Marcia
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Joined: Apr 15, 2008
Posts: 1477
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 Posted: Tue Apr 24, 2012 7:59 am Post subject: |
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I only now see your most recent post, and it reinforces my belief that this child is in the wrong environment.
He needs a quiet, calm environment, with less hustle and bustle, fewer children and more adults. It may be that the best thing that you and your boss can do is to discuss with the parents what options are available and what an ideal situation would be like. |
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zette
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Joined: Jul 28, 2011
Posts: 572
Location: California
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| Posted: Tue Apr 24, 2012 10:14 am Post subject: |
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| Has the mother come to the school to observe her son for a few hours, ideally able to watch when he doesn't know she is there? I know that was a big eye opener for me. Could the director require her to be the 1:1 aid if she won't go for help? |
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angelgarden
Sea Gull
Joined: Oct 07, 2011
Posts: 229
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| Posted: Tue Apr 24, 2012 9:56 pm Post subject: |
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| zette wrote: | | Has the mother come to the school to observe her son for a few hours, ideally able to watch when he doesn't know she is there? I know that was a big eye opener for me. Could the director require her to be the 1:1 aid if she won't go for help? |
I agree. That could be a very good idea. Require her to observe for a few hours. That was an eye opener for me too, even though my son is very high functioning. To see him and actually compare him to the rest of the class as I watched as an outside observer kind of 'hit' me in the face. In a good way. |
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kotshka
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Joined: Jun 10, 2011
Age: 28
Posts: 533
Location: Prague
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| Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 12:28 am Post subject: |
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It's a good suggestion, but unfortunately it has been tried already. She came when the psychologist did so she could see what we saw and hear what the psychologist had to say about it. She heard everything that was said and watched his behavior, but when asked her opinion, she simply said that maybe her son acts "a little different" than the other kids, but she doesn't see any cause for concern. Basically she's using the old communist denial method of "if you blindly insist something is true for long enough, it will become true." Unfortunately that didn't go so well even for the communists.
I think he could do well in our school actually, if he had an assistant. The trouble is really not from his point of view, it's from ours. He's perfectly happy. He has a great time all day, every day, with very few exceptions. It's true that the school is very "open" and the kids choose their own work, but the actual daily schedule almost never changes, and he has his own schedule during each free work period. He loves the materials, enjoys his "interactions" with the other kids, and is almost always smiling or laughing, especially when he's doing something wrong that makes everyone run around trying to stop him. I do think that he's in the school too long every day - he should be in the half-day program and leave after lunch. Unfortunately both parents work, so there's no one home to look after him, and he stays in our school until the very end of the day, often one of the last few children to be picked up. The only time he regularly seems to have had too much is during those last couple of hours, when he's finally overstimulated and sort of shuts down. Stops making eye contact, stops echoing, stops talking, and sort of rolls on the floor clutching whatever one of his favorite work materials he had been using.
If we kick him out of the school I don't think the parents will take our recommendations about what sort of school might be better for him. To make matters worse, there is a huge baby boom right now and all of the schools for children his age are overfilled. Even our little private school has a class of 25 instead of the 20 it really ought to be. He'll likely end up in a similar situation in any other school, but it's unlikely he'll be with a teacher who knows as much about autism as I do and is as interested in helping him as I am. I might push for him to be moved if I really thought he'd have a better chance elsewhere, but so far I'm afraid I can't believe that.
Anyway we had some extra success yesterday afternoon. Outside the kids are very active and it might be hard for him to stay calm, but inside they are all doing their work, and I continued helping him ask questions instead of being disruptive. Sometimes it was not well received, like when a child was concentrating and didn't want to be bothered, but I set him up with some colored counting beads and we talked about what colors he likes best, and then I got him to ask the other kids near him what colors they liked best, and before I knew it they were all working together and having a conversation! The kids were feeding him enough words that he was able to answer their questions, and they were happy to talk about what they liked. I was able to walk away and leave them for about ten minutes before the others lost interest and left him to himself, which he was happy enough with. So maybe there is hope, if we can manage for a while longer while he finds his way, and if we can persuade the other kids to try to be gentle with him because he's really just copying their aggressive actions towards him. |
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Wreck-Gar
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Joined: Jun 20, 2011
Posts: 934
Location: USA
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| Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 2:51 pm Post subject: |
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| kotshka wrote: | He seemed to really enjoy these conversations. He also liked making people say "NO!" by doing things he's not allowed to do. He had a great time today. Start to finish it was just a game - he pushes the buttons and gets the reactions he expects. He clearly understands the cause and effect, but he doesn't understand that what he's doing is not okay, and there doesn't seem to be any way to reach him.
