katzefrau
heart of snow
Joined: Apr 12, 2010
Posts: 1833
Location: emerald city
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 Posted: Sun May 29, 2011 9:09 pm Post subject: Re: Being Compared to Male Aspies |
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| rabidmonkey4262 wrote: | | katzefrau wrote: | like many people do (including some diagnosticians), this woman by default attributes female behavior to emotional origins rather than neurological ones.
if your emotions do not suffice; some people will blame your mother's. see (long debunked) "refrigerator mother" theory.
| zen_mistress wrote: | | I think it is more socially acceptable for females to be shy and introverted than males. In fact women are encouraged to be demure. |
not only that, if a woman avoids or minimizes social interaction it will be assumed she is demure rather than being assumed she has social difficulty. especially if she's pretty.
same as what i said above, assuming the root of a behavior is emotional. |
Wait, by "emotional" you really mean "environmental" right? Because emotions are a direct product of our neurological makeup. Emotions are caused by our brains, so you can't really compare neurological vs. emotional because one begets the other. I'm assuming you were actually implying more of a nature vs. nurture comparison. |
hm. i meant that for example if a girl has a meltdown it will (more likely than if a boy does) be assumed to be an outburst of emotional reactiveness (springing from feelings toward another person) rather than a response to frustration or sensory input. however you would like to understand that. our brains cause everything we do, so i'm not sure how to go about making the distinction you've requested.
i think you've understood my meaning though.
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ValentineWiggin
Yup.
Joined: May 16, 2011
Posts: 4879
Location: Beneath my cat's paw
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| Posted: Mon May 30, 2011 11:53 am Post subject: |
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When I've avoided social interaction, I've been labelled a "stuck-up b*tch". 
I don't see nearly so many consequences for males who do the same- there is no female "lone wolf" role.
Most women are not "pretty", they are simply average, or even ugly, statistically.
I'm not about to start a "grass is greener" battle, though. It's just profoundly irritating to be told what your experiences are based on someone else's personal perceptions of what they think it's like to be female and Autistic.
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Kaizer
Snowy Owl
Joined: Apr 20, 2009
Age: 24
Posts: 130
Location: my brain meats
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| Posted: Mon Jun 13, 2011 8:19 am Post subject: |
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considering most women from birth are forced to be social and polite whether they want to or not explains
why your comunication skill may be better than some aspie boys.
It really irratates me when sometimes even women push on the stereotypes.
its mainly because women are allowed to be shy naive and taken advantage of in our society so they dont see it as a problem its quite difficult for most women with aspergers to get diagnosed the only reason i had it so easy was probably because i look so much like a boy lol  so dont worry about being a fraud its only our stereotyped sexist psychology departments that can be accused of that  |
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kahlua
Deinonychus
Joined: Apr 16, 2008
Posts: 344
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| Posted: Tue Jun 14, 2011 6:48 am Post subject: |
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| I've been reading the guide to aspergers by tony attwood, and he explain that girls are often better at imitating, therefore are able to mask\act well enough in social situations to appear almost NT. |
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LadySera
Velociraptor
Joined: Jun 02, 2011
Posts: 417
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| Posted: Tue Jun 14, 2011 3:16 pm Post subject: |
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| That video was really very interesting. |
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Ai_Ling
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 16, 2010
Age: 24
Posts: 1845
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| Posted: Wed Jun 15, 2011 2:57 am Post subject: |
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| kahlua wrote: | | I've been reading the guide to aspergers by tony attwood, and he explain that girls are often better at imitating, therefore are able to mask\act well enough in social situations to appear almost NT. |
you know I listened to a whole interview by attwood about female aspies, all the imitating chameleon like behavior really confuses me. I am not a chameleon by any means in fact one of my biggest problems has been pulling off social skills. I understand way more then I exhibit. Like if someone gave me a situation and asked me what do I do, I could easily tell them. Does it mean I can actually do it, no. It seems the imitation and chameleon behavior is pulling off NT like behavior with little understanding of why NTs do it. |
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Animegal86
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Oct 18, 2011
Posts: 25
Location: Georgia
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| Posted: Thu Oct 20, 2011 9:34 pm Post subject: Re: Being Compared to Male Aspies |
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| melcat85 wrote: | | I was diagnosed with Asperger's by a doctor, and attend a support group for young adults on the spectrum. The director of the group, an older woman who works with people on the spectrum, said she doesn't believe I am on the spectrum. She believes my symptoms are due to a mood disorder, and that the sensory issues, social issues, rocking, and difficulty making eye contact are all psychological, and results from having a rough childhood. She says I converse well with her, "unlike the boys." I've had another person say the same thing to me. I converse well with people who I trust! Anyways, I haven't seen the doctor who diagnosed me in a year, and now I'm paranoid that I have the wrong diagnosis. I personally think I'm on the spectrum, but if others think I'm not what if they're right? I don't want to be a fraud! Has anyone else had this issue? Is it just because female symptoms are so different and less pronounced than males? Or am I really that crazy?? |
You are not crazy. Girls with Asperger are different than a boy with asperger. We women are expected to be social and fit different standards than men. We deal with our symptoms differently. A guy can focus on something or even make an outurst and be shrugged off. When a woman with AS does that, we get strange looks. She is just not informed or as understanding I think of an Aspergirl. Look up books by Rudy Simone. Her books are really helping me discover more about myself as an Aspergirl. Another thing Asperger Syndrome is not Psychological, it is neurological and something you were born with! |
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Eve01
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Apr 29, 2010
Posts: 29
Location: Europe
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| Posted: Fri Oct 21, 2011 2:25 pm Post subject: |
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This is why I rarely tell anyone about my asperger. People always know the 'boy' aspie, but not the girl version. I do think there are some big differences. No wonder I was diagnosed in my 20's even though my parents already took me to doctors when I was barely 2 years old!
