Aerith
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Feb 20, 2008
Age: 25
Posts: 74
Location: NYC
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 Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2011 12:58 am Post subject: |
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| richardbenson wrote: | How am I contradicting myself? yes a homosexual is one who is inlove with the same sex, what I am saying is if you are a homosexual
(a true one :wink: ) you wouldnt be attracted to a boy who acts like a girl, and vice versa. |
According to the dictionary definition (the one I gave is equivalent to nearly every other dictionary definition one would find) the true homosexual would be attracted to men who have the male genitalia, regardless of whether they act like what you think a man should act like or not. A true gay guy would be attracted to the femmy man as well.
| richardbenson wrote: | | I know what gender is dude give me a break, you're thinking of transgenderd people. (wich can be homosexual) but i'm saying a true homo isnt a woman trapped in a mans body or a man trapped in a womans body. also i've seen very masculine guys like dudes like themselves and very girly girl girls all up on girl. |
I'm arguing that a gay man who acts effeminate is not necessarily transgendered. Out of the dozens of effeminate gay men I've known, I only know of one who actively felt wrong in her body. The rest are happy with having a male body and the respective genitalia. They're not women trapped in male bodies.
| richardbenson wrote: | | you dont have to be a person with the wrong parts inlove, you can have the same parts and be totally in love thats my definition of homosexuality |
Cool, but your definition is, admittedly a minority. It's also rather...vague.
| richardbenson wrote: | | I know, so black and white! but its the only way i roll |
It's not the only way if you put some effort into being open-minded. It's not that difficult.
Aside from that, even if you refuse to be open-minded, please, at least try not to be offensive in your ignorance. You won't make many friends at that way... |
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richardbenson
Fire Agate
Joined: Oct 31, 2006
Posts: 14425
Location: Leave only a footprint behind
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| Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2011 1:20 am Post subject: |
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A true gay guy would be attracted to a femmy guy just because he has the same parts? how about no. well, i can only speak for myself
(i'm bisexual and i find femminie guys unattractive as all hell) so where does this leave your opinion now?
leave a message after the tone. beep...
that and i'm very open minded. so dont worry about my replys on here. if they were offensive or out of line i'm shure i'd hear about it
I havent made friends kissing ass or being myself. so now i just dont care, 
i'm confidant (i hope before i passaway, someone will really enjoy my company however.)
_________________
Winds of clarity. a universal understanding come and go, I've seen though the Darkness to understand the bounty of Light |
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visagrunt
Polymath
Joined: Oct 17, 2009
Age: 45
Posts: 5754
Location: Vancouver, BC
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| Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2011 1:44 pm Post subject: |
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| richardbenson wrote: | A true gay guy would be attracted to a femmy guy just because he has the same parts? how about no. well, i can only speak for myself
(i'm bisexual and i find femminie guys unattractive as all hell) so where does this leave your opinion now? |
At what point did we ever agree on the definitioin of a, "true gay guy?"
I think it is highly presumptuous to lay out rules about what does and does not qualify as "truly gay." As far as I am concerned, if you are sexually attracted primarily to people of the same sex, then you are a homosexual. If you life your life within the context of your homosexual orientation (i.e. no hiding behind a cover marriage with a woman), then you qualify as gay.
It does not matter a whit whether the men that you are attracted to are twinks, drag queens, femmes, leathermen, bears, cubs, gym bunnies, show queens or just the boy next door. Your attraction to men is, perforce, going to be different from mine, and each of ours is going to be different from the gay man down the street. Each of us is just as much a, "true gay guy," as the next one.
| Quote: | leave a message after the tone. beep...
that and i'm very open minded. so dont worry about my replys on here. if they were offensive or out of line i'm shure i'd hear about it
I havent made friends kissing ass or being myself. so now i just dont care,
i'm confidant (i hope before i passaway, someone will really enjoy my company however.)
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I would be happier if your claim to open mindedness were backed up with statements of opinion that reflected open mindedness.
I do not for a moment suggest that there is anything wrong with what you find attractive and what you find unattractive. But I do suggest that there is something wrong when you call into question the validity of what other men find attractive by suggesting that those men are not, "true gay guys."
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richardbenson
Fire Agate
Joined: Oct 31, 2006
Posts: 14425
Location: Leave only a footprint behind
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| Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2011 2:00 pm Post subject: |
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I wasnt looking for anyone to agree with me on any definition dude. i was expressing my opinion on what i think true ghey really is and sombody had a flipout over it, thats all.
i think alot more people would be accepting of homosexuals is they werent so far out there with there awful getup.
i guess i'm just not a scene whore and dont understand the whole "culture" of it all
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Winds of clarity. a universal understanding come and go, I've seen though the Darkness to understand the bounty of Light |
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Zen
Phoenix
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Joined: Nov 11, 2010
Posts: 1868
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| Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2011 4:55 pm Post subject: |
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I'm about as far from a scene whore as you can get, but I don't feel that I'm more or less gay than anyone else who is attracted to males (except perhaps those who are also attracted to women  ). |
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Julia_the_Great
Deinonychus
Joined: Feb 18, 2008
Age: 18
Posts: 313
Location: New England
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| Posted: Thu Jul 14, 2011 10:08 pm Post subject: |
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Who doesn't? I really wish I didn't have trouble with people not believing me when I come out because I like some girly things.
