Intravenus
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: May 01, 2012
Age: 22
Posts: 41
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 Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 12:41 pm Post subject: |
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I work in a Court myself so I can tell you, so many people have criminal records you'd be surprised! And a lot of them are just moments of madness.
The way I'd think about it is, a child molester will certainly scar their victim for life, a violent assault could leave people living in fear or physically scarred. When our family car has been keyed, the reaction has been "oh bloody hell, what sod did that? ", assume it was local kids and think no more of it.. You're probably more upset than the car owner!
But I understand no one can change how you view yourself with reasoning, I just hope you can accept and get over this. You must be a very sweet person to show such remorse. I've seen rapists and murderers standing in the dock, grinning and laughing at the victims family. You're nothing like those people. |
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MeshugenahMama
Raven
Joined: Apr 29, 2012
Posts: 107
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| Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 12:54 pm Post subject: |
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It can sometimes help a person to feel like they are making a difference, and at the same time see that there are people who have it much worse.
Maybe instead of throwing a couple of hundred dollars on the ground, you should give that money to an organization that helps prevent domestic violence.
If you feel that strongly about it, maybe you should try volunteering at a shelter.
I hope you find peace. |
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OliveOilMom
Queen of cans and jars
Joined: Nov 12, 2011
Posts: 6783
Location: Living in Faulkner's nightmare
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| Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 7:21 pm Post subject: |
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Like somebody else said, lots of people have criminal records. People who would surprise you.
Our high school principal had one. He was the principal for about four or five years. He had gotten arrested and fined and probation for holding his ex wife hostage and assaulting a police dog and shooting at the cops through his window. Really. Yes, really. I'm not making this up. He was the principal for a while, and he was one of the few that I actually got along with, because he doesn't pull punches and I don't either. We are both straightforward and we don't get offended easily or really care when we are passionate about something or upset, if we offend someone else.
He respected me and I respected him.
Of course come to think of it, it might just have been that kind of "prison yard" respect that big badass convicts have for each other. Neither of us is a badass, but he knows that I'll go to the media in a heartbeat, sue, call in favors from family political connections, etc. And I knew he wouldn't hesitate to expell one of my kids. It was sort of like a Mexican standoff between us.
The only thing was, anytime he was on school property, a cop had to be there and be in the office or near him. Otherwise he was great.
He recently got fired for stalking his next ex wife and breaking into her house.
I wish he'd get his love life straightened out and that they would let him have his job back. You could actually talk to him and negotiate with him. The ones they have now are all about a bunch of rules and by the book bs, which doesn't really fit with every situation, family, or student. He had sense enough to bend the rules when need be. There were fewer dropouts under him than any other principal, cause he would work with the kids.
Also, a judge here (not the one I like) ran over and killed a kid. This was years ago, and he was sober this time, but he had had quite a few DUI's in the past.
Our DA has had a lot of DUI's and been busted for drugs several times.
Our court clerk stole a bunch of money and ran off to Birmingham and holed up in a hotel with booze until the money ran out. He came back, paid them back and got his job back.
So, you never know.
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Frances
What if Jessie's girl was Stacy's mom and her number was 867-5309? |
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Demiurge
Emu Egg
Joined: Apr 27, 2012
Posts: 5
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| Posted: Wed May 02, 2012 8:28 am Post subject: |
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Talking about being over dramatic. Being a criminal does not make you less than human and if you think so you're naive.
What makes you think you're any better than criminals if you consciously decided to go and vandalize property that's not yours?
Noob :/ |
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Sweetleaf
Metalhead
Joined: Jan 07, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 14828
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
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| Posted: Wed May 02, 2012 11:24 am Post subject: |
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| Demiurge wrote: | Talking about being over dramatic. Being a criminal does not make you less than human and if you think so you're naive.
What makes you think you're any better than criminals if you consciously decided to go and vandalize property that's not yours?
Noob :/ |
Wow lets try not to personally attack people for feeling down....not cool at all.
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It's like alice in wonderland except, my names not alice and this is the real world not a dream. |
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unduki
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 22, 2011
Posts: 651
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| Posted: Wed May 02, 2012 12:42 pm Post subject: |
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Take a deep breath and let it out. Let it go. Today is a new day. Don't waste the opportunity to live today well. Tomorrow will be better.
