 
Support Wrong Planet Awareness!
| View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
BJWanlund
Hummingbird
Joined: Apr 28, 2006
Age: 22
Posts: 22
Location: Brevard, North Carolina, USA
|
 Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 1:41 am Post subject: Some assistance needed |
 |
|
Hey guys! I'm doing a column for my school paper about being an Aspie, and I'm working on another one over the summer, but I've run into a snag: I want to talk about how come Aspies don't exactly have very many girlfriends, if any, and I really want to talk from not just my perspective, but from others' perspective too.
So, here's my question: Why do most Neurotypical girls shun us Aspies? What are they expecting out of us?
BJ |
|
| Back to top |
|
RafaHendrix
Emu Egg
Joined: Oct 10, 2007
Posts: 2
|
| Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 2:07 am Post subject: |
|
|
| I thnink they get wierded out because people with Asperger's generally aren't inot all the superficial things nt's have. For example, someone with Asperger's might be into astronomy and know everything about astronomy. But girls are into i-phone's and cars. It's sad but a also think that women like assholes. And luckily most aspies aren't assholes. |
|
| Back to top |
|
windscar15
Velociraptor
Joined: Feb 17, 2008
Age: 19
Posts: 431
Location: San Jose, California
|
| Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 2:08 am Post subject: |
|
|
Well, first of all, I don't speak for anyone else on here, but I think that in my opinion, it isn't just girls but guys want to us to be more inclusive mentally.
Secondly, not all aspies are particularly shunned, just the ones that don't have any real social skills or haven't learned any yet.
I'd kinda liken it to having a party going on, and a whole bunch of people were invited, but when they come to the door, you can't figure out how to unlock the door, and the guests end up leaving and incensed at a perfect mistake.
I was not shunned per se but rather kept at a distance for reasons other AS (not many people actually knew what it was, even after an article similar to yours was printed.) I have a considerable number of friends, male and female. I don't want to tell you what to write, but please understand that not aspies are uniform in behavior and situation. |
|
| Back to top |
|
Balefire
Raven
Joined: Jun 20, 2008
Posts: 107
Location: Your computer screen, trying not to crash.
|
| Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 2:09 am Post subject: |
|
|
Well, first off, I assume they expect us to like spending time in close proximity to them expressing our feelings 
Also, we aren't tough, cool, or strong, and most of us hate touching or discussing our feelings, which it seems like girls want. Most aspies are terrified of rejection. Some of us just aren't interested in relationships, and others are too perfectionist about who they will date (myself included). At least with me, I find most people very boring, espescially NT girls. Most of the smart ones are interesting, but there are nowhere near enough of them.
The biggest reason why more aspie guys don't have girlfriends is that we almost always hate small talk.
_________________
"A witty saying proves nothing." -Voltaire |
|
| Back to top |
|
Who_Am_I
Retarded walking encylopedia, apparently...
Joined: Aug 28, 2005
Age: 24
Posts: 3337
Location: My body is in Brisbane and my mind is in the gutter. :D
|
| Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 6:26 am Post subject: |
|
|
Because Aspies suck socially, and girls, being social humans, pick up on that, and it puts them off- they misread the awkwardness and think it means that the Aspie could be harmful.
_________________
I don't dislike humans, I just don't want them to inhabit the same planet as me. |
|
| Back to top |
|
Cyberman
Cyber Lieutenant
Joined: Apr 25, 2008
Posts: 1324
Location: Cyber Control
|
| Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 8:24 am Post subject: |
|
|
-Because we're "weird."
-Because of our social problems.
-Because NT women are afraid of having children on the autistic spectrum.
-Because we have interests we're highly devoted to which make us boring to be around.
-Because NT women's idea of "Mr. Right" is a confident, outgoing guy, and a lot of Aspies are neither due to our social problems. |
|
| Back to top |
|
Dracula
Velociraptor
Joined: Nov 23, 2007
Age: 19
Posts: 412
|
| Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 8:35 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Quote: | | Why do most Neurotypical girls shun us Aspies? |
Because most Aspies are clueless when it comes to the dating game. Our social skills, interests, and fashion sense is foreign to them.
You can work to alleviate the set-backs of Asperger's Syndrome. When you do that, you'll be a Lone Wolf turned Alpha Male.
By "Alpha Male" I mean a strong (in every sense of the word), competent LEADER and PROTECTOR.
If you can do that, BJWanlund, it would be the greatest honor to have in our community... you'd be a GOD among unworthy men and swooned women... and evolution will be looking to you as the paradigm of "the next phase."
Make self-improvement your OBSESSION. Devote yourself completely to it. There is NO stopping an Aspie once he has risen to devotion. |
|
| Back to top |
|
MisterHeron
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Jul 31, 2007
Age: 19
Posts: 198
|
| Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 9:38 am Post subject: |
|
|
I think the same can be said for most mental disorders. I've talked to several women who haven't had the best of luck with men, that aren't on the spectrum, but do have some sort of mental disorder. It's just that neurotypicals tend to overlook those with mental disorders because it seems 'undesirable'. If the women do get in a relationship with a normal man, it isn't always good.
One girl I was close to for a bit had borderline personality syndrome. She managed fine at finding guys and getting dates, but as far as getting serious, it was a big problem for her.
