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paolo
Phoenix
Joined: Aug 13, 2006
Posts: 1095
Location: Italy
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 Posted: Sat Jul 05, 2008 3:27 pm Post subject: Missing dialog |
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The need for friendship is desperate for me, as for everybody here, even if I know that friendship is denied to me. Even here the dialog is between people who have both their legs and can run a marathon and people who, like me, and many others here, don't have legs, and for whom running is impossible. There are of course mixed situations, people with one artificial leg who have troubles running, but can move somehow. I have written a kind of memoir about my life (and even published it). No one of the people who read it did really understand a thing of what I wanted to explain. My fault?
I am not sure. It's something like having to translate some totally idiosyncratic experience. Perhaps even writing here is surrendering to rules (rule of the language in anything) which are not ours.
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Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better.
--Samuel Beckett |
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Transcendence
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Nov 08, 2007
Posts: 48
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| Posted: Sat Jul 05, 2008 5:01 pm Post subject: |
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How did you know for sure these people did not understand your writing? I read most of your posts and have the feeling I understand you most of the time ... but I could be wrong.
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Can't you see, there's no place like Planet Home/ I wanna go now/ If only we can make it right/ Planet Home/ I've got to go now -Jamiroquai |
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lelia
Pika
Joined: Apr 12, 2007
Age: 56
Posts: 1405
Location: Vancouver not BC, Washington not DC
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| Posted: Sat Jul 05, 2008 7:16 pm Post subject: |
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Dear Paolo,
I wish I knew a way to solve your desperation. |
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Greentea
Bull in China Shop par Excellence!
Joined: Jun 15, 2007
Posts: 2230
Location: Middle East
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| Posted: Sun Jul 06, 2008 2:41 pm Post subject: |
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Paolo, I'm sorry to hear about your feelings of loneliness. I can totally identify.
At least I'm glad you are not so desperate for friends as to accept the friendship I extended to you a few months ago. I mean, desperation and all, you still conserve good taste and standards about who you befriend. Well done.
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"It is the wounded oyster that mends its shell with pearl" - Ralph Waldo Emerson |
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Starr
Phoenix
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Joined: Sep 18, 2006
Posts: 4254
Location: the misty mountain
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| Posted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 5:10 am Post subject: |
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I think it's difficult to make friends and even harder to keep them. I think it depends how severely AS affects that aspect of one's life.
Those of us whose AS requires us to 'disappear' for a while find it particularly difficult, especially with NTs, who don't understand why sometimes we're available then we've 'gone' because we have retreated into our shells and closed the door for a little while. People seem to see it as a rejection of them rather than a necessity. I have a few friends IRL who put up with this, and I appreciate them for putting up with it. |
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paolo
Phoenix
Joined: Aug 13, 2006
Posts: 1095
Location: Italy
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| Posted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 2:54 pm Post subject: |
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| It has been easier for me to find some place in small groups, where I was not obliged to have a tete a tete with anybody, but I could have a status of present-not-present. When I felt unhappy I could simply quit. Later in my life I knew that my abrupt disappearances were considered one of my odd peculiarities. These small groups don't exist anymore, at least for me. I imagine that if there were some havens for autistic people, they should have this basic rule: the right to appear and disappear (or quit) any time at whim. |
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