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Inexperienced over 40 men Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6  Next  
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MoonRa
Blue Jay
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Joined: Dec 03, 2009
Age: 45
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 10, 2009 12:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

So I kept my virginity and is that wrong nowadays?
Why should I please a woman? What's in there for me?
I just like to be around people now and then.
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hartzofspace
Red Dragon
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 11, 2009 6:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't think that keeping your virginity is wrong. It is your body, after all! I have always regretted getting peer pressured into having sex before I was ready. Confused
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AspiRob
Deinonychus
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Joined: Mar 26, 2006
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 14, 2009 3:46 pm    Post subject: Re: Inexperienced over 40 men Reply with quote

autisticstar wrote:
Should I be concerned if a man is over 40 years old and has never had a sexual encounter? I have met and dated some men who are over 40 who said that they have never had sex before. Some of them I suspect are on the autism spectrum. They were socially awkward but not at all bad looking. I sure hope this doesn't mean that they are gay. Is this common for men on the autism spectrum? I don't mean low functioning; I am referring to men with Asperger's Syndrome or High Functioning Autism.


I am a 43yo man who has never been on a date, let alone had any form of relationship with a woman. That I appear "different" from other people is the major cause for this. Whilst I admire the relatively few women in the world who will give an obviously handicapped man a fair chance, such women are few and far between. This is likely the reason your guy us stilll a virgin. This is not to be confused with him not being good enough. Rather it is a matter of most women simply being too shallow and as a result, your guy has missed out. My deepest desire is that one day I will meet a lady who can see beyond the AS and see the real me. It sounds like your guy has found that in you.

Give the guy a chance and you may just find a diamond in the rough.
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MoonRa
Blue Jay
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 17, 2009 10:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm a 40yr man who has never been on a date, let alone had any form of relationship. It's definitely not my appearance, I'm simply not interested, there is so much more in life. See also asexuality.org. Asexuality is not really accepted, so I lie about my girlfriends that I have never had and I sometimes stare at good looking woman because I'm supposted to do so. If I don't do that, people think I'm gay or even bi and that can be quite annoying. Maybe I'll meet the right woman someday and became a hetrosexual, but I don't think so because I'm not even enjoying the mating-rituals required for dating.
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AspiRob
Deinonychus
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 24, 2009 4:52 pm    Post subject: Re: Inexperienced over 40 men Reply with quote

autisticstar wrote:
Should I be concerned if a man is over 40 years old and has never had a sexual encounter? I have met and dated some men who are over 40 who said that they have never had sex before. Some of them I suspect are on the autism spectrum. They were socially awkward but not at all bad looking. I sure hope this doesn't mean that they are gay. Is this common for men on the autism spectrum? I don't mean low functioning; I am referring to men with Asperger's Syndrome or High Functioning Autism.


Any guy who is in his 40's and is still a virgin is likely as Aspiue - take me for example.

I don't think you should be "concerned". It is this level of examination and suspicion that leads many an Aspie man to never have a sexual encounter. Someone has to give a guy a break. My advice for all women in the above situiation is to give the guy a chance - get to know him. You might be surprised.
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MoonRa
Blue Jay
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 29, 2009 1:54 pm    Post subject: Re: Inexperienced over 40 men Reply with quote

autisticstar wrote:
Should I be concerned if a man is over 40 years old and has never had a sexual encounter? I have met and dated some men who are over 40 who said that they have never had sex before. Some of them I suspect are on the autism spectrum. They were socially awkward but not at all bad looking. I sure hope this doesn't mean that they are gay. Is this common for men on the autism spectrum? I don't mean low functioning; I am referring to men with Asperger's Syndrome or High Functioning Autism.


You should ask him!
Yes, you should be concerned, he is most likely in search of this one and only one true princess, so.. forget about that one-night stand;)
And, obviously they were socially awkward, but are they socially awkward without you as well?
One needs to learn a woman's language first - wouldn't you love to guide them in?
... or take the shortcut.. getting the guy that makes you laugh and feel like a woman... and for being the next score on his 'hit-list'?


AspiRob wrote:
Any guy who is in his 40's and is still a virgin is likely as Aspiue - take me for example.


.. haha.. yes, perhaps somewhat more likely.
However, it's also more likely to be profession related, people from the army, oil-rigs, all those who worked far from home, those who did their studies first and did some faraway voluntary work, those who started their own busniness, those with little desire for sex, those in search for things beyond sex.
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Dcline1701
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Joined: Oct 21, 2009
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 01, 2010 12:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A 40 year old virgin is a fixer upper.
You'll have to put in work where you probably wouldn't have to with most guys.
In return you can get what you want (and not get what you don't want) assuming you have mutual interest and desires.

Honestly evaluate if you want to take the time and effort. Then, anything you decide should be valid.

