Surfman
beyond human
Joined: Aug 02, 2010
Age: 50
Posts: 3938
Location: Homeward bound
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 Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2011 2:58 pm Post subject: |
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| Worms or burnt it a fire after dying first |
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edcop100
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Jun 15, 2010
Age: 25
Posts: 27
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| Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2011 4:02 pm Post subject: |
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| DreamSofa wrote: | | Quote: | | how does it all end for people with Asperger's syndrome |
Death - just like for NTs. |
"Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart." (Steve Jobs) |
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AdamDZ
Toucan
Joined: Oct 26, 2011
Age: 45
Posts: 264
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| Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2011 4:05 pm Post subject: |
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| edcop100 wrote: | | DreamSofa wrote: | | Quote: | | how does it all end for people with Asperger's syndrome |
Death - just like for NTs. |
"Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart." (Steve Jobs) |
Yes, we're all going to die, the question is when. Next week or in 30 years? |
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Angel_ryan
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 20, 2010
Age: 24
Posts: 745
Location: Ontario Canada
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| Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2011 4:16 pm Post subject: |
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| DreamSofa wrote: | | Quote: | | Many people I've met in therapy settings. |
Anecdata =/= evidence.
And, no, I'm not interested in researching this subject because your assertion is nonsense - an anonymous blog linked to Psychology Today, a rubbish pop psychology magazine, and totally without cites - is not exactly peer reviewed material that stands up to scrutiny.
And your second link states | Quote: | | autistic teenagers and adults might experience feelings of depression and may be at greater risk of suicide |
, which contradicts your assertion that | Quote: | | People who struggle with it, without a DX in adulthood often become very suicidal |
. |
I tried to kill myself on my 19th birthday because I couldn't understand why I was different and I thought I wasn't good enough to become an adult. Before that I tried at 17. There are other adults I've met in real life/talked to on here people that got their Diagnosis around their 20s because of depression and suicide attempts or thoughts. I guess you can't imagine what it's like to be an adult who can't look after them self with few or no friends. |
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Shadewraith
Sea Gull
Joined: Nov 20, 2011
Age: 27
Posts: 223
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| Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2011 5:01 pm Post subject: |
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Hi Pengu1n, you and I are in the same boat. I'm 25 and I was just diagnosed a few weeks ago. I think it will end well for people like us. When I was diagnosed, it explained so much. Why I was the way I was. I wasn't bored of reading books, when I started reading adult books, my brain couldn't process the relationships between sentence fragments. I wasn't not a people person, I just had poor social skills. I wasn't weird for only having a few interests, few friends, and the inability to focus. It was just how my brain developed.
Now that I'm diagnosed, I can get help and learn the things I need to. I also refuse to use asperger's as an excuse because then I won't get better. I've heard a term for people like us on this forum. They refer to our generation as the "lost generation" because we went through our entire childhood not knowing what was wrong with us, but now that we do, we can work to turn things around.
| Pengu1n wrote: | | I was wondering though how it tends to go when you are older, and most of your "Family support" has passed on. I can not ever see myself having children or a marriage, so I do not know who will be there for me............ and I have poor self-help skills. |
I can understand why you're worried, but maybe my situation can give you some encouragement. I'm currently engaged, have friends, a job, and I had my doctor explain to my parents what I had, so they got a better understanding of it. Now, I do count myself lucky to have supportive people in my life, but there are support groups and some really caring doctors out there who can help you. Heck, people on WP here are very supportive!
| Pengu1n wrote: | | I have good "survival skills" ,but I have extremely poor "social survival skills." For instance, I am terrible at things like calling on the phone for technical help with various things, paying bills, and other types of chores and tasks that most people take for granted. I try and practice these things, but I always make mistakes, and filling out forms and things like taxes and bills and paperwork make my head spin. I worry about things like getting made homeless at age 75 because I failed to pay some tax, and the government comes to take my house and throws me on the street. |
I've had similar issues, but I made myself practice my social skills. I still suck at them, but it gets a little better. I find that, when I have to do something, especially interact with others, I make a list and itemize what I need to do or talk about. I've also had a related fear. Mine isn't necessarily being homeless, but being financially unstable, failing at school/work, and having to rely on my parents forever. Again, this is where support helps a lot.
I wish you the best of luck!
_________________
Radda Radda
Last edited by Shadewraith on Sun Nov 27, 2011 8:58 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Halligeninseln
Deinonychus
Joined: Sep 23, 2011
Age: 59
Posts: 377
Location: Central Europe
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| Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2011 5:42 pm Post subject: |
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| somerandom15 wrote: | | I think that my fate is to be the body that was found 10 months after i died. I don't really foresee any great change in my circumstances any time this lifetime, just enjoying my time the best i can and waiting for it to end really. Not that im complaining, life is pretty good, i just wish there was more. |
I was at a funeral where the parson talked about how very many people were present, adding that sometimes he conducted funerals where no-one came. At that moment I had a premonition of mine, and so it will be. |
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shrox
Phoenix
Joined: Aug 12, 2011
Posts: 3254
Location: OK let's go.
