Break News: Mccain's 17 years old secret mistress!

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LePetitPrince
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19 Sep 2008, 4:15 pm

*sigh*- you Americans are so easily dragged by the false shocking news.

alex wrote:
AutisticMalcontent wrote:
I've been single all my life (21 years). Throughout elementary school, middle school, and high school, I asked about 10-12 girls or so in that duration. All of them rejected me


You only asked out 10-12 girls? did you seriously expect to get a girlfriend after asking only 12 girls out? Seriously, no wonder you're so frustrated, you've put all your hopes of relationship on the shoulders of 12 girls. There's almost 7 billion people in the world and you asked out only 12 people and you gave up. That's your problem right there.

even If you said you had been asking 12 girls a year, I'd say the same thing.


that was from: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt77065.html

First of all, I think this was the most cruel and ignorant post ever , even a trolly jerk as*hole like me wouldn't say such thing on this site.

I am wondering for a while about that post and I am not sure if I am being culturally biased here but know a lot of non-aspie guys (Friends, coworkers, acquaintances...etc) in my surroundings (in fact I don't know a single aspie guy) and none of them have the courage to ask 12 girls out a year , that makes 1 girl per month and alex is even saying "even If you said you had been asking 12 girls a year, I'd say the same thing." so he's suggesting even much more than that.

I am not sure if the guys in the US are that much different and ask out girls on monthly basis (I really like to know about that , maybe typical American guys are much more confident and courageous than typical Lebanese guys?) but in my surrounding, I know no single guy who has the balls to ask out 1 to 3 girl out every month, even the most sociable of them (I work in a moderate holding company with all types of guys:programmers, salesmen, businessmen, managers...etc), let alone the shy type guys ....and let a lone especially the aspie guys.

Usually guys who give such kind of "Super Confidence show" advices are usually the macho player type , you know those guys who brag about how easy they find to ask a girl out and get a date per week , they usually do that in order to make other guys feel how superior they are , it's a show-off advice at best ....but I only know two guys like that out of dozens of guys.

I wouldn't be surprised if this came out from a typical Macho social NT guy but what I find it surprising that it's coming out from the owner of a support site for people with social ineptness disorders and usually suffering from social anxiety and low self-esteem.

From this statement "even If you said you had been asking 12 girls a year, I'd say the same thing." he's suggesting that the single guy should ask even 2 to 3 girl per month till he gets a gf ...maybe he means even up to 10 girls per month.

A guy who can ask a 2 to 3 girls per month indicates a very social lifestyle : parties, clubs, hanging outs, sports ...

While asking girls out as much as you can is the way to go in order to find a girlfriend , I find it really hard that a typical Aspie guy who prefer the quiet and less-social activities (ie. Library, nature, museums , exhibitions , gaming against friends, cinema, ....etc) would even has the chance in order to be able to ask 2 to 3 girls per month....let alone to have the courage/confidence/esteem/motif to ask 2 to 3 girls out per month and let alone how hard to even find a non-taken girl in AutisticMalcontent's range of age. Not even to mention the time needed in order to emotionally recover from a rejection....

I wonder how Alex , the God of Aspies on WP, doesn't know that.

So my questions:
To alex: how the hell you don't know that?

To all: Is asking 12 girls per year at the very least (as alex suggested) is the standard way for finding a girl practiced by the vast majority of guys (NTs) in US?



Last edited by LePetitPrince on 19 Sep 2008, 5:11 pm, edited 5 times in total.

Tim_Tex
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19 Sep 2008, 4:17 pm

I'm an Aspie and I have tried to start correspondences with over 40 women. Only 2 or 3 of them succeed, however.


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Cyberman
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19 Sep 2008, 4:23 pm

I too found Alex's response rather discomforting. I wonder if he has the brand of AS which causes you to not have any "empathy."



Hero
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19 Sep 2008, 4:26 pm

I think the common practice is they flirt with damn near everything they consider a 5-10 in the attractive department...and ask to go somewhere with any that show positive signs.

From here, they generally try to build up friendship until they can get them to do stuff more easily or regularly, or jump right to asking about late night events or parties.

Than they get a little bit intimate try to sleep with them...and if they don't like them altogether drop them.

In other words...thats when you start hearing the as*hole comments...the notions of the one night stands...and the possible extreme success of certain individuals.

It also allows for how other individuals might perceive others bad intentions...assuming the person was only using another for sex.

At least, that is my awareness for the situation...so a good number I might predict(and the word DATE would rarely if at all be used.):


- Flirt a little with anything 5-10...so in other words, from a college perspective...flirt with 250-1000 women in a year.

- Flirt heavily with reciprocating parties...so flirting to now 50-250 women per year.

- Asking to do something... so basically "dating" or "asking out" 10-50 women per year.

