emuman100
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 04, 2011
Age: 28
Posts: 555
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 Posted: Tue Mar 22, 2011 5:44 pm Post subject: |
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| I think looks do matter, but only when it comes to facial symmetry. I'm attracted to women who have a beautiful face, as well as a big bum as I've said in another thread. Most people do have attractive faces, because their parents thought they were at least somewhat attractive to mate and have children who have attractive faces. The big breasted blond stereotype I only find attractive if she has a pretty face. But for me, the body that most men are attracted to I'm not, I'm attracted to overweight women. I don't repulse women with the stereotypical attractive body, but I find overweight women much more attractive. |
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SadAspy
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 14, 2010
Posts: 695
Location: U.S.A.
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| Posted: Tue Mar 22, 2011 5:57 pm Post subject: |
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I don't think I'm bad-looking either....I'm tall for one thing (6'2"), have hair, average build. I can't help but wonder if my glasses are a turnoff 
Still, women won't give me the time of day And it's not like I just approach hot women....I've asked out very average-looking (but still cute to me) ones. |
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emlion
Phoenix
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Joined: Sep 03, 2010
Posts: 17641
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| Posted: Tue Mar 22, 2011 6:10 pm Post subject: |
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glasses are sexy.  |
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sluice
Phoenix
Joined: Aug 16, 2007
Posts: 4560
Location: center of universe
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| Posted: Tue Mar 22, 2011 6:44 pm Post subject: |
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| Looks are fine, but they can't be empty. |
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Joker
Sinn Fein
Joined: Mar 20, 2011
Age: 24
Posts: 7593
Location: North Carolina The Tar Heel State :)
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| Posted: Tue Mar 22, 2011 7:22 pm Post subject: |
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| I just love women id be willing to sleep with any girl but dating is another story |
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poopylungstuffing
Lolliwink Slayer
Joined: Mar 09, 2007
Age: 37
Posts: 7618
Location: Snapdragon Ridge
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| Posted: Wed Mar 23, 2011 12:10 am Post subject: |
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I have facial symmetry, and am height weight proportionate for a rare point in my life...I get told I am pretty by strangers or people who I know from a remote distance since I am a facebook zombie. If looks matter, they only really matter in reverse to me...I sincerely do not like being involved with someone who is not attracted to me. This sucks...cause it keeps happening...other people will think I am attractive, but not the person I care about...I have a hard time with it....especially since I have lost a lot of weight..
I guess I should get over it if these people have dated me even though they had higher standards..they liked me for other reasons and that is good...
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Last edited by poopylungstuffing on Fri Mar 25, 2011 7:26 am; edited 1 time in total |
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MXH
TomCat
Joined: Jul 29, 2010
Age: 22
Posts: 12488
Location: Here i stand and face the rain
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| Posted: Wed Mar 23, 2011 12:20 am Post subject: |
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| yes but to an extent. |
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Basil
Emu Egg
Joined: Jul 21, 2008
Age: 21
Posts: 6
Location: Erie, Michigan, USA
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| Posted: Wed Mar 23, 2011 4:42 pm Post subject: Re: Do looks even matter for Aspies? |
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| galvatron wrote: | | I do not think I'm ugly or bad looking at all. From what I can tell, most women think that I'm decent looking. My problem is something else entirely: my inability to understand social norms and how to talk to a girl in a way to express that I' interested without coming across as creepy. |
I get told the exactly same thing, too.
And that's my major problem, too. Girls say I'm trying too strong or that I'm hitting on them when I'm just complimenting them. |
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CaptainTrips222
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 31, 2009
Age: 31
Posts: 3020
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| Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2011 10:59 am Post subject: |
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| poopylungstuffing wrote: | I have facial symmetry, and am height weight proportionate for a rare point in my life...I get told I am pretty by strangers or people who I know from a remote distance since I am a facebook zombie. If looks matter, they only really matter in reverse to me...I sincerely do not like being involved with someone who is not attracted to me. This sucks...cause it keeps happening...other people will think I am attractive, but not the person I care about...I have a hard time with it....especially since I have lost a lot of weight..
