Kirska
Phoenix
Joined: Aug 12, 2008
Age: 27
Posts: 847
Location: Dallas, TX
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 Posted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 2:10 pm Post subject: Disrespect towards college students |
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I am realizing now that I am almost done with college that this was my biggest pet peeve with college. Constantly I am grouped with my idiotic classmates by professors and staff.
This realization came to me with this event today:
I am a TA, and every year we have to get the students to fill out course evaluations. I had a lab last Wednesday. There is no class this Wednesday. Next Wednesday is our last lab session. When I got the email about course evaluations a few weeks ago, I checked the schedule and specifically planned to pick them up this week and have the students fill them out in the last week of lab.
Last Thursday or Friday (after my lab for that week was already over and done with), we got an email that all of the sudden listed the deadline as tomorrow. I responded with a message saying that I wasn't aware we only had until tomorrow and that I didn't have a lab period between that email and the deadline. The staff member's response was this:
"You need to be more aware of the calendar, then, don’t you?"
I was so infuriated. I took a few minutes to let my blood pressure go down. I have never been disrespectful or rude towards this person. I have always tried to be friendly and cooperative in the past.
I responded that I still had another lab session, and I WAS aware of the schedule, I HAD planned with the calendar, and her new deadline did not meet up with the plan I had in place, but the old deadline of the end of the semester did.
I avoided walking past that office on the way out of the building because I was still so infuriated an hour later I was afraid I would say something snotty.
So yeah, I am sick and tired of being stereotyped as a clueless party animal like some of my other classmates. I have had staff members correct me when I call them by their first name. I don't understand the superior/inferior idea behind staff members and students. I can see it with people you have as a professor in a class, but just as a staff member? I don't have the support of my parents. I pay my way through college. I am married. I pay my own rent and bills. I am NOT that much different from you... In fact my tuition is paying your paycheck, so in my opinion if anything you should be calling ME Mrs. so-and-so since I am your customer, not the other way around.
Anyway the whole situation made me feel so belittled and disrespected. I am so incredibly tired of it. Yet another social expectation that I just don't understand.
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outlier
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Joined: Oct 17, 2008
Posts: 1526
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| Posted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 2:26 pm Post subject: |
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It is also possible that staff member is rude to others in general, or they could have been having a bad moment. That kind of response would irritate me too. I had the opposite problem with using first names, though; could never bring myself to use a first name without including the surname. That went for all staff members. However, using first names was the norm there.
You seem relatively familiar with this person, so if you tell us more about them it might offer some clues why they responded in that way. |
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Woodpecker
I am not a jigsaw ! I am a free man !
Joined: Oct 19, 2008
Age: 40
Posts: 2323
Location: Europe
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| Posted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 2:40 pm Post subject: |
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Well there are some people working at some universities who are jolly nasty. Some of them express a great hatred of students, which makes me want to ask "why do you work at a university then ?" but I normally keep that thought to myself.
Also a series of different groups oftein exist who have different world views and they do not always get on well.
Technical staff
Academic staff
Undergraduates
Postgraduates
Postdoc researchers
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brankmonkey1
Blue Jay
Joined: Nov 04, 2008
Age: 36
Posts: 99
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| Posted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 2:59 pm Post subject: |
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The college i went too the staff was pretty nice there i had no problems with them i went to a small private college
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neshamaruach
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 22, 2008
Age: 54
Posts: 929
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| Posted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 4:13 pm Post subject: |
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I've found that this is very common in academia. The pecking order is incredible. When I was in graduate school, there was only one professor in the entire department who would acknowledge a student walking down the hallway. Just one. Everyone else, including my advisor, could not even manage a smile or a hello or a how are you to any of the graduate students. These were the people who were supposed to be guiding and supporting us through the process of getting our PhDs and becoming academics, and they treated us like we didn't exist. We taught freshman and sophomore classes so that they could get some research done, and they still didn't acknowledge us. And did I mention that we got paid next to nothing and were not even allowed to unionize?
Then I'd go to conferences and watch the competition between the professors--tenured professors, whose positions were guaranteed for life, and they were still obsessed with who was the most cutting-edge thinker of the century.
After grad school, I worked for several large software corporations, and I never saw anyone in any of them who was as competitive, ambitious, power hungry, or back stabbing as I saw in academia. |
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Woodpecker
I am not a jigsaw ! I am a free man !
Joined: Oct 19, 2008
Age: 40
Posts: 2323
Location: Europe
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| Posted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 4:28 pm Post subject: |
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Some professors are nasty, some are nice. They are not all the same. You tend to get a cross section of society amoung professors.