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass; it's about learning to dance in the rain. |
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Fluttershy11
Raven
Joined: Jan 12, 2012
Posts: 123
Location: Southern Maine, USA
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| Posted: Wed May 02, 2012 10:31 pm Post subject: |
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| Intravenus wrote: | I work in a Court myself so I can tell you, so many people have criminal records you'd be surprised! And a lot of them are just moments of madness.
The way I'd think about it is, a child molester will certainly scar their victim for life, a violent assault could leave people living in fear or physically scarred. When our family car has been keyed, the reaction has been "oh bloody hell, what sod did that? ", assume it was local kids and think no more of it.. You're probably more upset than the car owner!
But I understand no one can change how you view yourself with reasoning, I just hope you can accept and get over this. You must be a very sweet person to show such remorse. I've seen rapists and murderers standing in the dock, grinning and laughing at the victims family. You're nothing like those people. |
Exactly...it's not that I *don't* care...it's that I care too MUCH! And as a wise man once said, "Sometimes too much is as bad as too little."
But what you also need to understand is that there are various degrees of hurt when it comes to crimes. While my act may not have caused physical harm, my crime did cause financial and psychological hurt; and THAT'S what I can't live with...sometimes I get so focused on avenging a wrong that I don't consider innocent bystanders.
And that's why I call myself scum.  |
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Fluttershy11
Raven
Joined: Jan 12, 2012
Posts: 123
Location: Southern Maine, USA
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| Posted: Wed May 02, 2012 10:37 pm Post subject: |
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| Demiurge wrote: |
What makes you think you're any better than criminals if you consciously decided to go and vandalize property that's not yours?
Noob :/ |
Because I wasn't thinking straight. We all go a little mad sometimes. |
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Fluttershy11
Raven
Joined: Jan 12, 2012
Posts: 123
Location: Southern Maine, USA
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| Posted: Wed May 02, 2012 11:19 pm Post subject: |
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| OliveOilMom wrote: |
You said yourself that you are very judgemental and view anyone with any criminal record as scum, and you tend to lump all crimes in together. Jaywalkers with murderers. Now that you yourself have a criminal record you probably feel obligated to feel that you are scum, because you have put everyone else in that catagory, when many if not most of them, aren't.
I hope you use this incident and consequences to give a long, hard think about how the rest of the world actually is, and that people don't fit into simple good/evil, black/white, catagories. Maybe knowing deep down that you aren't scum, and feeling that you should think you are because of how you have catagorized others, and knowing that there are other hardliners out there like yourself who would think of you like that, will make you give itt more thought and acctually learn compassion for others who are, like you, human, and who do, like you, make mistakes.
In other words, use this as a lesson in judging others.
BTW, I have a criminal record, and I'm far, far, from scum. |
...how do you live with yourself?
And no, I wouldn't go so far as to call jaywalkers scum. I'd classify what I call 'scum' anybody who has at least committed 'criminal mischief' (graffiti, willful destruction of property, etc.) or worse.
But you are right when you say that I do have a black and white way of thinking. Besides, if those so called 'nice, decent people' really were nice, decent people, they wouldn't have criminal records in the first place! It's all or nothing. There IS no 'in between'.
And just to clarify to everyone in general who've responded to this thread, my criminal record isn't permanent; if I keep my nose clean of any more mischief for a year (and my conscience will MORE then make sure that I do!), it will be stuck off and cleared. But even if the rest of the world goes on, if no one will ever know I had a criminal record, I'LL KNOW. That is my crime...that is also my punishment.
Fluttershy11
Last edited by Fluttershy11 on Thu May 03, 2012 10:36 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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AldousH
Snowy Owl
Joined: Oct 06, 2010
Age: 25
Posts: 158
Location: SE Europe
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| Posted: Thu May 03, 2012 2:37 am Post subject: Re: Well, it's official...I am SCUM |
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| Fluttershy11 wrote: | | Sweetleaf wrote: |
Come on that's terrible you're being way to hard on yourself...I think robbing liquor stores, beating wives and child molestation are a little bit worse than doing something stupid but not exactly that terribly damaging because you where pissed off. Also if it comes off your record in a year that will hardly be much of a problem.
You don't regularly break any laws do you? and your not going to pay for that for the rest of your life...there are a number of worse things you could have done. Just try not to be so hard on yourself about this. |
Well, that's just the point; I DON'T regularly break laws...but you are totally right in one aspect. I AM really f**king stupid when it comes to simple common sense. It's incredible how a person like me could be so rich in knowledge, but so POOR IN SENSE!!
