Asperger's and lying ...

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I do not like to lie at all and I find it reprehensible. I find omissions of facts to be lies as well.

That said, I certainly CAN lie and pull the wool over peoples' eyes easily. But I choose not to.

I can only lie for positive reasons, to make people feel good. I struggle to lie in order to gain or even for the 'greater good'. This will have to change for my own 'greater good'. I think I need to see Hot Fuzz again

I also consider omissions of fact to be a lie. Unfortunately the internet/world is full to the brim with people who consider reciting one side of a case, while ignoring inconvenient information, to be a complete examination of the issue. To me that's a form of evil.

I can lie very well should I need to. I prefer not to. But I will do it if it's not something important and it would hurt someone I care about to say the truth (hurting their feelings counts as well).

NTs don't ask you "Do you like my new boots?" for an honest answer. They ask it for validation that what they've chosen is good. They think it's good, that's why they got it in the first place. It doesn't really mean "what do you think of my boots?" translated to our language, it means something more like "I'm happy about this purchase, will you share in my happiness? That would increase my happiness by making me feel you care". I may not share their taste, I may think they're hideous, but a kind lie of "Yes. They're so you, they'll go great with your coat." spares their feelings. It lets them feel good about something they want to feel good about and doesn't really cost anything.

Conversely telling the truth that I think those boots are hideous will only cause conflict, they'd feel hurt because it was something they liked. They would perceive it as me saying they have terrible taste. They may have terrible taste, but sometimes just letting things like that slide and lying is how shall I put it, oiling the social machine to make it run a bit smoother (too much oiling the social machine and those same lies will mess up the incomprehensible clockwork). I think if I went the path of strict honesty I'd fast run out of people willing to even acknowledge my presence, let alone anything more.

I learnt to be less honest when people asked for compliments. I remember for awhile I kept saying 'I don't know' when asked how an outfit looked on someone. That was the truth. I didn't know anything about the fashion at the time.

I hate lying. Sometimes I do it to avoid a confrontation but I just feel so wrong. My compliments are nothing but 'good' or 'nice' or 'cool'.

I don't get how omitting something could be a lie. A lie isn't telling the truth not hiding a fact. What if you forget about the information and leave it out? How's that different from omitting the truth? All these silly rules that we must somehow just know...

I can lie. I have thought since childhood that I probably could trick a lie detector. As a child I lied often, and I made up whole complicated stories, either just for fun or to mask that I had done something that I was not allowed to. Very often I constructed stories with my little sister, planning everything that should be said, and telling her what to say and how to behave. I had kind of a secret life apart from everybody else.

At some point I had troubles remembering what I had told to different persons. Between 6 and 14 it was at worst, but exept for a few times where my parents found out of things, mostly because my sister wasnt a good acter, I got away with it.

Now I dont usually lie, but I know for sure that Im good at it, so I dont understand why it should be that uncommon for aspies.

Everyone lies. People who say they don't lie are lying.

I lie. I did lie. When I was bullied, I lied to my family for a good year about friends I didn't have. When they did find out I lied, they felt stupid because they couldn't tell I had lied the whole time. Believe me I felt guilty. But they made me always aware of how annoyed they were about me whining and complaining and crying about being bullied. So to make them happy, I made up a lot of lies. And not one of them could tell if I was lying.

Even now, when I'm around the dinner table and telling them about work or something my dad always goes:

"You're not lying to me?"

Me, "No,"

"You're really good at making up stories,"

Me, "I'm not lying,"

"Good"

Yeah this though you can't lie if you're completely mute.

Yeah you can. You can still write and type. And use sign language.

Let's say you are gay and never tell anyone. You pretend to be straight, pretend to get crushes on the opposite gender, and talk about yourself as a straight person. How is that not lying to the people you know?

Lying seems to be common with children. They don't want to be in trouble. They do thing when they think they can get away with it. They challenge their boundries. Then people with the Autism spectrum tend to lie a lot more.
I don't think I was ever diagnosed with anything ever. But it seems very apparent I have ADD. I always thought I was just quirky with Attention deficit disorder issues. I learned a week ago my son has PDD. He was diagnosed 15 years ago. I'm upset because this affects my knowledge of my own son, how to deal with him, and learning about myself things that would of helped knowing a very long time ago. The issues I have coping with work, relationships and people in general.
During my son's visit with me I learned that he's very defensive, evasive, his routines are almost rainman like in their precision. He's a compulsive hand washer, germaphobe, he lies about many things, talks behind your back, has a insatiable craving for sweets and cheese to where he will leave a spoon in the bag of it. He doesn't like to do anything other than play video games, read manga, or watch manga on tv. Confesses he likes to spend time, but yet his actions suggests that he doesn't. He eats popsicles in a way that I find unsettling, has very few manners. He cannot stand bugs, and hates warm weather, humidity. He will do just about anything to avoid any source of discomfort. He has effeminent qualities, likes girls but he's way to socially awkward to have a real desire to speak to them. And he's in complete denial of being anything but perfectly normal and considers his quirks as acessories that make him who he is. And when he doesn't get his way or gets to do specifically what he wants and when. He will pace, wash his hands over and over, leave lights on, wander and he won't stay put as if uncomfortable in his own skin. His lying really bothers me!
I confess that I have lied in the past, and I suppose I'm overly honest for the most part. Times I justify lying is when I know for a fact I'm being lied to, or to protect myself from retaliation when you know someone is off their goard.

I'm the same way. It annoys me to no end when someone claims they aren't lying because they never mentioned anything untrue, yet they neglect to include a significant portion of the facts. That IS lying. They call it "lying by omission" for a reason. Even "little white lies" aren't so little at all. With that said, everyone lies. Those who claim they do not are not being fully honest with themselves. Even if it's saying the service at a restaurant was "alright" when in fact it was atrocious is a lie.

i have read no previous entry's in this thread, but i will say that i have no capability of remembering what is not true, and if i tried to lie, then i would not remember the content of the lie when investigated after the event. i think it is best to say what is true, and it is a lot easier as well because it does not require imagination of falsified events .
i have imagination, but i can not apply it to lies.

arise chicken arise, arise chicken arise.

I really can't lie, and I get horribly upset when I find out someone has lied to me.

Unfortunately, I always think people are telling the truth because that's what I do.