Will I ever find a girlfriend that is like me???! !

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Hey everyone!!

I have a huge problem ahead of me. I don't think I'm ever
going to find a girlfriend. Everyone else around me is having
a girlfriend and getting married, and I seem to be the only one
that is going to be lonely the rest of my life

Actually, part of the problem has to do with me. I happen to
be 33 years old, but the problem is that socially/emotionally
as well as in other ways, I'm very much like your average
4 1/2-5 year old. I know, I can speak and I'm articulate, but
that doesn't show you how disabled I really am. I mean, I know
a girl who is 25 who lives independently in a disabled/senior
housing apartment tower in Burlington, Vermont who has an IQ
of a 6 year old, but you would not guess that by the way she
writes her emails or letters.

I LOVE Teletubbies (I have always been a very big Teletubbies
fan), I L-O-V-E Care Bears and watch all the old episodes that
were on TV via YouTube, I love Barney (which everyone my
age hates), I love Sesame Street. I do not watch hardly any
adult shows. I love SpongeBob Squarepants on Nickolodeon.
I also love Tom and Jerry on Cartoon Network. For some reason, I cannot comprehend ANY of the other cartoons on Cartoon Network - they are just way beyond me. I do not understand cartoons like Foster's Imaginary Home for Friends, or Courage The Cowardly Dog, The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy,
and Powerpuff Girls. It is just way too hard for me to understand or to follow. And those cartoons are more for older children or
teens who are about 8-15 years old. Sadly, Teletubbies was dumped by PBS after 10 years (their deal to show Teletubbies was only for a 10 year term, licensed to them by BBC), so I
now have even one less show to watch. I have like 14 Teletubbbies backpacks I have gotten over the years. Some are
child sized, but I have a couple that are so big any adult could wear it. I have everything Teletubbies and Care Bears. I have
dolls, I have backpacks, radios, clocks, a Teletubbies pop up
tent I ended up buying from an Ebay seller in England (which
ended up costing me $100 to get in the mail!!). Back to what
I was saying, I don't understand the new cartoons. I also don't
watch much "adult" TV, somehow I don't understand most of
that either. I watch the Price Is Right every now and then. I
also watch Supernanny sometimes, but I will tell you, I end up
empathizing more with the children on Supernanny than with
Supernanny or with the parents. I disagree about some of the ways that Supernanny or the parents choose to discipline kids.
But all in all, I don't watch much TV except cartoons and stuff
like Barney and others along that level.

When I go to amusement parks, I always end up riding on kiddy
rides, not the scary roller coasters. I can't stand roller coasters,
not even child sized roller coasters, they scare me to death, they
scare me to bits. The thing is my few friends that I have are bored
to tears when I go to an amusement park with them because they know they are never going to get me on a roller coaster or anything scary. For example: my favorite ride in Disneyland (although I haven't been there for 20 years) is the Mad Hatter's
Tea Cups. It was always my favorite, even when I couldn't
speak at age 3 1/2 years old. I have memories of myself at
3 1/2 years old, crying because my mom wanted me to leave the
Teacup, and I didn't want to go. Strangely, I even remembered the clothes I was wearing, and the shoes I was wearing too!! !
I have a good memory. I remember as far back as to when I
was 2 1/2 years old...I know some normal people who can't
remember when they were 5 even.

I can't hold a job at all, because I'm like a 4 1/2 year old. I
get up and walk around after 20 minutes or 30 minutes, because that is all I can settle down for. And then, I end up talking to
coworkers or bothering them, distracting them from what they
are supposed to be doing. When I last wrote here (I don't write on bulletin boards that much), I was mentioning possibly getting a
master degree at Louisiana Tech University and teaching
community college level history. That option is totally out. I have
never been a good student, and even when I try my hardest, I
can't get higher than a 3.0 GPA. Most universities will not even
admit you to a master degree program unless you have a GPA
higher than 3.0. There are some colleges in the South, like Louisiana Tech that will allow you to get in with less than a 3.0
(a 2.5 GPA is okay), but once you get in, you CANNOT drop below a 3.0 GPA or you will expelled from the MA program. I have also
tried to find a job for many many years, even volunteered at
places like Triple A (AAA - American Automobile Association),
and college libraries, and so forth. Nothing ever happened.
I won't even get interviewed to work in a friggin supermarket!! !
With my autism, I would say it's harder having Autism than
Down Syndrome. I am actually high functioning Autism, as I
didn't speak till age 4, versus Asperger's.