Goddamn, I hate myself so much...
Oh, and about that thing you said about not having to pay for that the rest of my life?
Don't underestimate me. As long as I live in the town of Sanford ME, every 13th of December I will pay a visit to that parking lot and drop $100 on each of the 2 spots where I committed the scratchings. I will fight to my last breath to show in my own way that I'm eternally sorry for what I've done. You can choose to call me crazy or psychotic, but this is the life I choose to live! I am a hardcore repenter, and nothing is going to change that.
P.S. - in regards to figuring out the damages to the cars, it's calculated by how much the parties paid for insurance and what their deductible rates are; that is, how much you have to pay out of your own pocket before insurance covers the rest. In this case, the total deductible was $350, and that's what I wound up paying restitution for. Hope that explains it. ^_^
Fluttershy11 |
Fixing up a scratched car is ridiculously easy. Your feelings getting hurt by the people who's cars you've keyed is a lot more precious (I'm honestly not being sarcastic). If you tried to "fix" your feelings by that act then it could be seen as a morally righteous, fair exchange.
Our societies rules, both legal and partaking of common sense (what's the word btw?) aren't worthy of being fret over. Especially by someone as... interesting as yourself. You are making the world a little bit better by simply living in it as yourself, not the other way around. Just look at all the shallow, gossipy, mean idiots around you. It's THEIR world and THEIR common sense. Why the hell respect that?
What about just mailing me the 100$? Their gonna be picked up by a third party anyway. |
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OliveOilMom
Queen of cans and jars
Joined: Nov 12, 2011
Posts: 6783
Location: Living in Faulkner's nightmare
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| Posted: Thu May 03, 2012 2:20 pm Post subject: |
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| Fluttershy11 wrote: | | OliveOilMom wrote: |
You said yourself that you are very judgemental and view anyone with any criminal record as scum, and you tend to lump all crimes in together. Jaywalkers with murderers. Now that you yourself have a criminal record you probably feel obligated to feel that you are scum, because you have put everyone else in that catagory, when many if not most of them, aren't.
I hope you use this incident and consequences to give a long, hard think about how the rest of the world actually is, and that people don't fit into simple good/evil, black/white, catagories. Maybe knowing deep down that you aren't scum, and feeling that you should think you are because of how you have catagorized others, and knowing that there are other hardliners out there like yourself who would think of you like that, will make you give itt more thought and acctually learn compassion for others who are, like you, human, and who do, like you, make mistakes.
In other words, use this as a lesson in judging others.
BTW, I have a criminal record, and I'm far, far, from scum. |
...how do you live with yourself?
I have more regrets over things that have happened or I have done or caused that weren't criminal. I live with myself because I know that the stuff I have a criminal record over isn't all that bad. It's not a big deal. I've had worse done to me. I can't change the past no matter how hard I try so why ruin the future over it?
And no, I wouldn't go so far as to call jaywalkers scum. I'd classify what I call 'scum' anybody who has at least committed 'criminal mischief' (graffiti, willful destruction of property, etc.) or worse.
Let me tell you a little story please. The part of town that I grew up in was a nice, working class area when I was a child. By the time I was a teenager, there was a whole lot of crime in the area. This is when the gangs of today were popping up down here. By the time I was 15, West End in Birmingham was a fairly poor area of town and the entire West Side was considered dangerous. I didn't consider it dangerous, I grew up knowing those people. It was my generation that grew up and turned it into that. I was with a guy, for quite a while, whose father and brothers were known as one of the main groups of troublemakers and petty and medium range criminals in the area. So were their friends. I stayed there for several years.
The people who were out doing the burglaries, the robberies, selling stolen property, selling weed and drugs, selling guns, those were my friends. They weren't exactly high class, but they certainly never hurt me. Well, except for the one I married for a little while, one of the brothers. He used to beat me up for about a year and a half, two years - it started before we were married and like a dumbass I married him anyway - and then after the divorce, when we tried to get back together he tried whooping my ass again and I realized that I was bigger than him and handed his ass right back to him in spades. But I never had any fear of those criminals who were in and out of jail, prison, juvie. The youngest brother, who I used to babysit, joined the Crips when he was 13 and it was just getting started down here. Back then there were just as many white boys in it as black boys because the neighborhoods where the crime was half and half and nobody was a bigot about that, their parents were, but my generation wasn't. He's still in it today and he's doing 35 in Parchman in Mississippi for armed robbery. But I don't consider him scum.
