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marshall
Under the whirlwind
Joined: Apr 15, 2007
Posts: 9227
Location: Western Michigan
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 Posted: Wed May 02, 2012 1:01 pm Post subject: |
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| BuyerBeware wrote: | Advice from personal experience, because several times in my life I have identified WAAAAY too much with that album-- THE ONLY SONG ON "THE WALL" YOU NEED TO LISTEN TO IS "OUTSIDE THE WALL." Give that damn thing away and listen to Bob Dylan or Peter, Paul, and Mary or Blind Melon or something. I don't know what, I don't know what you like, but listen to something else. If you have to go dark and metal, give Queensryche a shot. Operation: Mindcrime is a really good album. It's loud and mechanical and angry and I-hate-the-world but at least it's not as depressing as The Wall.
If you have to listen to Pink Floyd, try Dark Side of the Moon instead.
Not Soul Asylum, either. It's not much better. |
I guess I should not listen to Radiohead either...
| Quote: | "No Surprises"
A heart that's full up like a landfill
A job that slowly kills you
Bruises that won't heal
You look so tired and unhappy
Bring down the government
They don't, they don't speak for us
I'll take a quiet life
A handshake of carbon monoxide
No alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises
Silent, silent
This is my final fit, my final bellyache with
No alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises please
Such a pretty house, such a pretty garden
No alarms and no surprises (let me out of here)
No alarms and no surprises (let me out of here)
No alarms and no surprises please (let me out of here) |
I can't tell if the "protagonist" of this song is going to do something really drastic or manage to figure out a way to simply not give a crap about anything anymore. |
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Sweetleaf
Metalhead
Joined: Jan 07, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 14828
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
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| Posted: Wed May 02, 2012 1:23 pm Post subject: |
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| NTAndrew wrote: | | Sweetleaf wrote: | | NTAndrew wrote: | | Sweetleaf wrote: | | I have two of The Wall T-shirts, The album on vinyl, The DVD, the poster that came in the DVD, most their other albums on CD and of course Dark Side of The Moon on both vinyl and DVD and only the vinyl of Meddle. A Dark Side Of The Moon shirt and pants, a couple other posters, a lighter a wrist band, The recent biography about Syd barret and a couple other Pink Floyd related books and tickets to The Wall which Roger Waters is preforming on the 7th. Probably a bit excessive but that is how I get about music....I have other music collections as well but Pink Floyd is probably the largest. And I might as well carve lyrics into the bathroom stalls at the concert venues they are all carved up anyways. |
Hmmm...Can you say "Special Interest"?
I know one thing you care about-- and I'll bet you'd be really good at it, too. The world is full of people with various mental illnesses who need nothing so much as someone to listen, and smile, and say, "Hey, I like you." Might turn into a career in social work or counseling...
I would tend to agree. And before you say you are too messed up to think about other people's problems, thinking about other people's problems is a great way to get out of your own head for a while. Hey, I'm bat-sh*t crazy and it works for me! Actually, you are doing this a lot already as a regular contributor to these forums. And what you had contributed has undoubtedly made a difference in people's lives. |
Honestly I shall have to get back to the rest later....as that all is a lot to take in, but certainly worth thinking about...For now I can say I once had a bad mushroom trip watching The Wall. All because I knew what it meant to me, how I felt what I had gone through and as frusterating as things get and as hard as it is to keep going I am curious to see what other life experiances I might have.....but even so I get close to giving up on it because the pain I'm in is just too much. I mean hell I am even getting worse anxiety attacks or PTSD flashbacks from that crap that happened at my school(not quite sure what the difference is anymore) but it sucks I can be doing fine and all the sudden I have this sudden feeling of 'IMPENDING DOOM! IMPENDING DOOM! and of course increased heart rate more difficutly breathing and it feels like everythings going to fall apart any minute if that makes any sense I mean I don't even know how to deal with that.....other then have a drink or smoke a bowl to calm down. I mean it can come out of what seems like nowhere. |
Those are classic symptoms of PTSD. When you reach out to people on this forum (and I think reaching out on this forum is a good thing to do), a lot of people will tell you what you SHOULD do. So now it's my turn. Seek help. You can't deal with this alone. I'm not sure where you are, but there probably is a program (in California it's the Victim Witness Program) which would pay for counseling for someone who is experiencing PTSD from the trauma of criminal acts. The daughter of a friend of mine was assaulted by three young men recently, and she qualifies for help under that program.
