AScomposer13413
Complacent Composer
Joined: Feb 02, 2012
Posts: 2084
Location: Canada
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 Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2012 9:20 am Post subject: |
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| Daisychains11 wrote: | So it wasn't a shutdown. He met a girl. They are in love. He has been afraid to tell me and his solution I guess was just not to tell me or return my phone calls.
I have never hurt this badly, I don't think. |
...ouch  Maybe he didn't want to see you hurt/probably wouldn't be able to deal with your reaction?? Either way, it's no excuse. Your best bet is to forget him for now. Sorry things didn't work out |
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Paul123
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Oct 01, 2011
Age: 36
Posts: 44
Location: Glasgow, UK
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| Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2012 2:47 pm Post subject: |
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Hi Daisychains11,
I'm really sorry to hear that things didn't work out between you
He obviously cares a lot for you to try to avoid hurting you, though he's went about things the wrong way.
I agree with everything AScomposer13413 said above.
While I know it won't help you feel any better, I have no doubt that you will meet another person who you'll love and who will love you in return.
You really are a great person so please don't let this make you become more "closed off" or such like (I know it must be really difficult working in the same environment).
I've met some amazing girls that I just didn't have romantic feelings for, and had romantic feelings myself for other girls whom I know didn't have any feelings for me. You need to give yourself some time to gradually come to terms with this, and persevere until the day you meet the right person who's out there somewhere, waiting to love you back for who you are. |
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Daisychains11
Hummingbird
Joined: Mar 19, 2012
Posts: 18
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| Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2012 6:31 pm Post subject: |
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Thanks so much for responding. Yeah, he says he didn't want to hurt me, but I think it was more fear. He tends to avoid things he doesn't want to deal with. He's good at it. And he didn't need to deal with it, because he had this girl to spend all this time with, and didn't need me anymore.
I understand why he did it, but I have to allow myself to be angry with him. He went from being someone I utterly trusted to someone I barely recognize. I spent a full month alternating between worrying he was okay and thinking he was angry with me.
I will try not to become closed off, but I have learned not to place so much faith in someone I don't know very well.
I think he will eventually learn that abandoning your friends when you get into a relationship is a very, very bad idea. But it's a mistake a lot of people make when they first get into relationships.
ASComposer, thank you, I am going to try and forget him. The mean part of me that's still smarting is determined to make him regret me by becoming the most fabulous, attractive, brilliant, confident woman I can be. But I know those feelings of anger will eventually fade.
Paul, thank you, thank you, thank you -- you have been so kind throughout this whole ordeal. It is so nice of you to say that. I know that when I meet the right person I won't have to try so hard or worry so much. And as I said before, I know the same thing will happen to you. You are kind, thoughtful, generous and intelligent. There are plenty of women out there who find those to be the most attractive qualities a man can possess.  |
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