Anyway, with no job in the future anywhere, I figure why the
heck should I waste my time?? I'm going to just collect
Supplemental Security Income (SSI) as I do right now - I get
$658 a month. Once I get Social Security Disabliity in 3 years,
hopefully I will get enough to move out, and then I am going
to probably reside in Orlando, Florida, and get an annual
passport to Walt Disney World (if you are a Florida resident
you can get a passport for about $350 a year, which is not bad
at all). Thing is, I need a girlfriend to enjoy it with. Basically,
I need to find a girlfriend who is like a 4 1/2 year old and that
is not going to be easy in the slightest.

Continued in next note......

Thanks
Preston

You clearly like to write, there are plenty of non-traditional jobs you can do on the Internet - earning $1,000 a month is not that hard if you focus on skills, etc. Working at home is a real option, I've done it for 10 years. Instead of going to school, learn to be productive by spending 6 months mapping out all the possible home-based careers. You can learn many for free with effort. There are Open Source software projects, forums like this, etc.

you say 'you need a girlfriend' - how about just a FRIEND. You may never find a lasting girlfriend... I think by age 33 you should have some idea of that. Learn to love and get along with yourself before you focus on a girlfriend. Divinity is inside of yourself, just like all of nature. You seem to be treating women as objects to purchase and serve your will. Not the way to go.

It sounds like you have other problems too besides AS because of your difficulty with comprehending shows and doing work in school. I have a learning disability too so it made school really hard for me so I had to have my work modified so I can do it. I still did normal school work except it was made easier for me. If it weren't for that, I would have failed high school and gotten held back. I probably would have dropped out anyway going "Screw London" because school would have been so much stressful and putting all that stress on me about me not getting my work done because it's so dang hard.


I am also a child at heart but my ex hated it. I still watch teen shows and older kid shows sometimes. My favorite TV shows are South Park and The Simpsons. I find South Park hard to understand but is it not supposed to make sense? After all the show is dumb and I think it's meant to be that way. At least The Simpsons make more sense. I also like Life After People, my favorite documentary and series.


I can't stand Barney because there is something about that dinosaurs that drives me up the wall. I can't even have the show on for five minutes without my mind going bonkers inside after hearing his voice. I like Teletubbies though. I used to watch the shows on PBS but they aren't on anymore except for Curious George and Clifford the Big Red Dog. But they are just repeats so I don't watch them that much. I love The Care Bears and Strawberry Shortcake and Arthur.


Finding a job is tough. I have tried in Montana looking for work so no such luck so it was a fortunate one person decided to try me so she hired me and I did find the job to be stressful because we get so busy but I didn't tell anyone it was getting too much because I knew if I told them, they would let me go and I wanted to have a job so bad. I tried finding work again here in Portland in the past when things slowed down at my current job but no such luck. There was one place that was taking anyone but it was a sales thing and you make money for selling products and I thought no thanks and backed out of it. They don't pay you for trying to sell products and don't pay for your gas so I thought "forget it." I might have to go for the company my bf is working for that is for people with disabilties so I can get a full time job. Better than not having one or hardly working and continuing collecting unemployment. But things are supposed to pick up again in July unless people decide to cancel their room reservations.

Is there any services in your area that help people with disabilities get jobs? From your post, it sounds like you do want to work and be independent but can't because of your struggle in school and the fact no place will hire you or call for an interview. So the last place I would go to is the place for people with disabilities that help them get work. Better than not working. I might have to do that myself.

Why Louisiana Tech? I have to ask since you live in California. I live near Louisiana Tech. It's located in a small college town about 45 minutes east of where I live.

EDIT: Nevermind I read it again. Sorry, ADHD.

DUDE! Please do not start three new threads when all you had to do was write 2 replies to the first thread.

Toby,

I wrote 2 messages because if I wrote all that in just one, it
would NOT have posted all of it. I have tried that in the past, a few years ago, and I had to seperate my long note, because it would only take half of what I wrote and post it on the Wrongplanet board. Sorry if it bothers you. Try to write a long note on Wrongplanet and it will do that to you.

And no, who said I'm trying to control a girl?? That's totally
ridiculous. If I ever have a girlfriend or a wife, I don't even
expect her to cook!! All I want is a playmate. Dang it, why
must everything I say be taken out of context and thrown
into something else??

And don't call me DUDE!!

Preston

Well here's the problem:

You're a man.

Tere are autistic women out there like you and other women. odds are is that if not all, most are taken.
If you were born with a vagina you would probably already have a date.

