age: 26
Posts: 321
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| Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 10:55 am Post subject: |
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| Yes, AS children seem to have normal to normal-ish relationships with their immediate family. It's a matter of comfort. I'm more comfortable with the people I see every day, and less comfortable with 'outsiders'. And now, I'm bonded with my children and can usually tell what they are feeling, but still have a hard time making new friends. |
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t0
Deinonychus
Joined: Mar 24, 2008
Posts: 341
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| Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 11:23 am Post subject: Re: Do AS kids do this? |
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| flowergal wrote: | | She also loves our animals (1 dog, 2 cats and 18 chickens) they are like her best friends and she wants to be vet or animal rescue worker when she grows up. |
I think this is fairly common. Aspies tend to understand the simple emotions of a dog or cat. |
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Roseduelist
Snowy Owl
Joined: Jul 09, 2007
Age: 20
Posts: 146
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| Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 11:49 am Post subject: |
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| Aspies are sensitive in the main 5 senses, but they are also mostly empaths...If a person is sad they pick up on it and get sad too...It is the same way with anger,happiness,and fear |
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Nan
Phoenix
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Joined: Mar 02, 2006
Posts: 2997
Location: left coast
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| Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 12:20 pm Post subject: |
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never believe that Aspies have no empathy as a blanket rule. some of us might really surprise you someday, if you do.
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Novinson's Revolutionary Discovery: When comes the revolution, things will be different - not better, just different. |
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kit000003
Deinonychus
Joined: Feb 04, 2008
Age: 23
Posts: 395
Location: Pensacola, FL
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| Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 12:55 pm Post subject: |
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I think the general rule of "no empathy" isn't specific enough....
because around people who we care for we can show a considerable amount of empathy....
when someone we love is crying it can make us cry too, even if we don't know why.
what we lack, mostly, is empathy for total strangers.
I in particular, see no reason why I should be upset that a non-friend neighbor's dog died (never happened but if it did, I wouldn't be upset, except for the fact that there was one less animal in the world) I know that I am supposed to feign sympathy, or people will see me as uncaring that the neighbor is in pain, or think I didn't like the dog or that I am glad they died, but I honestly just don't care the person hurts.
Now if my mother's dog died, I would be extremely upset, even though I've never met him. Because my mother would be upset. and she would get to crying on the phone and I'd have to stop talking to her and have to call my boyfriend to get him to calm me down. |
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traveller011212
Deinonychus
Joined: May 27, 2008
Age: 28
Posts: 361
Location: Right here!!
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| Posted: Sun Jun 22, 2008 1:19 am Post subject: Re: Do AS kids do this? |
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| flowergal wrote: | | Wouldn't this be the empathy that I've been told kids with AS lack? |
As someone with AS who has done extensive research in the literature about AS I must say that the lack of empathy is complete crap. 2005 is when more accurate results were beginning to be published.
I for one feel empathy for all people so strongly that it hurts to express except to those whom I know will accept my affections. Also, my wife worked with several children on the spectrum and they actually turned out the have some of the greatest affection for their classmates in the classroom, once they became more socially comfortable. |
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Gifted-Monster
Sea Gull
Joined: Jun 13, 2008
Age: 19
Posts: 208
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| Posted: Sun Jun 22, 2008 4:35 am Post subject: |
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Aye.
And though it may seem impossible, it is our logical nature that allows us to empathise.
We can see why someone is sad, happy, etc. How it affects them, how badly it hurts them, etc.
A lot of the time we are disliked because we see too clearly. We aren't blinded by social propriety at all and as such, we can see to the core without worrying about social niceties.
Well, that's how I am.
Many aspies that go to a public school system develop "masks" to hide themselves and this can be why people say aspies lack empathy, because we don't show that we know how they feel.
*Shrugs*
Regards
Ashley
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annie2
Toucan
Joined: Sep 18, 2007
Posts: 284
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| Posted: Sun Jun 22, 2008 5:31 am Post subject: |
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| I find that my AS son is actually more sensitive and caring towards me when I am upset, than my NT kids. |
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Pandora
Cat Lady
Joined: Jun 18, 2005
Age: 47
Posts: 4684
Location: Townsville
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| Posted: Sun Jun 22, 2008 9:22 am Post subject: |
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| Gifted-Monster wrote: | Aye.
And though it may seem impossible, it is our logical nature that allows us to empathise.
We can see why someone is sad, happy, etc. How it affects them, how badly it hurts them, etc.
A lot of the time we are disliked because we see too clearly. We aren't blinded by social propriety at all and as such, we can see to the core without worrying about social niceties.
Well, that's how I am.
Many aspies that go to a public school system develop "masks" to hide themselves and this can be why people say aspies lack empathy, because we don't show that we know how they feel.
*Shrugs*
Regards
Ashley |
I care about people and animals but can't always show it because the feelings are too overwhelming. But I won't pretend to care about somebody just because I'm expected to - it has to come from the heart.
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Someday soon you're gonna rule the world.
Break out you Western girls,
Hold your heads up high.
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kit000003
Deinonychus
Joined: Feb 04, 2008
Age: 23
Posts: 395
Location: Pensacola, FL
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| Posted: Sun Jun 22, 2008 9:37 pm Post subject: |
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| Pandora wrote: | | I care about people and animals but can't always show it because the feelings are too overwhelming. But I won't pretend to care about somebody just because I'm expected to - it has to come from the heart. |
That's it exactly. We have empathy, most of us just won't pretend to have it when we don't actually feel for someone. Where I think most NT's will. |
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Gifted-Monster
Sea Gull
Joined: Jun 13, 2008
Age: 19
Posts: 208
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| Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 4:30 am Post subject: |
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We're...honest in our emptahy. We empathise with those who deserve it but not others.
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"We will not capitulate - no, never! We may be destroyed, but if we are, we shall drag a world with us - a world in flames."
- Adolf Hitler |
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2ukenkerl
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 20, 2007
Posts: 4358
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| Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 6:35 am Post subject: |
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| Gifted-Monster wrote: | | We're...honest in our emptahy. We empathise with those who deserve it but not others. |
QFT! |
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natesmom
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: May 16, 2008
Posts: 199
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| Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 3:37 pm Post subject: |
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| 2ukenkerl wrote: | | Gifted-Monster wrote: | | We're...honest in our emptahy. We empathise with those who deserve it but not others. |
QFT! |
what does that mean?? I have a guess, will pm you |
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