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| Would you prefer an NT child or one on the spectrum |
| NT |
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48% |
[ 51 ] |
| On the spectrum |
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51% |
[ 55 ] |
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| Total Votes : 106 |
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fragileclover
Phoenix
Joined: May 22, 2009
Posts: 505
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 Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2012 11:51 am Post subject: |
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I hope to have a child or children who are NT. I think like any would-be parent, I want my children to have all the things I didn't have. I want my kids to walk into a room and command attention...not fade into the shadows.
Also, I think having an Aspie as a parent would give an NT child some of the more positive aspie traits, like unique interests and talents. I've met several very interesting NTs...and they all have very unique, unorthodox parents. Imagine...a child who is incredibly interesting and also able to hold a conversation! 
_________________
Aspie Quiz: AS - 141/200, NT - 77/200 (Very likely an Aspie)
AQ: 34/50 (Aspie range)
EQ: 32 / SQ: 68 (Extreme Systemizing / AS or HFA)
Diagnosed with AS and Anxiety Disorder - NOS on 03/21/2012 |
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Jaz1787
Sea Gull
Joined: Nov 03, 2010
Age: 26
Posts: 220
Location: Australia
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| Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2012 10:12 pm Post subject: |
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i don't know 
i think my partner and i are both aspie.
i've never understood my sister's way of thinking. both of them are strange to me. i'm worried if i have kids they will be like them, and i won't be able to relate 
i am hoping i have boys. even if they are NT i should be able to get along with them
i will love any child i may someday have.
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In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move. (Douglas Adams) |
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skenasis
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Aug 12, 2011
Age: 24
Posts: 183
Location: Geelong, Australia
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| Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2012 6:09 am Post subject: |
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| I have no preference. A NT child would be able to fit in better, and not have such social difficulties, but on the flip side, I'd be able to relate better to a child on the spectrum. Come what may, I'll love it/them all the same. |
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Ashuahhe
Phoenix
Joined: Jan 30, 2011
Age: 22
Posts: 693
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| Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2012 3:32 am Post subject: |
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I would like to have a NT child. I don't want him/her to go through what I have experienced. Growing up was hellish  |
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EmmaUK12
Spork
Joined: May 19, 2011
Age: 21
Posts: 2748
Location: England
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| Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2012 1:58 pm Post subject: |
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| I'm not going to lie, i worry that they will have AS, which sounds awful i know but it is so so hard havig AS that i wouldn't want them to go through the same as me, however if they did have AS i could at least say i understood and do my best to make it as easy as possible for them. |
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Jaz1787
Sea Gull
Joined: Nov 03, 2010
Age: 26
Posts: 220
Location: Australia
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| Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2012 4:33 pm Post subject: |
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i suppose i must be luckier than a lot of people on here, who are worried their children may be like them.
i struggled a bit at school socially (ok so sometimes i was completely miserable, but not all the time), but i still had a few friends. i did pretty well in subjects i enjoyed but i got bored and distracted easily when i wasn't interested. i was never any good at sports, but the one i did enjoy (horse riding) i still do. i finished school and did uni (leaving idiots behind at school and studying with other people who wanted to learn was so awesome!). met a nice guy, he's still around today. got a professional job. got a mortgage. started post grad and got a new professional job. quit post-grad, not interesting enough for the effort (though i am looking at a different postgrad degree now).
when you look at the bare bones of it, i didn't turn out too badly.
sure i did a few abnormal things. ocd hand washing. collecting everything in sight. disappointed my mum a bit when she thought my interest in nice material would lead to a fashion-interest daughter when really all it meant was i like nice feeling fabric 
when i told mum that i thought i was AS, first offf she was a bit offended. she had worked disability and child care for a long time, and she said "don't you think i would have noticed?". later when i mentioned i was worried about having a child like me, she pointed out that i hadn't turned out too badly anyway
must we always focus on the negative?
i'm more worried about having a child that is worse, more shut off. i met a little boy who was much further down the spectrum than i would be. he came over and st next next to me on a park bench at the dog park and gave my dogs new names. he was beautiful. a little boy i used to work with at childcare when i was in highschool was more shut off, you needed to leave him be with his cars quite bit of the time. i'm sure he was a lot of work for his parents, but he was still a great kid.
what i worry about most (and a lot of parents of disabled kids are) is what happens to them when the child outlives the parent, an they can't be there anymore
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In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move. (Douglas Adams) |
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HiraikotsuRider
Butterfly
Joined: Mar 31, 2012
Posts: 12
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| Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 5:37 pm Post subject: |
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| In some ways I'd love my children to not be uncomfortable around people and to fit in and have lots of friends. But in other ways I would want to know how my children think and what they need and why. |
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Bookgirl14
Hummingbird
Joined: Nov 10, 2010
Posts: 21
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| Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2012 10:36 pm Post subject: |
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| Honestly, I am a little afraid that I will have a child with AS because I don't want them to have to deal with the teasing, rejection, and difficulties that I have gone through. But I would still love a child with AS just as much as I would love a NT child, and maybe if my child had AS, they might not have to go through as many difficulties as I did because by the time I have kids, the world will hopefully accept people with AS more. |
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tomboy4good
An Equal Opportunity Annoyer
Joined: Apr 15, 2008
Posts: 1608
Location: Irritating people everywhere
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| Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2012 11:06 pm Post subject: Re: Are you afraid of having a child be on the spectrum? |
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| amusedviews wrote: | This is for women and men, even, who WANT children. I do know that there are plenty of AS people who don't want children. So please no comments like "Oh doesn't matter to me I don't want children."