Does anyone have any suggestions about how to make him understand that what he's doing is wrong? I'm sure he doesn't mean any harm - he enjoys being pushed, so why would he ever imagine that it would hurt someone else? We can't even teach him by making him feel what he's doing to others. Words certainly don't work, and the pictures aren't working either... And the echolalia is getting worse. For a lot of today he was unable to even answer simple questions, even about numbers, and simply parroted back every word that was said to him. Something started getting worse with him last week and it's rapidly becoming more than we can handle. |
Hmmm. My son (age 4) is not quite so aggressive but he seems to think doing things he is not supposed to is some sort of game. His favorite "bad" thing to do is climb furniture and jump off. If I say "No!" or "Don't do that!" he will hezitate but then usually repeat me while giggling uncontrolably. He does understand emotions so if I make an angry face and say "I'm mad!" he'll usually stop (though he might start again as soon as I walk away.) |
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kotshka
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Joined: Jun 10, 2011
Age: 28
Posts: 533
Location: Prague
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| Posted: Thu Apr 26, 2012 5:07 am Post subject: |
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Yes, he loves doing things that he knows will make us say "no," and in fact he usually does the thing, looks at us, waits for us to be about to speak, then before we can say it he shouts "NO!" and starts laughing hysterically, then does it all again.
So today seems to be good so far. Suddenly he's not being aggressive. Maybe it's just that we are keeping him occupied enough. He was doing some work with numbers, repeating the names of each number over and over again in both Czech and English. He kept asking me how to say different numbers in English - 50, 100, 1000. I love that look on his face when he hears the word, repeats it once, and I can see he has filed it away forever and will never forget it. Sometimes I even wonder if his ability with word memorization would be considered savant level, or if it's normal for echolalia or his type of autism. I know I learn languages more quickly than most people, and I understand even very complicated grammar pretty easily, but I have trouble remembering words and vocabulary a lot of the time. He seems to absorb every word like a sponge and even has perfect pronunciation. Pretty impressive for a kid who can't even properly communicate in his own language.
He's outside now with the other teachers (today is my one day to stay inside and do preparation work, including research on how to help Rada). I'll have to ask them how he is out there today. Outside is definitely the most dangerous time, because the kids are allowed to run around and yell and even play-fight as long as they all actually *want* to participate and aren't hurting each other. This morning at our circle time one boy (the most difficult one - his father isn't around and mother doesn't know how to say no to him, so he's used to just having whatever he wants all the time, and when he doesn't get it he attacks and sometimes seriously hurts the other kids) was attacking the girl sitting next to him because she said something he didn't like. I noticed that Rada was watching this, with a totally vacant expression on his face. He watched as the boy hit the girl, the girl screamed for help, a teacher came over and pulled the boy off, and the boy was made to sit with the teacher (a big punishment for this boy). I realized that from Rada's point of view, this boy was rewarded for hitting - he got attention from the teacher and was allowed to sit on his lap (something he always wants to do but we usually don't let him). So it's not surprising, then, if he's copying this action. The question is, what to do about that? So far we haven't found any consequences to give him which he actually doesn't like. And if we manage to find something that he doesn't like, he doesn't connect it with his actions beforehand. He doesn't understand that it's a punishment. All he knows is that suddenly something is happening that he doesn't like, and he tries to escape it.
I'm still looking for ways to communicate better with him. He can describe the pictures we draw, but I'm convinced that he still doesn't really understand the meaning of abstract concepts, whether presented verbally or as pictures. The fact that he can laugh while telling us something is bad or someone is sad and pointing at the appropriate picture tells me he doesn't understand, or at least he doesn't empathize.
I tried yesterday asking him to show me what it looks like when he's sad, or to make a sad face. He stared at me blankly, then smiled and said "I am not sad." I couldn't get any more than that out of him.
I've been thinking it would be valuable to try to teach him to read. He knows all the letters, and reading in Czech is entirely phonetic. If he could learn to read, he could learn to write (or at least type, his motor skills - both fine and gross - are pretty awful), and then maybe we could communicate with him better. But it would take some time. He's young still - only 3, but that doesn't mean he's not able, as I learned to read at this age and he already knows the alphabet and what sound each letter makes. All he needs is to learn to connect the sounds to make complete words. This is what takes most children time to figure out, no matter how you present it to them - their minds need to be ready to process this idea, and for most kids it usually doesn't happen until age 4, 5, or even 6. But I think he would be able if only we were able to spend the time teaching him. The question is, will we be able to find that time? And if we do, will we be able to keep him interested? |
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