However you do it, get help. Treating your symptoms by self medicating will not make you well. And for God's sake, STOP BEING SO HARD ON YOURSELF! |
Yes I would say Pink Floyd is a bit of a special intrest..as well as just music I like in general.
Also I see your point sometimes helping others or attempting to does make me feel a little more satisfied with myself and such....I guess what I was more trying to express is I do have my limits because I do tend to be rather sensative about things so its not very hard for me to start obsessing over other peoples problems as well as my own which then results in me being more anxious and worn out.
Yeah I tried going to therapy within the past year....and it was paid by whatever victim program thing they had for my highschool or the county or whatever. But it didn't really help at all and about the time I was getting frusterated about that I had reached the limit of what they paid for and could not afford to keep going. Also I found some mental health center in my area that might be helpful.....still haven't gone there mostly because it would be over an hour on the bus to get there and and hour alone but in public on the bus before something as stressful as that might prevent me from having the confidence to even walk into the building, not to mention I can't even seem to force myself to pick up the phone and make an appointment to begin with.
Also I don't expect self medicating to make me well.....I expect it to take the edge off. I mean what I was describing before kind of came down to I was about to lose it because that whole impending doom feeling was just gradually getting more intense so I needed something to help calm me at that moment. I mean there was no way I could have just sat through that, its more likely I might have started banging my head on the wall or destroying everything in the room I was in at the time in a frantic attempt to make it stop.
Oh and just to be clear the bad trip I mentioned was a year ago, and I dealt with that just fine I think my prozac experiance was about 10x worse. but the PTSD issue I just described there was more recent....just in case I wasn't clear that those were seperate events in my post.
I do try not to be so hard on myself, but yeah I guess its pretty difficult...I mean any minute I can be made to feel totally helpless and anxious all because I have one of the worst mental disorders one could possibly have. But I guess on the brightside I guess I have an answer to my curiosity about how PTSD feels...I wondered that when it ended up being discussed at school a year before that crap happened when were studying WW1.
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Sweetleaf
Metalhead
Joined: Jan 07, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 14828
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
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| Posted: Wed May 02, 2012 1:34 pm Post subject: |
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| unduki wrote: | Society is what it is. Your frustration is timeless. Google Jean-Jacques Rousseau. Throw a temper tantrum because society won't be what you want? Rousseau started a revolution and look how that turned out...
Its not about it not being the society I want.....its about it being a sick society that has been detrimental to my health and in my opinion other peoples health to. But sometimes outsiders like to simplify what is going on in someone elses head.
Your frustration is temporary. You will grow up and things will get even more muddled until you don't care anymore.
Hahahahaha!
Yeah I could even take prozac to speed up the process...and now that I know growing up is synonomous with becoming a burnt out drone that doesn't even care about anything at all I'm excited. 
Society is such a huge thing. Do or don't do something out of line with accepted standards and you will call attention to yourself - good or bad - it depends on the mood of the collective. However, these days, you don't have to do much to fit in someplace. You just need to find your place or make your own and invite other outcasts in. Soon, you'll be in charge of your own society and your charges will hate you.
Also I do have some friends and some family that do accept me......but I still cannot function within this society, and it still disturbs me just the same. But yes there are some places I fit more or less but they seem quite few and far between.
I just choose to be happy. Screw the rest of you downers. I'm having a good day today no matter what. |
Well that's good I am glad you have that choice in hell its not such an availible choice....and though I am kind hurt you say 'screw you' over feelings I can hardly control I won't say screw you for being happy.
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NTAndrew
Toucan
Joined: Jan 19, 2012
Posts: 280
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| Posted: Wed May 02, 2012 2:07 pm Post subject: |
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Yeah I could even take prozac to speed up the process...and now that I know growing up is synonomous with becoming a burnt out drone that doesn't even care about anything at all I'm excited.
