What types of compliments do women like from men?

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CaroleTucson
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04 Sep 2009, 3:21 pm

sarbear1987 wrote:
Believe it or not, I've gotten that before. My elbows can hyperextend and it always made my male classmates go "Wow!" I'd just be raising my hand to answer a question. But maybe it was more of a "Wow, she's a freak, how awesome!" because they never asked me out.


I'm sure they were thinking "how awesome" :)



ToadOfSteel
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04 Sep 2009, 3:43 pm

sarbear1987 wrote:
Believe it or not, I've gotten that before. My elbows can hyperextend and it always made my male classmates go "Wow!" I'd just be raising my hand to answer a question. But maybe it was more of a "Wow, she's a freak, how awesome!" because they never asked me out.


You're a freak? Where do I sign up? :P



SilverStar
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04 Sep 2009, 8:12 pm

From what I have learned, women like genuine compliments about things other than their looks. They also don't like being complmented constantly...do so sparingly. You could also throw a compliment in with a playful insult...they love this.



polymathpoolplayer
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04 Sep 2009, 8:53 pm

ILoveMusic wrote:
Pretty women ALWAYS get complimented on their looks. If you want to stand out from the crowd, compliment her on something other than her looks (ie her intelligence, sense of humor, car, etc).


Actually this is not true. It depends on how pretty. I have a piano student who is stunning. She never so much as gets men to say anything to her at all (compliment or not) because she is so good looking they just freeze and lose their courage. My gf agrees this is the case for her (we're all friends too).



Rack
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05 Sep 2009, 12:51 am

Occasionally female acquaintances are self deprecating about their appearance and I'm never quite sure how strongly I should contradict them.



Dilbert
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05 Sep 2009, 1:31 am

Which woman? :P

Everyone is different.

Some women melt away at a compliment regarding their earrings or shoes or a purse. Others would laugh if I tried that and would prefer a more subtle compliment, like being told they look nice. Still others prefer intelectual conversations and might respond to a compliment regarding something they said rather than how they look. Someone goal driven might prefer a compliment regarding their accomplishments. Etc... The whole point of dating is to learn more about the other person so you can relate to them better.



ToadOfSteel
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05 Sep 2009, 2:43 am

Rack wrote:
Occasionally female acquaintances are self deprecating about their appearance and I'm never quite sure how strongly I should contradict them.

I see this as the best time to break out some compliments... if they're being self-deprecating around me, my experience is that they're being a little more open with me than is normally the case (the whole "social game" thing I hate would preclude this, and revealing one's inner personality is usually a sign that "the game" is over)... If a woman trusts you enough to show weakness to you, then by all means go all out. By this point in time you're probably already friend-zoned (that's what's happened in my experience anyway), but it still gives you some good interaction with women in general...

When complimenting a woman in this type of scenario, it's best to match the overall tone of the conversation. If she's just being playful about it, don't get too heavy-handed. One of the biggest social traps aimed at men is the dreaded "does my butt look big in this?" question. Yet even that can be avoided (and I've done it successfully before as well). It does involve some wit and thinking on one's feet a bit, and in all cases you do have to dodge it (as many of you know, both "yes" and "no" are wrong answers), but having a few stock responses is also okay as long as you don't repeat the same one to the same woman repeatedly... One of my favorite witty responses is this: "Well, I'm not an authority on butts, but overall I do have to say you look sexy/beautiful/gorgeous/fill in your adjective here." Success is never guaranteed in these sorts of endeavors, but if you're good friends with her, at the very least she will at least appreciate your attempt to make her feel better...

Sometimes, however, the situation is such that she's being openly emotional with you, and instead of a playful banter, she can be feeling really down about something. The best thing you can possibly do here is to simply be there for her. You don't necessarily have to even say anything, it's just your presence alone that can make a woman who's feeling down not have to feel like she's all alone, and thus feel a little bit better. Some simple words of reassurance go a very long way. If she's making a grossly negative exaggeration about herself, challenge it (don't be a dick about challenging it though). The most important thing to remember, however, is that at this point, you can't let your own preconceptions about anything get in the way... this is a time for making her feel better, and if you follow through on focusing on her at that point, you'll have a friend for life. As I had previously mentioned, you're already in the friend zone at this point, so don't even try to turn it into a relationship...

Anyhow, that's how I ended up with a lot (almost all) of the female friends I have today: I simply offered some kind words at the right time, without any prejudice, and without asking anything in return. It felt really good (in an emotional sense), both to myself and to the woman involved... the feeling I get could almost be summarized as a feeling of love, although since I've never been in a position where I have actually been in (mutual) love, I have no background experience to compare it against, and besides, this feeling subsides quickly, as opposed to love which is much more permanent...



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05 Sep 2009, 7:40 am

I live in a city with a boatload of prostitutes. Prostitution is illegal here. So for a man to attract a prospective prostitute from his car the conversation goes like this.

"Hey, you're pretty!"

Then he waits to see whether that gets the woman's attention. If she turns around the following questions is:

"Would you like a date?"

Consequently, comments about my figure, my eyes, my all-round good looks make me freeze. I assume that the creepster is going to engage me in a conversation about potential sexual services that I would be willing to provide for a price. I'm not really offended I just have to start thinking about how I am going to gracefully and safely get myself away from him. I have to counter with a stern"

"I have a boyfriend"

This ends to conversation very quickly and the creepster will speed off......or not. I don't like unsolicited comments about my looks from strangers, I never know what is coming and it puts me on high alert.

Having said all that, I do like compliments. I am pretty popular and pretty famous when it comes to the Internet. I spend a great deal of effort writing blog posts, doing photography and creating artwork, most of which appears on the Internet in some form. Almost daily I receive positive emails or IMs about things that I have created. Those are like gold to me. More than anything I like compliments about my creativity.

Now I love to post links more than anything. However, if I tell you who I am it would take a mildly clever person to figure out who my aspie nonboyfriend is, because he is more famous than me. Right now, I have no intention of exposing him because we haven't had the aspie talk yet and I highly doubt he is going to like being outed. So I can't show you all my stuff unfortunately.



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06 Sep 2009, 9:16 pm

They would like to hear stuff like that a guy's love is eternal, or that the world is cold and dark without them.


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