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Bananita
Emu Egg
Joined: Apr 04, 2012
Posts: 4
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 Posted: Sun Apr 15, 2012 2:57 am Post subject: Re: I love my son, but I can't stand the..... |
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| Chronos wrote: | Are you sure he is actually stimming or could he possibly have tics? If he is doing it to the extent that it is causing injury then you might consider having a consultation with a psychiatrist concerning medication for tics or obsessive movements. Until then, consider wearing ear plugs, or occupying him with a task that makes it difficult for him to clap while doing.
I would not allow his issue with school to consume your life or his. Children with AS are fairly good at learning and will often come by various academic related skills on their own. It would have been far more conducive to my personal well being had my childhood not been consumed by those same school meetings and so on, and more effort was made to engage me in activities which I had an interest in. The school system actually can't act in your child's best if that best interest is a little different than would be applicable to other children, because they are bound by certain laws. Ultimately, their goal is to follow the law, and get your son to follow it too, whether or not that has a detrimental effect on him.
Lastly, but not any less significantly, as a person with AS, I do object to your negative perception of my state of being. My troubles in this world aren't due to anything innate about myself, but relate to the perceptions and ignorance of other people. |
@Chronos: yes it's stimming. The same reviews each year he has been in school: he can talk perfectly and can read well. No comprehension in reading, or in any other areas. No focus, seems stuck in his own world, stimming all day long, and moody. he is cognitively fine, in the areas of language and decision making and some memory, depending on what he is focused on, which is usually obessions like drawing and transformers.
As you mentioned, he seems to remember everything the teacher talks about in science class, thats one subject he likes, but he can't perform on paper nor answer back anything relating to that, he just remembers, which is great, but thats where it stops.
my sons main issues are" behavioral, socially, focus and sensory.
any other subject or task completely brings him down to a very upsetting mood, and it causes mental stress which leads to meltdowns and behaviour episodes. |
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momsparky
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 27, 2010
Posts: 2733
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| Posted: Sun Apr 15, 2012 8:07 am Post subject: |
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Bananita, talk to your doctor about night terrors - they can sometimes do a "sleep study" which helps.
Night terrors are just waking dreams, they don't affect the person having them negatively (unless they fall down stairs,) but they are impacting your ability to sleep and as such should be treated. You may be more sensitive to your son's stimming because you are sleep-deprived. Mention that the night terrors are having a negative effect on the rest of the household. |
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BuyerBeware
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 29, 2011
Age: 35
Posts: 1038
Location: PA, USA
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| Posted: Thu Apr 19, 2012 4:20 pm Post subject: |
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| momsparky wrote: | Bananita, talk to your doctor about night terrors - they can sometimes do a "sleep study" which helps.
Night terrors are just waking dreams, they don't affect the person having them negatively (unless they fall down stairs,) but they are impacting your ability to sleep and as such should be treated. You may be more sensitive to your son's stimming because you are sleep-deprived. Mention that the night terrors are having a negative effect on the rest of the household. |
Yes-- Do that. Be careful about any meds they offer you-- some of them can be really dangerous, and I'd really appreciate it if you didn't fall into the trap of Medicating the Autistic for the Comfort of the NTs-- but do that. There's a fine line between "comfort" and "functionality." On one side of it, you're making a sacrifice in order to do your kid a favor. On the other side, you're making a sacrifice that ends up costing everyone too much.
Hilarious to hear an Aspie lecture anyone about fine lines, but... so it is.
Night terrors SUCK. My husband and son both have them (son thankfully seems to have "outgrown" them for now). They were a pretty much nightly thing from a little past 18 months to about 3 and 1/2. Not pretty. From DH's description, they're no picnic for the sufferer, either. Though they're probably more distressing for those that have to watch.
I hate to advocate sedating a kid in ANY way-- again, PLEASE look long and hard at any drugs they offer you, some of those things are INHUMANE-- but I had the best luck in dealing with them by feeding DS a mug of chamomile tea about half an hour before bed and putting his bed in our room.
Just outright letting him sleep with us really helped a lot-- reduced the frequency of night terrors to once every 10 to 14 days-- but that route isn't for everyone and might be a road you don't want to go down. Comes with its own problems later...
...like how in the snot I'm going to get a very anxious going-on-5-year-old out of our bed (especially in view of the fact that I was 13 before I started sleeping on my own).
_________________
I'm tired. I do not have sufficient strength remaining to persevere in the face of adversity. I accept myself as broken and conformity/compliance as the only acceptable existence. I give up.
