10 things you want NTs to know - General Autism Discussion

WP Members: > 70,000

New Today: 10
New Yesterday: 28

10 things you want NTs to know

Previous 1, 2, 3, 4 Next

Wrong Planet Autism Forum Index -> General Autism Discussion

bestillblue
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: Oct 31, 2009
Posts: 7

Posted: Sat Nov 21, 2009 9:30 pm Post subject:

If there are a lot of people talking, or there is music playing I cannot hear you. Repeat: I cannot hear you. If we're in a crowded lunchroom, for example, your no doubt incredibly interesting remarks are forced to share a limited amount of auditory processing with forks clanking, the people at the next table etc. When I have a meltdown, yelling at me or calling me "frightening" is not going to help. I am melting down because you are frightening ME. I try to control myself in conversations, talking about things you want to talk about. It would be nice, however, to be given free rein to rant every once in a while. It's a two-way street, people; I have to be enjoying my interaction with you as well. When I assume that you will behave in patterns you find egregious and cruel, I am just extrapolating from previous experiences. People in general have treated me that way. And the last: Never, ever ever say the word "retarded" or any of its derivatives in front of me. I will flip the eff word out on you, and you will deserve it. Thanks for such a great thread, hope this was helpful.

suki21
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: Nov 16, 2009
Age: 37
Posts: 42

Posted: Mon Nov 23, 2009 4:06 pm Post subject:

'Oh, one more thing: Realize that as an Aspie woman, I have less interest than many NT women in stereotypically 'feminine' topics of conversation, and that I don't like being coerced into 'girlie' activities. (This may not be true for all AS women, but I'd bet it is for a fair few of us, me included.)' Oh my goodness this is one of the many things that drives me insane!! I'm forever having difficult converstaions with people who make assumptions about me based on my gender! It has actually become an obsession.

superboyian
Reaching Out
Phoenix

Joined: Sep 10, 2009
Age: 21
Posts: 14205
Location: London

Posted: Mon Nov 23, 2009 5:06 pm Post subject:

When people say "As usual" to me, it kinda irritates me and i don't know why? But what I also want a NT to know is that just because im different, it doesn't stop me from being who i'am at the end of the day. _________________ My Poetry: http://poetryimpact.blogspot.com My YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/michkat0 - In partnership with AwesomenessTV Co-Owner of Aspies Central: http://www.aspiescentral.com Know me on the inside before you judge.

chelischili7
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: Nov 11, 2009
Posts: 60

Posted: Mon Nov 23, 2009 6:16 pm Post subject:

-Don't sneak up on me and startle me, then tell me I must have a guilty conscience when I jump 3 feet in the air. Your assumptions really anger me and hurt me. I can only concentrate on one thing at a time. -If I ask you if something is okay, give me an honest answer. Don't tell me something is okay, than get angry about it when I do something. I had a friend who told me that I could share my stresses with her, and she said she was perfectly okay with it. She used to do the same with me. -Don't take advantage of me. I will do anything I can to help you, but it hurts when someone you trust takes advantage of you. -Don't tell me that you are okay with my AS, then hurt me because of it. I rarely tell people about it but I told one person about it. Then she broke up our friendship because of Aspergian traits I have.

CockneyRebel
Mick Avory, Sensitive brown-eyed Sweet Pea
Phoenix

Joined: Jul 18, 2004
Age: 38
Posts: 87188
Location: In a quiet and peaceful garden, where gentle Mick Avory-like Sweet Peas grow.

Posted: Mon Nov 23, 2009 9:23 pm Post subject:

I hate girlie things, like hair, guys and make-up. You will never make me stop liking the 60s. I can't stand to be yelled at. I don't want a sexy body, a boyfriend or sex. I will not go to speech thearapy and lose my Cockney accent. I quite like being mistaken for the opposite sex. _________________ The darling, unworldly Mick Avory with hands like shovels, who wouldn't dare choose to hurt a soul: I'm the cuddly, adorable Kink. Sweet Peas: http://s76.photobucket.com/albums/j37/Cocknee/Kinks/Sweet%20Pea%20Smileys/ Other: http://www.mybrowsercash.com/

justMax
Phoenix
Phoenix

Joined: Nov 24, 2009
Age: 32
Posts: 539

Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2009 4:08 am Post subject:

The hidden meanings thing is one of the biggest things I would like explained. I do not like to say things I don't mean, and I'm prone to taking people literally, though it amuses me when I know better. The noises thing too, if you tap your pencil one more time on the desk, I'm going to embed it in your left ear... I'd rather not.

Eggman
das Freak'n Techno Viking!
Phoenix

Joined: Jul 18, 2008
Posts: 5381

Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2009 4:50 am Post subject:

I dont want to think like you _________________ Pwning the threads with my mad 1337 skillz.

justMax
Phoenix
Phoenix

Joined: Nov 24, 2009
Age: 32
Posts: 539

Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2009 4:59 am Post subject:

Even more, I can't in some ways. I've been trying to explain across three threads on another forum. I'm not just saying I lack beliefs to get people riled up, I'm saying it because I can not do it. It requires lying to myself to even try, and that hurts after a while. I'm too literal, Aspy thing, they're like "that's nice, but you have to have beliefs to operate!"

