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Do you know what makes people reject you? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6  Next  
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Are you sure what the reason is for rejecting you?
Totally sure
4%
 4%  [ 6 ]
Have a pretty good idea
21%
 21%  [ 32 ]
I have some clues
45%
 45%  [ 68 ]
No idea
20%
 20%  [ 31 ]
I'm not particularly rejected
6%
 6%  [ 9 ]
I never gave it any thought
2%
 2%  [ 3 ]
Total Votes : 149

Greentea
Goddess of Wisdom
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Joined: Jun 15, 2007
Age: 52
Posts: 5678
Location: Middle East

PostPosted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 1:36 pm    Post subject: Do you know what makes people reject you? Reply with quote

For those who are mostly rejected, like me, are you totally sure you know why? I, personally, don't have the faintest idea...
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jkennedy293
Toucan
Toucan


Joined: Oct 25, 2008
Age: 39
Posts: 275
Location: Holly Springs, NC

PostPosted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 1:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I used to wonder about it alot, but now I don't care if people like me or not.
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tomboy4good
An Equal Opportunity Annoyer
Phoenix


Joined: Apr 15, 2008
Posts: 1608
Location: Irritating people everywhere

PostPosted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 1:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

No clue! But then again, by the time I realize something is wrong, it's way too late. Embarassed
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Aspie Score: 173/200, NT score 31/200: very likely an Aspie
5/18/11: New Aspie test: 72/72
DX: Anxiety plus ADHD/Aspergers: inconclusive
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Fnord
Resident Trollhunter & Metasyntactic Variable
Phoenix


Joined: May 07, 2008
Posts: 22771
Location: Stendec

PostPosted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 1:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

My lack of inhibition in pointing out the obvious flaw that everyone else is politely pretending to not notice.
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Online tests can not provide an objective ASD diagnosis.


Last edited by Fnord on Thu Oct 30, 2008 1:55 pm; edited 1 time in total
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neshamaruach
Phoenix
Phoenix


Joined: Oct 22, 2008
Age: 56
Posts: 929

PostPosted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 1:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, let's see. I don't know for sure, but here are my guesses:

I'm awkward socially, so if people are feeling insecure, they don't feel secure enough to reach out.

I don't let people see enough of me, so they don't get to know me, and I experience that as rejection.

I've hyperlexic (you might have noticed that from other posts...or maybe this one...I'm not sure yet because I haven't finished this one yet, so just hang on for a bit, and we'll find out. (Oh, G-d, am I getting irritating? I don't mean to be irritating. It's just that I really want to make sure that I'm not making the wrong assumption about what people perceive and that you all understand my intentions and things are clear...does this ever happen to you? Anyway, what was I saying?)

Oh, right, I'm hyperlexic. You know how some people can drink anyone under the table? I can talk anyone under the table. Then they sneak away from under the table and I'm left with the check.

I take words very, very seriously. For instance, if someone says "Yes," I don't interpret it to mean "Maybe." When it turns out to mean "Maybe," I get very pissed off and frustrated, which for some strange reason does not endear me to most human beings.

Of course, if I find a fellow alien who feels the same say, we do just fine for awhile, until we wear each other out by being so incredibly pissed off at the same things. It's not exactly the best basis for a friendship. Or so I've found. Very recently.

I tend to make plans to do things with people and back out at the last minute because I don't want to be in a group of people. That generally causes people to not invite me again.

I'm more comfortable expressing my feelings in writing than in person, and this causes most people to feel that I'm being cold and distant.

But the fact is, I'm an incredibly smart, passionate, loving, wonderful human being who just can't imagine why all of the above gets in the way.
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Droopy
Deinonychus
Deinonychus


Joined: Dec 29, 2006
Posts: 359
Location: Ohio

PostPosted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 2:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

neshamaruach wrote:
Well, let's see. I don't know for sure, but here are my guesses:

I'm awkward socially, so if people are feeling insecure, they don't feel secure enough to reach out.

I don't let people see enough of me, so they don't get to know me, and I experience that as rejection.

I've hyperlexic (you might have noticed that from other posts...or maybe this one...I'm not sure yet because I haven't finished this one yet, so just hang on for a bit, and we'll find out. (Oh, G-d, am I getting irritating? I don't mean to be irritating. It's just that I really want to make sure that I'm not making the wrong assumption about what people perceive and that you all understand my intentions and things are clear...does this ever happen to you? Anyway, what was I saying?)

Oh, right, I'm hyperlexic. You know how some people can drink anyone under the table? I can talk anyone under the table. Then they sneak away from under the table and I'm left with the check.

I take words very, very seriously. For instance, if someone says "Yes," I don't interpret it to mean "Maybe." When it turns out to mean "Maybe," I get very pissed off and frustrated, which for some strange reason does not endear me to most human beings.

