RosieLea
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Jan 30, 2012
Posts: 34
Location: Ohio
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 Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2012 11:22 am Post subject: |
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Brohoof to OP: /)*
When I moved in with my bf, essentially leaving my entire family behind to move 150 miles away,
my grandma told me to ignore everyone's disappointment that I was leaving because your man needs to come before yourself, your family, and your children. Geez grandma.
She also said that I shouldnt feel bad for only making $600 a month at my part time job because it was my bf's job as the man to take care of me anyway.
Of course, we've still fallen into traditional gender roles because my bf is a bit of a man-child that cant take care of himself, and he does pay more of the bills than I do so I feel its only fair that I do more of the housework. (Also his cooking is atrocious.) |
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Erisad
More like Erihappy, amirite?
Joined: Jul 06, 2010
Age: 23
Posts: 13040
Location: United States
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| Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2012 11:32 am Post subject: |
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| RosieLea wrote: | Brohoof to OP: /)*
When I moved in with my bf, essentially leaving my entire family behind to move 150 miles away,
my grandma told me to ignore everyone's disappointment that I was leaving because your man needs to come before yourself, your family, and your children. Geez grandma.
She also said that I shouldnt feel bad for only making $600 a month at my part time job because it was my bf's job as the man to take care of me anyway.
Of course, we've still fallen into traditional gender roles because my bf is a bit of a man-child that cant take care of himself, and he does pay more of the bills than I do so I feel its only fair that I do more of the housework. (Also his cooking is atrocious.) |
Brohoof. /)*(\
I don't think I'd be moving that far. I would most likely be moving 80-100 miles to wherever my bf ends up. Probably not further than where he is now. But really, grandma? Wow. That's not a healthy mentality. My grandma would be like, "and you better visit us or at least call! Don't forget how we cared for you!" Which makes more sense to me.
I probably would end up with this arrangement, I cook and he does the dishes. If he cooks, I'll do the dishes. He'll vacuum, I'll dust. He'll take out the trash and I'll get the mail and wash the windows. I feel dividing up the housework like this would make life easier for both of us.  |
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shrox
Phoenix
Joined: Aug 12, 2011
Posts: 3254
Location: OK let's go.
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| Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2012 11:45 am Post subject: |
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Keep who you are, just add the good things grandma wants you to know. Punk rock chicks can cook and sew too!
Doing the dishes together is fun I think. For chores I just did what needed to be done when I saw it. No specific regimen.
Put each other on a pedestal. |
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Erisad
More like Erihappy, amirite?
Joined: Jul 06, 2010
Age: 23
Posts: 13040
Location: United States
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| Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2012 12:15 pm Post subject: |
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| shrox wrote: | Keep who you are, just add the good things grandma wants you to know. Punk rock chicks can cook and sew too!
Doing the dishes together is fun I think. For chores I just did what needed to be done when I saw it. No specific regimen.
Put each other on a pedestal. |
Yeah. I just hate doing the dishes. I'm okay drying them though.  |
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I_Love_Lamp
Butterfly
Joined: Feb 21, 2012
Posts: 9
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| Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2012 5:28 pm Post subject: |
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| I do get pretty annoyed with the general insistence of traditional gender roles. In today's day and age, there are no practical reasons for only men to be the breadwinners and for only women to be stay-at-home parents--big muscles aren't going to make you perform better in an office environment, and I've come across many men who were perfectly capable of nurturing their children without the help of their significant other. A person's skills should be assessed on an individual basis, not in sweeping generalizations based on outdated expectations. |
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LiberalJustice
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 01, 2009
Posts: 1031
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| Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2012 8:54 pm Post subject: Re: "Wife Training" |
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Your mother sounds very old-fashioned from what I have read. Does she honestly expect you to be nothing more than a housewife? If so, don't pay any attention to her expectations. Whether you want to work or stay at home is up to you, not your mother.
_________________
"I Would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than those attending too small a degree of it."
-Thomas Jefferson
Adopted mother to a cat named Charlotte, and grandmother to 3 kittens. |
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Erisad
More like Erihappy, amirite?