I too doubt my 'aspergerness' all the time. It's because I see things on tv or read stories online about aspies who are much less socially developed than I am. I have had the ability to develop my social skills and 'acting talent' to the extend where I can appear normal. Appearantly this isn't a common ability for men. |
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twich
Toucan
Joined: Sep 13, 2011
Age: 28
Posts: 299
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| Posted: Fri Oct 21, 2011 3:30 pm Post subject: |
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| I've been compared to other females in this way by ignorant people who think they're experts because they know how to google "Asperger syndrome" or because they've known one other female with it, etc. I think the problem is being compared to other people on the spectrum in general, not just to men. |
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Meow101
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 17, 2010
Posts: 1699
Location: USA
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| Posted: Fri Oct 21, 2011 10:42 pm Post subject: |
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Interesting video. The girl who wanted to be a marine biologist reminded me of me at that age. I think many girls and women with ASDs have more difficulty getting a diagnosis because we do get more "coaching" on how to "get along" than boys do. I'm pretty good at faking NT when I have to. Trouble is, it takes more energy than I feel I have a lot of the time.
~Kate
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fragaria
Blue Jay
Joined: May 19, 2011
Posts: 77
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| Posted: Sat Oct 22, 2011 3:10 am Post subject: |
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This week I talked a long time with a woman who told me she had an autistic son and that she now could easily recognize other autistic people.
When I said I had also autistic traits she clearly didn't believe me. |
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LittleBlackCat
Toucan
Joined: Sep 11, 2011
Posts: 266
Location: England
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| Posted: Sat Oct 22, 2011 2:54 pm Post subject: |
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| Interestingly, I had the opposite happen to me this week. I met someone new and after two days AS came up in the conversation (I was comparing it to ADHD as something you don't "grow out of"). She said she had a son with AS and had been wondering if I had it as I was so similar to him in the way I related to people (I am not diagnosed). |
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DreamSofa
Sea Gull
Joined: Jun 20, 2011
Posts: 207
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| Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2011 11:53 am Post subject: |
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I think the question is interesting and is a reflection of how males are the starting point for a lot of medical research. For example, the symptoms commonly listed as being typical of a heart attack relate more to men than for women who often present with different symptoms.
I also remember reading that dosages of medication are often calibrated for men, rather than for women, who typically have smaller bodies and greater body fat than men.
The idea that Asperger's is a disorder that presents almost entirely in males was one of the reasons I put off seeking a diagnosis for so many years. (I'm female.) |
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KnarlyDUDE09
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 24, 2011
Age: 17
Posts: 669
Location: London, UK
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| Posted: Sat Dec 17, 2011 6:43 pm Post subject: Being compared to MALE ASPIES |
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I get this a lot from my NT sister; she strongly insists that I do not have Asperger's because I'm not like the Aspie boy in her drama class.
I've so badly wanted to say to her, "Once you've met an aspie, you've met ONE aspie."- not all aspies are the same (Aspergers is one of the many diagnoses on the Autistic Spectrum)
...I just can't get over the fact that she thinks she knows about Asperger's Syndrome more that myself!- after all, that is one of my 'special interests (obsessions), that I spend hours on end ritually researching, daily.
...I really feel like mailing her pages and pages of Asperger's info- particularly the differences in male and female traits!- maybe that'll show her how obsessive I am with my interests, and therefore no longer dismiss my claims...  |
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CockneyRebel
Mick Avory, Sensitive brown-eyed Sweet Pea
Joined: Jul 18, 2004
Age: 38
Posts: 87360
Location: In a quiet and peaceful garden, where gentle Mick Avory-like Sweet Peas grow.
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