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| Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2011 6:09 pm Post subject: |
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| I will swell and glow bright red, eventually consuming the planets that revolve about me as I begin burning helium and heavy metals for fuel. Finally I will cast off shells of hot gas and stellar dust, revealing an intensely glowing nuclear core, incredibly dense and on the verge of winking out of this universe entirely. |
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CockneyRebel
Mick Avory, Sensitive brown-eyed Sweet Pea
Joined: Jul 18, 2004
Age: 38
Posts: 87222
Location: In a quiet and peaceful garden, where gentle Mick Avory-like Sweet Peas grow.
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edcop100
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Jun 15, 2010
Age: 25
Posts: 27
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| Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2011 8:53 pm Post subject: |
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| shrox wrote: | | I will swell and glow bright red, eventually consuming the planets that revolve about me as I begin burning helium and heavy metals for fuel. Finally I will cast off shells of hot gas and stellar dust, revealing an intensely glowing nuclear core, incredibly dense and on the verge of winking out of this universe entirely. |
Haha, this is hilarious. Most epic way to go ever... |
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Pengu1n
Snowy Owl
Joined: Nov 03, 2011
Age: 29
Posts: 134
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| Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2011 12:02 am Post subject: |
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I was diagnosed at age 24, and if anyone is truly one of the "lost generation" of in-betweeners, it is I. I think I've had the opportunity to see the best and worst of it.
I had a terrible adolescence and early adulthood, growing up undiagnosed...... however, I think those experiences toughened me up physically and mentally in a way I would not have been had I been yanked out of the herd when I was young and quarantined as a "special" child.
I think perhaps I would have had more opportunities and more early support, but I don't think I would have been the same person, and I would have lost alot of the "edge" I feel I have today. In my school district, kids with AS are now almost totally isolated and grow up in kind of a cocoon associating mainly with other kids who have "problems." I see them where they are sequestered off in the room with some other kids with "behavioral problems"....... there's no real academic challenge, and it sets up the perfect situation of bully and patsy with a naive AS kid interacting with a street-thug NT goon. I'm thankful I did not have to go through that as I would have exploded having to associate with such a crowd....... no offense to the "special" type of child, but I would have gone crazy with that low level of mental stimulation and those low expectations.
I was expected to completely function as an NT growing up....... not only that, my situation in my hyper-overacheiver family had them expect me to dramatically excel over my peers. I tested as gifted when I was very young, so incredibly high expectations were thrust on me.
I think on the whole I came out better being hammered and ground down as a boy. I think I would have been a much weaker person as I had been diagnosed as a boy...... coddled, isolated, with no expectations. Now, things are different. |
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Ai_Ling
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 16, 2010
Age: 24
Posts: 1835
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| Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2011 1:12 am Post subject: |
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Sorry I did not read this thread. But I was diagnosed when I was 18, my parents decided not to accept the diagnosis until I ended up in the hospital a year later. To answer your question: basically feeling inadequate, having expectations put on you that are too much for you, seeing your peers in some sorta social jungle and feeling very lost. With all of that, having no(or a false) answer to why things are like this. Feeling like a loser, freak, weirdo, and eventually going down the path of becoming suicidal.
_________________
Your Aspie score: 94 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 101 of 200
You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits
AQ: 33
Borderline aspie here |
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Antreus
Blue Jay
Joined: May 06, 2011
Age: 26
Posts: 84
Location: Seattle
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| Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2011 4:38 am Post subject: |
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| Angel_ryan wrote: | | DreamSofa wrote: | | Quote: | | Many people I've met in therapy settings. |
Anecdata =/= evidence.
And, no, I'm not interested in researching this subject because your assertion is nonsense - an anonymous blog linked to Psychology Today, a rubbish pop psychology magazine, and totally without cites - is not exactly peer reviewed material that stands up to scrutiny.
And your second link states | Quote: | | autistic teenagers and adults might experience feelings of depression and may be at greater risk of suicide |
, which contradicts your assertion that | Quote: | | People who struggle with it, without a DX in adulthood often become very suicidal |
. |
I tried to kill myself on my 19th birthday because I couldn't understand why I was different and I thought I wasn't good enough to become an adult. Before that I tried at 17. There are other adults I've met in real life/talked to on here people that got their Diagnosis around their 20s because of depression and suicide attempts or thoughts. I guess you can't imagine what it's like to be an adult who can't look after them self with few or no friends. |
I can see what DreamSofa is saying, because you don't want to give in to a confirming bias, but it does not mean that you cannot infer based upon your own subjective experience and the experiences of others that those whom struggle with the same neurological difference. Correlation does not always equal causation.
