Burnbridge
Phoenix
Joined: Aug 25, 2011
Age: 37
Posts: 971
Location: Columbus, Ohio
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 Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2011 3:04 am Post subject: Re: Is extreme social isolation normal for Aspergers? |
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| Sweetleaf wrote: | | .I find it more uncomfortable to try to interact with people on the phone than in real life. |
Me too. On the hone, there's this disembodied voice that's hard to focus on. I keep looking at things and going nonverbal, and then missing what was said.
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No dx yet ... AS=171/200,NT=13/200 ... EQ=9/SQ=128 ... AQ=39 ... MB=IntJ |
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NathanealWest
Toucan
Joined: Jan 05, 2011
Age: 26
Posts: 258
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| Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2011 3:41 am Post subject: |
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| I used to be extremely socially isolated because I was centered around believing that being alone makes me stronger. I've pretty much kicked off of that belief and my isolation isn't so encompassing anymore. I have friends. |
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Mxzysptlik
Blue Jay
Joined: Feb 15, 2012
Age: 22
Posts: 99
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| Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 3:19 am Post subject: |
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| I was socially isolated in high school until my senior year and then I began to open up more with people. Back then ABC would put on a film every Saturday and that would be the highlight of my week. Finally someone pulled me out of my house, one of my friends, and I began hanging out with people but I was still very much afraid of social interaction. The thing that saved me was my looks. From what I've been told I'm very attractive like an 8 or 9 so people want to be around me because of that. If I were ugly I would probably be locked away in my room watching kung foo movies like one of my uncles who also has Asperger's. What people have to understand is that social anxiety for aspies is probably environmental, in that we develop the condition because we're treated like sh** throughout our lives which makes us scared of social interactions. Not being ugly and being thought of as a genius basically allowed me to tap an endless supply of nt's that taught me how to pretend to be "normal". Basically I live my life like a formula, I've compiled so much information on "normal" behavior that now I can convince them I'm just like them...most of the time at least. |
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Dillogic
you know how it goes
Joined: Nov 25, 2011
Posts: 3322
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| Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 8:57 am Post subject: |
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Probably.
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Just a simple man trying to survive (who's asocial and doesn't accept PMs). |
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Joe90
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 24, 2010
Posts: 8237
Location: Great Britain
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| Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 9:59 am Post subject: |
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People make me anxious, but I am not going to shut myself away from people all together. I really don't think that would solve all my problems. It will just make me even more miserable and lonely.
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Real gender: Female
From: East UK
Age: 23 |
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hanyo
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 01, 2011
Posts: 3446
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| Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 10:19 am Post subject: |
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I don't socialize and rarely leave my house. When I do leave my house I rarely speak to people and don't go out for the purpose of socializing. When I leave my home it's to obtain items or get things done, like laundry.
In the past week I only left the house once to go to the laundromat. I go early in the day on weekdays so I'm the only one there when I go.
I don't feel a need to go out and socialize more. Maybe I'm schizoid. |
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LongLostSelf
Raven
Joined: Jan 31, 2012
Age: 38
Posts: 107
Location: Newcastle UK
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| Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 11:01 am Post subject: |
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| AdamDZ wrote: | | Dark_Lord_2008 wrote: | | I remain a young boy trapped inside a man's body and that makes life very hard. Life before the age of 12 was simple and easy. Life after the age of 12 has been an endless nightmare for me. |
I never quite thought that way, but yeah... this describes me too basically. |
This describes me perfectly too. I've always felt this. I'm 37 , married with 2 kids and I still feel like this.
I've worked with people much younger than myself and whilst taking to them I have had the feeling of myself being much younger than them, the same feeling I had as a 12 year old taking to an adult |
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unduki
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 22, 2011
Posts: 651
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| Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 12:26 pm Post subject: |
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I think extreme isolation is something any human would resort to when they feel weak, overwhelmed, picked on or left out.
I'm in a support group for people with a chronic illness and isolation is a common refuge for this group as well.
Extreme isolation might feel comfortable right now but in the long run, it's not beneficial to anyone. People need people - and dogs.
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass; it's about learning to dance in the rain. |
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Magdalena
Sea Gull
Joined: Feb 07, 2012
Posts: 205
Location: United States
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| Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 1:08 pm Post subject: Re: Is extreme social isolation normal for Aspergers? |
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| Dark_Lord_2008 wrote: | Is extreme social isolation normal for Aspergers?
You seldom interact with strangers because of the stranger danger rule you hold onto since you were a child.
The only people you interact with in the real world are close family members who visit now and then or by phone.
Interacting with people online to you is just the same as talking and interacting with people face to face. You find it uncomfortable to interact with people face to face because it creates extreme anxiety and makes you feel frustrated that they do not understand you.
Is extreme social isolation normal for Aspergers? |
I seldom become more than acquaintances with strangers, and it's not just because of the "stranger danger" rule. Sometimes it is, but oftentimes it isn't.
I don't always feel "extreme anxiety" when interacting with people face-to-face. Occasionally I do, but not always. Most of the time though, I do find it uncomfortable, and I do have significant difficulty communicating with them. I'm fairly patient with most people- otherwise, I just make myself scarce around them in as polite and respectful a way as possible. In fact, they are usually the ones who grow frustrated with me, more than anything. Why do you think Asperger's is classified as a disorder? Because to NTs, we are the ones with the issues, not NTs. And since the NTs are more powerful and greater in number than ASD people, they get to call the shots.