We need to quit assuming that this is an AS only thing, or that it's strictly applied to males. There are hundreds of mental disorders out there which cause romantic troubles, and leave people feeling lonely, and isolated. Many NTs are actually hostile to those that they know have 'issues'.
I honestly think you should forget about making this article AS specific, and focus on a broader range of mental disabilities, especially given the topic. |
|
| Back to top |
|
SIXLUCY
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 14, 2008
Age: 31
Posts: 895
|
| Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 9:44 am Post subject: I |
|
|
I can relate to and feel closer to the opposite sex if they have a similiar mind set to mine but the sad fact Ive got enough disabilities of my own with out taking on some one elses  |
|
| Back to top |
|
deadeyexx
Snowy Owl
Joined: Sep 11, 2007
Age: 27
Posts: 130
|
| Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 12:44 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Who_Am_I wrote: | | Because Aspies suck socially |
I think more than anything this is the reason. High social status is likely the most attractive trait a man can have, especially in school years. |
|
| Back to top |
|
SIXLUCY
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 14, 2008
Age: 31
Posts: 895
|
| Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 1:05 pm Post subject: I was |
|
|
I was popular at high school at some stages but I dont know what happened or really why but I stabbed a few people with a pen, threatened to kill a few people, got in physical fights and kicked in doors >
I know this is not the way to make friends and I dont really know why I acted like this
Maybe I had heaps of anger or something.
All this stuff Ive done, for years I didnt know of or remember but things are coming back to me and like all people Im putting the pieces of the puzzle back together
When I was in a girls home I felt safe and made two good friends but one by one when i got them on thier own I threatened to kill and torture them
The girls on many nights had to sleep with their doors locked shut
Does this make me a sociopath?
Last edited by SIXLUCY on Sat Jul 19, 2008 12:17 am; edited 2 times in total |
|
| Back to top |
|
Dracula
Velociraptor
Joined: Nov 23, 2007
Age: 19
Posts: 412
|
| Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 3:08 pm Post subject: Re: I was |
|
|
| SIXLUCY wrote: | I have a diagnosed autistic disorder and ADHD and I was popular at high school at some stages but I dont know what happened or really why but I stabbed a few people with a pen, threatened to kill a few people, got in physical fights and kicked in doors >
I know this is not the way to make friends and I dont really know why I acted like this
I was seriously abused as a child and ranaway as a teenager. Maybe I had heaps of anger or something.
All this stuff Ive done, for years I didnt know of or remember but things are coming back to me and like all people Im putting the pieces of the puzzle back together
When I was in a girls home I felt safe and made two good friends but one by one when i got them on thier own I threatened to kill and torture them
The girls on many nights had to sleep with their doors locked shut
Does this make me a sociopath? |
Depends. Do you still act like this? |
|
| Back to top |
|
SIXLUCY
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 14, 2008
Age: 31
Posts: 895
|
| Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 5:34 pm Post subject: No |
|
|
No but I went to prison a year back for similiar behaviour
I am not excusing it at all but its like something just came over me and Im not my same person anymore
It was like something really evil was haunting me and every time I got angry it would come over me like you wouldnt believe
It was torture and that is why I wrote alot of that poetry > it was my only escape
There was this girl (and no it wasnt me) but at around this time she came to me in visions and dreams She scared the hell out of me but sometimes in some ways that girl became me
Its hard to explain but so much crazy stuff happened and it was all real
There was a really evil girl (so evil you wouldnt believe) and too there were men but they were not as apparent to me |
|
| Back to top |
|
Gamester
Buracrate in the Making
Joined: Nov 23, 2006
Age: 21
Posts: 2884
Location: Newberg, OR
|
| Posted: Sat Jul 19, 2008 12:10 am Post subject: Re: Some assistance needed |
|
|
| BJWanlund wrote: | Hey guys! I'm doing a column for my school paper about being an Aspie, and I'm working on another one over the summer, but I've run into a snag: I want to talk about how come Aspies don't exactly have very many girlfriends, if any, and I really want to talk from not just my perspective, but from others' perspective too.
So, here's my question: Why do most Neurotypical girls shun us Aspies? What are they expecting out of us?
BJ |
Er.............what?
I dated two neuro's, and I am a current Neuro myself, somehow my AS has disappered.
anyhoz, I dated a neuro my junior year of high school (four years back) and it went completely well (well if you don't count the once a week sesh with a councilor after I thought I might be sucidal and depressed....that's another story) minus the break up, and we're still talking and good friends.
I can't say that I've been "shunned" in all my expereience (well excluding elementary school). I was always the guy that every one liked, in high school and today, most guys with girlfriends don't mind them hanging out with me because they know me well enough to know that I'm not the type to make a move on their girl.
_________________
I don't believe in mercy without it being reciprocated.
I don't judge unless it's necessary.
I believe in the golden rule, except in the case of those who have no standing in my opinion.
I'm all for a world where those with disabilities are viewed as |
|
| Back to top |
|
jizzatron
Butterfly
Joined: Jul 05, 2007
Age: 31
Posts: 12
|
| Posted: Sat Jul 19, 2008 6:35 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| [edited for content by sinsboldly] |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
|
|
|