Of course, if I find a fellow alien who feels the same say, we do just fine for awhile, until we wear each other out by being so incredibly pissed off at the same things. It's not exactly the best basis for a friendship. Or so I've found. Very recently.

I tend to make plans to do things with people and back out at the last minute because I don't want to be in a group of people. That generally causes people to not invite me again.

I'm more comfortable expressing my feelings in writing than in person, and this causes most people to feel that I'm being cold and distant.

But the fact is, I'm an incredibly smart, passionate, loving, wonderful human being who just can't imagine why all of the above gets in the way.


I think you said it for me rather well, thank you.
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Taylor
Phoenix
Phoenix


Joined: Oct 19, 2008
Posts: 811

PostPosted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 2:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I dont know about online. I dont think i go so well but in real life people love me they think Im beautiful except i think i talk in monotone sometimes and i talk about what Im interested above everyone else so it isnt so much me as it is my not very well advanced social skills.
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neshamaruach
Phoenix
Phoenix


Joined: Oct 22, 2008
Age: 56
Posts: 929

PostPosted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 2:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Droopy wrote:
I think you said it for me rather well, thank you.


You're welcome. It's so nice to have people understand, isn't it? Very Happy
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HereComeTheLizards
Sea Gull
Sea Gull


Joined: Mar 22, 2008
Age: 38
Posts: 203

PostPosted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 2:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Because I'm not like THEM.
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Fnord
Resident Trollhunter & Metasyntactic Variable
Phoenix


Joined: May 07, 2008
Posts: 22771
Location: Stendec

PostPosted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 2:25 pm    Post subject: Re: Do you know what makes people reject you? Reply with quote

Greentea wrote:
Do you know what makes people reject you?

When I don't respond to their attempts to get my attention.
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Only appropriately-trained and licensed mental-health
professionals can make a valid diagnosis of an ASD.
Online tests can not provide an objective ASD diagnosis.
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CockneyRebel
Mick Avory, Sensitive brown-eyed Sweet Pea
Phoenix


Joined: Jul 18, 2004
Age: 40
Posts: 91326
Location: In a quiet and peaceful garden, where gentle Mick Avory-like Sweet Peas grow.

PostPosted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 2:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm not a sheep like everybody else, and I have a personality that shows.
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The darling, unworldly Mick Avory with hands like shovels, who wouldn't dare choose to hurt a soul: I'm the cuddly, adorable Kink. Sweet Peas: http://s76.photobucket.com/albums/j37/Cocknee/Kinks/Sweet%20Pea%20Smileys/ Blog: http://ramblingsofasuccessfula
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AnonymousAnonymous
Is Not A Science Experiment
Phoenix


Joined: Nov 24, 2006
Age: 24
Posts: 28986
Location: Portland, Oregon

PostPosted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 2:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Because I'm taller than BOTH my mom & my older NT sister.

Not allowed to have friends.

Not allowed to volunteer for a non-profit.

Allowed to be jerked around.
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misfit
Raven
Raven


Joined: Oct 24, 2008
Posts: 106

PostPosted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 3:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

neshamaruach said much of it for me too.

My mum said that when I was a kid, I would always try to be friendly, then when the other kids figured I wasn;t like them or was too smart or thought too much ,they would drop me like the proverbial hot potato.

I am much more selective in who my friends are these days. I don't expect or hope or wish that everyone will like me.
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Kirska
Phoenix
Phoenix


Joined: Aug 12, 2008
Age: 28
Posts: 847
Location: Dallas, TX

PostPosted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 3:32 pm    Post subject: Re: Do you know what makes people reject you? Reply with quote

Greentea wrote:
For those who are mostly rejected, like me, are you totally sure you know why? I, personally, don't have the faintest idea...

No clue.

I had a hard time making friends in elementary and middle school, relatively no problems in high school, and in college it has reached an all time low.

If I had a dime for every time I've asked myself "why didn't they invite me too..." I'd probably be able to just buy friends. Granted I know that a lot of people initiate things more than me, but I know people that NEVER initiate outings and get invited to way more events than me.

I just don't get it. I wish I could either work around it or let it not bother me, but thus far I haven't had any success with either approach.
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Mikhaillost
Deinonychus
Deinonychus


Joined: Jan 15, 2008
Age: 24
Posts: 383

PostPosted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 3:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think it is because I seem obnoxious and I don't understand their social cues... or when they make a reference to a celebrity. Stuff like that. They don't know why I don't get it. I honestly confuse Tim Allen and Robin Williams (I even had to look up Mrs Doubtfire to get that last one.) I have no idea why I confuse the two... but stuff like that happens between a lot of celebrities.
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