ZX_SpectrumDisorder
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 25, 2012
Posts: 1608
Location: Ireland
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 Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2012 2:46 pm Post subject: |
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| But Mummy there are Contras in the garden... |
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blueroses
restless, but going nowhere
Joined: Feb 11, 2007
Age: 30
Posts: 1598
Location: Lancaster, PA
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| Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2012 2:56 pm Post subject: |
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| hyperlexian wrote: | | guerrilla gardening groups |
I just looked that up. That's such an awesome idea! Are they prevalent in your neck of the woods, Hyperlexian? Tempted to start my own, since there aren't any around where I live. |
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machf
Deinonychus
Joined: Jan 02, 2007
Posts: 312
Location: Lima, Peru
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| Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2012 2:59 pm Post subject: Re: Good places for Asperger's men to meet women |
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| Wolfheart wrote: | Since some guys complain about too many men being on the internet and outnumbering girls, I figured I would make a list of places where women are the greater ratio in places without a requirement to be outgoing, dance or pay an entry fee, feel free to add to this list.
Parks or Dog walking - Definitely something that can lead to a mutual conversation with a female dog walker, people love talking about their animals. It's even a good way to get to know people in the area and engage in a friendly conversation, I even know people that have met and got married through this. |
Not really... I walk my dogs three times a day (the park is right behind my house), most people are afraid of us rather than friendly... (there was a girl some years ago who did talk to me often, but since then, she stopped bringing her dog to this park because she kept getting too, ahem, filthy - this is what happens when most people don't pick up their dogs' droppings and you have a dog who likes to roll over on the grass)
Not to mention that most people will send their housemaids to walk the dog (and maids have their "exclusive club" at the park, so to speak, they all lie down together in a round and gossip), and others are either parents with their children or old men/ladies with their lap dogs...
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Charity Events - More women tend to be involved in charity events as opposed to men, there are even more girls working in charity shops so perhaps volunteering to do charity work could be good opportunity to meet the opposite sex.
Book stores, Coffee shops or Libraries - Also good places that are in a relaxed environment and you are more likely to meet an intelligent girl with ambition in a place like this, definitely a good place for someone on the spectrum. |
In book stores around here you'll only find moms looking for some book their children have to read for school... and I tend to visit book stores about once a week, or at least, once a month, in the worst case. Having learned to read in school (literacy) doesn't mean people like reading, unfortunately. And no, those who go looking for the latest best-seller because they saw it on some TV show don't count...
Libraries? They are a joke around here, my school's library was more complete than the public library, and in some aspects, even than the university's one. Heck, my own private library is probably more complete than most public ones in the country...
And to give you an idea: some years ago they finally opened the new National Library, with state-of-the-art installations... and guess what? They made it an *investigation library*, you can't get inside unless you are a properly credited researcher sent by some institution. And in the meantime, really old books (from the 15th Century, to give you an idea) keep getting stolen nonetheless...
Coffee shops... I can't stand the smell of coffee, and besides, paying 5 times the price of what a coffee cup really costs isn't something I'm willing to do. Honestly, those places are for people who want to pose as "intellectuals" (a term not to be confused with "intelligent" or "smart", it's basically just an excuse to say "no, I don't get my hands dirty, because I work with my brain instead" - too bad their brains aren't up to the challenge, really).
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The Beach - The beach is a very relaxed place, many women tend to go to the beach to top up their tans or read a book, some enjoy water sports so looking into taking up a water sport is a good alternative to dancing in a crowded nightclub.
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Not the beaches around here, they are crowded hellholes, and the beach sun doesn't give me a tan - I get a pretty bad case of sunburn instead. And the salty water... and the sand getting everywhere... no, thanks. I prefer the country: trees, grass, rivers and lakes... the problem is getting there in the first place.
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Well that's my list so far, I'm hoping some other people make positive suggestions that are friendly places for people on the spectrum to meet members of the opposite sex. |
Unfortunately, that doesn't leave many alternatives for me...
Going to the movies, to the mall, to car shows... unfortunately, most women in such places will be there accompanying their mates. So far I haven't been able to meet any that way.
Taking classes... you'd think getting into TV production classes there would be a fair amount of girls there, but alas, no... and I graduated already after a little over a year. Maybe they have some sort of radar that ells them I'm there or something and they avoid getting nearby. 
Going out for a walk I've crossed paths with a girl (I say "girl" because she's probably as few years younger then myself, but I probably should say "woman") several times over the years, unfortunately we're always going in opposite directions (she lives almost at the end of my route, where I turn around, and apparently, I live almost at the end of hers), I've also seen her at the church (which lies more or less halfways) - at the opposite side, since we enter through opposite doors. So, we've never talked, and I have no idea who she is or what she does. And I probably wouldn't know what to say if we ever got to talk, anyway... I'm still trying to figure out the possible outcome.