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Health is a state of physical, mental and social wellbeing and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity I am not a jigsaw, I am a free man ! |
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Kirska
Phoenix
Joined: Aug 12, 2008
Age: 27
Posts: 847
Location: Dallas, TX
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| Posted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 5:08 pm Post subject: |
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| neshamaruach wrote: | I've found that this is very common in academia. The pecking order is incredible. When I was in graduate school, there was only one professor in the entire department who would acknowledge a student walking down the hallway. Just one. Everyone else, including my advisor, could not even manage a smile or a hello or a how are you to any of the graduate students. These were the people who were supposed to be guiding and supporting us through the process of getting our PhDs and becoming academics, and they treated us like we didn't exist. We taught freshman and sophomore classes so that they could get some research done, and they still didn't acknowledge us. And did I mention that we got paid next to nothing and were not even allowed to unionize?
Then I'd go to conferences and watch the competition between the professors--tenured professors, whose positions were guaranteed for life, and they were still obsessed with who was the most cutting-edge thinker of the century.
After grad school, I worked for several large software corporations, and I never saw anyone in any of them who was as competitive, ambitious, power hungry, or back stabbing as I saw in academia. |
Yeah I have known a handful of professors who obviously only teach because they *have* to. They want to research but in order to do so they have no choice but to put up with us students.
There is one professor like that in particular here that has walked out on a number of classes. I was in a class of his once where he looked at the distance student camera and said, "Teaching distance student classes does me no good. It is your privilege that I sit up here and do this. I gain nothing." Yeah. Oh wait, except you get PAID to teach. Right.
I have no idea why he's still around. For one undergrad class he decided to just not deal with it for a few weeks and didn't show up to class. I have complained to the dean about him, as I know others have, but he's still around... I don't get it.
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Warsie
Lolicon Black Nationalist
Joined: Apr 04, 2008
Age: 22
Posts: 2895
Location: Chicago, IL, USA
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| Posted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 6:17 pm Post subject: Re: Disrespect towards college students |
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| Kirska wrote: | | I have had staff members correct me when I call them by their first name. I don't understand the superior/inferior idea behind staff members and students. I can see it with people you have as a professor in a class, but just as a staff member? |
An instructor was mad at me for calling him "dude" 
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NocturnalQuilter
Subtle Diety
Joined: Oct 08, 2008
Age: 44
Posts: 1574
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| Posted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 6:28 pm Post subject: Re: Disrespect towards college students |
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| Warsie wrote: | | An instructor was mad at me for calling him "dude" |
Justifiably so. "Dude" is completely inappropriate in a work/school or business setting.
It may be appropriate between you and your "bro's", in a frat house or out on the beach- but that's about it. |
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2ukenkerl
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Joined: Jul 20, 2007
Posts: 6931
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| Posted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 6:51 pm Post subject: Re: Disrespect towards college students |
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| NocturnalQuilter wrote: | | Warsie wrote: | | An instructor was mad at me for calling him "dude" |
Justifiably so. "Dude" is completely inappropriate in a work/school or business setting.
It may be appropriate between you and your "bro's", in a frat house or out on the beach- but that's about it. |
HECK YEAH! DUDE is actually ULTRA familiar! It is like 2-3 times as familiar as familiar you in German, and NO self respecting german would do that UNLESS it was a CLOSE FRIEND, RELATIVE, ANIMAL, subordinate, someone much younger, or someone that said they could.
BTW DUDE should ALSO only be used towards males, and probably only by males.
Kirska,
Consider yourself LUCKY that you at least THINK you only know a handful that "teach" only for pay. As for that JERK you spoke about, such cameras can do NOTHING but convey info that can be recorded or generated. That means it is yet ANOTHER indicator that HE IS NOT NEEDED! HECK, most teachers teach GARBAGE, propaganda, out of order, etc.... With the internet and all, they seem to FINALLY be realizing what I have spoken about for close to 4 DECADES! That jerk should be HAPPY he has a job. The COLLEGES should be HAPPY they do as well. |
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neshamaruach
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 22, 2008
Age: 54
Posts: 929
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| Posted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 7:04 pm Post subject: Re: Disrespect towards college students |
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| Warsie wrote: | | Kirska wrote: | | I have had staff members correct me when I call them by their first name. I don't understand the superior/inferior idea behind staff members and students. I can see it with people you have as a professor in a class, but just as a staff member? |
An instructor was mad at me for calling him "dude" |
Dude--
Had I been your instructor, I would have considered being called "dude" evidence that you felt at ease with me. Given that I am a very informal person and that I very much want my students to feel at ease with me, I would have considered it a compliment and a mark of my success.
I've never considered myself to be on a higher level than my students; in fact, I've learned a lot from them over the years. My outlook has never been "I teach, you learn, so sit still and be polite" but "You learn, I help, so please, go ahead and show me who you are and what's on your mind."