I don't consider the oldest one of them, the one who I still consider my brother in law, scum either. He's in prison up the road from me. He's got life with parole and he was going to stay with us if he made parole, but he didn't. I've known him forever it seems and he was the one who stood up for me. He was the one who has rescued me from many situations that my ex put me in or that I got into all by myself with my stupidity. He never stole a dime from me, and he could have, easily, many times. Nor did he take advantage of me. The youngest one was always hitting me up for money and to drive my car, but then I was his babysitter and I took care of him, so he saw me like a big sister.
My ex is going to get the needle from the state of Mississippi cause he shot this guy who was on parole and living with him and his new wife, one of my best friends from high school who I'm still close to. He shot at her too, but he missed. He's an idiot. HE is scum, certainly. He stole from family, conned everyone he knew, was a coward when he didn't have a gun or it was a woman. He would live for the con. He got his thrills by hurting others, living off of others, and taking advantage of others. He deserves what he's getting.
Now, I'm sure you are wondering how I consider him different than the others, because the others hurt people, they lived off of people in the sense that they stole from them and sold the stuff, etc. I can see your point. My point is, the old saw about "honor among theives". There isn't that now, but there used to be, among certain people. None of the other boys, his brothers and their friends, Billy, Toro, Danny, Terry, Jesse, Roosevelt, none of those boys would physically hurt a woman. None of those boys would steal from a relative or friend, or even an acquaintance who trusted them. Sure, they conned some people after they got to know them but they conned people they felt were getting over on others and deserved it. They never did that to people who they considered sweet, or nice. I'm sure they did steal from plenty of sweet and nice people, but they didn't know them and that made it somehow different in their minds. I'm not trying to excuse their behavior or even say their logic is right, because it's not, I'm just trying to explain to you how they thought, what their moral and ethical codes (such as they were) actually entailed. I'm trying to explain to you how they thought of themselves as opposed to people who really are scum.
Somebody who is scum will walk right by an old lady who has fallen down on the sidewalk. They will snatch the purse of a lady pushing a stroller. They will talk a 20 year old neighbor with a low IQ and the mental ability of a 10 year old into stealing from somebody's back yard with them and then when they are about to get caught they will turn that guy in and get off scott free. If their wife refuses to hand over her last $20 to them because she wants to eat instead of buying car speakers they will push her out of the car, run over her leg with it, which hurts even in a VW bug, and leave her stranded in Colombus Georgia. They will keep track of when their friends go out of town and break into their houses and steal their stereos. In other words, they are basically sociopaths.
Somebody who is scum doesn't care at all about others, anyone, ever, but themself. Somebody who is scum gets their jollies hurting people, like rapists and child molesters and old people (luckily my ex was never one of those). Somebody who is scum truly is scum and has no redeeming qualities or at least no redeeming qualities that outweigh their negative qualities.
A person's actions doesn't always dictate their character nor vice versa. Character doesn't have one damn thing to do with what a group of lawmakers consider to be ok to do and not ok to do. I am not trying to say that these boys are people you would want to have over to your house. I'm not saying that they are people you would even want to know. I'm not saying they are good influences, aren't dangerous to some of the public or are in any way, shape or form trustworthy for the most part. What I'm saying is that while they may be criminals, lowlifes, con men, thieves, people you don't ever want to cross or meet in a dark alley, they are not scum. I'm not saying that my ex is scum just because he did what he did to me. They didn't like how he did me and excluded him from a lot of stuff, not just criminal stuff but regular ordinary guys hanging out and bbq-ing and drinking beer and listening to music like we all did before the advent of the video game stuff. There were guys they didn't want anything to do with themselves because of the guys own lack of character. When Dale and Buddy and Toby did some things that I wont go into here but were pretty heinous, and they were done to strangers (nothing violent or anything) they were completely shunned to this day.