TheDoctor82
Phoenix
Phoenix

Joined: Feb 29, 2008
Age: 31
Posts: 2312
Location: Sandusky, Ohio

Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2009 5:03 am Post subject:

DonkeyBuster wrote:

Booyakasha wrote:

Absolutely! I hate and avoid any kind of shopping - I actually have male friends that are girlier, sentimental and more emotional than me.

As far as NT's are concerned - there actually ARE things far more important and entertaining than parties, social gatherings and respectability. I'm not interested in it nor do I want to be emotionally manipulated and coerced to anyone's will. If you don't understand, please leave me alone - I'm not clingy nor am i an attention whore. Please respect the fact that I don't do conformities, obligations etc that are not crucial and vital for survival.

And I don't care about anyone's weight problem, hair problems, chronic relationship problems, fashion issues, or what Sarah Palin OR Oprah Winfrey is up to these days. I am just not going to be there for you while you verbally weigh the pros and cons of breast feeding your latest spawn. I will not join you in your self-indulgent emotional spasm over the latest dead animal on the road.

If you need someone who's facial contortions constantly reassure you that you are a nice, good, worthy-of-the-next-breath person, get a therapist. I was not put on this planet to mollify anyone's flipping insecurities other than my own.

If I don't meet your gaze, it's because you're so freaking needy and I'm not wanting to get sucked into your bottomless need for external reassurance and chaotic emotional addictions. Big surprise... I've found there's nothing in it for me but constant exposure to conversational topics with all the depth of a People magazine.

love that last part...PRICELESS!!!!!!!!!!!!

anslinger
Butterfly

Joined: Nov 17, 2009
Posts: 13

Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2009 12:35 pm Post subject:

I've got three. -Your values are wrong. Not just different from mine, but wrong. -I don't give you a hard time about it, please show me the same courtesy. -Mind your own business.

Locustman
Toucan
Toucan

Joined: Apr 22, 2009
Posts: 277
Location: London, UK.

Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2009 1:18 pm Post subject:

Please don't try and involve me in a conversation about "The X Factor", because unlike (seemingly) 99.9% of Britain's population, I'm not interested. Please don't break me off when I'm in the middle of doing something and ask me to do something else. This causes stress and confusion. Please don't make plans to do something or go somewhere and then cancel at the last minute for no better reason than "I don't feel like going out". The friendship will not survive too many letdowns and mixed messages like this. If I walked into a shop, stole a bottle of wine, got arrested and told the store detectives "I don't feel like paying for this item", would it exonerate me from charges? I think not. So don't steal my time - contrary to what you might assume, it isn't less valuable than yours. _________________ The panda made me do it.

Locustman
Toucan
Toucan

Joined: Apr 22, 2009
Posts: 277
Location: London, UK.

Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2009 1:40 pm Post subject:

CockneyRebel wrote:

You will never make me stop liking the 60s.

me neither. When it comes to 60s music I could bore for Britain (except it wouldn't be boring to me, of course).

I wonder if there's any connection between being aspie and not feeling any urge to conform to gender stereotypes? I'm a bloke and I quite like shopping, but football bores me senseless.
_________________
The panda made me do it.

Last edited by Locustman on Thu Nov 26, 2009 12:16 pm; edited 1 time in total

Locustman
Toucan
Toucan

Joined: Apr 22, 2009
Posts: 277
Location: London, UK.

Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2009 1:42 pm Post subject:

chelischili7 wrote:

-Don't tell me that you are okay with my AS, then hurt me because of it. I rarely tell people about it but I told one person about it. Then she broke up our friendship because of Aspergian traits I have.

Understood. I've lost far too many people whom I wrongly thought I could entrust with that information, so nowadays my policy is to keep schtum about it unless it's absolutely necessary.
_________________
The panda made me do it.

Last edited by Locustman on Thu Nov 26, 2009 12:15 pm; edited 1 time in total

ursaminor
Phoenix
Phoenix

Joined: Nov 21, 2009
Posts: 936
Location: Leiden, Netherlands

Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2009 3:00 pm Post subject:

I don't like explaining things more than one time. If I have to explain something more than once, I lose some respect for you. I despise 'normal' neurotypical behaviour. I think learning is one of, if not the most important things in life. I have very little patience. I can be very direct if I don't like what you're doing. And as some have already mentioned, there are some sounds I just can't bear to hear, they almost literally hurt in my head. Sometimes I need to be overly stimulated to concentrate or relax. I can't be motivated to learn anything about something I'm not interested in. I think social conventions are useless and will most likely not react the way you would think is appropriate. I have things I am very strong about, and if I can't do these things I get very upset. Last edited by ursaminor on Wed Nov 25, 2009 3:06 pm; edited 1 time in total