Teenagers on the spectrum hating authority
I am not at all sure what is going on with your son. There could be so many things. Thirteen is the age where they start to notice the opposite sex and often develop a sense of idealism.
I will tell you about a 12 year old autistic boy who I know and love. He is not a relative, but if he needed a guardian I'd do it. (Oh help me.) He is obsessed with all things military, specifically soviet military. He sincerely dislikes the United States. He is paranoid. He always has a sense that someone is out to get him. He frequently carries a knife. I have confiscated several. I am one of the few people he respects because I'm not afraid of him. He's fairly convinced I could take him in a fight. I'm not so convinced but I'll never let him know that. More importantly, he's convinced that I'm bad enough to take anybody who could threaten him. (All 5'2" of me. If you listen to him and don't understand him it's easy to believe that he is a little psychopath. With the wrong handling it could happen, don't get me wrong. This Bad A little dude fosters kittens. He's actually rather gentle if you get to know him. His overwhelming motivation is FEAR, not violence.
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Aspie 176/200 NT 34/200 Very likely an Aspie
AQ 41
Not diagnosed, but the shoe fits
10 yo dd on the spectrum
Sports he gets on good, I don't force him only encourage and he goes happily, of course there is problems but manageable.
Its like he is letting of steam, or sometimes in conversations, not sure if it's to get reaction from me and his dad. I do feel its his own thinking but its worrying as its constant. I also think that what he watches on tv he believes he is only allowed to watch age appropriate movies etc.
He is also involved in drama and loves it so I thought he would understand fiction and tv is only entertainment like acting on stage. At the same time he knows how to behave I never get complaints from school or activities regarding inappropriate behaviour.
I would like to try and curb this talk, obsession, behaviour maybe its just a phase. Maybe getting a police officer to speak with him might work. He seems to think that I am his mother and what would I know about things, like if he is ill he won't accept my explanation and thinks every time he is unwell we need to go to the doctor. we can also have this difficulty assisting with homework I am not a teacher etc.
Thanks for your replies.
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A mother/person looking for understanding!
SylviaLynn, that sounds like my son at times, I think fear has a lot to do with it. He doesn't carry knifes, he wants to be stronger than me and does try and initiate a fight. He tells me he will beat me up but I always explain that he must never do this that I am his mum and he must protect me like I protect him. He has never been violent to me, likes to squeeze me hurts at times but its sensory problems. But does speak about been physical to me constantly, I don't know why as no one in house speaks in this way.
If someone treats him in way as he feels its wrong then he is verbally aggressive and wants to really hurt the person. He never acts it out but it could bother him from days or longer.
Apple_in_my_Eye I also agree with your explanation, we have used social stories and have found them helpful at times.
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A mother/person looking for understanding!
I was in high school during the 60's & one day I came to school wearing beads, as in hippies. The principle immediately took me in his office & demanded that I remove them. When I refused you could just see his face getting redder & redder from anger...he opens a desk drawer, takes out a wooden paddle, & tells me to stand up & put my elbows on his desk...I got 7 licks. I just looked at him & left his office still wearing the beads.
This was an authority figure. Later he couldn't figure why I didn't come to him for protection from bullying.
Too many years later, I still have fantasies about revenge.
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I think I might have an idea that could help you a little but it's going to take time to take effect.
If he loves movies and identifies with a few "heroes", what you might need to do is actively look for movies with very smart characters who resolve conflict with words, by outsmarting their opponents.
I remember reading a lot of shakespeare as a teenager, and yes they do slay one another but I was mainly amazed at the witty exchanges and the stingy retorts.
I remember laughing out loud at "by my hat, here come the capulets..." "by my heel, I care not!" they're self assured and smart mouthed.
Of course he might hate shakespeare and there are certainly a lot of modern movies with good examples of heroes who don't need to resort to violence to win an argument.
Wow. Hostile, much?
Oh - and I'm on the spectrum but have never had a problem with authority. Are you going to tell me that I shouldn't be posting here, too?
Last edited by DreamSofa on 25 Dec 2011, 5:37 am, edited 1 time in total.
ScientistOfSound
Veteran
Joined: 21 May 2011
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,014
Location: In an evil testing facility
Most teenagers hate authority because authority is corrupt. Teenagers don't want to be model citizens and have 9 to 5 jobs like the governments wants them to, they want to sleep with whoever they want, do drugs, party and enjoy life to the full. And you know what, there is nothing wrong with that. I don't care if I'm 17 or 70, I'll always be against authority, until the day I leave this doomed earth
THINK FOR YOURSELF...
QUESTION AUTHORITY!
-Timothy Leary
Last edited by ScientistOfSound on 25 Dec 2011, 8:13 am, edited 1 time in total.
I have a distrust of authority because I've seen how it can corrupt and consume a person's humanity, and how destructive it can be on a large enough scale. Authority always needs to be scrutinized in order to ensure you don't let them put a tighter leash over you. Freedom dies when no-one cares and let's authority dictate their lives utterly without question.
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"Have a nice apocalypse" - Southland Tales
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