Also remember that AS traits are usually not subject to being "fixed."
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AspiRob
Deinonychus
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 01, 2010 4:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dcline1701 wrote:
Also remember that AS traits are usually not subject to being "fixed."


Very important that. Whilst I appreciate that many women are on - well intentioned - missions to improve their men, "Aspiness" is not fixable. True, you will be able to clue the guy in a litlle better but at the end of the day he will still be an Aspie.
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n4mwd
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Joined: Jun 08, 2008
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 23, 2010 9:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Heterosexuality, homosexuality and asexuality are all valid sexual orientations. The problem is that asexuality tends to be the loneliest.

As an aspie, I have a problem living with other people, but yet I still dislike being totally alone. In the decade after high school, I watched as I lost all my friends to their respective spouses. I mean, we didn't become enemies or anything like that, but they gradually stopped wanting anything to do with me in favor of their new wife/husband.

One of my friends was not amused when I expressed my disapproval of him marrying a lardbucket. Of all my friends, he was exceptionally good looking and I felt that he deserved way better. I hadn't spoken to him in years, but I did see him about 5 years ago. He was still married to the same lardbucket and their son had joined the army.

One thing that I do find puzzling is that people make assumptions about me and my sex life. I have heard all sorts of things. Even a rumor in school that I had gotten a girl pregnant. None of which is true because I don't have a sex life. But yet people seem to assume that I do and that I'm some kind of pervert or something.

Are other guys having similar trouble?
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ToughDiamond
Phoenix
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Joined: Sep 16, 2008
Age: 61
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 25, 2010 11:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'd probably view it as grounds for suspicion, I'd wonder why they hadn't ever had sex in all that time, and I'd wonder if there was something very undesirable about them that I hadn't discovered yet, but I'd keep an open mind. A friend of mine didn't find a girlfriend for many years, and when asked why not, he said that he hadn't found anybody worthy of him yet. It's an unusual trait in a man but I found it rather refreshing. I must say that although I looked as if I was "doing better," none of it did me any good. Meanwhile he finally picked one he liked and they're still happily married as far as I know.

Though it's hard for me to see it from a woman's point of view. I've heard that women often like a guy to be sexually experienced but I doubt it would apply to them all.
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Element333
Raven
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Joined: Mar 04, 2010
Posts: 116

PostPosted: Sat Jun 26, 2010 2:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

My youngest brother is like that - 37 and hasn't ever dated anyone, let alone slept with them. My middle brother keeps threatening to rent him a prostitute, but I told him that if he did, I'd kick his butt. My baby brother way too bashful for that. I know he's interested in women, but can't bring himself to talk to them. It's not for lack of "want to," it's a lack of self-confidence and social skills. He'd have to meet a real in-your-face outgoing female to ever have it happen for him. He's very sweet and wouldn't ever hurt anyone (he has AS as well - it runs very strong in our family), so there'd be nothing to be suspicious of. Sometimes people are just very, very shy.

E333
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MoonRa
Blue Jay
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Joined: Dec 03, 2009
Age: 45
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 7:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

n4mwd wrote:
..
As an aspie, I have a problem living with other people, but yet I still dislike being totally alone. In the decade after high school, I watched as I lost all my friends to their respective spouses. I mean, we didn't become enemies or anything like that, but they gradually stopped wanting anything to do with me in favor of their new wife/husband.
...


Same here. I'm living on my own for years, but would love some company now and then, although not up to an intimate level. I'm sometimes thinking about living together with people where you have a private bed- and hobbies-room, but share a common living room, kitchen etc.
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MoonRa
Blue Jay
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Age: 45
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 7:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

ToughDiamond wrote:
I'd probably view it as grounds for suspicion, I'd wonder why they hadn't ever had sex in all that time, and I'd wonder if there was something very undesirable about them that I hadn't discovered yet, but I'd keep an open mind. .......


Yes, one shouldn't tell a potential girlfriend that you'r virgin, just tell them what they want to hear.
That's the problem with most woman, they wonder too much and ask too little;)
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DerKodeMeister
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker


Joined: Jul 24, 2009
Age: 21
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Location: USA

PostPosted: Wed Jun 30, 2010 2:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Cynic wrote:

As women want guys with money, all men will have to pay for sex in one way or another. Wink


You are a virgin aren't you?
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chessimprov
Toucan
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Joined: Jun 12, 2010
Posts: 292
Location: Philly

PostPosted: Wed Jun 30, 2010 4:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Don't let inexperience get you down at all! Trust and consideration are almost if not totally irreplaceable. Everything is potentially very teachable. Even though some may not know body language not everyone is scared of it. Some of us may just not be able to figure it out initially. But when they do, and if they can get creative, oh boy what a masterpiece.

You'd be missing out on one hell of a treat. He sounds like he'd make straight men gay, so you better hurry up, lol.
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