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Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
Dalai Lama |
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Melpomene
Raven
Joined: Aug 06, 2011
Age: 24
Posts: 119
Location: Veldhoven, The Netherlands
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| Posted: Sun Aug 07, 2011 4:09 am Post subject: |
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I dislike the gay stereotype and people who adhere to it on purpose. A friend of a friend is an out of the closet gay male and he speaks in a very effeminate voice and is always flipping his hair back. However, when he's had a couple of drinks, his voice drops a whole octave and leaves his hair alone. I wonder why he feels he has to put on an act of sorts - we accept and respect his sexuality either way, and he doesn't need to convince us.
What I hate even more is the bias against people who sometimes act in a stereotypically gay way or have 'gay' interests. Take my boyfriend, who wears skinny jeans and decorative scarves and calls all of his friends 'sweetheart'. You wouldn't believe how many people have asked me if I know I'm dating a gay guy, and when he's going to come out of the closet (FYI: He did several years ago, as bisexual). They don't seem to realise how hurtful that is, nor how closed-minded it makes them seem. Men especially seem to be so scared of being seen as gay that they will do anything to avoid being associated with 'gayness'. I wonder why. A bisexual man wearing skinny jeans who wants to hug you don't immediately suck you into a big gay vortex, now does it? |
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TrzkT
Hummingbird
Joined: May 06, 2011
Age: 24
Posts: 19
Location: Sacramento, Ca, USA
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| Posted: Wed Aug 24, 2011 9:54 pm Post subject: |
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I'm a fairly masculine gay male,
I think some guys are just feminine and some girls are just macho, and there are people like me somewhere in between.
I have a gay coworker, and he's completely opposite of me, he's outgoing and flamboyant lol... and I enjoy him, even though we barely understand each-other, I just appreciate it, and try to be that way with everyone.
I've never paid much attention to stereotype (unless someone is stereotyping me or someone else) , because I know these are stupid generalizations. I mean, I don't operate on stereotypes, I try to pretend they don't exist.
I would have to agree the parades and glitter and rainbows and all that kind of brings these stereotypes upon us, but it would be wrong to stifle that...imo.
I love the color gray, but I wouldn't have that in the place of the rainbow flag.
In a way, the wildness does strike a contrast to lgbt people in their daily lives, that I think could probably be beneficial to us as a minority.... perhaps...
Maybe gay pride is partly a show put on to get a rise out of the sourpusses that want to get upset about it? *shrugs*
anyways, I hate stereotypes, they really suck,
but I do think a lot of people are changing their opinions of lgbt people, and there is nothing wrong with a guy being flamboyant or a girl being macho, people are themselves and should be that way.
I do know when I see someone wearing a rainbow, it really brightens my day.
just my thoughts
somewhat random, somewhat relevant |
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DiabloDave363
Phoenix
Joined: May 17, 2008
Age: 19
Posts: 647
Location: New England
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| Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2011 1:11 pm Post subject: |
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im straight and i bought a scarf the other day...and not for the cold, i just think it looks good on me. stereotypes suck. i mean, one day i wore brown cutoff shorts and a tight purple shirt. my dad and sister said i look gay. it reallllly hurt, not tht they called me gay, but tht they just said tht in the first place...
PIC OF MY SCARF  |
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AstroGeek
Phoenix
Joined: Jan 29, 2011
Age: 19
Posts: 1477
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| Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2011 4:38 pm Post subject: |
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| richardbenson wrote: | I wasnt looking for anyone to agree with me on any definition dude. i was expressing my opinion on what i think true ghey really is and sombody had a flipout over it, thats all.
i think alot more people would be accepting of homosexuals is they werent so far out there with there awful getup.
i guess i'm just not a scene whore and dont understand the whole "culture" of it all |
I don't see what qualifies you to set standards for what is "truly gay." Nor anyone else. It is not some society where one must perform some ritual before each meeting, or a political party where one must agree with the 10 Founding Principles. It is being attracted to someone of the same sex and being able to live with it (I am paraphrasing visagrunt's definition here, because I think it's a good one). Although personally I do not find really effeminate guys attractive, I have no problem with those that do. That would be as ridiculous as me (a musical theatre lover) having a problem with someone who loves Cats (which I think is stupid and plotless) and saying that they're not true musical fans because the show they really like doesn't have a story to it and shouldn't qualify as theatre.
And why should homosexuals have to conform to societal norms to be accepted? If we did that then we'd all be in the closet. Really, that thinking is actually kind of sexist (this is an academic point--not an accusation). It shows an expectation for people to follow traditional gender roles. Men shouldn't be allowed to be flamboyant or dress up because it goes against what is seen as normal for a man to do? Perhaps this reaction just reflects my tendency to discard pragmatism in favour of ideals--I don't see why anyone should have to conform to social standards and expectations (unless they'd somehow be hurting someone--after all, we want people to all follow the same rules of the road). I'd reply to your statement that what we need to change are society's expectations to get acceptance, rather than change the people who are trying to be accepted.
And by the way, I do not really fit any of the stereotypes you mention, so am not saying this out of self-defence. I am not overly masculine, but certainly not feminine. I spend as little time as possible choosing my clothes, never buy any expensive clothing (it goes on my list of "frivolous" things) unless it's expensive because it's made to last, half the time forget to comb my hair in the morning, have a very traditional taste in décor, am extremely into science, and am fairly introverted (like to call myself an opinionated introvert). About the only way that I fit gay stereotypes is that I love show tunes. And ABBA, which isn't normal for a straight guy. Oh, and I'm extremely neat, but that comes more from my AS and a borderline obsessive compulsive personality than anything. I might not be anything like a gay stereotype, and they might not be people I'd be well matched to be best friends with, but that doesn't mean I think less of them. |
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