Can you tell when someone is staring at you?

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AdamAutistic
Snowy Owl

Joined: May 02, 2012
Posts: 166
Location: Rhode Island

Posted: Sat May 12, 2012 9:36 am Post subject:

i can feel when somebody is looking at me.

StarTrekker
Phoenix
Phoenix

Joined: Apr 23, 2012
Age: 20
Posts: 542
Location: Starship Voyager, somewhere in the Delta quadrant

Posted: Tue May 22, 2012 3:09 am Post subject:

Yes, typically I can feel when someone's eyes are on me, or at least looking in my direction, and it's fairly unnerving. My theory of mind is bad enough though that often I forget that other people can feel when I'm staring at them too, so I study them while they're not looking, then get awkwardly surprised when they look up and catch me staring! _________________ "Scotty, one to beam out!" - Captain Kirk "Survival is insufficient" - Seven of Nine "Not fare well, but fare forward, voyagers." T.S Eliot (quoted by Captain Janeway)

izzeme
Phoenix
Phoenix

Joined: Apr 05, 2011
Age: 26
Posts: 1110

Posted: Tue May 22, 2012 4:27 am Post subject:

usually, yes i can. however, only if the starers attention is also at me, i wont realise if someone is merely staring in my direction. a weirder thing, however, is that i also seem to be able to draw eyes to me; if i'm waiting for something, idling (say: a grocery store register or a traffic light), i often realise that people will turn their heads to me, even if they are fully turned away from me, if i focus my attention to them... off-note, i did also see the trough the wormhole about the morfic field, it sounded strangely 'right' to me when i saw it, just like aspergers felt like 'me' when i first read about it, before my dianosis...

vanhalenkurtz
Phoenix
Phoenix

Joined: May 10, 2012
Posts: 519

Posted: Tue May 22, 2012 5:11 am Post subject:

MrXxx wrote:

Yes. Yes I can. And I'd appreciate it if you'd knock it off!

Ditto.
_________________
ASQ: 45. RAADS-R: 229.
BAP: 132 aloof, 132 rigid, 104 pragmatic.
Aspie score: 173 / 200; NT score: 33 / 200.
EQ: 6.

Joe90
Phoenix
Phoenix

Joined: Feb 24, 2010
Posts: 8417
Location: Great Britain

Posted: Tue May 22, 2012 2:21 pm Post subject:

I can feel when people are staring at me, but also when they are staring in my direction too (possibly because I'm so paranoid). Someone's only got to turn their head towards me and I immediately think they are staring at me (and feel it too), then when I glance at them I notice they are just staring past me. I've found a better solution, which is to look at other people as you pass, rather than keeping your head down or your eyes away all the time. I know looking at other people can be exhausting, but I've found that trying to look away all the time is even more exhausting, and also feeling people's gaze when you're not looking at them back makes you feel more paranoid because you're constantly thinking, ''why are they looking at me for, if I'm not even looking at them???'' So I try to look at people as they pass, and I've found out a lot about what I've been missing all this time I've been anxious about it. I've found people smile more or even say hello when you look up at them, and also I've found I look more friendly and even more confident when I look up at people, and also when I've been with my friend I've spotted a few people staring at my friend as they passed and not at me, whereas if I hadn't been looking I would've probably thought they were just looking at me. Also I've got a few nice looks from handsome young men. ps - please don't doubt me on this one, like saying things like, ''oh men only look at you because you look vulnerable'' or, ''oh people are only saying hello because [''between-the-lines'' message: you're Aspie so you're probably giving them an unsettling stare] your stare is making them feel uncomfortable so they feel they have to react to it'', because that is the last thing you should say to someone who is trying to get over a soul-destroying anxiety. Not all Aspies are unaware of their actions anyway. I know I'm not, and I don't stare either, I just glance at people and move on. _________________ Real gender: Female From: East UK Age: 23

Sweetleaf
Metalhead
Phoenix

Joined: Jan 07, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 14869
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

Posted: Tue May 22, 2012 2:54 pm Post subject:

Yeah I can....though sometimes I feel like that even if no ones around, kinda creepy but whatever. _________________ It's like alice in wonderland except, my names not alice and this is the real world not a dream.

Kinme
Dinosaurlicious
Phoenix

Joined: Apr 14, 2012
Posts: 3228

Posted: Tue May 22, 2012 4:21 pm Post subject:

Yes. I can feel their eyes burn holes into me. It's kind of creepy being able to sense it and them even doing it.

Joe90
Phoenix
Phoenix

Joined: Feb 24, 2010
Posts: 8417
Location: Great Britain

Posted: Tue May 22, 2012 4:34 pm Post subject:

It's annoying when I tell this to anyone, because their first question is, ''well do you look at them?'' and when I say, ''no, I can just feel it and sense when someone is looking at me'', and then people say, ''it's just your imagination.'' But I know it's not because often when I've sensed someone was looking, I glanced at them and they were looking. But when I say that, people always say, ''they probably saw you glance at them so they glanced at you back'', but then I say, ''no, I can tell when somebody's been looking at me before I look at them''. But the answer is always, ''you're just being overparanoid about it and so interpret it the wrong way'' or, ''you need to learn that all people look at eachother, it's a natural thing.'' Hopefully the last two answers are right, maybe I am being hypersensitive or overparanoid, and I've seen people look at other people, but I always worry that people look at me for a signifficant purpose as though something's wrong. But just because I'm Aspie doesn't mean I'm unaware of my actions, I know I don't look odd or do anything unusual, and I have had honest feedback from close relatives and friends about how I look and act, and they're never complained or warned or anything like that. They often tell me that people look at me because I look and act normal and so they admire me. I just hope that's true. _________________ Real gender: Female From: East UK Age: 23

hkakashi
Butterfly

Joined: May 22, 2012
Posts: 14

Posted: Tue May 22, 2012 10:38 pm Post subject:

Hmm.. There are instances when I look up or turn my head and I find the person staring at me. Also, there were times when I randomly sing a song I like, only to hear it being played nearby. I thought I have some sort of ESP. But I also think that perhaps I hear the song subconsciously, prompting me to sing it. Afterwards, I will hear it consciously, making me think that I sang it before I heard it. I am not sure.

zombiegirl2010
Toucan
Toucan

Joined: Apr 21, 2012
Age: 34
Posts: 273
Location: edge of sanity and bliss

Posted: Tue May 22, 2012 11:19 pm Post subject:

Surfman wrote:

I sometimes used to look to the phone just before it rang

Oh me too! Except, this only seems to "work" with me with landlines. I've never had the slightest inkling with a cell phone is going to ring...it always shocks and some times scares me. shrug