Nikadee43
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Oct 16, 2011
Posts: 62
Location: Seattle
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 Posted: Thu May 10, 2012 2:33 pm Post subject: |
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| Sweetleaf wrote: | | I get what you're saying....for me its very hard to be open about that sort of thing. For me its hard because growing up I got used to people picking on me and proceeding to do it even more when it became apparent I was becoming upset about it. So I started trying to bottle things up not to mention there are times I have opened up to people only to have them totally mis-understand. But yeah then another big thing is its not like it's fun to spill out how horrible you feel to someone and risk bringing them down to......its certainly easier to be approached by someone as that indicates they actually do have time to care otherwise it could go either way and sometimes safer than sorry feels better. At least that's my perspective on it. |
I've been bottling things up since I was a kid. I think it could be a mixed between of literally not knowing how to verbally express how I was feeling and not being raised in an environment where expression of those feelings wasn't fully supported. for me, my mother and other family members were the bullies, so I avoided them as much as I could. It's always been easier for me to open up to my friends more than my own family members, but in the past when I've tried to open up about my problems, the response was more or less dismissive. So I guess learned not to talk about that stuff until someone asked, unless it was someone I really trusted. It's such a tough/strange position. I can't just start talking about it because I don't know the words to use or can't fully understand what I'm feeling, so I withdraw; but when I do start talking I don't know how to handle the responses I get when it's not what I was expecting, which only makes me withdraw even more. |
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Sweetleaf
Metalhead
Joined: Jan 07, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 14828
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
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| Posted: Thu May 10, 2012 3:05 pm Post subject: |
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| Nikadee43 wrote: | | Sweetleaf wrote: | | I get what you're saying....for me its very hard to be open about that sort of thing. For me its hard because growing up I got used to people picking on me and proceeding to do it even more when it became apparent I was becoming upset about it. So I started trying to bottle things up not to mention there are times I have opened up to people only to have them totally mis-understand. But yeah then another big thing is its not like it's fun to spill out how horrible you feel to someone and risk bringing them down to......its certainly easier to be approached by someone as that indicates they actually do have time to care otherwise it could go either way and sometimes safer than sorry feels better. At least that's my perspective on it. |
I've been bottling things up since I was a kid. I think it could be a mixed between of literally not knowing how to verbally express how I was feeling and not being raised in an environment where expression of those feelings wasn't fully supported. for me, my mother and other family members were the bullies, so I avoided them as much as I could. It's always been easier for me to open up to my friends more than my own family members, but in the past when I've tried to open up about my problems, the response was more or less dismissive. So I guess learned not to talk about that stuff until someone asked, unless it was someone I really trusted. It's such a tough/strange position. I can't just start talking about it because I don't know the words to use or can't fully understand what I'm feeling, so I withdraw; but when I do start talking I don't know how to handle the responses I get when it's not what I was expecting, which only makes me withdraw even more. |
Yeah I tried talking to my mom about some of my issues but she got all dismissive and frustrated..and clearly does not see trying to make it in college, looking for jobs, having applied for SS, or going to counseling as trying to do anything. So now naturally the last thing I want to do is try to open up to her more.
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It's like alice in wonderland except, my names not alice and this is the real world not a dream. |
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treblecake
Deinonychus
Joined: May 13, 2012
Age: 17
Posts: 317
Location: Australia
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| Posted: Mon May 14, 2012 12:10 pm Post subject: |
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Yeah I understand how you feel.
I've always had trouble opening up to people, I just hate that feeling of vulnerability and I only feel comfortable talking about feelings to people I feel comfortable around is basically no one. I've tried talking to my mum about how I'm scared of certain social interactions but she just tells me to stop being stupid and immature. |
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