What's on TV tonight?? |
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Cogs
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 13, 2012
Age: 21
Posts: 830
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| Posted: Fri Apr 20, 2012 6:47 am Post subject: |
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| Bananita wrote: | | right after 12am thats when his "waking up episodes" begin everyday never fails. Thanks for your comment and feedback. |
I don't know if this will help your situation, but I have had heaps of problems falling asleep and staying asleep and found the biggest help with that is melatonin, I dont know where you live but it is usually available by prescription or off the shelf. Melatonin is a naturally produced sleep hormone that essentially tells the body that it is time to sleep and keeps the body asleep at night. Melatonin taken in a slow release (not quick acting) form is for helping stay asleep, it differs fron other sleep drugs in that it is naturally produced and non-addictive. Research I looked at found no side effects of taking melatonin for a prolonged amount of time. Research I saw suggested that something like (from memory) 70-80% on the autism spectrum have inadequate melatonin production.
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No one will tell me who and what I am and can be. |
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jmorse28
Butterfly
Joined: Jan 04, 2011
Posts: 15
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| Posted: Sat Apr 21, 2012 10:57 pm Post subject: Been there...Got through it. |
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Oh sweetie!!! I wish you could have seen my son when he was 4 and see him now. I've been where you are. I cried, I blamed myself, I wondered what I did wrong during pregnancy. The difference is...I was REALLY young. I was only 24 when my son was diagnosed at 4 years old. He has Asperger's. Wouldn't speak (at least not have a conversation), no eye contact, behavior issues, stimming, would walk around his classroom in circles. It got to the point that they wouldn't let him come back to that school!
VERY long story short...that same little boy is now a remarkable 16 year old. Honor roll student in a very competitive school, has always been mainstreamed with inclusion support, has not received ANY support since 7th grade, besides being a bit lazy and having trouble making close friends, he's a wonderful young man.
My point is, it's soooo hard when they're young. You have to be very patient but be consistent, learn what the teachers and therapists do that help him and copy them at home. IT WILL GET BETTER!!! My son had TERRIBLE focus issues and we tried medication and took him off it right away because it gave him headaches. Medication makes me VERY nervous and I would not medicate my child to make it easier on his teacher. Eventually, the focus issues went away. I'd say by 5th grade. I learned that his behavior issues as a little boy were due to the fact that he didn't understand what I was saying and he didn't know how to express himself. I had to speak to him in very short sentences...almost as if he didn't speak English, in order for him to understand under his language skills developed more. If he misbehaved, I'd put my hands on my face and gasp (like the kid from Home Alone) because for some reason that would stop him dead in his tracks and he understood that he did something bad. It also helped him understand that social cue.
Stimming...that's such a tough one because now that he can explain it to me, he tells me that it basically soothes him, calms him down and relaxes him. He used to scream (drove us nuts), flapped his hands, ran around and made horse and dinosaur noises. Not fun. But they faded. Now all he does is pace in his room and talks to himself. BUT, he's aware of it so he ONLY does it in his room. NEVER in front of anyone and never in any other room but his own. It just makes him comfortable so I'm all for it. When he stimmed like crazy when he was little I would redirect him. I'd find something that he liked to do and I'd let him do it. Sometimes they just need that stimulation so find something he likes. Could even be molding clay. You just have to find things that get his attention.
Sorry this is so long but I'm trying to cover everything. I know all kids aren't the same. But I'm just trying to give you the experience from someone who's been there and now knows what it can be like when they're older. I still worry about him going off to college but so far he's come trough every change and challenge with flying colors. I'm by no means done raising him and will never be done worrying...but I think he'll be ok.
One day at a time and soon you'll start to see an amazing person develop. Once he starts coming out of his shell, you will uncover some amazing things. They ALL have something amazing about them. I actually thought my kid was DUMB before he was diagnosed!!! He's brilliant. I was told he may never be able to write. His artwork was selected every year for the regional art show. They said he couldn't understand what he was reading. He now reads about 5 books per week (he has a book obsession) and tells me every detail of every story. He actually turned me on to The Hunger Games. LOL.
What helped my son TREMENDOUSLY was Dr. Arnold Miller in Boston. He uses the Miller Method to get through to these kids and break them out from their Aspie prison. I was fortunate to have a school near me that used the Miller Method and it was life changing for my son. But I had to fight the BOE to get him in there and have them pay for it.
I hope my experiences (or my son's I should say) help you at least a little. If you need to talk...I'm more than happy to. |
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jmorse28
Butterfly
Joined: Jan 04, 2011
Posts: 15
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| Posted: Sat Apr 21, 2012 10:58 pm Post subject: |
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| Oh yes, and Melatonin works wonders and is natural. Use it myself because I have trouble falling asleep. Only thing that works for me with no side effects and my pediatrician said it was ok to give lose dose to kids when needed. |
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