I like to watch disney channel, i play with stuffed animals, i watch disney movies in spanish like bambi, and I am differnt. there are probably girls out there like me but the odds of me finding one is very low. And the girls who are like me may not even find me attractive, although i am physically attractive, they may think im weird or too much like them.

You were born with a penis. So you dont really have a chance with any women. im not being a ass about this, im just telling you from my experiences. I also saw your other thread and I waitch those shows.

An autistic woman can get away with that, but not an autistic man. But there are autistic couples that are strange and get together. Even if there are women out there that dont care about your eccentricities , what are the odds of you ever finding them. And alot are already in relatioships.

I'm not trying to bring your hopes down but i wanna be "real" and not BS you. I would love to have an autistic girlfriend who watches sesame street and all that good stuff. If i were an autisic girl would I feel the same? probably or probably not. i would think like a girl because i am a girl. Im a guy though so, but autistic men think alittle different than guys, just slightly different as you can see.

You can PM me and we can talk some stuff over if you're interested. Go for any girl you want, but if she's a b***h, then stay away from her.

my answer to your overall questiopn is NO. because women arent openminded in selecting men

Since you seem to enjoy kiddie things, I think maybe you should go into studying early child development or child psychology instead of teaching history. If a certain subject(s) interests you enough you might find yourself doing academically well than expected. You know, work with what you like and such.

You are doing it again, setting expectations on a person you haven't even met yet.

P.S. you can post REPLIES to your first message to add to the first, just like I've done several REPLIES to this single thread. I suggest you do more study on the meaning of the worlds "topic" and "thread". I've been programming and operating forums since 1986. I'm not just giving you useless solutions to something you obviously needed a pointer on.

Last edited by TobyZ on 25 May 2009, 6:16 am, edited 1 time in total.

I'm thinking the same basic thing here. Your best bet is to just focus on enjoying your own life and a woman may or may not come into your life. The reality for many is that in today's society the women have the pick of men they want. Good or bad, right now it seems women would rather be alone than with a 'problem man'. Not having income and independence is not considered much fun.

Even if you were good looking and charming, meeting someone is only half the battle. Love is sorrow. From the year 1200: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tristan_and_Iseult "I have another world in mind which together in one heart bears its bitter-sweet, its dear sorrow, its heart's joy, its love's pain, its dear life, its sorrowful death, its dear death, its sorrowful life."
— Gottfried von Strassburg, prologue to Tristan, 1210 - this is no longer the society of arranged marriage.

TobyZ- by age 33, you say I should have knowledge that I
will never find a girlfriend?? WHAT?? What are you talking about??
And why do you think I'm trying to control women?

This is what you said:
"you seem be treating women as objects to purchase and serve your will. Not the way to go.".

WHEN WAS THERE ANYTHING WRONG about finding a girlfriend
that was similar to you?? If you have nothing similar or nothing
you have in common, your relationship is not going to last,
believe me. Did I say I wanted a girl to cook for me and to be
at my beck and call??? I never said anything like that. I don't
expect anything out of my playmate/wife/girlfriend. In fact,
probably a lot of women would want to be like her. How am
I controlling? I've had two girlfriends in the past, one with
Down Syndrome, and one was normal, and I NEVER ever was
controlling. You are assuming something that isn't even true.
Before you go and judge someone, know more about someone
before you come to a ridiculous conclusion like that. A FRIEND
you say?? That's what I am looking for. I'm looking for more
of a playmate than a sexual partner or girlfriend or wife or
anything. I just want someone to have fun with, and enjoy some
of the things that I like. Maybe someone who is developmentally
or socially/emotionally like a 4 year old. Is that so wrong,
from my condition I am in right now??? Yes, I could always
adopt children, but I'm single and who is going to give a child
to a single man, and secondly, children grow up. They don't
stay 4, they become 8, then 12, then 16 and then 24, so it
would only be a temporary solution. Yes, I could have fun
with them temporarily but it wouldn't be a permenent thing.
I treat everyone with respect, girls, toddlers, children, elderly
people, and it's unfortunate that you come to some conclusion
that you have drawn. I treat children like how they would like
to be treated. Some parents don't even know how to be good
parents, I've seen children as young as 2 years old spanked
and hit for the most minor reasons there are. If I had a little
boy or little girl, I would never spank my child. I would always
reason with him or her, and I would try to treat them like
an adult would want to be treated. If I had a little boy and you
laid your hand on him and smacked him, I would give you
an ass whoopin, believe me. Or I'd banish you for ever
seeing him again. I can't stand people who are cruel to
animals, children, or elderly people.

