Bloodheart
Grisha's Gal
Joined: Jan 18, 2011
Age: 30
Posts: 2170
Location: Newcastle, England.
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 Posted: Tue Mar 15, 2011 1:17 am Post subject: |
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This is what worries me about attending the local group.
I would have said I passed as an NT a few years ago, now I am defiantly AS but still 'normal' enough to get along with NT's - I think if I had been in a group like yours I would have walked out too, there's no point in going if the other members aren't like you...fact is as much as we may all want all people on the spectrum to be accepted, people are different and so there needs to be similarities to get on and get something out of a social get together.
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Bloodheart
Good-looking girls break hearts, and goodhearted girls mend them. |
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Surfman
beyond human
Joined: Aug 02, 2010
Age: 50
Posts: 3938
Location: Homeward bound
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| Posted: Tue Mar 15, 2011 1:22 am Post subject: |
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| I ended up in conflict with someone who kept jabbering on at me, and have not been back |
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auntblabby
Chief Assistant to the Assistant Chief
Joined: Feb 13, 2010
Posts: 18240
Location: the island of loveable toy humans
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| Posted: Tue Mar 15, 2011 11:20 am Post subject: |
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| Verdandi wrote: | | There's a meeting in Olympia? I live in Thurston County. |
yes, the first saturday of each month at 1pm, for now in the capitol mall, in front of the "best buy" entrance in the food court. should you decide to give us a try, i am the long-haired tall geeky looking one. i recently lopped some of it off but it is still long.
| Verdandi wrote: | Ohshi- meeting people. I don't know if this is the right thing to do at all.  |
i have all the faith in the world that you will do alright, should you deign to meet with us. i for one would look forward to seeing you there.  |
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anbuend
Oak-Type Autie
Joined: Jul 06, 2004
Age: 32
Posts: 5482
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| Posted: Tue Mar 15, 2011 11:25 am Post subject: |
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| Bloodheart wrote: | This is what worries me about attending the local group.
I would have said I passed as an NT a few years ago, now I am defiantly AS but still 'normal' enough to get along with NT's - I think if I had been in a group like yours I would have walked out too, there's no point in going if the other members aren't like you...fact is as much as we may all want all people on the spectrum to be accepted, people are different and so there needs to be similarities to get on and get something out of a social get together. |
I've found that what I have in common with another autistic person has nothing at all to do with how well they pass for NT. There's such a thing as judging people on appearances and losing track of similarities because of the most visible differences. I would have missed out on a lot if I only looked for people like me among people who didn't pass for NT at all That's simply not my main attribute of autism, it's an appearance, nothing more.
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"In my world it's a place of patterns and feel. In my world it's a haven for what is real. It's my world, nobody can steal it, but people like me, we live in the shadows." -Donna Williams |
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League_Girl
Proud mamma
Joined: Feb 05, 2010
Posts: 13512
Location: My house
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| Posted: Tue Mar 15, 2011 11:47 am Post subject: |
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| Of all the AS groups I have been too, everyone came off as normal except a very few people. I guess we are all either mild or all high functioning. I also see ironic things about these groups, socializing for one and at one of them we were put into groups to make posters. And they say we are bad at team work and I have always hated groups, always had a hard time with them and it was ironic it happened at an autism group. |
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Morgana
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 21, 2008
Posts: 1691
Location: Hamburg, Germany
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| Posted: Tue Mar 15, 2011 4:44 pm Post subject: |
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| anbuend wrote: |
I've found that what I have in common with another autistic person has nothing at all to do with how well they pass for NT. There's such a thing as judging people on appearances and losing track of similarities because of the most visible differences. I would have missed out on a lot if I only looked for people like me among people who didn't pass for NT at all That's simply not my main attribute of autism, it's an appearance, nothing more. |
Good post. 
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"death is the road to awe" |
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kfisherx
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 04, 2010
Age: 49
Posts: 1192
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| Posted: Tue Mar 15, 2011 4:48 pm Post subject: |
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| League_Girl wrote: | | Of all the AS groups I have been too, everyone came off as normal except a very few people. I guess we are all either mild or all high functioning. I also see ironic things about these groups, socializing for one and at one of them we were put into groups to make posters. And they say we are bad at team work and I have always hated groups, always had a hard time with them and it was ironic it happened at an autism group. |
Roger's meeting breaks into groups each and every month. Somehow we do better in tables of 5-8 people. |
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Verdandi
Miss Kitty Fantastico
Joined: Dec 08, 2010
Posts: 10199
Location: University of California Sunnydale (fictional location - Real location Olympia, WA)
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| Posted: Tue Mar 15, 2011 5:14 pm Post subject: |
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| auntblabby wrote: | | Verdandi wrote: | | There's a meeting in Olympia? I live in Thurston County. |
yes, the first saturday of each month at 1pm, for now in the capitol mall, in front of the "best buy" entrance in the food court. should you decide to give us a try, i am the long-haired tall geeky looking one. i recently lopped some of it off but it is still long. |
I know exactly where you mean. I happen to like the Philly Cheesesteak place there if it still exists.