Scum is the lowest of the low, and society, all society even criminal society, is truly better off without them breathing air. What you did was just mean, impulsive and destructive, but far from the sign of being scum. Yes you committed a crime, in "the heat of passion" and while you did have intent and malice toward your intended target, you did not have malice aforethought. You didn't sit down and plan to go do it just for shits and giggles. You didn't get your jollies from it. You didn't do it for a living. While you might be a criminal on paper, you do not have the criminal mentality. I would never, ever lump you in with the criminal element. They would probably take advantage of you and hurt you for one, and two you have a much better character than they do.
Let me give you an example. Now, lets say that Bruce Jr was in your shoes. What the parents were doing wouldn't have bothered him at all, nor even a good old fashioned spanking in public would have either, but lets say he saw a parent slap the fire out of a little kid, right in the face. Most people, most normal people that is, would quietly call 911 on their cell phones and try to be some sort of obstical if the parent were to try to leave, so that the police would be able to get him. A true, dyed in the wool criminal wouldn't do that. Not if he gave a rats fanny about kids anyway. Bruce Jr would have got up, grabbed the dad and commenced to beating and wouldn't have stopped until he was either pulled off which would take quite a few people and they would risk injury themselves, or he got tired and that would be long after the other guy was unconscious, brain dead or actually dead. If he couldn't get to the guy and could only get to his car, and he was sure it was his car, he wouldn't have just scratched it. He would have taken a tire iron to it and destroyed it as well as he could, which I imagine is pretty bad. That is what a criminal would do. Scum wouldn't have cared about the kid at all and could easily have sat there eating his meal while the parent murdered and dismembered the child in the next booth.
I believe you did what you did out of misdirected empathy for the kid and desire for justice. That kind of thinking is in no way criminal even though the resulting action was. If you saw a starving child and had no money and there was nobody to call for help or ask for food and your only choice to feed the kid was to steal a hamburger for him, would you? Of course you would. Is that a crime? On paper, yes. But would you consider it a crime morally to do it? Or would the bigger crime be to stick to an ethical standard carved so deeply in granite that there is no room for variation and let the kid starve so that you could hang on to your own sense of righteousness?
I'm not saying you did the right thing. I'm saying your intentions were right, wanting justice for the kid,, but the way you went about it was wrong. That doesn't make you scum. Scum would go around keying cars left and right because he thought it was fun and it's a cowardly crime that he could get away with and gave him some sense of power over others. That's what scum is. You aren't scum. Not at all. Also, scum doesn't care that it's scum. Call it scum and it will laugh at you.
You aren't scum. Stop saying you are because the things you think about yourself effect how you feel about yourself. Also, please try to stop judging others so harshly. Just because someone may do a lot of bad things that doesn't mean they are a bad person. They probably aren't a good person either, but that doesn't make them scum.
Whew, sorry to go on so long, but I really wanted you to understand so I went into a lot of detail. If you have read this far, you are a patient man.
But you are right when you say that I do have a black and white way of thinking. Besides, if those so called 'nice, decent people' really were nice, decent people, they wouldn't have criminal records in the first place! It's all or nothing. There IS no 'in between'.
Sure there is. My husband got an $800 fine and is on two years probation because last summer when he was out of work and we couldn't pay the yard man, and our lawn mower didn't run and nobody in our neighborhood had a lawn mower we could borrow, our grass grew over 12 inches high. We had no way to cut it. None at all. We had no money coming in and he couldn't find a job anywhere. A friend of my son's finally was able to bring his lawn mower over and cut the front, and that was after my husband went to court the first time and the judge gave him a week to get it cut. The son's friend had been out of town. We honestly don't know anybody else with a lawn mower. So, the front looked ok. The fenced back yard was still uncut but you can't see it. Somebody still reported us again, the cop came back out and he had to go back to court. Thats when he got the fine and probation. He's a criminal. His grass was too high. How does his crime mean he's not a nice decent person? If you are thinking that if he was a nice decent person he would have a job, think again. The company he worked for got bought out and all the old employees got laid off. He's in construction. This happened right before the April 27th tornado tore up Tuscaloosa. You would think that after all that damage that there would be lots of work for construction companies, and there will be. But first there has to be insurance stuff, then permits to get, then people bid, then all kinds of stuff to rebuild and it's still not finished or even started in some places. Lots of construction guys were out of work then. So, how is my husband, the criminal on probation, not a nice, decent person? Don't say that it's because his crime wasn't a crime. You can't have it both ways. You either follow the letter of the law no matter how arbitrary or ridiculous it is and be a nice decent person with no criminal record or you are scum. Which is he?
