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DW_a_mom
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24 Jul 2009, 8:23 pm

Postperson wrote:
The mods can agree till kingdom come on what they intend to impose on the membership here, that doesn't mean the membership believe it is right or appropriate. It doesn't surprise me at all that the mods would be in agreement. I rather expected that.


The mods are members, too. And reading, and listening, and gauging the sentiment of the membership. Just because you may not like where a position is headed, does not mean that the majority of members won't.


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Postperson
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24 Jul 2009, 8:38 pm

DW_a_mom wrote:
Postperson, I see what you are saying about how the evolution times out, but there are reasons in this situation to hurry it up, and that is the simple fact that NT's are marrying AS and NT's are raising AS kids. The faster we get to the thaw, as you call it, the faster this forum can be a key to making life better for that AS spouse or that AS child. There are other places for parents and spouses but you know as well as I do that they don't teach the NT to see the world from an AS point of view, and that is to the detriment of the AS in the family.


There is no reason for any extra hurry, in the case of female emancipation, females have been in marriages long before any 'rights' movements and in the racial mixed marriage, it's the same, the pace will be the same because there is no extra urgency in comparison to other similar movements.

DW_a_mom wrote:
Making this forum a little more NT friendly is really more about learning to narrow your anger and be careful with terminology than no longer complaining about the injustices in your life. There have been some good examples in this thread, on how to do that without using hate speech against NT's.


How do you propose to prevent NTs from dominating this forum?



makuranososhi
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24 Jul 2009, 9:00 pm

To quote from Aristotle...

Quote:
Anybody can become angry - that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way - that is not within everybody's power and is not easy.


Postperson, let me turn the question back to you - how do you see NTs as having a dominant influence on this forum?


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24 Jul 2009, 9:20 pm

I'm speaking of the future of this website, I believe I have already outlined my reasons for thinking this may happen, things such as personal experience of mixed NT/AS websites, I've mentioned the big disparity in skills in seeking and obtaining help (still waiting for responses to that one)...there's probably more..



makuranososhi
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24 Jul 2009, 9:38 pm

So am I to understand that we are dealing with a hypothetical problem that may arise, arising from concerns based on your own personal experience with another forum in the past? Just want to be sure that I understand what exactly the issue is. While I am sure you have posted regarding skills, I would ask that you repeat or link to the post for me, as I have been unable to find it in your posts at this time. It would be most appreciated by me so that we are not missing aspects to our communication.


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24 Jul 2009, 9:48 pm

I've bought the subject of the disparity in 'seeking help' skills up about 3 times now in this thread, since you've participated in this thread previously, you would get notifications of new posts. They're probably a few pages back.

here's one:

I don't think people realise (especially the complaining NTs here) why sites like this came into being. 10 years ago there were no support sites on the net for autistic adults. There were however, support sites for parents and families at which autistics were not welcome or barely tolerated.

The increasing presence of NTs here and their demands to be included are of a concern to me because having had experience in mixed NT/AS groups (and IRL where it's the same), I feel that NTs are both likely and capable of taking over and dominating groups of autistics. They very often seek out positions of power too as that gives them control. In the case of parents/partners seeking to use this group for their support, I wonder where their AS partners and kids can go - if you're not happy for your partner/child to use this site as well, then that rather puts them out in the cold, doesn't it?

I wonder if this site will end up being an NT support site and a lot of autistics will drift away.

You have to remember that NTs are not shy about asking for help and even demanding it as a 'right'. Autistics don't have that ability. That's why you have to privelege AS people at a (supposed) AS support site.



Considering possible/likely future trends is not something the mods are interested in here, is that your position?



makuranososhi
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24 Jul 2009, 10:04 pm

I do not opt for automatic notification for every thread I am a part of - perhaps a reminder not to assume anything.

I recognize that there are risks, but I fail to see any examples made of where this is occurring here. I appreciate your past experience, and regret that you had to go through it, but that does not correlate that such an event is happening or will happen here. Would you prefer an oasis of non-involvement, a stagnation of any development towards finding a better understanding between those on the spectrum and the world that surrounds them? Can you point to examples here? Because all I am seeing are individuals who are seeking to better understand those in their lives, and they are being abused here - and that isn't much different than the experience I had when I was younger. I don't want to be one of those people who I was hurt by when I was young, and so I refuse to follow in their footsteps.

I am all about analysis of trends and being prepared - which is why I ask for examples instead of basing decisions on fears. Again, you assume much in a negative fashion...


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24 Jul 2009, 10:12 pm

I could say the same of you.

So..basically the priesthood here has decided to change the doctrine to accomodate new church members, is that the position?



sartresue
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24 Jul 2009, 10:17 pm

Emo-shun topic

I was just rereading some of the posts here, and I have noticed that many want thi site to be more NT friendly.

I have never seen that it was not. NTs have never been shunned here. Many post daily and many more very mild AS are on the site as well. For both groups, this is perhaps because they can engage in dialogue with those who are different and learn from them.

