difficulty talking to people online

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I seem to be having this difficulty talking to people online, i.e when i send them a PM they'll read it and respond and i'll respond to there's, they get my msg and read it but don't respond to it, despite me asking a question in the message I sent, to continue the flow of our conversation.
Or they'll respond to it a few days later despite coming online almost everyday.

Why is that so?

There's nothing wrong with my social skills cause I can socialise pretty alright in RL, in fact it's easier for me to socialise in RL than online even with some NTs O.o

Now, I find it interesting that you only send two posts, yet expect them to send more than you.

Welcome to my world.

This sort of thing happens to me too. I might send someone a PM and never hear back.

Someone can send me a PM and I reply and I never hear back.


I think that happens to everyone but I can see why you think you are doing something wrong. This is too often right?

There are reasons why people don't respond; they don't like you, too lazy to answer the question, don't know what to say after your response, have nothing to say, or the question you asked was personal and they don't want to answer it.


I don't always answer a question right away because I need to think of an answer or I am just too lazy to answer it at the moment and will do it later.

It could be that they have encountered a communication challenge that requires time to analyse to find solutions.

On resolving the challenge, the PM is sent.


Magliabechi.

If you are talking about IM conversations such as on Yahoo or MSN, they are amazingly difficult.

Partly for the reasons already discussed.

Another difficulty is when you are chatting and effectively you are talking to yourself. The other person only says "yeah" to absolutely everything.

Again perhaps it's that they don't like you, are too lazy, don't know what to say, or just don't really want to talk. In this situation I tend to let the chat drop or don't respond, they probably don't really want to talk.

I thought as an Aspie I had communication challenges. Seems I am beaten hands down by people I talk to online. They can't all be Aspies. What are the chances?

Yeah it's something that's been bugging me for quite a while......

So from what I conclude so far it's pretty normal online right?

I usually answer all pm's but sometimes I might wait a day. The reasons could be that ...

-I'm busy
-I don't know the answer yet
-I want to write a longer answer when I have time
-I forgot to go back and answer the pm

However, I've sent emails to my aspie friend and never received replies. Probably due to the fact we chat daily. Sometimes his answers are "yeah", "okay" or "I don't know". When that happens he's either distracted, tired or shutting down. I've learned to read the signals. I know he's not bored. If I don't type for several minutes, he'll say something to prod me. He prefers I start conversations because he can't so I do.

I have an online friend from Brazil who I believe might have Asperger's. He writes really long emails to practice English. I find it hard to respond to him right away because I feel like I have to write long ones back. I end up not writing for a week and he'll send another one. I've learned to send a short reply with the promise of a longer one when I had time.

Anyway, I don't think it's you. It should be okay to send a second pm, maybe it would prod them to remember. If after the second one, you get no reply, then maybe worry a little.

Yeah you could be right with what you said, thxs.




thxs, yeah you're right, I might do that, but yeah I want to wait a few days b4 I do it, so it doesn't seem like I'm desperate.

I wouldn't have suspected Asperger's just based on this. Could it just be that your Brazilian friend is just highly educated, or perhaps people from countries such as his are more keen to correspond with other countries/cultures than e.g. the average American?

Or has he spoken of any special interests, especially as his correspondences are so long? Does he at least appear to have an active social life or does it sound like it is lacking?

Perhaps it's too easy to wonder if people might have AS but I have a friend, in Indiana, for whom there's a lot more to be said. The following are some things she has described about herself.

a) She mentioned that she has speech impediments. She cannot pronounce some sounds - articulation disorders, if anyone's familiar with them. It's not a problem I have but I sure did as a kid, and I still have an unusual voice prosody and quality which must be down to my AS.

b) She has sensory issues such as with noise, people, personal space and especially shiny objects; as well as attention issues and being easily distracted. Sound familiar? It is to me.

c) Motor and co-ordination issues. Cannot do almost all sports because of co-ordination, and walks into people. She says she is very clumsy. Dyspraxia - something which often comes with Asperger's - is without a doubt.

She hasn't mentioned having any challenges with interaction, communication or focused interests. Perhaps she has them but doesn't wish to admit it. The above could point to Asperger's or there might be another possibility.

There is even another girl - in the same state! - who I wouldn't be surprised if she had AS but there isn't as much evidence. She is one of those people who is almost incessantly on the computer and stays indoors for long periods. She mentioned how she was invited to a party, to which she went, but said she'd rather be online chatting to me than go to the party. That was nice of her but personally I'd always take the opportunity to socialise in real life.

Yeah, it's very likely she has autism.

As for the other girl you mentioned, it's hard to tell. It could be she has avoidant personality disorder, just didn't feel like going out (but reluctantly went), or probably not into parties. Or maybe she's just being nice to you. There are many reasons.

Answering pms is easy, and socializing over the net is way easier than irl. You have more time to think about what you're saying before saying it.

In my case, I hear from my friend only once a month, yet she is online nearly every day (usually on MySpace).

And it really upsets me, and I am worried that it will ruin my friendship with her.

Once a month really isn't very often. When she's online, Myspace is her priority and sadly, you aren't and I would think she isn't really interested in talking to you.

I too am upset at this because when people who are lucky enough to have typical social networks go online, it's social networking sites they use. Not to talk to random people like you or I who are perfectly OK people. But social networking sites are preferable to people, and a great many people have used the Internet to meet random, non-local people and tend to have had bad experiences with them.

She wasn't always like this.

Has the contact from her become progressively less often, and progressively more drawn out before times when she responds?