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Haliphron
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Joined: 28 Jan 2008
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,980

17 Jan 2009, 4:25 am

I say I want a gf and I think that is true :lol:. I have no doubt that I'll get what I want;eventually. But the bigger question in my mind is: Will I want what I (actually)get.... :? I say this because long ago when I was a lad of age 18 and 19 I say other people with gf's and I wanted it too, but then when I actually GOT a gf(I was NOT actually looking for romance when I met her, I was looking for something else but you get the idea) it didnt make me happy the way I thought it would. :( But it wasnt her, it was me. Im NOT saying that I didnt like her, but that I learned from experience that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence in my life. I wonder that if I met somebody tomorrow, the thrill would actually wear off quite quickly and Id be left feeling the same way. Discuss...



Rip-City
Tufted Titmouse
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Joined: 2 Jan 2009
Age: 41
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17 Jan 2009, 4:40 am

Yeah... I'm wondering about that kind of thing myself. Never had a GF (something close in college, but it wasn't meant to be. Or something. My awareness was horrible, so I actually couldn't tell you how far it went, just that I've never gotten that close to a relationship again).

I have trouble imagining not being able to seperate myself from everything; I like to compartmentalize my life, and having a relationship that will more and more bleed into everything may not work that well. I just don't know if the trade off would make it worth it, not just to me, but to the other person.

I'm not sure why I want a relationship. I was diagnosed back in March, and before then, I had always wanted/struggled to be like everyone else, and having a girlfriend was a huge sign of normalcy. Coupled with letting go of wanting to be like everyone else being extremely difficult (more a matter of habit than one of the will), I don't know if my wanting a relationship is just my fit-in reflex showing up.



oli234
Toucan
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Joined: 20 Aug 2008
Age: 38
Gender: Male
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17 Jan 2009, 6:45 am

I've had this problem a lot. When you're single you think all you need is to meet a nice girl and all you're problems will magically go away. They wont, feelings of rejection and loneliness will go away but if it's at the cost of being with someone you're not actually in love with then they just get replaced by new problems. I think the key is to try and understand the difference between being in love with someone because of who they are and being on love with someone because they are available and you're lonely. The first one might last and actually make you happy the second just causes problems.