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harlow
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Feb 11, 2009
Posts: 29
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 Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2009 12:41 pm Post subject: Should I tell my 10 y/o daughter |
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I wonder if I should tell my 10 y/o daughter she has aspergers. What do other kids with aspergers think about me telling her? Would you rather know or rather not know?
She knows she is ADHD & short tempered.
I don't want to break her heart, she already knows she is different. If knowing would help though, maybe it is time to tell her. |
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Neuro-typical
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Aug 20, 2008
Posts: 32
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| Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2009 12:55 pm Post subject: |
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I don't know if 10 is the right age. It depends on her maturity level, of course.
I think ten would have been too early to tell me of my possible condition. However, it ended up that my kid brother told me during a fight one day when i was a rather older teen, and that was definitely not a good way to find out.
I'd suggest holding off until she gets to be 12 to 14 years old. |
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MommyJones
Toucan
Joined: Dec 04, 2008
Posts: 268
Location: United States
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| Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2009 1:04 pm Post subject: |
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| There are a couple of threads regarding this issue on here. One is recent and that I just saw in the last day or 2. You may want to peruse the forums. It seems that the concensus is to let them know early. I myself decided not to tell my child until he starts realizing that he is different, and he is old enough to be able to talk about it. Your child might already be at that point. Just make sure that you explain the gifts as well as the challenges. Make it positive. Good Luck! |
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Detren
Velociraptor
Joined: Feb 08, 2008
Age: 30
Posts: 449
Location: in the connection between the ansibles
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| Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2009 1:06 pm Post subject: |
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I'm not the kid, but I told my kid at about 8. He was there for the doctors appointment and we went to "see if they could let us know anything that would help us at school."
I basically said that the doctor said you have Asperger's syndrome. That means that some things are easier for you, but some things are harder for you like making friends. Your brain just uses different parts than a lot of other people's to do the same things.
I also let him know that now that the doctor said this some things at school should get better.
I think it all goes with how it is presented. I would have wanted to know the information as soon as it was available. |
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Josie
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 26, 2008
Posts: 643
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| Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2009 1:17 pm Post subject: |
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| I would tell her. |
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harlow
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Feb 11, 2009
Posts: 29
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| Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2009 1:37 pm Post subject: |
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| We have always talked about her special/individual strengths & weaknesses, I think we just have not used the word *aspergers* yet. |
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kornchild
Velociraptor
Joined: Jun 07, 2008
Posts: 431
Location: The Wrongplanet :)
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| Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2009 2:35 pm Post subject: |
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I think I would tell her.
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katiemonster
Tufted Titmouse
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Joined: Nov 23, 2008
Age: 28
Posts: 37
Location: orlando
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| Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2009 2:49 pm Post subject: |
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| I didn't want to tell my daughter... but she's there for the appointments and she's the one that I'm trying to put in the special program away from the problems that are hurting her. it has been a long horrible battle of fights and tantrums and tears. she knows were looking for something now: answers and help. she knows that she has several diagnosis and that she has to take medicine to keep those things under control. she knows she doesn't have to tell everyone and that she hasn't done anything wrong to have this. We often have 10 appointments in a month. she hears me talking to the dr's and then we talk. she's more confused by people that scream at her at school (oooh , yeah... the battles... awful) than the words the drs used. it depends on your situation, and the age of the child. but I would rather my daughter know that she is different and why and know what it's called and that she's not the only one - than go through her young life thinking she's an alien who has to be fixed... Why would i look for the answers and not talk to her about. She's a smart girl... she's going to make up her own version if she doesn't have the truth, and her version could be something awful! |
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harlow
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Feb 11, 2009
Posts: 29
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| Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2009 3:34 pm Post subject: |
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| You are right, and she realy has know all along anyway. We talk about it a lot, we just have not named it yet. |
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gbollard
K’Anpo no... Cho-Je... whatever.
Joined: Oct 06, 2007
Age: 40
Posts: 4409
Location: Sydney, Australia
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harlow
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Feb 11, 2009
Posts: 29
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| Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2009 5:30 pm Post subject: |
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| Wonderful insight, thank you for sharing! |
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Italianwolf77
Phoenix
Joined: Jan 04, 2009
Posts: 526
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| Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2009 6:32 pm Post subject: |
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| I'd tell her. She deserves to know about herself. |
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Darthzman
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Feb 12, 2009
Age: 11
Posts: 26
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| Posted: Tue Feb 17, 2009 7:42 pm Post subject: AP |
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I'm not sure you should tell her - yet again it would help so that she would not think she is different and you should show her this website and help her understand. 
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LifeOfTheSpectrum
Toucan
Joined: Aug 19, 2008
Posts: 268
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| Posted: Mon Mar 23, 2009 2:31 am Post subject: |
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Well I've grown up knowing I'm Autistic, and it would be better. YOu can claim disability benefits and get help at school, moreso than if you left it.
Tell her, let her be angry and then let her get over it.
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DX'd with Classic Autism. |
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Becks
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Sep 19, 2008
Posts: 52
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| Posted: Tue Apr 07, 2009 12:58 pm Post subject: |
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| IM 10! well actually 9 days untill im 11 but it helps |
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