At the workplace - well, I've always thought it might be too risky, though in later years I've tried to set that aside (heck, my parents did meet at the workplace). But half of the time I'm unemployed or self-employed (like right now) and the other half I'm doing a job which I hate (like that temp job I took last November and December - when they offered me to stay until March I said "no, thanks") or at a place which sickens me (like in late 2009, after they moved us from our original offices to a complete hellhole), I'm still looking for a place where I want to stay and advance my career in the first place... (to think I missed a chance to work at IBM because of my sense of loyalty... they wanted me to start right away, but I didn't think it was right to quit my other job without at least a week's notice)
Last edited by machf on Tue Mar 20, 2012 3:05 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Tim_Tex
Professor Hineybottom
Joined: Jul 03, 2004
Age: 33
Posts: 41865
Location: Houston, Texas
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| Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2012 3:02 pm Post subject: |
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| ZX_SpectrumDisorder wrote: | | But Mummy there are Contras in the garden... |
If you ever have to deal with them, just remember...
Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A.
_________________
<<<=== This is not the devil, this is the Red Guy from Cow and Chicken. |
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techstepgenr8tion
that chatty American
Joined: Feb 07, 2005
Posts: 14832
Location: A beautiful vector among many
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| Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2012 3:04 pm Post subject: |
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| I should, just for the heck of it one of these days, rent a pavilion in the Cleveland metroparks and have an aspie cookout - see how many people I can get together. I know there were at least seven people in my old support group, probably plenty in the Cleveland area that visit WP. It might be neat for networking. |
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techstepgenr8tion
that chatty American
Joined: Feb 07, 2005
Posts: 14832
Location: A beautiful vector among many
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| Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2012 3:04 pm Post subject: |
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| Tim_Tex wrote: | | ZX_SpectrumDisorder wrote: | | But Mummy there are Contras in the garden... |
If you ever have to deal with them, just remember...
Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A. |
Depends how many of them there are - 30 extra lives may cut it, may not. |
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Wolfheart
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 18, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 2971
Location: Kent, England
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| Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2012 3:07 pm Post subject: |
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| ToadOfSteel wrote: | | Charity Events are good if you're older. Not many young people enjoy charity-type stuff that much in my experience. However, those few that do are undeniably quality people worth knowing... |
Maybe it's like that in the United States but here in the United Kingdom, plenty of young people get involved in charity runs, events or shops. A charity run or an athletic event might be a better place to meet women if you are younger. |
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bruinsy33
Velociraptor
Joined: Aug 01, 2011
Posts: 443
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| Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2012 4:03 pm Post subject: |
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| RightGalaxy wrote: | Don't just look for women, look for aspie women. NT's are only going to reject you or keep you for a bit and then kick you away penniless. Actually, an aspie woman has a better chance with an NT man than aspie men have with an NT women. The very purpose of an NT woman's life is a social one. When NT men socialize, they don't care if their women are there or not. The NT woman EXPECTS you to socialize. An NT guy will cheat on any kind of woman. NT guys find it easier to cheat on an aspie because she doesn't have a big social circle to tell her what he's doing behind her back. She's also unable to read the signs of infidelity. She'll eventually find out but an NT woman will find out a lot sooner. My NT cousin married an aspie and was ever so grateful for his fidelity and hard-work but after 8 years, she got very depressed and gained a lot of weight. She ended up having an affair with an NT guy and divorced him. Her complaint was that he always wants to stay home. He doesn't talk to people. He's embarrasing and bores people when he does talk to them. She didn't want to talk about electronics at the end of her day. She wanted to go to the bar with friends. Because of her guilt that he was indeed a GOOD man, She gave him eveything! The house, the car, the dog,
the two children every weekend, everything! She didn't take a dime!! If you decide to take a bite out of an NT woman, you are going to bite off way more than you can chew. Stay with your own type!! |
It is very possible that many Aspie guys would be very compatible with Aspie girls but I would speculate that those kind of relationships would be harder to get off the ground as the two would have similar issues such as inability to flirt or pick up on signals that someone is interested that would negate a relationship happening . I think anyone interested in an Aspie[even a fellow Aspie] is going to have to be patient and the more assertive party is definitely going to have to make it black and white that they are interested. |
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techstepgenr8tion
that chatty American
Joined: Feb 07, 2005
Posts: 14832
Location: A beautiful vector among many
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| Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2012 4:05 pm Post subject: |
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| Something else; I may be checking out Quirkyalone.com, they sound a heck of a lot like me and I'm curious to see how legit they are. I'll review it for you guys if I can. |
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CrazyStarlightRedux
Fake Kiwi
Joined: Jan 14, 2012
Age: 23
Posts: 1028
Location: Manchester, UK.
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| Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2012 5:23 pm Post subject: |
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| RightGalaxy wrote: | Don't just look for women, look for aspie women. NT's are only going to reject you or keep you for a bit and then kick you away penniless. Actually, an aspie woman has a better chance with an NT man than aspie men have with an NT women. The very purpose of an NT woman's life is a social one. When NT men socialize, they don't care if their women are there or not. The NT woman EXPECTS you to socialize. An NT guy will cheat on any kind of woman. NT guys find it easier to cheat on an aspie because she doesn't have a big social circle to tell her what he's doing behind her back. She's also unable to read the signs of infidelity. She'll eventually find out but an NT woman will find out a lot sooner. My NT cousin married an aspie and was ever so grateful for his fidelity and hard-work but after 8 years, she got very depressed and gained a lot of weight. She ended up having an affair with an NT guy and divorced him. Her complaint was that he always wants to stay home. He doesn't talk to people. He's embarrasing and bores people when he does talk to them. She didn't want to talk about electronics at the end of her day. She wanted to go to the bar with friends. Because of her guilt that he was indeed a GOOD man, She gave him eveything! The house, the car, the dog,
the two children every weekend, everything! She didn't take a dime!! If you decide to take a bite out of an NT woman, you are going to bite off way more than you can chew. Stay with your own type!! |
I wouldn't promote this simply because it gives out the wrong messages and is somewhat labelling people with an "us" vs "them" mentality.
