Inexperienced over 40 men
hartzofspace
Supporting Member
Joined: 14 Apr 2005
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,138
Location: On the Road Less Traveled
Here's my 2 cents. I recently paired up with an Aspie guy. He has told me that he went for nearly 10 years without having sex. He found it difficult to date woman that he would eventually be drawn to intimacy with. He had even been engaged, before, but his Aspie traits turned the woman off. He passionate and sensual, and I am glad to have found him. If he had been a virgin, I would still have given him a chance, because I was attracted to him anyway. I think that this is the key. If you are genuinely attracted to a guy, and he to you, go for it. It might be just what you were looking for!
_________________
Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born.
-- Dr. Dale Turner
Here's my 2 cents. I recently paired up with an Aspie guy. He has told me that he went for nearly 10 years without having sex. He found it difficult to date woman that he would eventually be drawn to intimacy with. He had even been engaged, before, but his Aspie traits turned the woman off. He passionate and sensual, and I am glad to have found him. If he had been a virgin, I would still have given him a chance, because I was attracted to him anyway. I think that this is the key. If you are genuinely attracted
Thank you, made my day
hartzofspace
Supporting Member
Joined: 14 Apr 2005
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,138
Location: On the Road Less Traveled
Yes, and lucky for me, wasn't it? But seriously, I can see how these traits might have turned off an NT woman. He monologues about stuff, and his voice can be monotone and droning. Yet, I love his deep voice, rumbling against my ear when I am snuggling with him. And, I am usually interested in the things he is talking about. We both notice details that others don't, and that makes a bond with us.
_________________
Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born.
-- Dr. Dale Turner
Again thank you, so much nicer than "irritated me or aroused my self pity" yes yes I know you apologised though that remark really resonated with me.
I've almost recovered from my 9 year "mental" breakdown and am ready to do my You Tube would you mind looking at it before I post it I know it will help some one here eg I talk about adrenal fatigue/hormones and how debilitating hypogonadism is (low hormones)
Due to having a (undiagnosed) lobe injury (from birth) which caused damage to the pituitary gland + being savagely destroyed by NT"S my hormonal system was so exhausted I had close to none (Testosterone) it even shocked my GP he said you'd have all sorts of horrendous health problems and being *that* pathetic AS stereotype I passively aggressively said no sh*t.
Sorry I'm rambling.
Last edited by aussiebloke on 08 Dec 2009, 10:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Never. Nor anyone who paid for any of their sexual experiences. To be fair, I would not want to date a guy who has had a lot of partners, etiher.
Come to hink of it, I would love to date a 40 year old virgin. If there are any on here, feel free to
Hello
I'm 33 BTW, almost their.
hartzofspace
Supporting Member
Joined: 14 Apr 2005
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,138
Location: On the Road Less Traveled
I don't think that keeping your virginity is wrong. It is your body, after all! I have always regretted getting peer pressured into having sex before I was ready.
_________________
Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born.
-- Dr. Dale Turner
I am a 43yo man who has never been on a date, let alone had any form of relationship with a woman. That I appear "different" from other people is the major cause for this. Whilst I admire the relatively few women in the world who will give an obviously handicapped man a fair chance, such women are few and far between. This is likely the reason your guy us stilll a virgin. This is not to be confused with him not being good enough. Rather it is a matter of most women simply being too shallow and as a result, your guy has missed out. My deepest desire is that one day I will meet a lady who can see beyond the AS and see the real me. It sounds like your guy has found that in you.
Give the guy a chance and you may just find a diamond in the rough.
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I am highly in tune with my perceptions. It's reality that I haven't got a clue about.
I'm a 40yr man who has never been on a date, let alone had any form of relationship. It's definitely not my appearance, I'm simply not interested, there is so much more in life. See also asexuality.org. Asexuality is not really accepted, so I lie about my girlfriends that I have never had and I sometimes stare at good looking woman because I'm supposted to do so. If I don't do that, people think I'm gay or even bi and that can be quite annoying. Maybe I'll meet the right woman someday and became a hetrosexual, but I don't think so because I'm not even enjoying the mating-rituals required for dating.
Any guy who is in his 40's and is still a virgin is likely as Aspiue - take me for example.
I don't think you should be "concerned". It is this level of examination and suspicion that leads many an Aspie man to never have a sexual encounter. Someone has to give a guy a break. My advice for all women in the above situiation is to give the guy a chance - get to know him. You might be surprised.
_________________
I am highly in tune with my perceptions. It's reality that I haven't got a clue about.
You should ask him!
Yes, you should be concerned, he is most likely in search of this one and only one true princess, so.. forget about that one-night stand;)
And, obviously they were socially awkward, but are they socially awkward without you as well?
One needs to learn a woman's language first - wouldn't you love to guide them in?
... or take the shortcut.. getting the guy that makes you laugh and feel like a woman... and for being the next score on his 'hit-list'?
.. haha.. yes, perhaps somewhat more likely.
However, it's also more likely to be profession related, people from the army, oil-rigs, all those who worked far from home, those who did their studies first and did some faraway voluntary work, those who started their own busniness, those with little desire for sex, those in search for things beyond sex.
A 40 year old virgin is a fixer upper.
You'll have to put in work where you probably wouldn't have to with most guys.
In return you can get what you want (and not get what you don't want) assuming you have mutual interest and desires.
Honestly evaluate if you want to take the time and effort. Then, anything you decide should be valid.
Also remember that AS traits are usually not subject to being "fixed."
Very important that. Whilst I appreciate that many women are on - well intentioned - missions to improve their men, "Aspiness" is not fixable. True, you will be able to clue the guy in a litlle better but at the end of the day he will still be an Aspie.
_________________
I am highly in tune with my perceptions. It's reality that I haven't got a clue about.