I'm not asking that to argue with you or challange you. I'm asking you that to get you to take a good look at how you see things. Maybe if you can start to loosen up your view of things, you can start to learn to go easier on yourself and others.
And just to clarify to everyone in general who've responded to this thread, my criminal record isn't permanent; if I keep my nose clean of any more mischief (and my conscience will MORE then make sure that I do!), it will be stuck off and cleared. But even if the rest of the world goes on, if no one will ever know I had a criminal record, I'LL KNOW. That is my crime...that is also my punishment.
It wont show up or be on your official record anymore, no. But there will be a copy of it in a drawer or on a disk or something, somewhere. They have to keep it. It's sealed, nobody can see it, if a cop or lawyer does a search for you they won't see it and nobody else would unless they dug really deep. But it's still there, somewhere. You won't officially have a record anymore, but there will still be a hard copy of it stuck somewhere, filed under stricken or sealed, etc.
Fluttershy11 |
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Frances
What if Jessie's girl was Stacy's mom and her number was 867-5309? |
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Fluttershy11
Raven
Joined: Jan 12, 2012
Posts: 123
Location: Southern Maine, USA
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| Posted: Thu May 03, 2012 10:34 pm Post subject: |
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To OliveOilMom -
....I'm sorry. I didn't know.
Everything that you've said completely challenges my black and white mentality, but you've made some very good points. Your neighborhood friends when you were a teen, even though they did some very questionable acts, definitely seemed to care about you. And your husband....it wasn't his fault...I most *certainly* wouldn't call him scum...he was just stuck between a rock and a hard place.
You also made some good points about my own crime: sure, it was a dick thing to do, scratching up a couple of cars, but it wasn't like it was a premeditated thing; it was just a heat-of-the-moment thing. Scum, as you say, couldn't care less about the people they've hurt with their crimes...well, I DO care! If anything, like one user said on this thread, I'm actually more upset about the whole thing then the car owners themselves! And I don't know if I'd go so far as to steal food so I could feed a starving child, but I certainly wouldn't just let the kid starve...I'd buy some food myself just to feed it, or at the very least, alert someone else to the situation before I moved along.
I take back everything bad I said to you. Who am I to judge what makes a person 'good' or 'scum'? It never once crossed my mind that sometimes accidents can happen when we're charged with crimes beyond our control or for silly reasons, or that there's such a thing as 'necessary evil', e.g. committing crimes just so you or a loved one can LIVE another day.
Can you forgive a stupid young man for the error of his ways? 
Fluttershy11 |
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OliveOilMom
Queen of cans and jars
Joined: Nov 12, 2011
Posts: 6783
Location: Living in Faulkner's nightmare
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| Posted: Thu May 03, 2012 11:27 pm Post subject: |
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There's nothing at all to forgive, you didn't do anything wrong. You weren't mean or rude to me and I wasn't mad or offended or upset in any way at all. I went into that long, wordy post because I wanted to explain some things to you that I didn't think you understood. And again I want to restate that I wasn't trying to say or even imply that most criminals are just good people who do bad things. Not at all. Many of them, like the boys back in the day, are kind of bad people who do bad things, but that doesn't mean they are allbad. Only scum is allbad.
I went into such detail because I wanted you to see that number one, your practice of harshly judging others based on a very rigid and black and white set of rules and ethics isn't fair or right because you usually don't know all the facts and probably never know certain things about the person that may cause you to look at them in a different light and number two, attempting to judge yourself by those standards when you know that your motive wasn't bad and that you weren't in a condition to really control the impulse, is going to serve no purpose and is only going to confuse you and make your life miserable. Boy, talk about a run on sentence!
But I want you to see and fully understand that there are degrees of things. A guy who gets a ticket for a bad tag has commited a crime. He is a criminal. A guy who gets caught stealing a candy bar from a store commited a crime. He is a criminal. A guy who gets arrested for selling a quarter ounce of weed has commited a crime and he is a criminal. A guy who robs a liqour store has commited a crime and he is a criminal. A guy who rapes and murders a woman he kidnapped from a parking lot has commited a crime and he is a criminal. Now, look at all of those examples. You can see that the individual crimes are very different and that there are different levels of seriousness. I would definately say that the guy in the last example is scum, but the others may or may not be. There is plenty of scum walking around out there with a spotless record, a high standing in the community and a stellar reputation. That doesn't mean they aren't scum.
