^*throws shoe*
Football is the worst sport devised by mankind. If I have to play f*cking football one more time, I'm going to go back in time and kill the man who invented the sport by ripping his chest open, tearing out his heart, and replacing it... with a football.
Yes, I'm very sadistic. And yes, I've thought about this.
But really, football is the perfect place for bullies to have an excuse to beat you up.
Bully: "We were just playing the game."
Me: "You shoved the ball up my ass!"
Bully: "Shutup, queef."
Me: "Damn it!"
Yes, that one actually happened. 5th grade, folks. And again in 8th. And both times we were supposed to be playing touch football.
Football is another one of those jock-oriented teamsports in which if you're not good at it, you get abused and left out.
Screw football. American football, I mean.
Plus, what skills does it teach? "How to be an as*hole?" No, really, you don't have to work together, all you have to do is run around hoping you get to do something while the jocks take the ball and throw it at people or keep it away from you. F*ck, man, what school did you go to where you had it so good?
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