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Sally872
Butterfly
Joined: Oct 13, 2008
Age: 33
Posts: 10
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 Posted: Sun May 03, 2009 1:50 am Post subject: Sensory Issues - Making Choices |
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Hi all,
My 5 yr old daughter is diagnosed AS and is extremely sensory sensitive. Her main sensory overload is the environment is loud. At school, at after school, in the car (younger brother), etc... My main issue is it is too loud at lunchtime and she won't eat lunch at school. So by the time I get her she is starving, dives into her packed lunch and eats. She has a headache from not eating and overall grumpy from it. The school is not able to have her sit in the office or somewhere else to eat. I am also hesitant to have her be separated from her classmates so she can remain "mainstream" as possible and call less attention to herself. Since she is in kindergarten, she does not really understand that she is a bit different from the NT kids in her class.
My other need for advice is helping her make choices. When her stress or anxiety levels go up (because of a change in the daily routine or schedule - planned or unplanned) I realize her stress level goes up. The rigid thinking increases and her ability to reason or see reason diminishes. I understand because she is sensory overloaded that is causing this but I give her a choice of A or B. For example, last night we were going to the store. She did not want to go but she wanted me to stay home instead of dad. Dad just had back surgery 2 days ago and cannot drive so that was not an option. 99% of the time, the whole family goes shopping (mom, dad, her and 4 yr old brother). So I gave her the choice to go to the store or stay home. But then I feel like I am stuck until she makes up her mind. I am sometimes stuck in the middle ground for 15 - 20 minutes at a time. I try not to force her but goodness, she needs to make a choice. This also goes for what shoes she is wearing to school that morning or what items to put in her lunch. Any advice? She is fine with the daily routine most of the time, but I notice when there is a slight chance or bump in the routine, then she tries to control her environment by being more rigid with shoes, dress, food, etc....
Any advice?
Thanks
Sally |
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wigglyspider
squirrel frustrator
Joined: Apr 24, 2009
Posts: 1163
Location: USA
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| Posted: Sun May 03, 2009 3:21 am Post subject: |
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Maybe you could give her some headphones/earmuffs/ear plugs to wear? (Maybe not ear muffs because she'd look a little weird, but whatever works..)
And I dunno.. maybe reward her for making up her mind in a timely fashion? Do you do the gold star thing? I loved the gold stars. |
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ster
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 24, 2005
Posts: 2727
Location: new england
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| Posted: Sun May 03, 2009 8:43 am Post subject: |
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the school lunchroom was very difficult for my kids....my daughter also had quite a hard time with public restrooms- the reverberation of the sound when the toilet flushed & the sound of those hand dryers made her so incredibly anxious.....for the lunchroom, both kids just ended up dealing with it ( eat fast so they could get out). for the restrooms, we just got to the point where we'd try to avoid going to public restrooms. if we had to go, then hubby and i would have a system where i would go in with her & talk to her the entire time about how she would be hearing another toilet flush and to be prepared for the sound. i'd also tell her to not flush the toilet......she's not as sensitive to these sounds now.
i'd try headphones or earplugs for the cafeteria- earplugs wouldn't stand out as much as headphones......
as far as choice-making goes, my first piece of advice is to limit the amount of choices she has to make. you already know she has difficulty with it, why give her a choice when you don't really need to ?.....part of the problem with giving you advice about what to do, is that i don't really know how stuck she gets with decision making.... If she really gets stuck alot, then I'd go with Option A: i'd let her know that you're going to start a new system at home- that when she needs to make a decision you'll tell her what her choices are ( only give her 2 choices). you'll set the kitchen timer for a specific amount of time ( 2-5 minutes). when the timer goes off, she has to have made a choice. if she hasn't made a choice by then, then you get to make the choice.
If she doesn't get stuck quite as much, then I'd go with Option B: tell her that she needs to make a choice. tell her that you'll give her a couple of minutes to decide. tell her that if she doesn't decide within that time, that you'll make the decision for her.
( the only difference with the 2 options, really, is that one is verbal prompting & the other takes you out of the equation- the timer is the one telling her to make a decision....) |
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jat
Deinonychus
Joined: Mar 30, 2008
Posts: 332
Location: Pennsylvania
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| Posted: Sun May 03, 2009 10:00 am Post subject: |
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At age 5 (when in kindergarten), my grandson used headphones to block out the noise from loud assemblies, loud recess, loud flushing in the bathroom, and the noise of the air conditioning coming on in the building. Now, at age 7, he rarely needs headphones, although his need for them increases not only with the volume, but also with his anxiety.
My now 15 y.o. used ear plugs to deal with the high volume at many parties when he was 13. Both children find/found that most of their classmates pay little, if any attention to the protective gear. Those who ask tend to be satisfied with a simple explanation like, "the loud sounds hurt my ears, and these help." Small children are much more accepting of these things than adults give them credit for; older children have often spent enough time with their atypical peers so they are used to their idiosyncrasies and barely notice them. As my 15 y.o. went through school, we often found that his classmates were far more accepting and understanding of his differences than his teachers were.
Don't let a fear that the classmates will notice prevent your child from having what she needs. If the gear helps her, she NEEDS it. Without it, her behavior will certainly cause her classmates to notice that she is different, and not in a good way. |
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Eekee
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Apr 11, 2009
Posts: 47
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| Posted: Sun May 03, 2009 10:47 am Post subject: |
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Your post sounds very familiar!
My son is 6 and in Kindergarten. He wears noise reducing headphones in his lunchroom, and sits at a table by himself, of his own choice. He uses the headphones anytime he feels he needs them, whether it's in the classroom, or at music or PE, or even on the playground. I've found that his stress level is reduced greatly, just from knowing he can use them whenever he wants. Having that confidence that if things are bothering him, he can go get them, gives him more courage to try things.
I wish I could remember the name of what CME's therapist is working on with him. She's teaching him how to keep his "engine" running just right. And showing him self-soothing and self-revving techniques. When he gets too stressed, he's learning to recognize the signs and implement his own strategies to settle down. It's really helping when there is a change in the routine, or when his brother is making him crazy. It's not perfect, but it's progress.
As far as choices go, I really try to limit the choices to the "right answer." For instance, if he HAS to go to the store with me, I'd ask, "Do you want to bring your airplane or your stuffed puppy to the store?" Or when it comes to getting dressed, "Do you want to put on your pants first, or your shirt?" He still has choices, but the fact remains that we're going to the store or getting dressed.
_________________
~Erica
Mom to Chris (6, newly diagnosed with AS) and Matthew (3, receiving OT for SPD) |
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