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Ragtime
Legal Eagle Eye
Joined: Nov 03, 2006
Age: 30
Posts: 8764
Location: Dallas, Texas
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 Posted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 1:51 am Post subject: Humor: "Autism is caused by ________." |
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Mimic the "experts" on autism by filling in the blank with a random word or phrase.
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We believed that most politicians had shown no evidence of moral conscience -- until we became well aquainted with Barack Hussein Obama. Then, we realize they actually had. |
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ouinon
chemical reaction
Joined: Jul 11, 2007
Posts: 5352
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| Posted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 4:01 am Post subject: |
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Autism is an Emperor's New Clothes phenomenon caused by the industrial revolution, petroleum-fuelled society, and the mental-hygiene movement.
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enchantedsleeper
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Mar 25, 2009
Posts: 32
Location: Dreamland
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| Posted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 5:27 am Post subject: |
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"Autism is caused by... an excess of cheese in the brain-stem. This just in from Autism Speaks, the best and most reliable spokescompany for autism."
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If everyone is different, how can anyone be normal? |
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Apple_in_my_Eye
Phoenix
Joined: May 08, 2008
Age: 41
Posts: 638
Location: Youessae, on the Pacific side
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| Posted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 6:58 am Post subject: |
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| "Autism is absolutely caused by too much Minding of Theory. I know that to be the absolute truth because I invented the theory." |
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gina-ghettoprincess
Last of my kind
Joined: Nov 09, 2008
Posts: 2702
Location: The Town That Time Forgot (UK)
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| Posted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 8:40 am Post subject: |
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Autism is caused by watching clocks tick too much during pregnancy.
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Are you a teenager with Asperger's? http://www.teenagerswithaspergers.com <-- my friend's website. |
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McTell
Up Jumped the Devil
Joined: Jan 28, 2009
Age: 19
Posts: 1456
Location: Edinburgh
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| Posted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 9:38 am Post subject: |
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| Autism is caused by an excess of phlegm and black bile. |
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Ragtime
Legal Eagle Eye
Joined: Nov 03, 2006
Age: 30
Posts: 8764
Location: Dallas, Texas
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| Posted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 12:18 pm Post subject: |
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"Autism is caused by acting weird."
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We believed that most politicians had shown no evidence of moral conscience -- until we became well aquainted with Barack Hussein Obama. Then, we realize they actually had. |
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Social_Fantom
Jinchuuriki
Joined: Feb 23, 2008
Posts: 13462
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| Posted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 12:34 pm Post subject: |
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Autism is caused by a bad sperm cell which is 1 in every 500 that enters the egg during conception that causes a mutation in the embryo which causes the embryo to partially divide into two but over time they merge back together. However, when this happens, the mother begins to experience paranormal activity that can be severe as demonic possession which cause the mother's body to undergo horrific mutations and perform all kinds of silly and pointless acts which trigger adverse effects on the growing fetus. In the last stage of pregnancy, the demonic possession ends but leaves behind a radioactive substance in the mother's womb that causes her to eat grasshoppers and fertilizer which has a 90% chance, along with the other factors, of causing the baby to develop autism within 1-2 years after birth.
Well, that's what I heard anyway. 
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RAWR!!! |
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Acacia
Crown of Thorns
Joined: Dec 13, 2008
Age: 27
Posts: 1528
Location: Florida
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| Posted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 1:11 pm Post subject: |
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Autism is caused by living too close to power lines, which, as we all know, beam toxic radiation directly into our amygdalas, thereby disrupting our social aptitudes and regulation of emotions.
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Plantae/Magnoliophyta/Magnoliopsida/Fabales/Fabaceae/Mimosoideae/Acacia |
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DeaconBlues
They call Alabama the Crimson Tide - call me...
Joined: Apr 22, 2007
Posts: 2263
Location: Earth, mostly
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| Posted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 1:26 pm Post subject: |
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Autism is caused by overexposure to toxic political commercials, which is why autism rates in the US have skyrocketed since the Neocon movement began in the early 1990s.
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I am RICHARD, Chief Warlock of the Brothers of Darkness, Lord of the Thirteen Hells, Master of the Bones, Emperor of the Black, Lord of the Undead, and Mayor of a little village up the coast. Very scenic during springtime. |
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richie
Ye Olde Bookwyrme
Joined: Jan 10, 2007
Age: 51
Posts: 17806
Location: Lake Whoop-Dee-Doo, Pennsylvania
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| Posted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 4:00 pm Post subject: |
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Autism is caused by too much time on the toilet....My first foster mother T-trained me until I was
eight years old. But if I don't get enough quality time on the porcelain I would be full of it....
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Life! Liberty!...and Perseveration!!..... |
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Aspiegirl2001
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 28, 2008
Posts: 696
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| Posted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 4:25 pm Post subject: |
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Autism is caused by eating too much chocolate
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CelticGoddess
Lost in a song
Joined: Feb 07, 2006
Age: 34
Posts: 2884
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| Posted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 7:51 pm Post subject: |
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Autism is caused by kids being too "plugged in" to technology. A woman laid that gem on me in the card aisle in Wal-mart a few years ago.  |
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McTell
Up Jumped the Devil
Joined: Jan 28, 2009
Age: 19
Posts: 1456
Location: Edinburgh
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| Posted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 9:58 pm Post subject: |
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| Autism is caused by having a certain-colour magical "aura." |
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blue_bean
Self-helpless
Joined: Apr 14, 2006
Age: 26
Posts: 1990
Location: Mid North Coast, NSW, Australia
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| Posted: Thu Apr 16, 2009 7:00 am Post subject: |
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Autism is caused by video games
OR
Autism is caused by the government spiking our drinking water with mind altering chemicals |
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