As for those who rant on and on about how they were treated so badly by NTs, the NT members here themselves have been empathetic and understood that it is part of the anger process and coming to terms with a traumatic past. I went through this long ago, and came to terms with it. Many here are at a different stage. and I live with NTs--my two younger children who live with me, and a grown up daughter. All in all, I have been dealing with NTs all my life. But I do not find them mysterious, nor do I wish to unravel their mindset. We cannot control others behaviours, thoughts, etc. Only our own.

Then there was the mention that NTs could perhaps monopolize this forum. It is a private website. If WP becomes a more 50/50 NT/AS thing, and I do not know what this would be like, and if I found it intolerable, then I would seriously consider not frequenting it as often, and looking elsewhere, or doing my own thing--something people on the Spectrum are rather good at.

WP has changed somewhat since I started a year and a half ago, and many members have been here 5 years. I would like to ask them if they feel any changes they have experienced are detrimental.

I have found this website a very beneficial in that it has helped my writing, my empathy, my knowledge and my thinking. In a few words, it keeps me on my toes. A useful tool, and a means, a way of doing things, but not an end in itself. :D


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makuranososhi
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24 Jul 2009, 10:27 pm

Postperson, I would appreciate it if you stop with the assumptions. My comments have be relatively objective, and seeking clarification - I have accused you of nothing. No rules have changed, only the existing rules enforced to deal with changes in behavior on the site.


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24 Jul 2009, 10:36 pm

Well I am seeking clarification on this matter for myself and other members. DW has indicated some kind of agreement between moderators exists in that you apparently intend to issue cautions but not banning for apparent heretical activities here. As I have already stated to you (to other readers: I have had some little private correspondance with 2 mods on this matter and asked them to discuss it in a public sphere so that we may all understand the issues and where the line is to be drawn) - I don't accept that the alleged rule of attacking groups here is relevant because NTs are a group/pack/hive species and NTs as a group is going to be a subject that comes up. Some people will have negative experiences on this matter and will thus be considered to be 'attacking groups'.

If you have come to some agreement on this matter amongst yourselves, I think it's appropriate that you share that with the people you intend to impose it on.

It is a 'new' thing in that previously it hasn't been considered an issue, I don't recall people ever being officially cautioned or warned on this matter. As such, it represents a change in direction.



makuranososhi
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24 Jul 2009, 10:49 pm

The point has been clarified, Postperson - attacks on groups of people, or individuals, is against site rules. Whether you 'accept' it or not isn't the point here; you accepted the site's rules when you created your account. There is a difference between talking about being treated poorly and attacking the person who did it - and the latter is not permitted on WrongPlanet. Just because someone with a tattoo robbed you doesn't make all tattooed people thieves... yet this is the logic that seems to being applied here. There is latitude given, and no one has suggested banning people for their attacks unless they continued to do so after being warned and repeatedly or extraordinarily violating the site's policies and terms of service. In fact, most of the furor you have raised with me has been the result of a public request to tone down rhetoric and focus on the situations instead of the people. No one punished, no great agenda other than a desire for civility. You are welcome to continue expressing your displeasure, but your question has been answered.


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24 Jul 2009, 10:56 pm

Doesn't that create a situation in which people will actively seek to be banned?



makuranososhi
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24 Jul 2009, 11:10 pm

How so?


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DW_a_mom
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24 Jul 2009, 11:41 pm

Postperson wrote:
DW has indicated some kind of agreement between moderators exists...


For the record, what I've posted here is my impression of how the group thinks, based on responses to particular situations. I've pulled that together and concluded the various moderators are pretty consistent. It's not like there has been a vote on this. Although I'm inclined to think that we should write it all up and sign off on it, just to make sure there is no confusion. Mak draws the lines very carefully and, I believe, quite appropriately. The difficulty right now is getting it effectively conveyed to the members. We seem to each be individually stumbling on that a bit; or, at least, I know I am. In theory, its not a change in policy, because the concensus draws firmly from existing terms of service. But if it is a change in practice, I guess that will be a matter of opinion.

As to your question about NT's taking over, I think the simplist way to prevent that is in making sure the mod group stays pretty much AS. I am the only more or less NT mod this group has had, to my knowledge, and I'm not looking to increase that. I keep as a mod mostly to parenting, which as a board needs to be understanding with NT's. As long as the moderators don't start inviting NT's right and left to become moderators, the controlling voice here will always be AS, in my opinion. There are no guarantees for anything, but people like me come here to experience your neighborhood, and have no desire to change that. If I can help and that help is wanted, great. If not, I didn't come here looking to help; I came here looking to understand, and that is probably true of all our NT members.


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25 Jul 2009, 1:13 am

Well, that's more along the lines of what I was looking for here, I think that's been a problem across the board the practice of non autistic people are appointed to controlling positions of autistic organisations.

I guess the other things that bother me about a larger NT presence are that I don't like the whole 'self narrating zoo exhibit' thing of having an audience, whether they are positive or negative about it, I wouldn't undertake public speaking about autism for that reason. It feels like a form of work to me when done for the benefit of non-autistics. So I wonder, since they have better access to paid work than we do, what 'work' are they doing for us?