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Lytig
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Apr 04, 2012
Posts: 42
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 Posted: Thu Apr 19, 2012 11:15 pm Post subject: |
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| I can never date somebody without thinking of the possibility and hope of a permanent future. I can't see the point of dating anybody otherwise? I can never do fun and uncomplicated relationships. I dive head first into relationships. I don't get the game of it at all. I've been dating my boyfriend for just over a year and when we first started dating, it did not take long at all for me to get super serious. I will not date somebody if I can't at least in some way see it lasting. Obviously it doesn't always but I think it is pointless dating somebody that you can't see a future with. It would just be too much work and stress. Why get in to a relationship when you know going in to it that there is an expiration date on it? |
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Inyanook
Sea Gull
Joined: Apr 14, 2012
Age: 19
Posts: 204
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| Posted: Fri Apr 20, 2012 1:21 am Post subject: |
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Yeah, I'm the same.
If I'm going to take the time and effort to cultivate a relationship with someone, I'm only going to do so with someone I can picture spending my life with, who I really care about that deeply. I can't imagine dating someone just because I have a minor crush on them.
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The past, the present and the future walked into a bar.
...
It was tense. |
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Wolfheart
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 18, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 2971
Location: Kent, England
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| Posted: Fri Apr 20, 2012 1:52 am Post subject: |
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| Lytig wrote: | | I will not date somebody if I can't at least in some way see it lasting. Obviously it doesn't always but I think it is pointless dating somebody that you can't see a future with. It would just be too much work and stress. Why get in to a relationship when you know going in to it that there is an expiration date on it? |
Ever heard of casual relationships? Sometimes relationships are good that are mutually beneficial without having the emotional pressure or commitment of having to lead somewhere. Personally I would hate it if someone pressured me that the relationship should lead somewhere as in marriage, I think too many people in society get married too quickly and I won't marry someone unless I've lived with them for 5 to 10 years. |
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Lytig
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Apr 04, 2012
Posts: 42
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| Posted: Fri Apr 20, 2012 3:52 am Post subject: |
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| Wolfheart wrote: | | Lytig wrote: | | I will not date somebody if I can't at least in some way see it lasting. Obviously it doesn't always but I think it is pointless dating somebody that you can't see a future with. It would just be too much work and stress. Why get in to a relationship when you know going in to it that there is an expiration date on it? |
Ever heard of casual relationships? Sometimes relationships are good that are mutually beneficial without having the emotional pressure or commitment of having to lead somewhere. Personally I would hate it if someone pressured me that the relationship should lead somewhere as in marriage, I think too many people in society get married too quickly and I won't marry someone unless I've lived with them for 5 to 10 years. |
I wasn't trying to say that I would pressure somebody to marry me. I did not mean it like that. I meant that I don't see the point in me personally pursuing a relationship that I can't see having any potential future. I'm not saying it will happen, I'm just saying that I can't date people if I don't see at least a possibility of being happy with them in the long-term. That is just me, though. I am not meaning or trying to pressure anybody else into my way of thinking. I am sorry if it came across that way. |
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TheHouseholdCat
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 01, 2012
Posts: 667
Location: Berlin, Germany
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| Posted: Fri Apr 20, 2012 12:12 pm Post subject: |
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| Taybot97 wrote: | | lilbetta wrote: | | OMG me too! must be an aspie thing, i dont like the dating scene and when i look for a signifigant other it is actually me looking for a possible future wife, i dont wanna waste my time on something that has no purposeful ending.. |
Exactly, What is the benefit of going out with somebody for maybe a month. I've literally seen a girl go through more boyfriends than years I've been alive (15) in the time I've been with my girlfriend (4 months Friday). I chose her because I saw potential for Long term, wife seems too optimistic but I can see a few years a head at this rate if everything goes as good or better as now. |
I guess because people want to try things out.
I can't say I'm looking for a potential husband or something because I can't say I am fond of marriage or having kids.
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EXPANDED CIRCLE OF FIFTHS
"It's how they see things. It's a way of bringing class to an environment, and I say that pejoratively because, obviously, good music is good music however it's created, however it's motivated." - Thomas Newman |
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falonsayswoah
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Mar 27, 2012
Age: 19
Posts: 59
Location: Oregon, USA
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| Posted: Sun Apr 29, 2012 5:42 pm Post subject: |
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| Lytig wrote: | | I can never date somebody without thinking of the possibility and hope of a permanent future. I can't see the point of dating anybody otherwise? I can never do fun and uncomplicated relationships. I dive head first into relationships. I don't get the game of it at all. I've been dating my boyfriend for just over a year and when we first started dating, it did not take long at all for me to get super serious. I will not date somebody if I can't at least in some way see it lasting. Obviously it doesn't always but I think it is pointless dating somebody that you can't see a future with. It would just be too much work and stress. Why get in to a relationship when you know going in to it that there is an expiration date on it? |
I'm the same way. When I really like someone, I can't imagine anything other than have a life long relationship. I've never dated anyone, but I just can't casually date. I've scared off a lot of people because of this. One time I got close to having a romantic relationship with someone and she said that us cuddling in bed was just her testing to see if she liked me; I was extremely upset. We had only been flirting for a few weeks, but I was already completely invested and totally serious about everything. When she tried to explain why she did not want to date me she said something like, "I'm 15... I don't want to be with one person right now. I'm young. I don't know where I'll be in five years." I just couldn't understand this because since I've been interested in romantic relationships, I've always imagined long term. Seriously, probably since I was 11-years-old, that's what I've wanted. If I like someone and I can picture myself being with them for years, I put everything into wooing them. This is when I scare them off... I've tried several times to just "go with the flow" and not get attached too quickly (several friends have told me this is what I need to work on), but when I like someone it's kind of like... Aren't I supposed to care for them as much as I can? Shouldn't I show them how much I like them and want to be with them? I guess people don't like the direct approach.
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Diagnosis: Major Depressive Affective Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Mild PTSD, Agoraphobia with Panic Disorder, Attention Deficit Disorder of childhood with hyperactivity (more inattentive, though), Mild OCD, Social Phobia, Tourette's Syndrome |
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