You can see why I fled academia while I still had the chance.  |
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NocturnalQuilter
Subtle Diety
Joined: Oct 08, 2008
Age: 44
Posts: 1574
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| Posted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 7:08 pm Post subject: |
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| The way I was brought up- it is SIR, MA'AM. Even at 40 I would never consider anything else unless I was specifically invited by the other person to be more familiar with them. |
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Kirska
Phoenix
Joined: Aug 12, 2008
Age: 27
Posts: 847
Location: Dallas, TX
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| Posted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 7:20 pm Post subject: Re: Disrespect towards college students |
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| neshamaruach wrote: | I've never considered myself to be on a higher level than my students; in fact, I've learned a lot from them over the years. My outlook has never been "I teach, you learn, so sit still and be polite" but "You learn, I help, so please, go ahead and show me who you are and what's on your mind."
You can see why I fled academia while I still had the chance. |
I agree. I am the same way with the students of my labs. Granted, I am very close to them in age but I am still teaching them. I actually feel weird when one of them refers to me with a Ms or Mrs, etc.
We get so much more accomplished when they feel comfortable around me and can say whatever they feel. Open communication is generally a must for effective learning, in my experience. I know I don't feel comfortable having an open conversation with someone I have to refer as title+last name.
I mean, we (they) are not in grade school anymore. We're adults. I wonder if I had been treated differently if I were 10 years older.
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lumlock
Hummingbird
Joined: Sep 02, 2007
Posts: 18
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| Posted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 7:33 pm Post subject: |
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Hi, I rarely post on here, so I'm sorry for my lack of response.
I've just started college at Hussian school of art this year and I came into it with a really depressed mood. It seems everyone is impressed with my work, but I'm barely impressed with it myself,or not as much as I should. My classmates seem to really like me as I seem to give of such a good feeling to others, but I don't feel as involved with my classmates as I would want to. I get very and easily hurt or jealous when I see other people in love or doing or saying they do things that I don't really take a liking to, but might want to be involved in only if it's a woman. I don't have much of any of a social life I feel happy with and all of these problems plus my depression + aspbergers combination is the reason I have these problems are hurdles in my college career.
But then there seems to be a shining opportunity to rid my self of my major very uncontrollable worries and depression, adderall! When I really took adderall for the first time, I was really happy for the first time in a long while, I didn't really give a dam if I saw this cute couple walking past me with their grins of joy or fake joy, i wasn't worried about " gee wish I had her " or " I wish she wasn't such drug up ho, then things might go right " I just didn't care and I had much more insight and focus on my work. Then one day It went down, I fell down, like through ten earth lengths and straight to hell impaled to a pole with my limbs torn off. I got to the point where I cut myself with my exact o blade like 6 time on my left arm and just cried. Then visits with my shrink trying to revise my negative thoughts and turn them positive which seem to not really have a effect and weening off of my other meds and continuing with lexipro and starting effexor XR seems to have steadily help still with not continuous, but only needed doses of adderall when I feel like I'm free falling again seems to be helping. I have to get my sleeping pattern right because I feel the most depressed at night so I take adderall because I just feel so bad without it and I stay up all night into tomorrow and till the next time I might sleep so I have to have a good timed dosage that makes me feel good till the next time I take it or need to take it but only in the morning so I get rest.
Now back to college, I've been out for about 2 weeks because of my serve depression, anxiety and stress, I've called and told two of the teachers that are the most caring about my problem with my illness and told the program administrator what's going on, how I'm cutting myself and everything. I just come back in before the 3rd week is missed due to maybe or perhaps I'm getting better and my Instructor for my Monday class said that I could have been failed if I didn't come in today............ That's just +*&$*^@ lovely. My biggest fear about going to college is that I would +%$# it up and be $%*! the rest of my life, and he's the only one mentioning it to me. I asked the program administrator if there was anything I needed to be worried about since my absence due to my could of been fatal or lethal illness that has a 15% suicide rate and she just told me to ask my instructors. Maybe this isn't really accurate for me maybe he really doesn't know the situation of what the administration or staff of the school is thinking about my situation, but no one called to warn me of in depending doom or how to best handle it. What if I came in Tuesday and they just told me I'm out, how do they really expect an already really depressed person to take that, also knowing that reaction is his biggest fear!?
It just seems they just don't care, not even a little. |
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Callista
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Joined: Feb 04, 2006
Age: 30
Posts: 9809
Location: Central USA
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| Posted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 7:47 pm Post subject: |
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No, they really don't. Most colleges have no room for imperfect people. I was kicked out for self-injury; and then when I finally got back in, they kicked me back out again for grades. I'm at a different school now; and while they are actually good with accommodations, they would probably kick me out if I were hospitalized again.
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