So that's why I'm comfortably numb! Because I'm a burnt out drone!  |
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Sweetleaf
Metalhead
Joined: Jan 07, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 14828
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
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| Posted: Wed May 02, 2012 2:20 pm Post subject: |
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| NTAndrew wrote: | Yeah I could even take prozac to speed up the process...and now that I know growing up is synonomous with becoming a burnt out drone that doesn't even care about anything at all I'm excited.
So that's why I'm comfortably numb! Because I'm a burnt out drone! |
If that is what being a burnt out drone implies to you.....but I was more directing that like at myself like how would I knowingly do something to just not care anymore without feeling like a completely terrible person deep down inside? so that is probably what I would think of myself as if I did that. I was not calling anyone here a mindless drone.
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Sweetleaf
Metalhead
Joined: Jan 07, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 14828
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
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| Posted: Wed May 02, 2012 3:49 pm Post subject: |
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Maybe I can have one of my friends/family members call that potentially helpful mental health place I looked up.....If I can't, and trust me its pretty frusterating not being able to do something as simple as pick up a phone to scedule an appointment all because phones make me nervous in general and its very hard for me open up to someone I don't know about my issues especially over a phone and in person isn't much better. Also I could get a ride there maybe and that way I wouldn't have to go alone.
Not sure it will do any good but if my PTSD is going to be acting up like this every day....I have to try and do something and maybe I should put the job thing on hold because I can't very well work if I'm all unsteady because I feel unbearable anxiety and doom coming on. I mean most people even those close to me don't know how much energy I've been using just to hold it together on the outside so I can appear functional around them because I really don't want to talk to them about whats wrong. Other then that I've been pretty much living at my friends house because I can only put on that act for so long before I have to get away and that is one safe place I have. But I even ending up trying to avoid people like my brother, sister and cousin because I don't want them to see me at my worst.....though they probably did anyways on that bloody camping trip I went with them on. And then I don't even know how to explain that I do want to see them but I just can't deal with it sometimes and thats why I might seem to be avoiding them......which bothers me because they may take my avoiding them wrong. But yeah even right now I feel the anxiety coming on this has gotten much too frequent and severe.
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marshall
Under the whirlwind
Joined: Apr 15, 2007
Posts: 9227
Location: Western Michigan
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| Posted: Wed May 02, 2012 4:03 pm Post subject: |
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| NTAndrew wrote: | Yeah I could even take prozac to speed up the process...and now that I know growing up is synonomous with becoming a burnt out drone that doesn't even care about anything at all I'm excited.
So that's why I'm comfortably numb! Because I'm a burnt out drone! |
It seems like the effectiveness of antidepressants in doing anything is way overblown. I've taken most everything available and so far it's failed to change my personality or turn me into an unfeeling zombie. Sometimes I wish they really would do that. From my experience they might as well be expensive sugar pills with side effects that are much more noticeable than any major change in my mood. I still keep trying because they always say you just have to find the right combination. There are limits to what side effects I'm willing to tolerate for no noticeable improvement though. |
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marshall
Under the whirlwind
Joined: Apr 15, 2007
Posts: 9227
Location: Western Michigan
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| Posted: Wed May 02, 2012 4:59 pm Post subject: |
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Sorry for posting off topic Sweatleaf.
I read the topic because I was concerned but it's hard to give any deep advice right now as I'm having a rough time myself. If you can get a prescription for something like Xanax to take "as needed" you might be able to at least keep the anxiety under control for certain occasions. At least it's an older drug that's not prohibitively expensive, if you can just manage to get a prescription. |
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NTAndrew
Toucan
Joined: Jan 19, 2012
Posts: 280
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| Posted: Wed May 02, 2012 5:18 pm Post subject: |
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| Sweetleaf wrote: | | NTAndrew wrote: | Yeah I could even take prozac to speed up the process...and now that I know growing up is synonomous with becoming a burnt out drone that doesn't even care about anything at all I'm excited.
So that's why I'm comfortably numb! Because I'm a burnt out drone! |
If that is what being a burnt out drone implies to you.....but I was more directing that like at myself like how would I knowingly do something to just not care anymore without feeling like a completely terrible person deep down inside? so that is probably what I would think of myself as if I did that. I was not calling anyone here a mindless drone. |
I knew what you meant. I was just jerkin' your chain.