- You get the picture.

At least that would be my estimate...I'm simply using the divisable by five, and theres not exactly a fullproof method I used to get those numbers. I'm picking them more arbitrarily to what I might consider reasonable to what MOST probably actually do, from what I have seen.

So take more from that notion ...rather than actual numbers.

Thats my opinion.



Cyberman
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19 Sep 2008, 4:26 pm

I find it unfathomable to ask 12 girls a year, let alone more. Many guys become jerks from asking and getting rejected all the time... it makes them insensitive.



LePetitPrince
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19 Sep 2008, 4:27 pm

I have feeling that this thread would be locked or ....*poof* disappeared like magic.



ToadOfSteel
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19 Sep 2008, 4:34 pm

Hero wrote:
- Flirt a little with anything 5-10...so in other words, from a college perspective...flirt with 250-1000 women in a year.


Ah. The shotgun method. Fire off a spray of metal and hope something hits its mark...



Tim_Tex
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19 Sep 2008, 4:35 pm

LePetitPrince wrote:
I have feeling that this thread would be locked or ....*poof* disappeared like magic.


So far, no.


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greenblue
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19 Sep 2008, 4:44 pm

Cyberman wrote:
I find it unfathomable to ask 12 girls a year, let alone more. Many gs become jerks from asking and getting rejected all the time... it makes them insensitive.

What exactly means being insensitive? I mean, it depends on the point of view, right?

I have been rejected without asking. Does that count?
Come to think of it, I have never formally asked any girl out, my odds against having a relationship seem impossible, if I have to ask more than 12 girls on a date. :lol:


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19 Sep 2008, 5:04 pm

First - wrong post in the link, although I know the thread you are referring to.

Honestly, given some of the comments made in the threads here, I find this to be relatively innocuous. Looking from a scientific perspective, you have to have enough samples to form a hypothesis, much less a conclusion. With 10-12 total attempts being the sample set, it is impractical and ineffective to make hard and fast decisions on that basis. I may not have asked out 12 a year, but I did talk to tens if not into the hundreds in an effort to understand, to keep trying, to learn. In the past ten years? I might ask out a couple women a year, if I was not involved otherwise. Doesn't mean I didn't consider many people, start conversations prior to thinking about asking for a date, etc. Sometimes, I've struck up a conversation with someone I was helping while at work.

I don't think your sarcastic tone is very helpful on the matter, but if it works - go for it.

I think you have to keep trying - to decide there is a set number of attempts before closing the door just seems rash and unfounded. It's not me though... so I don't have to make that decision. As I have not gone back to the original thread, there are some things I'd like to cite but will have to do so at a later date.


M.


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silentbob15
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19 Sep 2008, 5:13 pm

Alex's reply wasn't very compassionate, sounds like he missed his coffee that morning



LePetitPrince
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19 Sep 2008, 5:16 pm

^ thanks , link edited.


Quote:
I think you have to keep trying - to decide there is a set number of attempts before closing the door just seems rash and unfounded. It's not me though... so I don't have to make that decision. As I have not gone back to the original thread, there are some things I'd like to cite but will have to do so at a later date.


No one said to not keep trying here but Alex's approach to MalContent sounded like "You are ret*d socially loser".



Quote:
I might ask out a couple women a year, if I was not involved otherwise


Once you quit theorizing and start asking out 12+ girls per year then I would invite you to come to my country and to my house to spit on my face.



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19 Sep 2008, 5:18 pm

If you're in a situation where you're already talking to/around them (ie; social groups), then approaching them is a lot less intimidating, especially if there are other people around to help facilitate the conversation (but definately not too many).

I'm not claiming wild success here, I'm way behind the curve if you compare me to the average guy. I have to think of ways to maximize my results and I'm more than happy to share what I've learned along the way. You won't see me at a club (I haven't taken a single girl home from any clubs), but I've had positive encounters at a wedding, at dances (formal/church dances).

I won't lie, if my intention with someone is romantic, I have very little chance of getting with her using a direct approach, I've never had any success just walking up to someone and being frank (and sweaty palmed).



silentbob15
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19 Sep 2008, 5:21 pm

It was a mean way to reply to someone reaching out for help, especially a fellow aspie.



0_equals_true
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19 Sep 2008, 5:23 pm

It did strike me as odd, because asking 12 people out is a remarkable effort. I don't think it was an insult it was just attempt to apply a well known cliché invalidly to a situation. If anything you could wander what exactly is going wrong with there propositions and if there perhaps too much effort on just asking random people out rather then focusing on ‘relationship building’ (whatever that means).




LP do you stir the pot much? :wink:



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19 Sep 2008, 5:30 pm

"Break News: Mccain's 17 years old secret mistress!"
The baby is his?


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