Joined: Jul 06, 2010
Age: 23
Posts: 13040
Location: United States
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| Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2012 8:55 pm Post subject: Re: "Wife Training" |
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| LiberalJustice wrote: | | Your mother sounds very old-fashioned from what I have read. Does she honestly expect you to be nothing more than a housewife? If so, don't pay any attention to her expectations. Whether you want to work or stay at home is up to you, not your mother. |
I think she expects me to work AND be the perfect housewife. Good luck. |
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Keyman
Deinonychus
Joined: Feb 24, 2012
Age: 19
Posts: 399
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| Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 7:38 am Post subject: |
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Being good to cook is skill that is most useful when having kids. So the question is who will cook for them?, dad-mum-househelp?  |
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Mithos
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 22, 2012
Age: 22
Posts: 685
Location: Ponyville, Equestria.
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| Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 7:51 am Post subject: |
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This thread reminds me of YouTube. The comments there consist of. "Awefully weird looking kitchen", "WHAT SHE DOIN OUT OF DA KITCHEN?!", "GTFO And make me a SAMMUCCH" It's really getting old.
_________________
{{Certified Coffeeholic.}}
I have Severe ADHD (Diagnosed), Tics and Mild OCD. [Fully Alert, Test Retaken.]
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You are very likely an Aspie |
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Erisad
More like Erihappy, amirite?
Joined: Jul 06, 2010
Age: 23
Posts: 13040
Location: United States
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| Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 7:58 am Post subject: |
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| Keyman wrote: | | Being good to cook is skill that is most useful when having kids. So the question is who will cook for them?, dad-mum-househelp? |
Me, most likely. Unless I end up marrying a master chef, which my bf currently is not.
Mithos - I hate those jokes so much. They are old and really stupid. The fellas who say kitchen jokes want her there because clearly they don't know what to do with her in the bedroom. |
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hanyo
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 01, 2011
Posts: 3423
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| Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 8:07 am Post subject: |
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| Well if I were to ever get married (I'm not) they'll either have to cook or start liking eating lots of tv dinners, cans of soup, and ramen noodles. |
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Keyman
Deinonychus
Joined: Feb 24, 2012
Age: 19
Posts: 399
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| Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 8:19 am Post subject: |
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One can also tease these "wife-trainers" that the skills that most likely will make a difference is the ones in the bedroom. And ask if they can share any expertise in that area?  |
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Erisad
More like Erihappy, amirite?
Joined: Jul 06, 2010
Age: 23
Posts: 13040
Location: United States
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| Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 8:26 am Post subject: |
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| Keyman wrote: | | One can also tease these "wife-trainers" that the skills that most likely will make a difference is the ones in the bedroom. And ask if they can share any expertise in that area? |
I would get yelled at until the cows came home. I don't wanna open that can of worms. >.< |
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temperaryobsessor
Emu Egg
Joined: Feb 29, 2012
Posts: 8
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| Posted: Wed Feb 29, 2012 7:14 pm Post subject: |
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I don't think any of these resposes will actually help if you really believe talking to her would be ineffective but you could try telling her.
Choirs: I intend to marry somebody who loves me for me, and is not looking for a live in maid and cook.
Make a man happy: Wouldn't daddy know more about what men want in a wife.
It could be fun to say.
I don't think the fact that your making a big deal of nothing if she expects you to already be devoting a good deal of your life to somebody you have not met. |
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Erisad
More like Erihappy, amirite?
Joined: Jul 06, 2010
Age: 23
Posts: 13040
Location: United States
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| Posted: Wed Feb 29, 2012 7:25 pm Post subject: |
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| temperaryobsessor wrote: | I don't think any of these resposes will actually help if you really believe talking to her would be ineffective but you could try telling her.
Choirs: I intend to marry somebody who loves me for me, and is not looking for a live in maid and cook.
Make a man happy: Wouldn't daddy know more about what men want in a wife.
It could be fun to say.
I don't think the fact that your making a big deal of nothing if she expects you to already be devoting a good deal of your life to somebody you have not met. |
Well, I have a good relationship with my bf so far so many she thinks we'll go the distance? I dunno.
I wouldn't ask my dad what makes for a good wife...since he's going into his fourth marriage I don't think he knows either. >.< |
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