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techstepgenr8tion
that chatty American
Joined: Feb 07, 2005
Posts: 14839
Location: A beautiful vector among many
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 Posted: Fri Mar 02, 2012 11:22 am Post subject: |
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| Grisha wrote: | | Tequila wrote: | | Grisha wrote: | Thanks for the pep-talk!  |
I thought you were coming to Britain, Eric? Any further information on that? LMK if owt changes, won't you? |
I'm still planning on it, I *really* need to get away, but I'm moving in April so I keep having to push it back, I absolutely must avoid the Olympics at all costs so May-June looks likely.
I'm thinking about hiring a motorhome and just driving it "wherever" for a week or two... |
One word of caution - if you've never been to Gold Coast, QLD Aus it might be worth the trip one of these days. Only danger is you might expatriate. |
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Solvejg
i wear a fez now, fez's are cool
Joined: Mar 03, 2011
Posts: 6180
Location: gallifrey
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| Posted: Fri Mar 02, 2012 4:58 pm Post subject: |
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I give up too. I cant even keep an aspie guy. I am the most social inept person on the planet. >.<
How socially inept am I? I have been at uni a week and I have not even had one person talk to me except the obese guy who was trying to look over my shoulder and copy my resonses in Maths.  |
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bruinsy33
Velociraptor
Joined: Aug 01, 2011
Posts: 443
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| Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2012 12:50 am Post subject: Re: Social problems with relationships |
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| questor wrote: | I prefer being solo, and yes, you can be happy and complete as "one" person. People who think they need to be with other people all of the time in order to be happy, are too needy. My younger brother's ex girl friend was like that. Unfortunately, the shack-up led to a shacklet, and neither parent was suited to being a parent, so my nephew was raised by his maternal grand parents. People who aren't suited to parenthood should keep their legs crossed, or at least use birth control. And I am not referring to the murder of the pre-born.
Back on topic--before looking for a partner, you really need to first find yourself. That is, develop who and what you are. Trying to do that while also developing a relationship tends to put a strain on the relationship. It is very hard to be with someone who is still in the process of growing into who they are to become, because the relationship starts with the people being one thing, and then at least one of the people changes. They may not like what each has changed to.
Never forget that being solo is a viable option. You can do what you want when you want, within the limits of work, appointments, etc. You also don't have to put up with difficult people much when you are solo.
I am basically a hermit, and live alone, my phone is hooked to an answer machine to screen calls, and I don't have to pick up if I don't want to, and I get to not invite people over, since I don't go much for company. I also get to not attend parties and family get-togethers, unless I choose to go. I have health problems, which cause me to have an irregular schedule, so I eat when I choose, not on someone else's schedule. I also get to pick what I want to eat--as long as it is in the house, and without constant criticism of every molecule I injest. 
I lived with relatives most of my life, and have lived alone for several years now. I never want to live with anyone again! Alone is much better for me. When I lived with relatives, we all drove one another crazy, as they couldn't deal with my being different, and I couldn't handle their unrealistic demands that I behave normal. We get along better now that we don't live together.
So remember, being solo is not the end of the world. Just take time to grow into being yourself before you try couple-hood. That way, if it doesn't work, you can still fall back on being solo, and won't be freaking out about that. |
I am the same way,I prefer living alone and function much better under those circumstances. I need an incredible amount of down time to recover from social situations.It would take an incredibly patient woman who could put up with all of my eccentricities. |
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AspieOtaku
Leader of the Otaku Legion
Joined: Feb 18, 2012
Age: 30
Posts: 5906
Location: Mountain View, California, United States
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| Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2012 4:31 pm Post subject: |
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AspieOtaku wrote:
Ive thrown in the towel 6 years ago. I have realized nobody wants to get serious with a freak like me. At least that is what I think as well. As cold as it may seem, sometimes I think a relationship is a distraction from my studies and work. I might change my mind you might as well but i think i know how ya feel.
23 years old is rather early to give up.
Yeah it seems rather early but in the relationship I was in you might understand I was with this woman for at least 2 years off and on and I loved her dearly since high-school. She even took my virginity when I was 17 and she was 18 at the time. We eventually got more serious and considered getting engaged and we moved in together in our 20s I eventually opened up and told her about my autism. Things went out fine for a while until all of a sudden her personality changed and she began to become controlling and abusive and every time she would blame everything on me with her problems even though I had nothing to do with them, and try to find ways to blame things on me, so I began to take things out on myself and as a result I began to have a few meltdowns. She did not understand and scoffed at me when i had melt downs and said I am just doing it to earn her pity. I even made changes for her to try to make her happy and she was still unhappy and began to be more abusive. Still unfortunately I did not care about my own self or satisfaction, but only hers I guess you can say it is reverse selfishness. She would begin to intervene with my privacy and routines and also spread false rumors to her friends like I was cheating on her etc and I never did such things. She then began to cheat on me and we broke up It was hard for me but I still loved her. I was in depression and she told me she doesn't hate me, she just cant stand me and wants me out of her life. She moved out of my apartment and the stress seemed to subside abit until she visited a few times to hang out with my room mate because she and my room mate were friends. She would bring over the guy she left me for which was a guy who was 46 years old who was bipolar and an ex coke addict. Funny story about that he bailed on her 3 months later but anyway back to my explanation. Things were goin good for a while as i had a decent job with routine shifts and I had my own car my first car which was a 1965 T-bird until 6 months later the plant i was working for shut down and they laid everyone off. I had to go job hunting again but nobody in town was hiring and so I began to have meltdowns at home and had to sell my car and overdraw my account to pay my last months rent. On the final day in my apartment I was severely depressed scared of being homeless I lost everything i worked hard for to earn etc I was thinking about suicide because i thought of myself as a failure and a loser not fixed to move on in this world. My ex fiance comes over to visit and begins to harass me at the wrong time i am curled up broken down and I tell her to go away and she stays and tells me I am a push over that is why she left me and she told me oh no dont try earning my pity your pathetic etc your not going to kill yourself your too cowardly. Then I said to her then what do think about this? I took a kitchen knife and began to slit my wrists. Then she laughed and said omg your a psycho she puts on her head phones and leaves the apartment and my room mate calls the ambulance and I spend a few days in the hospital under suicide watch. I got out and had to live with my parents for a while until I got back on my own 2 feet again and start over. Painful memories indeed it is hard to trust anyone these days. |
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