Generally, I am very well-spoken over the internet and in writing. In person, however, I can barely hold an in-person conversation with anyone outside my immediate family. When I do, it is very obviously fake, and I suspect that people view this as a sign of weakness and therefore, hold me in low esteem.
_________________
Male-bodied pansexual and panromantic.
Your Aspie score: 130 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 90 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie
EQ Score: 37/100 ("low empathy") |
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Atomsk
Bass Fiend
Joined: Apr 10, 2008
Age: 24
Posts: 1539
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| Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 2:59 pm Post subject: Re: Is extreme social isolation normal for Aspergers? |
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| Sweetleaf wrote: | | Well I have friends that aren't related to me so I guess this sterotype does not apply to everyone with Aspergers. Also, I prefer to interact with people face to face then over the phone or internet........so I guess I proved another sterotype wrong........I find it more uncomfortable to try to interact with people on the phone than in real life. |
I also prefer face-to-face contact to contact over phone or internet.
As far as the OP's question goes, I have a decent amount of friends, but a low number of very close friends. Still, I do have some, and I do stuff with them occasionally. Most of my "doing stuff with people outside the house" stuff comes from band practices, though. |
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tall-p
Velociraptor
Joined: Dec 26, 2010
Age: 71
Posts: 485
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| Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 6:35 pm Post subject: Re: Is extreme social isolation normal for Aspergers? |
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| Dark_Lord_2008 wrote: | | Is extreme social isolation normal for Aspergers? |
I have come to think that I don't know how "to be" a friend. Friends are totally involved with one another's stories. Like how I can get totally absorbed with White Wing paper airplanes, or building a model boat... friends get into the lives of their friends like that. We just aren't wired like that. When I had kids I was like that though. It was easy, natural, for me to anticipate their needs and wants, and I could look down the road for them, and anticipate hazards, and positive outcomes.
Long ago, when I lived in a 3rd world country, with the poor folk there in a one room shack, a little kid friended me, and followed me around for months. One time she took my glasses and wore them for a while... she wanted to see the world like I see it she said.
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Everything is falling.
Last edited by tall-p on Sun Feb 26, 2012 6:44 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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eigerpere
Deinonychus
Joined: Feb 24, 2012
Posts: 371
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| Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 6:41 pm Post subject: |
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| unduki wrote: | I think extreme isolation is something any human would resort to when they feel weak, overwhelmed, picked on or left out.
I'm in a support group for people with a chronic illness and isolation is a common refuge for this group as well.
Extreme isolation might feel comfortable right now but in the long run, it's not beneficial to anyone. People need people - and dogs. |
Nice points and very true. |
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Trainbuff
Sea Gull
Joined: Feb 13, 2011
Posts: 235
Location: New York City
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| Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 6:49 pm Post subject: |
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I think I have extreme social isolation, I'm too screwed up by AS and other medical conditions that I don't bother to talk to people in IRL unless its necessary (Family members, Work, ordering food at a fast food restaurant).
Not to mention I have really bad anxiety and people seem to think I'm the R word and I seem to be get noticed/judged negatively by random passerby's out in public.
And worst of all, I can't speak clearly and my voice sounds weird, man I got dealt some shitty cards in life. |
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Venerab1e1
Toucan
Joined: Mar 07, 2011
Age: 27
Posts: 278
Location: Kentucky USA
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| Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 6:50 pm Post subject: |
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| I know it's normal for me to be socially isolated. I actually have a couple of friends but for me thats too many. I don't seem to get lonely anymore. |
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Desurage
Butterfly
Joined: Feb 21, 2012
Posts: 16
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| Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 7:44 pm Post subject: |
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I spent most of my life in social isolation. I still don't know if I even have asperger's for sure even though every test says so because I'm so anxious all the time around people. And I push myself really hard all the time too. It hurts alot, but it feels good when I break a new barrier. I managed to move out recently thanks to a mental health transitional living program and its done wonders for me in a lot of ways. I still feel like sh** all the time and looking at people makes me feel like I'm being judged harshly.
It takes a long time for me to get comfortable around people. But I just met this girl a few weeks ago and it's been a bit hard but I got past a whole lot of sh** using my coping and communication skills I learned.
However, today I learned I didn't get anywhere meaningful and I feel terrible about it. Like I tried so hard and have nothing to show for it.
It's frustrating. And its hard because I can't stop trying anymore because I care too much now. Back when I was alone, things were so much easier. It was just a little whisper in the back of my head all the time that I was miserable. Now I feel like I'm slapping my head against a brick wall.
I recently started a blog and the posts feel like sh**. I'm not thinking like my life is bad or anything like that, but I want to cry right now and I feel like its not possible. My hope feels so ruined.
And the worst part is, she didn't even leave me. She didn't even friendzone me, she toys with me still and I know she's a good girl even though she's a bit troubled but she simply isn't giving me what I need. And I can't tell her I want more from her because now I love her too much.
I just texted her and finally faced the issue. I want an answer so bad and I'm just thinking the whole time that it would be so much better if I just didn't talk to her and waited for her to do something. |
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