Oh, by the way, which one IS Pink? |
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NTAndrew
Toucan
Joined: Jan 19, 2012
Posts: 280
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| Posted: Wed May 02, 2012 5:30 pm Post subject: |
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[quote="Sweetleaf"]Maybe I can have one of my friends/family members call that potentially helpful mental health place I looked up.....If I can't, and trust me its pretty frusterating not being able to do something as simple as pick up a phone to scedule an appointment all because phones make me nervous in general and its very hard for me open up to someone I don't know about my issues especially over a phone and in person isn't much better. Also I could get a ride there maybe and that way I wouldn't have to go alone.
I'd call them for you. Of course, that would involve me getting your private information in order to set up the appointment, and you don't know who or what I am. I could be wearing one of those tracking things around my ankle and posting things from my darkened basement with my expansive machete collection hanging on the wall.
I think you can probably find a safer bet around where you live. You have people who care about you, I'm sure they would do it.
If you really don't have any alternatives there, you can send me a personal message with the phone number of the place. I can call them and report back what I find out. |
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Sweetleaf
Metalhead
Joined: Jan 07, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 14828
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
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| Posted: Wed May 02, 2012 5:41 pm Post subject: |
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| marshall wrote: | Sorry for posting off topic Sweatleaf.
I read the topic because I was concerned but it's hard to give any deep advice right now as I'm having a rough time myself. If you can get a prescription for something like Xanax to take "as needed" you might be able to at least keep the anxiety under control for certain occasions. At least it's an older drug that's not prohibitively expensive, if you can just manage to get a prescription. |
maybe if I can scedule that appointment I could get a prescritption for something like that. So I'll try and do that it is possible I might have to have someone else call, but obviously I'd prefer to do it myself other then that. But yeah I've tried counseling and that really doesn't seem to help so hopefully they have more going on than counseling.
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unduki
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 22, 2011
Posts: 651
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| Posted: Wed May 02, 2012 5:51 pm Post subject: |
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I'm sorry I wrote "Screw the downers." I should have put, "Forget the downers."
You really come off as blaming Society for all your troubles. This may be true, in part, but you are part of Society even if you don't like the part you play. Expecting humans to be anything different than what they are is futile. Blaming everyone else isn't the answer.
The only thing you can change is yourself and your attitude. It's pretty simple. I think you're making so much of it because you may be feeling overwhelmed. That's pretty standard.
I've spent time being depressed. I know what suicidal feels like. Please don't assume I don't know about the dark places. I know them all too well. What I do that's different from you is I refuse to waste one more second of my precious life dwelling on the negative. The best way to banish the darkness is to focus on the light. Since you are the master of your own mind, you can choose what you focus on. Why do you choose darkness?
You want to be someone else, like Ozzy Osborne. I remember Ozzy before he got that wild idea to bite the head off that pigeon. Things were hard for him and he acted out of desperation, but he's the one who changed his crappy life. Nobody was there to help him along until he stepped up and did what he did. It helped that he had talent to offer, but nobody just knows how to play a guitar; they work at it for years. What are you working at?
I've known a few rock stars in my time. I don't know why anyone would want to be one. About the only times they're happy is when they're on stage or drugged out of their skulls.
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Sweetleaf
Metalhead
Joined: Jan 07, 2011
Age: 23
Posts: 14828
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
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| Posted: Wed May 02, 2012 5:56 pm Post subject: |
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| NTAndrew wrote: | | Sweetleaf wrote: | | NTAndrew wrote: | Yeah I could even take prozac to speed up the process...and now that I know growing up is synonomous with becoming a burnt out drone that doesn't even care about anything at all I'm excited.
So that's why I'm comfortably numb! Because I'm a burnt out drone! |
If that is what being a burnt out drone implies to you.....but I was more directing that like at myself like how would I knowingly do something to just not care anymore without feeling like a completely terrible person deep down inside? so that is probably what I would think of myself as if I did that. I was not calling anyone here a mindless drone. |
I knew what you meant. I was just jerkin' your chain.
Oh, by the way, which one IS Pink? |
Which member of Pink Floyd is the character based on? I would assume all of them....though a lot of the insanity was mostly referencing Syd Barret like the one scene where he shaves all his hair off is based on Syd Barret. But then there's a lot about Roger Waters and some references to other band members. But basically the character experiances some disturbing things and the plot basically follows how he deals with it and it doesn't leave the dark details out.