I think you may be feeling a sense of failure because you value a clean record and you failed to keep yours clean. That's understandable and probably completely normal. You made a mistake and it caused you to lose something you value, a clean record. Maybe you are very angry with yourself over that and the fact that you did it because you lost control and so you think that you should lump yourself in with the lowest of the low simply because you have one thing in common, a criminal record. It's easy to find a reason for self loathing when we are angry with ourselves. I'm no shrink, and I'm just guessing here, but I'm wondering if you aren't focusing on the "being scum because of a criminal record" aspect of it instead of the fact that you lost control and vandelized someone else's car, because it's easier to face and accept "being scum" than it is to face losing control and hurting someone even indirectly like that? I'm wondering if you would rather beat yourself up than face and accept weaknesses and lack of control. Maybe you are just so angry at losing control that you feel you are scum because you lost control and did that rather than just because you have a record?
Let me ask you this, would you still feel that you were scum if you didn't get caught and get a record? There are thousands of crimes commited every day that people do not get caught over. Just because someone has a clean record doesn't mean they aren't a criminal. A criminal record just means that others know about it.
What are some of the things that you value about yourself and consider good qualities? Are those qualities gone now that you have the record? Will they come back when this is over? What hangs in the balance because of a record, anything other than your opinion of yourself?
Scum isn't scum because of a record. Scum is scum because of what they do and how they think of it and their disregard for others. So, what makes you scum if it's not the record?
You aren't scum at all. I'm very glad that you are doing some thinking about how you look at things. I hope you can start seeing shades of gray and applying them to others and to yourself. Also remember that laws are simply society's rules, they aren't holy writ. Laws vary from place to place. Nothing is set in stone except not killing someone and that's probably legal some place. I'm not saying that what you did should have been legal, because it shouldn't. I'm trying to get you to see that it's morals that are important, moreso than laws. A moral man may break some laws sometimes but a man who only follows law can go against morals easily and still be within the law. Adultry isn't illegal. It's immoral but not illegal. It's illegal to feed wild ducks on your own property in one city but it's not immoral. My point in this is to get you to see that the law itself isn't the final arbitor of good and bad, only of legal and illegal. The law judges your actions, not who you are.
So please give it some thought and see if you can't cut yourself, and everybody else, some slack.
_________________
Frances
What if Jessie's girl was Stacy's mom and her number was 867-5309? |
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Fluttershy11
Raven
Joined: Jan 12, 2012
Posts: 123
Location: Southern Maine, USA
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| Posted: Fri May 04, 2012 8:49 pm Post subject: Re: Well, it's official...I am SCUM |
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| AldousH wrote: |
Fixing up a scratched car is ridiculously easy. Your feelings getting hurt by the people who's cars you've keyed is a lot more precious (I'm honestly not being sarcastic). If you tried to "fix" your feelings by that act then it could be seen as a morally righteous, fair exchange.
Our societies rules, both legal and partaking of common sense (what's the word btw?) aren't worthy of being fret over. Especially by someone as... interesting as yourself. You are making the world a little bit better by simply living in it as yourself, not the other way around. Just look at all the shallow, gossipy, mean idiots around you. It's THEIR world and THEIR common sense. Why the hell respect that?
What about just mailing me the 100$? Their gonna be picked up by a third party anyway. |
Alright...contact me via PM and we can arrange something. Convince me that that money could be used for something more constructive, and we'll see.
F.S.11 |
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Fluttershy11
Raven
Joined: Jan 12, 2012
Posts: 123
Location: Southern Maine, USA
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| Posted: Mon May 07, 2012 9:19 pm Post subject: |
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Update time...guess what I just did, Narfibald...
I walked to the 7-11 for the first time in almost 5 months, and got myself a couple of sodas.
True, it did come with the cost of dropping a twenty on the ground of that 'scene of the crime', but I finally went back because I didn't want the red-headed girl who works there on evenings (we've conversed sometimes) to think that I'd died or something. I didn't go into detail why I was away for so long, but I did say that something I was ashamed of doing kept me from going there. She smiled and told me to keep my chin up, because things do get better. I took that to heart and thanked her, and went back to my apartment content that I'd conquered part of my fears.
Maybe there is hope... I do care...
Fluttershy11 |
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