grimesy
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Mar 09, 2009
Posts: 47
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 Posted: Mon Mar 09, 2009 9:19 am Post subject: does anyone sometimes feel awkward around people |
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| ive felt very awkward around certain people like my dad sometimes i find it hard just to mellow out sometimes if i have a conversation with someone i get agitated so i smoke my fag really fast or like tap my hand on a table or something stupid like that can anyone help |
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sgrannel
Commander Hoek
Joined: Feb 21, 2008
Posts: 1497
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| Posted: Mon Mar 09, 2009 9:50 am Post subject: |
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I feel awkward all the time around people and it SUCKS! This is my #1 problem! I'm aware of the problem even as it plays out, but to hell if I could do something about it.
At any given time in my life there are usually just a few "handlers" around whom I feel comfortable. My tendency to stick with these handlers and only work through them has made me seem clingy and has probably cost me networking opportunities.
This awkwardness is a major strike against me as far as dating goes, because potential partners expect nothing less than perfection, delivered in the style of James Bond, Crocodile Dundee and the like. That is not going to happen with me.
People have recently called me "retarded" because of body language issues and said "you couldn't be getting a Ph.D." because I'm not that quick in conversation especially around strangers. Well, OK, so I'm a retard with a Ph.D.
I take a long time to warm up to people, even family members. My need to retreat makes me unable to be chatty for extended periods (oxytocin lacking?). I sometimes am unresponsive even to people I care about a lot when in a setting in which I am not accustomed to seeing them (family and friends at my thesis defense). I have failed to recognize people I know well in unfamiliar settings (a friend's mom at the gas station). |
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b9
whatever..
Joined: Aug 15, 2008
Posts: 3350
Location: australia
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| Posted: Mon Mar 09, 2009 9:57 am Post subject: |
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| i am always drawn to "awks" so i always go in an "awkward" direction. |
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grimesy
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Mar 09, 2009
Posts: 47
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| Posted: Mon Mar 09, 2009 10:30 am Post subject: |
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| i know what your mean i sometimes just turn my back on people just becuase i know how the conversations gonna go im going to somehow kill the coversation like i allways do |
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BPalmer
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 26, 2008
Age: 36
Posts: 549
Location: Brisbane, Qld, Australia
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| Posted: Mon Mar 09, 2009 11:14 am Post subject: |
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| sgrannel wrote: | | I feel awkward all the time around people ... there are usually just a few "handlers" around whom I feel comfortable ... People have recently called me "retarded" because of body language issues ... I take a long time to warm up to people, even family members |
Like you, I'm very "pick 'n' stick", and the number of people I've been able to connect with would actually be a single digit. Even most people around here who "seem friendly" just come across as glad-handers guarding a sanitised atmosphere of "have a nice day" sycophancy from being challenged by anyone or anything. Recently I've pulled up the drawbridge, so to speak. Just my fiancée and a couple of friends to talk to on a regular basis, and a few others (landlord, boss) that I only deal with on "strictly business" terms. I have no desire to get out-and-about in the quasi-city I live in (essentially a country town with a popuation of 1 million). I only leave my room to go to work, or the supermarket. End of story. Yeah, you bet I feel awkward around other people! |
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thewildeman2
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Jan 27, 2009
Age: 40
Posts: 55
Location: Sheboygan, WI
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| Posted: Mon Mar 09, 2009 11:37 am Post subject: |
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Absolutely, and I know that this fuels stigma problems with us and "normals". I try to defy that awkwardness. With some people, if I think they can handle it, I come right out and tell them that my body language and facial expressions are not accurate and that I have autism. I have had very good luck with this approach, expcept that then they just want to talk about autism, and while I am an advocate and want people to learn, I don't always feel like talking about it.
No one should ever call you a retard because of your body language. It's a medical condition that has nothing to do with intellect. I get fairly defensive on that one.
Simply put, we cannot deny ourselves or just conform to what other people want any more than a diabetic can suddenly just start absorbing mass sugar safely. With rising numbers in our community (more than any other) I think that people need to learn more about us and understand that we are not the same old thing they are used to. It may be weird for them, but it's not a cake walk for us either.
Thanks for posting this, it's a good question.
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Learning2Survive
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 20, 2009
Age: 23
Posts: 1777
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| Posted: Mon Mar 09, 2009 12:16 pm Post subject: |
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| feel awkward standing at a cocktail party where people are talking in two's and three's and i am alone by myself looking around, looking like i am confused and lonely |
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preludeman
Phoenix
Joined: May 22, 2007
Age: 40
Posts: 622
Location: In my inner sanctum of solitude.
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| Posted: Mon Mar 09, 2009 12:44 pm Post subject: Is that what that is. |
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Is that what that is?  It sometimes takes a while to get comfortable around people. I wish you luck. 
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Do what you can when you can. I'm also the "alien"they are looking for. |
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mitharatowen
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 22, 2008
Posts: 3993
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| Posted: Mon Mar 09, 2009 12:54 pm Post subject: |
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Ocassionally 
Lol just kidding. Only like everyone save... oh... two people? |
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Magicfly
Toucan
Joined: Mar 17, 2008
Age: 33
Posts: 275
Location: Scotland
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| Posted: Mon Mar 09, 2009 5:49 pm Post subject: |
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Yep. To echo the sentiments of others I've only 'bonded' to one person as well; my partner and I have lived fairly isolated from people most of my adult life so far.
Even in a crowd of them their presence makes me incredibly uncomfortable and I start moving jerkily, the sheer number can cause sensory overload and yet I don't understand or can empathise with a single one of them. |
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ShadesOfMe
Bunny Pirate on the seven seas!
Joined: Jul 01, 2004
Age: 19
Posts: 18442
Location: California
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| Posted: Mon Mar 09, 2009 5:51 pm Post subject: |
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Yes. All the time.
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