You get woman who don't have Aspergers (I don't like the term NT) who can accept a man who has Aspergers, just as long as she is clued up about it.
Now when you say about Aspergers couples getting together you seem to miss one VERY big thing with that....they won't know how to show their emotions properly and will eventually depress each other.
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Just a guy who gives advice and talks a lot. |
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MXH
TomCat
Joined: Jul 29, 2010
Age: 22
Posts: 12475
Location: Here i stand and face the rain
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| Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2012 7:11 pm Post subject: |
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| Wolfheart wrote: | | ToadOfSteel wrote: | | Charity Events are good if you're older. Not many young people enjoy charity-type stuff that much in my experience. However, those few that do are undeniably quality people worth knowing... |
Maybe it's like that in the United States but here in the United Kingdom, plenty of young people get involved in charity runs, events or shops. A charity run or an athletic event might be a better place to meet women if you are younger. |
In the states the only reason to meet someone in a charity event is if their high school has forced community service hours to graduate.
Anyhow, my original reason to post was to say that one thing im not sure if many here know is where to look for the type of girl you want. If you want a one nighter you wont go to a library, just like if you want a brainy quiet girl you wont go to a club. Is it possible to find one of those in those places? Yes, but its more likely to find them in their common habitat. |
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bruinsy33
Velociraptor
Joined: Aug 01, 2011
Posts: 443
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| Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2012 9:11 pm Post subject: |
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| CrazyStarlightRedux wrote: | | RightGalaxy wrote: | Don't just look for women, look for aspie women. NT's are only going to reject you or keep you for a bit and then kick you away penniless. Actually, an aspie woman has a better chance with an NT man than aspie men have with an NT women. The very purpose of an NT woman's life is a social one. When NT men socialize, they don't care if their women are there or not. The NT woman EXPECTS you to socialize. An NT guy will cheat on any kind of woman. NT guys find it easier to cheat on an aspie because she doesn't have a big social circle to tell her what he's doing behind her back. She's also unable to read the signs of infidelity. She'll eventually find out but an NT woman will find out a lot sooner. My NT cousin married an aspie and was ever so grateful for his fidelity and hard-work but after 8 years, she got very depressed and gained a lot of weight. She ended up having an affair with an NT guy and divorced him. Her complaint was that he always wants to stay home. He doesn't talk to people. He's embarrasing and bores people when he does talk to them. She didn't want to talk about electronics at the end of her day. She wanted to go to the bar with friends. Because of her guilt that he was indeed a GOOD man, She gave him eveything! The house, the car, the dog,
the two children every weekend, everything! She didn't take a dime!! If you decide to take a bite out of an NT woman, you are going to bite off way more than you can chew. Stay with your own type!! |
I wouldn't promote this simply because it gives out the wrong messages and is somewhat labelling people with an "us" vs "them" mentality.
You get woman who don't have Aspergers (I don't like the term NT) who can accept a man who has Aspergers, just as long as she is clued up about it.
Now when you say about Aspergers couples getting together you seem to miss one VERY big thing with that....they won't know how to show their emotions properly and will eventually depress each other. |
That's not necessarily true ''they won't know how to show their emotions and will eventually depress each other''.They may have many similarities so will be much more sympathetic towards each other . |
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Comp_Geek_573
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 28, 2011
Age: 28
Posts: 546
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| Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2012 9:48 pm Post subject: |
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In NT vs. Aspie vs. autistic, my dating range is from NT but interested in Asperger's or autism, up to severely autistic (although able to speak.) I have almost infinite patience for those who cannot decide what to say in "real-time" as far as most conversations go, and I myself do better in writing.
_________________
Your Aspie score: 98 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 103 of 200
You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits
AQ: 33 |
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BrenJB
Toucan
Joined: Mar 17, 2012
Posts: 253
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| Posted: Wed Mar 21, 2012 12:44 am Post subject: |
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| I am an NT and I have NEVER been unfaithful in a relationship and wouldn't consider being unfaithful! It depends on the person, NT or Aspie, and their morals and upbringing. |
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Trigas
A bit crazy
Joined: Jul 14, 2011
Age: 20
Posts: 4143
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| Posted: Wed Mar 21, 2012 12:51 am Post subject: |
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| BrenJB wrote: | | I am an NT and I have NEVER been unfaithful in a relationship and wouldn't consider being unfaithful! It depends on the person, NT or Aspie, and their morals and upbringing. |
This ^^^
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All fantasy should have a solid base in reality. |
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