PastFixations
One who will open the door.
Joined: Sep 22, 2011
Posts: 2697
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 Posted: Mon Apr 02, 2012 5:37 pm Post subject: |
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There's a hosepipe ban? That's okay as my hose is indoors only. How about watering those plants?
You want a go on my pogo stick?
Normally I charge but for you, I'll give you a deposit.
_________________
www.wrongplanet.net/postp5013377.html&highlight=#5013377
Sora: "My friends are my power."
Ventus: "I'm asking you as a friend. Just... put an end to me." |
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Matt62
Phoenix
Joined: Jan 05, 2012
Age: 51
Posts: 1178
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| Posted: Mon Apr 02, 2012 8:16 pm Post subject: |
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"I have found the oddest creature, wanna see it? It vomits when its happy!"
"Care for a ride on the Tilt-a-whirl?!"
Matthew |
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AnonymousAnonymous
Is Not A Science Experiment
Joined: Nov 24, 2006
Age: 23
Posts: 22792
Location: Portland, Oregon
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| Posted: Mon Apr 02, 2012 8:44 pm Post subject: |
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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.
You are so beautiful that I could even drink your bath water.
Are you hungry? Because I got an all you can eat buffet right here with your name on it.
You're like a banana... good and ripe!
You're so hot you make the plastic in my underwear melt.
You're so cute when you stare at me with your lazy eye.
Can I lick that film off your teeth?
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Silly NTs, I have Aspergers, and having Aspergers is gr-r-reat! |
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AnonymousAnonymous
Is Not A Science Experiment
Joined: Nov 24, 2006
Age: 23
Posts: 22792
Location: Portland, Oregon
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| Posted: Mon Apr 02, 2012 8:46 pm Post subject: |
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Hurry - you need to stop, drop, and roll baby - cause you are on fire!
Do you come here often? I swear I haven't seen you around before.
Let's go behind that rock, and get a little boulder.
Want to play conductor? You be the engineer and I'll go choo choo.
You be the tree, and I'll wrap you like a koala.
You sure have a great looking tooth.
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Silly NTs, I have Aspergers, and having Aspergers is gr-r-reat! |
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OliveOilMom
Queen of cans and jars
Joined: Nov 12, 2011
Posts: 6990
Location: Living in Faulkner's nightmare
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| Posted: Mon Apr 02, 2012 9:25 pm Post subject: |
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"Want a beer?"
"Wanna see my truck?"
"You got any tattoos?"
"Don't you know my first ex ole lady?"
"Didn't we hook up one time before?"
and the absolute worst one ever is......
"How much?"
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Frances
I can be a little much sometimes. |
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Trigas
A bit crazy
Joined: Jul 14, 2011
Age: 20
Posts: 4143
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| Posted: Tue Apr 03, 2012 12:19 am Post subject: |
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If I flip a coin, what are my chances of getting head?
f**k me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?
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All fantasy should have a solid base in reality. |
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Gravechylde
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Mar 18, 2012
Age: 25
Posts: 196
Location: Funeralopolis
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| Posted: Tue Apr 03, 2012 12:49 am Post subject: |
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| I was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into that wall over there. So I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes. |
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AnonymousAnonymous
Is Not A Science Experiment
Joined: Nov 24, 2006
Age: 23
Posts: 22792
Location: Portland, Oregon
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| Posted: Tue Apr 03, 2012 8:37 pm Post subject: |
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Do you have a bandage? I hurt my knee when I fell in love with you.
If I caught a star every time I saw your beauty, I'd have the night sky in both of my hands.
You spend so much time in my dreams I should charge rent!
_________________
Silly NTs, I have Aspergers, and having Aspergers is gr-r-reat! |
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AnonymousAnonymous
Is Not A Science Experiment
Joined: Nov 24, 2006
Age: 23
Posts: 22792
Location: Portland, Oregon
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| Posted: Tue Apr 03, 2012 8:41 pm Post subject: |
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You're just the way I like my coffee. Tall, black, and strong.
Do you have a shovel? Cause I'm diggin' that ass!
Damn.....your ass is fine! Want to come see mine?
If I were you, I'd spend all day looking in the mirror!
You must be the cause of global warming!
You are so hot you're making the sun sweat!
_________________
Silly NTs, I have Aspergers, and having Aspergers is gr-r-reat! |
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Joker
Sinn Fein
Joined: Mar 20, 2011
Age: 24
Posts: 7593
Location: North Carolina The Tar Heel State :)
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| Posted: Tue Apr 03, 2012 8:45 pm Post subject: |
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I'll envite a hot guy over and he can go down on you while I tity f**k those lovly breasts of yours  |
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AnonymousAnonymous
Is Not A Science Experiment
Joined: Nov 24, 2006
Age: 23
Posts: 22792
Location: Portland, Oregon
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| Posted: Tue Apr 03, 2012 8:45 pm Post subject: |
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Hershey factories make millions of kisses a day, but I'm asking for only one.
You don't need car keys to drive me crazy.
I'm feeling a little off today. Would you like to turn me on?
You had better phone the firefighters in advance, cause when you're done with me, we'll be on fire!
Hi, who's your friend?
Drop an ice cube and say 'Now that we've broken the ice, my name is...'
If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?
What's your sign?
_________________
Silly NTs, I have Aspergers, and having Aspergers is gr-r-reat! |
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Joker
Sinn Fein
Joined: Mar 20, 2011
Age: 24
Posts: 7593
Location: North Carolina The Tar Heel State :)
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| Posted: Tue Apr 03, 2012 8:48 pm Post subject: |
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| Help! I can't find my keys but I would love to drive you like a car some time. |
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AspieOtaku
Leader of the Otaku Legion
Joined: Feb 18, 2012
Age: 30
Posts: 5994
Location: Los Altos, California, United States
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| Posted: Thu Apr 05, 2012 5:07 am Post subject: |
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That dress your wearing would look better on the floor.
_________________
Your Aspie score is 193 of 200
Your neurotypical score is 40 of 200
You are very likely an aspie
No matter where I go I will always be a Gaijin even at home. Like Anime? http://www.anime44.com/anime-list |
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mv
Protector of the Realm
Joined: Jun 18, 2010
Posts: 3131
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| Posted: Thu Apr 05, 2012 10:20 am Post subject: |
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"What has two thumbs and needs a bj more than life itself?"
{thumbs up, pointing back at self}
"This guy!" |
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HisDivineMajesty
Carolingian Emperor Extraordinaire
Joined: Feb 01, 2012
Posts: 1364
Location: Planet Earth
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| Posted: Thu Apr 05, 2012 11:33 am Post subject: |
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"Hey there, I'm a lawyer. I just came from court, and I'll be back in court when I'm done with you."
"Scheduled for a vaginal examination by an unlicensed doctor, are we?"
"Did you hear? No is the new yes. Yes is also yes. Want to have sex?"
You shouldn't use those if you're looking to get laid. Instead, use them to get to prison if you need to. |
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