nobody believes that I have Asperger's when I tell them
Hi I'm new to the website and I'm not professionally diagnosed with Asperger's. When I try to tell people that I think I have it they actually get mad at me. I want to explain to them all my symptoms but it's a little embarassing. When I was younger:
>I would flap my hands whenever I was excited
>I would bang my head into walls if I was upset or bite my hands....mostly over video games (this is the most embarrasing)
>I was obsessed with video games and drawing super heroes (still am)
>I had no friends from 2nd grade to 8th and I didn't really try to make them.
>was diagnosed with depression in 8th grade and put on anti-depressants...I finally started to make friends
>I was and still am slightly uncomfortable with eye contact.
>always have been told I'm socially awkward and never understand why.
Ever since anti- depressants (which I'm not on anymore) I've been able to make friends alright, but the relationships are difficult for me to understand. I randomly became obsessed with ballet and now I'm a professional ballet dancer with a major company...I think it's because I'm somewhat successful and I can make friends, that nobody believes me. Can anybody give me any insight into this?
Why do people get mad at you for saying you might have AS?
Is it because they think that you are just using an excuse?
A professional ballet dancer? DAMN! That's a pretty impressive path in life for someone with potential AS.
Some of your past history is a bit similar to mine. I knew something was not normal about me for years before I was finally diagnosed but NO ONE would believe me. I could make friends but once I no longer had the school environment to be able to see them in the friendships would fade out. Trying to call them or hang out with them outside of school ended in instant failure.
I do think that they're might be some potential for AS in the symptons you described. But I think a professional diagnosis would be the only thing to really confirm this.
I think that the easiest way for other people to understand is to tell them that you permanently feel like you are going through the pains of living in a new country for the first three months. Studies at UCLA have shown that the brain responds to such circumstances in ways that are almost identical to High Functioning Autism (Asperger's).
richie
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semota
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Joined: 13 Dec 2008
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Gender: Female
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>I would flap my hands whenever I was excited
>I would bang my head into walls if I was upset or bite my hands....mostly over video games (this is the most embarrasing)
>I was obsessed with video games and drawing super heroes (still am)
>I had no friends from 2nd grade to 8th and I didn't really try to make them.
>was diagnosed with depression in 8th grade and put on anti-depressants...I finally started to make friends
>I was and still am slightly uncomfortable with eye contact.
>always have been told I'm socially awkward and never understand why.
Ever since anti- depressants (which I'm not on anymore) I've been able to make friends alright, but the relationships are difficult for me to understand. I randomly became obsessed with ballet and now I'm a professional ballet dancer with a major company...I think it's because I'm somewhat successful and I can make friends, that nobody believes me. Can anybody give me any insight into this?
If you're functioning higher, it's harder for a lot of people to believe that you have AS. People usually imagine Aspies to be very weird and to be completely unable to function in society or make friends. Besides, most of the Aspies gradually become more and more adept in communication and in socializing, and they can compensate their differences relatively well.
Still, I don't think it's a good strategy to go around and tell everybody that you have AS. It's just pointless.
people never believe I have it either despite the fact that I have a diagnosis and met all the criterior. So lesson learned- having a diagnosis will not make people believe you.
I agree with the other poster that people dont want to beleive it as they think it is an excuse.
The people who most strongly think I do not have AS are ones who want me to 'pull myself together' and that sort of thing, usually therapists and social workers, the real empathising types. I think as well that they project onto me what characteristics they think I have from how I look or because im friendly/polite. My fathers ex wife said 'but your the most affectionate person ever' where as I had only tollerated her hugs out of politeness and hate being touched.
People project a lot on to us to 'work us out' rather than just accepting what we say. I think this is the path we walk and that it will be a lifetime of being denied and miss
understood.
To the last person who denied my AS I said 'No one can diagnose or undiagnose me, only I know what goes on in my mind and have experienced my life and someone else can not tell me what I know, my diagnosis is my business and about how I define myself and what is usefull for me to understand myself better and it really does not matter what you think'.
I never told anyone i have it, people found out by the way i was/am its not so important to let people know but i wouldn't feel good too if i would have said i have AS and they would get made at me so i understand why you want them to believe you. I think for as far as i know is that NT's tend to make preconceptions in how you look and act. Sometimes it doesn't even make sense.
Welcome to join in and talk with us,dustintorch! Hopefully you one day can see it as positive that people dont believe you. You must be very highfunctional beeing able to be a proffessional balletdancer
Anyway, try not to be upset. I know some people have hard to believe me too, simply because I to them appear so normal and can do advanced things.
That doesnt mean you can still have AS as its a difficult balance in what you can deal with and not and mostly its stress that excist in your head that you might be very good in covering among others... at least it can be that for me..
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hi
thanks for the opinions...I guess there really is no point in telling people anyways. I just kind of have to be right all the time and when people think I'm wrong, it really bothers me...especially in this case when I feel so strongly about it. I'm still going to try and get a professional diagnosis though.
Thank you!
mikemmlj
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Joined: 13 Mar 2009
Age: 53
Gender: Male
Posts: 193
Location: Albuquerque, NM
I'm having the same issues. My Psychiatrist says I have Asperger's but my Psychologist said i have Dyssemia. Don't cut off other possible diagnosis options because you are comfortable with this one.
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I don't think dyssemia is what I have because while I have many of the symptoms (which are almost identical to asperger's btw) There's nothing to explain my meltdowns and unusual hand flapping and biting. These things were HUGE problems when I was a child up until about 13, and even though they don't affect me so much now, I NEED to know why I did those things. It's so weird, until like 3 weeks ago I felt extremely alone. Even when I had friends, I felt like I was never one of them. I've always suspected I was a little crazy but THANK GOD I found out about this because mild autism is sooo much better than crazy. I actually think it's kind of cool. I probably wouldn't be a dancer had I not had this. I wouldn't change myself for the world now...and that's saying a lot considering I've wanted nothing but to change myself ever since I can remember. I don't know where all that came from but whatever.
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