I've tried to make money off selling items on Ebay, but that
didn't work. I just don't believe I can EVER hold down a job.
All the aspergers people I know and autistic people I know
even on this Wrongplanet....out of 15 or 16 people, only
1 of them has a job, and he gets about as little as I get in
Supplemental Security Income, as a cashier at Office Depot.
With that meager amount, why even bother to work??

Spokane Girl - I have ADHD in addition to my autism. That
has made me unable to keep any job. I can't keep a job
the way I am. It just isn't going to work.

Raised by Ignorance - I have tinkered with the possibility
of working with children in a daycare center or preschool.
The problem is that I'm afraid (like some other men)
that I will be accused innocently of child molestation.
This makes a whole lot of men not become preschool
teachers because of this. So that, in the end, all there is
working in preschools are people that don't really care
about their job. My 5 year old cousin was in a daycare when
she was 2 1/2, and she didn't get her diaper changed for
[b]8 HOURS or 7 HOURS!! !![/b]. I am so dead
serious. Needless to add, she never went back to that daycare
center again...her mom took care of her. I have a 5 year old
cousin even though I'm 33, because my uncle had 3 marriages,
2 of which didn't produce children, so he had his first child
at age 55 and he's 60 now (his wife is 47 or 48, from
the Czech Republic). Anyway, a lot of males are scared from
working in preschools. I thought about teaching high school
history, but I was a substitute teacher in high school for
4 months back in 2002, and they just tortured me every
time. If you are a substitute teacher, you are on a hitlist.
My other aunt, who was a 7th grade teacher, told me I wasn't
going to like sub teaching, and she was damn right!! And when
I told her I thought about teaching preschool, she said "You're
going to be accused of being a pedophile". It's sad that because
of the actions of a few people that are mean and nasty (pedophiles), then everyone else has to suffer for it (including
my not teaching preschool). Not that I judge them. I don't
judge anyone, because no one has never committed a sin.
I only judge people who are judgemental themselves. As
Jesus said "Let whoever is without sin cast the first stone", and
no one could do it. I'm a Catholic Christian and I try hard not
to judge others, even if they are jerks.

I have a friend that is a girl that I have known since kindergarten in 1981. She was my first friend in kindergarten, her name is
Jenny. She has known me all my life. She now lives 100 miles
from where I live, but she is getting her Special Education
credential and knowing me all my life, I was actually the
inspiration for her to go into Special Ed. She knew something
was wrong with me, that I was developmentally disabled,
even in kindergarten when she was only 5 years old. Anyway,
one time I talked to her about teaching preschool and then
I told her (becauss she had been a preschool aide too in the
past) that I was not going to be a preschool teacher because
I was afraid I might be accused wrongly of child molestation.
She said "I'm so glad you realize this, Preston". She will
work with autistic people the rest of her life, and people who
are developmentally disabled. She has a early childhood
education BA degree, so now she's going to get her Sp.
Ed. credential. At least my life inspired someone else's life,
I guess

Well, I guess I will be on SSI, and then SSDI, the rest of my life, always a drain on society. I am not going to ever be able to have
a job. It's sad, but that's just the way things will end up being;
it's not my fault.

Preston

I know that this may be a little late, but why don't you ask her out?

I won't mind having a girl like that, as she sounds really sweet and innocent, as it happens I know a one or two girls who are like that (no they aren't bimbos they have AS) although I'd have to keep things 'simple' for her ie, no sex until she felt ready (or horny) for it, and when chatting to her try to think of her as a girlfriend and daughter all rolled into one (but not in a peado way)

I think, that I'd get on best with a girl who was just a little less 'able' than I am, and if I felt like I needed her to look nice (but she happened not to) all I'd have to do is give her a few pointers here and there, an incentive to do herself up in the mornings, and poof away she goes, one hot girlfriend.

My ex GF (sadly we broke up lately) was a little like the girl that you've written about and we got on very well, I don't know about you (as I'm yet to read all of the posts that have been put up on this matter) but I think that sometimes it's quite nice to have a less 'mature' partner if you have AS (or any other condition) as I once tried going out with a girl who was a lot more (at the time anyway as this was quite a while back, since then I've matured a LOT) more 'able' than I was and it did not work, so I found that I get on better with girls who 'look up' to me rather than ones of which I spend all my time in 'worship' of.

Needless to say I'm only speaking from my own experience, and you are a much better judge than I with regards to your own life, but it just an idea...

Just an idea that may work...

Late? The thread was a year and a half ago and the OP hasn't even posted on WP in over a year!