| auntblabby wrote: |
i have all the faith in the world that you will do alright, should you deign to meet with us. i for one would look forward to seeing you there. |
I'm not really that socially anxious, new situations and schedule additions just make me initially nervous. Given time to get used to the idea, it's easier to assimilate. My main issue is transportation. |
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Verdandi
Miss Kitty Fantastico
Joined: Dec 08, 2010
Posts: 10199
Location: University of California Sunnydale (fictional location - Real location Olympia, WA)
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| Posted: Tue Mar 15, 2011 5:17 pm Post subject: |
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| anbuend wrote: |
I've found that what I have in common with another autistic person has nothing at all to do with how well they pass for NT. There's such a thing as judging people on appearances and losing track of similarities because of the most visible differences. I would have missed out on a lot if I only looked for people like me among people who didn't pass for NT at all That's simply not my main attribute of autism, it's an appearance, nothing more. |
Given that it was your blog that convinced me of the possibility I was autistic in the first place, yeah. Superficial similarities strike me as meaningless.
I've seen a lot of people here on this forum compare notes and discuss substantial similarities in how they process things or experience social situations - people have described events from their lives that I could have duplicated nearly word for word. And yet the superficial presentation runs the gamut despite these more relevant similarities. |
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wavefreak58
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 27, 2010
Posts: 4412
Location: Western New York
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| Posted: Tue Mar 15, 2011 5:22 pm Post subject: |
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I've attended a group twice now. It's still feeling really awkward. There is a range of traits and deficits and it was jarring to see what I might look like to others. I've developed a pretty good facade that doesn't freak people out, but I'm pretty dorky.
Unless I'm surfing.
Then I'm all wet.
Another problem is the intention of the group. The one I'm going to seems to be less about support and more just a place to hang out in a non-judgmental environment. I personally would like more support and less group, but it's not my place to set the terms of engagement.
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When God made me He didn't use a mold. I'm FREEHAND baby!
The road to my hell is paved with your good intentions.
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Jonsi
Elise.
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Joined: Jan 01, 2011
Posts: 4219
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| Posted: Tue Mar 15, 2011 5:29 pm Post subject: |
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| I would be open to going to one of these meetings but I likely wouldn't enjoy myself. I don't relate well to most people with AS, ironically. |
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League_Girl
Proud mamma
Joined: Feb 05, 2010
Posts: 13512
Location: My house
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| Posted: Tue Mar 15, 2011 7:19 pm Post subject: |
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| kfisherx wrote: | | League_Girl wrote: | | Of all the AS groups I have been too, everyone came off as normal except a very few people. I guess we are all either mild or all high functioning. I also see ironic things about these groups, socializing for one and at one of them we were put into groups to make posters. And they say we are bad at team work and I have always hated groups, always had a hard time with them and it was ironic it happened at an autism group. |
Roger's meeting breaks into groups each and every month. Somehow we do better in tables of 5-8 people. |
I didn't know that was a group, I thought it was just sitting at tables and there aren't any projects we are doing. I was thinking of more of doing a project. But if it's just discussing things, I find that better. We are just sitting and taking turns speaking. It's no different doing it with family or friends when you are all together and talking. |
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auntblabby
Chief Assistant to the Assistant Chief
Joined: Feb 13, 2010
Posts: 18240
Location: the island of loveable toy humans
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| Posted: Tue Mar 15, 2011 8:53 pm Post subject: |
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| Verdandi wrote: | | Given time to get used to the idea, it's easier to assimilate. My main issue is transportation. |
if you are not afraid of me, i'd be willing to drive you there. |
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Verdandi
Miss Kitty Fantastico
Joined: Dec 08, 2010
Posts: 10199
Location: University of California Sunnydale (fictional location - Real location Olympia, WA)
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| Posted: Tue Mar 15, 2011 9:15 pm Post subject: |
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| auntblabby wrote: | | Verdandi wrote: | | Given time to get used to the idea, it's easier to assimilate. My main issue is transportation. |
if you are not afraid of me, i'd be willing to drive you there. |
Definitely a plan worthy of consideration. No fears.  |
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MichaelDWhite
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Feb 09, 2011
Posts: 48
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| Posted: Tue Mar 15, 2011 9:15 pm Post subject: |
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| I went to my first AS support group meeting two years ago and my first thought was "I am nothing like these people". I sat down next to the most "normal" looking person I could find and it turned out we had a lot in common. I've met with this group every month since then and I've come to find that although there are superficial differences, on the whole I fit in better with this group than any other social group I've been a part of. I realize now that I can't judge people on how they appear in public because I really don't know how I appear to the world my self. |
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