But if you do have more of an opinion than that please post it.
I had a very rough time in school. Most of my teachers liked me but thought I was lazy and just didn't work hard enough. I was made fun of because of thinking differently. I was spoken down to by many a special ed teacher. Not all but man I have seen some special ed teachers who needed to find another line of work due to their persistent negative attitude toward the students. Sorry off topic.
And I don't say that for sympathy as I am sure many of you faced similar problems. But when I think of when I am older and have a child, I am terrified that they will suffer a similar fate. I very badly want an NT child so that they dont go through that. I know that even if they were NT they could still go through the same issues but the likeliness would be much less for an NT.
I am not sorry though to have Aspergers. It makes me who I am and how creative and out of the box I can be. But still the world is much easier for an NT since that is how the world is wired and I would prefer my child have an easier go than me.
But what does everyone here think? Would you prefer an NT or a child on the spectrum? |
I voted for a child who is NT. It's moot really since both of my kids are also on the spectrum. But since I have had my own bad experiences due to AS, & have been witness to both my childrens' struggles, I would have rather that they were born normal. Or if I'd have had a choice, I would have chosen no children had I known that my issues were genetic, that could be passed down to another generation. I had no desire to bring any child into this harsh world where they would face the very same issues I went through. Seems cruel to subject any child to abuse.
_________________
If I do something right, no one remembers. If I do something
wrong, no one forgets.
Aspie Score: 173/200, NT score 31/200: very likely an Aspie
5/18/11: New Aspie test: 72/72
DX: Anxiety plus ADHD/Aspergers: inconclusive |
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League_Girl
Proud mamma
Joined: Feb 05, 2010
Posts: 13675
Location: My house
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| Posted: Thu Apr 05, 2012 12:13 am Post subject: |
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| AspieRogue wrote: | | League_Girl wrote: | | Kid on the spectrum who be mild AS. I prefer mild. But I'd also be happy with an NT child. So far mine is normal and I am happy the way he is. I vowed to myself I won't be disappointed if he turns out to not be on the spectrum. Besides it feels wrong to hope for a special needs child. Why would someone want their kid to have a disability? |
I have a really big problem with that attitude. And aspies like myself are working hard to change it. I also don't feel kindly towards aspies who wish for their children to be NT. This is able-ism at it's worst.  |
Why not direct that attitude towards other aspies too in this thread who are fearing their kid be an aspie too? They are being abliests I tell you. |
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League_Girl
Proud mamma
Joined: Feb 05, 2010
Posts: 13675
Location: My house
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| Posted: Thu Apr 05, 2012 12:40 am Post subject: |
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| AspieRogue wrote: | | League_Girl wrote: | | AspieRogue wrote: | | League_Girl wrote: | | Kid on the spectrum who be mild AS. I prefer mild. But I'd also be happy with an NT child. So far mine is normal and I am happy the way he is. I vowed to myself I won't be disappointed if he turns out to not be on the spectrum. Besides it feels wrong to hope for a special needs child. Why would someone want their kid to have a disability? |
I have a really big problem with that attitude. And aspies like myself are working hard to change it. I also don't feel kindly towards aspies who wish for their children to be NT. This is able-ism at it's worst. |
Why not direct that attitude towards other aspies too in this thread who are fearing their kid be an aspie too? They are being abliests I tell you. |
I'm actually directly it to ALL other aspies ITT who are fearing that their child be an aspie. |
Okay. You do realize just because a child turns out to have a disability does not mean the parents will love him or her less? |
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melisa27
Emu Egg
Joined: Mar 10, 2012
Posts: 7
Location: under a bridge where the chocolate muffin's roam
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| Posted: Thu Apr 05, 2012 11:40 am Post subject: Reblogging> this post |
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| Go a head abor me all you please because I would have been more grateful for both myself and for my own children to have been Nt so screw your opinion. AspieRouge. Leauge_Girl or anyone else that won't agree with me. There is a major lack of funding for all people on the HFA spectrum threw private agencies and I was misdiagnosed for a large majority of my life span until a year and a half ago out out today. I'm replying to this post out of my past experience with our society and the large budget cuts all over the world besides the bay area where I live in. And had to go threw that painful process of being sterilized just to stop the spread of autism. It beats getting an abortion done any day of the week. I'm well aware of this either being in the norm of T.M.I. or NSW or whatever else you may call it. But your forgetting the fact that most if not all Aspies feel like lower functioning individuals whom are shunned upon by our own societies threw history as well as the media. This discouragement only makes all people HFA still less understood and even feel worse about themselves. And how most families feel that have special needed children. THERE THE WORST. |
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