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unduki
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 22, 2011
Posts: 651
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| Posted: Wed May 02, 2012 5:56 pm Post subject: |
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| androbot2084 wrote: | That was what it was like when I took band in high school. Most of the musicians did not even want to talk with me. I guess it takes a long time to earn other peoples respect. Funny thing was that these same rude people treated me well and were friendly in other classes such as math. I think musicians are rude when they deal with their competitors.
When I write lyrics I am sort of a parakeet. I take an existing song and I improve the lyrics. I dare say I can actually bring out the true meaning of the song. This is because rock stars are so blinded by their wealth that the true meaning of their songs are buried in their subconscious.
Rock Stars are actually too specialized to really know what they are singing about. For example take the Pink Floyd song "Welcome to the Machine". I have modified this song to include a working description of a machine. This is because I know more about how machines work since I am not a musician.
I guess the question will be asked and that is "who am I to sabotage their sacred lyrics". But it all comes down to a willingness to share the art form. These rock poets no doubt were inspired by outside influences yet they are so offended if anyone dares to become inspired and ends up upstaging the original artist. |
Maybe the original artists would like you to come up with something original of your own.
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Sweetleaf
Metalhead
Joined: Jan 07, 2011
Age: 23
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Location: Somewhere in Colorado
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| Posted: Wed May 02, 2012 6:17 pm Post subject: |
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| unduki wrote: | I'm sorry I wrote "Screw the downers." I should have put, "Forget the downers."
You really come off as blaming Society for all your troubles. This may be true, in part, but you are part of Society even if you don't like the part you play. Expecting humans to be anything different than what they are is futile. Blaming everyone else isn't the answer.
Well I can't blame it all on society, but I can see how in a lot of ways it has contributed to my current state....but lucky for society, it doesn't get the blame for the PTSD. A psycho(not a student) with a gun that decided it was cool to come to school and shoot a student. Also there are teachers that bullied me as well as students, that does quite a lot of damage especially when you face it on a constant basis. Even once you graduate and its supposed to be all over the pain from it all remains. But then I suppose my genes share some blame as I probably had a genetic pre-disposition for some of these mental problems. Then the lack of oxegen at birth couldn't have been good.
The only thing you can change is yourself and your attitude. It's pretty simple. I think you're making so much of it because you may be feeling overwhelmed. That's pretty standard.
Yes I feel very overwhelmed, on edge and anxious...
I've spent time being depressed. I know what suicidal feels like. Please don't assume I don't know about the dark places. I know them all too well. What I do that's different from you is I refuse to waste one more second of my precious life dwelling on the negative. The best way to banish the darkness is to focus on the light. Since you are the master of your own mind, you can choose what you focus on. Why do you choose darkness?
I've been depressed for as long as I can remember.....but I won't assume you don't know about dark places. Also I don't know if you have PTSD but I tried not to dwell on it and just move on with my life and go to college when I was 19. But PTSD doesn't just go away if you ignore it in fact it can get worse. Also I guess I am struggling to see my life as all that precious and I don't really feel like I have a choice. I don't choose the darkness the darkness simply won't leave me alone.
You want to be someone else, like Ozzy Osborne. I remember Ozzy before he got that wild idea to bite the head off that pigeon. Things were hard for him and he acted out of desperation, but he's the one who changed his crappy life. Nobody was there to help him along until he stepped up and did what he did. It helped that he had talent to offer, but nobody just knows how to play a guitar; they work at it for years. What are you working at?
No I didn't mean I want to be like him as a person, I more meant being a vocalist for an awesome band like black sabbath. I am actually reading his biography so I know where he came from. But yeah I was trying to work at school......I graduated highschool then I went to college but the PTSD interferes with that so as much as I tried I failed and so now I am trying to get a job...though now I am thinking I might need help with some of this psychological crap before I try working....but of course I need income so I am not sure how to pull that off.
I've known a few rock stars in my time. I don't know why anyone would want to be one. About the only times they're happy is when they're on stage or drugged out of their skulls. |
I don't know that I've been happy....some drugs cause euphoria though.
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