Anecdotal evidence can be just as valid as the verity of the quantifiable. I see people misread statistics all the time. Likewise, qualitative evidence is a lot of what Psychology is [from what I know] and in the end it is a professional giving their subjective opinion on the criteria for any given DSM, with their own potential biases.
I think there is something to say about anecdotal when many posts I read are of people with AS feeling guilt or any other depraved emotion because they haven't become adults the way they envisioned when they were a lot younger, like their parents. Feeling a bit lost is the norm here, wrong planet. |
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Halligeninseln
Deinonychus
Joined: Sep 23, 2011
Age: 59
Posts: 377
Location: Central Europe
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| Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2011 9:32 am Post subject: |
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| Pengu1n wrote: | I was diagnosed at age 24, and if anyone is truly one of the "lost generation" of in-betweeners, it is I. I think I've had the opportunity to see the best and worst of it.
I had a terrible adolescence and early adulthood, growing up undiagnosed...... however, I think those experiences toughened me up physically and mentally in a way I would not have been had I been yanked out of the herd when I was young and quarantined as a "special" child.
I think perhaps I would have had more opportunities and more early support, but I don't think I would have been the same person, and I would have lost alot of the "edge" I feel I have today. In my school district, kids with AS are now almost totally isolated and grow up in kind of a cocoon associating mainly with other kids who have "problems." I see them where they are sequestered off in the room with some other kids with "behavioral problems"....... there's no real academic challenge, and it sets up the perfect situation of bully and patsy with a naive AS kid interacting with a street-thug NT goon. I'm thankful I did not have to go through that as I would have exploded having to associate with such a crowd....... no offense to the "special" type of child, but I would have gone crazy with that low level of mental stimulation and those low expectations.
I was expected to completely function as an NT growing up....... not only that, my situation in my hyper-overacheiver family had them expect me to dramatically excel over my peers. I tested as gifted when I was very young, so incredibly high expectations were thrust on me.
I think on the whole I came out better being hammered and ground down as a boy. I think I would have been a much weaker person as I had been diagnosed as a boy...... coddled, isolated, with no expectations. Now, things are different. |
This thing about cocooning kids with AS seems to be a phenomenon in the US. It would be interesting to know if it's the same in the UK and other countries and whether it actually helps in the long run. |
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AdamDZ
Toucan
Joined: Oct 26, 2011
Age: 45
Posts: 264
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| Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2011 9:44 am Post subject: |
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| Halligeninseln wrote: | | This thing about cocooning kids with AS seems to be a phenomenon in the US. It would be interesting to know if it's the same in the UK and other countries and whether it actually helps in the long run. |
Cocooning kids is normal in the US, all kids. Even most NT kids grow up pretty dysfunctional because of this. I mean, we're talking about a country where playgrounds get closed in fear of litigation if a kid falls off and bruises his face. |
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graywyvern
Phoenix
Joined: Aug 03, 2010
Age: 55
Posts: 516
Location: texas
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| Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2011 2:04 pm Post subject: |
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| Burnbridge wrote: | | AdamDZ wrote: | | One thing I have been thinking about, if everything else fails, as an option to the rather irreversible ending of one's life, [...] sell everything I own, load up a bicycle and go for a long road trip, a bicycle trek across the country and see if I can find a solution to my problems along the way, kind of a mind-reset, or find some pretty place up in the mountains to depart this world. |
That is precisely what I did a year ago. And although I've considered the mountain ending twice (seriously, literally), I'm still here. I don't know if I've found a "solution" to my problems, per se, but I have gained a lot of perspective and am more accepting of life now. The difficult part has been finding work here and there. I've been biking, and then staying in a place for a few months, trying to find money so I can go on another leg of the tour. Then biking again. |
i too took a long trip when i was 22, hitching & camping across the US. i learned a lot about trusting myself & it was easier to deal with people one-on-one than in exacting social constructs. also, from having lived poor, i do not fear losing everything since i know what it is like & that it can be survived.
our society in general does not provide for its citizens well, & especially for the elderly. i recommend group homes & start networking for this while you are still in an earning state. family often can't be relied upon. and again, learning now to live on little is good preparation.
_________________
"I have always found that Angels have the vanity
to speak of themselves as the only wise; this they
do with a confident insolence sprouting from systematic
reasoning." --William Blake |
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