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Moog
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21 Nov 2010, 7:25 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Can I join?


The operation to become a lady is usually quite expensive.


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alexptrans
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21 Nov 2010, 7:31 am

Moog wrote:
The operation to become a lady is usually quite expensive.


Are there no he-spinsters?



Moog
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21 Nov 2010, 7:38 am

alexptrans wrote:
Moog wrote:
The operation to become a lady is usually quite expensive.


Are there no he-spinsters?


I thought he wanted to join in being a cat lady. My bad if he really only wanted to be a cat man. You never hear about cat men though, do you?


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Severus
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21 Nov 2010, 7:41 am

One of the best people I know is a woman who has never married. She's absolutely normal NT person, polite to strangers, loving and caring to friends and even if she was never a looker, that couldn't be a reason for her not to marry. I thought she was a lesbian at one time but now I don't think so.
She just has so many other things to do, when not working, she's always busy about her house or her plants or her knitting, etc. that I suppose she's happy with herself and that's the best reason for me that people would wish to stay single.



The_Face_of_Boo
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21 Nov 2010, 7:47 am

I meant joining the spinsterhood ...



Kaybee
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21 Nov 2010, 7:49 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Can I join?


Come on in, the water's tepid.


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alexptrans
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21 Nov 2010, 7:55 am

Moog wrote:
I thought he wanted to join in being a cat lady. My bad if he really only wanted to be a cat man. You never hear about cat men though, do you?


That's right, cats are mostly associated with feminine qualities for some reason.



The_Face_of_Boo
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21 Nov 2010, 1:47 pm

Female spinsters are usually too successful to attract males or to be attracted to many males.

Male spinsters are usually too unsuccessful to attract females.

I don't think the two genres can be a good match.



hale_bopp
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21 Nov 2010, 5:53 pm

alexptrans wrote:
Moog wrote:
The operation to become a lady is usually quite expensive.


Are there no he-spinsters?


Those are called "Bachelors".



sunshower
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22 Nov 2010, 2:55 am

Kaybee wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Can I join?


Come on in, the water's tepid.
:lmao:


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The_Face_of_Boo
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22 Nov 2010, 4:20 am

sunshower wrote:
Kaybee wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Can I join?


Come on in, the water's tepid.
:lmao:


any particular dress code?



Moog
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22 Nov 2010, 6:22 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
sunshower wrote:
Kaybee wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Can I join?


Come on in, the water's tepid.
:lmao:


any particular dress code?


Shawls.


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Non_Passerine
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23 Nov 2010, 1:29 am

sunshower wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
It reminds me of crazy cat ladies.

I'm probably going to be one 8O 8O


yeah, me too.


I'm gonna be a crazy dog lady! Why make out with a person when you can make out with dogs. :P



starygrrl
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23 Nov 2010, 9:58 am

In the end we all end up in the same place. Dust in the wind or a home.

Truth be told, there is support for older women. Many older single women end up living together with close friends, and have neighbors that look out for them. In addition to this there is senior services. They don't have to worry about who is supporting them because they often save enough by the time they retire to do rather well for themselves, they are less dependant. Kids and family are actually two of the biggest risk for women to take in terms of living comfortably when they get older, as it opens one to being dependant on other people when you remove yourself from the workforce. Women who never leave the workforce actually retire quite comfortably and frequently early. Some people thinks having kids mean "there will be somebody to take caree of you when you get older", that is often not the case, that really depends on whether or not your kids like you, or whether they live close. In the end kids and caretaking end up costing a woman more than lifting her up. When you are a spinster, it means during your life you were less dependant on other people and know pretty well how to support yourself. I think that many women who look down upon it are projecting their own co-dependance issues onto women who can manage pretty well on their own. I personally look forward to my cat lady days, my current boyfriend is older, and I look forward to being a single older lady.

I will at least have the comfort in knowing I will be able to provide for myself.



ksuther09
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23 Nov 2010, 7:33 pm

Marcia wrote:
I believe that technically a woman can be termed a "spinster" once she is 26 and not married! :roll:
<--- CRAP!! !! !! That's ME this year :? .... Haha, that's a weird realization.

I totally agree that our initial reactions of, "Crap, we're HOW OLD and we're SINGLE??" stem from the social norm of marriage being a developmental milestone and mark of maturity / achievement. I think a lot of people - especially women find worth in marriage. I go into it more here on my blog specifically from a Christian standpoint because most of the literature for Christian women assumes that you're a wife and/or mother.

I think support can come from forums like this, getting to know women in your community that are also your age and single, and from learning about famous women who were never married. I add that last one in because it just shows me that someone's life can totally have worth and be used in an epic way even if that person never gets married and follows the normative pattern of development.

Examples include:
Temple Grandin <-- AWESOME hehehehehe.... sorry ;)
Corrie Ten Boom
Amy Carmichel
Gladys Aylward
Condolezza Rice
Helen Keller

and I could probably think of more, but those are a few contemporary and historical AMAZING single women that we can look to for inspiration :D :D



RossMc
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24 Nov 2010, 10:07 am

I think feminism has helped to create spinsters. I don't care what anyone says. Its not pleasant to be alone. People need other people.