I guess I should get over it if these people have dated me even though they had higher standards..they liked me for other reasons and that is good... |
I think you're pretty too. I have ever since coming to this sight. |
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Lecks
Face Romancer
Joined: May 12, 2009
Age: 26
Posts: 4987
Location: Belgium
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| Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2011 12:09 pm Post subject: |
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| There has to be physical attraction, otherwise a romantic relationship wouldn't even register as a possibility for me. |
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CaptainTrips222
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 31, 2009
Age: 31
Posts: 3020
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| Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2011 1:56 pm Post subject: |
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| Really? I'd date you if I were gay. You're hot. |
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Superfly
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Mar 12, 2011
Posts: 35
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| Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2011 2:51 pm Post subject: |
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I am not aware of any studies on the potential partner preference of aspies, but I have seen a study about shy people. Shy people show a clear preference for beautiful people as their potential partners in comparison with non-shy people.
I'm willing to bet a small sum on aspies reacting in the same way.
Why? Because, infamously, aspies don't have the best social skills (shy people may not lack social skills but the end result is similar). Lets look at the two directions one at a time:
1. An aspie looking for a date: he is probably less aware of the social status, thoughts, character, mind of his various potential dates than the average NT. But he still has to choose (consciously or unconsciously) who to approach. Since the 'internal' data is not easily accessible, it seems likely that external features (ie. looks) will get a relatively higher weight.
2. The aspie as a potential date for someone else. A fair number of aspies have serious trouble approaching potential dates for various reasons (high anxiety, low self esteem, low social skills are common ones). Thus many relationships are initiated by the other person. Good looks come to play again because the usual highly valued date characters (confidence, sense of humour etc.) may not be easily observable even if the aspie has them.
This is, of course, just a wild hypothesis, and equally obviously not going to be valid for everyone even if it were statistically significant. Any particular person can have all sorts of preferences ranging from a demand for classical beauty, to being totally disinterested in the looks of a partnes, to an actual fetish for ugliness. You get all sorts  |
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Bethie
Take your hierarchical ethics elsewhere.
Joined: Jul 27, 2010
Age: 25
Posts: 2817
Location: My World, Highview, Louisville, Kentucky, USA, Earth, The Milky Way, Local Group, Local Supercluster
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| Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2011 5:37 pm Post subject: |
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OP, I can definitely empathize. Looks mean nothing to me.
I'd gladly date and marry an ogre if he loved me. I don't "get" physical/sexual attraction at all, though.
If it was correlated with Autism, I'd imagine it'd be related to:
1. Autistic difficulties with absorbing social norms, aesthetic preferences being one of them
2. Having great difficulty conforming to those social norms when they don't see the rationale behind them
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For there is another kind of violence, slower but just as deadly, destructive as the shot or the bomb in the night. This is the violence of institutions; indifference and inaction and slow decay. |
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albertwesker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Mar 23, 2011
Posts: 56
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| Posted: Tue Mar 29, 2011 9:36 pm Post subject: |
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i see far too many odd couples for me to believe that women care what guys look like, seriously i see fat guys with model like women all the time, anybody that has been paying attention should know that appearance is the last thing women care about
if a guy looks good, she will notice you and that is all
if you can't talk to her or convince her that you are a cool guy, she will want nothing to do with you, which is why some of us "hunky" aspie guys have no luck with women
i remember when i went to vote last year, this middle aged lady was staring at me the whole time, finally she said to me that i look like a model and am one of the best looking guys she ever saw in her life, older women have always complimented me and told me "the girls must love you" 
very flattering, but it's proof of how women don't care about looks for long and it's also proof of what a mental f**k up i am for never experiencing a woman, women in their 20's hardly look at me and make me feel invisible |
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JusSumBudi
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Mar 26, 2011
Posts: 70
Location: New Hampshire, USA
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| Posted: Tue Mar 29, 2011 11:12 pm Post subject: |
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| Girls always seemed to like me, but I'd always slip quickly into the friend zone. Good looks are pretty important if you don't have an outgoing personality and want to get noticed by women. |
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