edgewaters
hibernating
Joined: Aug 17, 2006
Age: 40
Posts: 2426
Location: Ontario
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 Posted: Sun Apr 29, 2012 12:44 am Post subject: |
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| There are times when I just can't handle the internet and I have to go offline for days at a time. I don't respond to anything when this happens, because I'm not even checking. It could just be something like that. |
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IlovemyAspie
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 08, 2012
Posts: 891
Location: On the brink....
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| Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2012 1:55 am Post subject: |
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| Thing with that is I usually put read receipt request on the emails so I know he reads them. He just doesn't respond. For a minute there I thought that we weren't on that "level" yet. But then I'm thinking he told about his AS something no one but family knows. I thought that put us in a pretty trusting situation. |
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happy2know
Butterfly
Joined: Apr 20, 2012
Posts: 14
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| Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2012 10:33 am Post subject: |
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The comforting thing is that after I ask the quesions and then get no response, our interactions are still positive. Meaning I'll talk to him in person and it's not awkward. He doesn't seem upset and if I email something else I'll get a response. It's like nothing ever happened.
If this was a situation between NT's, I think with the non responsiveness there would be some tension or even some avoidance of any contact, in person or otherwise. Because as mentioned, in the NT world, not responding can be interprted as being rude. |
This is exactly how it is with my Aspie guy. I can say/ask anything in a text and he choses to answer it or not. But we never talk about it and it is just like it never happened when we see each other again and it's not awkward. It's weird but yet it makes it feel like the text has not much meaning and the relationship is the important thing, if that makes sense? |
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happy2know
Butterfly
Joined: Apr 20, 2012
Posts: 14
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| Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2012 10:50 am Post subject: Re: Why wont he answer me? |
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Last thing to keep in mind: consider the alternatives. There are reactions worse than silence. A few times, I got horrible, shocking, vicious responses that ripped my heart out and made me wish for silence. All he meant was, "I'm freaking out and can't deal right now." But I didn't know that at the time. So after a few of those, silence was actually a huge relief. |
Wow! I can totally relate to this too!! I have gotten the same when I pushed for "feelings" but then after a day or so, when we would see each other in person he would be begging me "with his eyes" and sweet behavior to forgive him and forget. |
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IlovemyAspie
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 08, 2012
Posts: 891
Location: On the brink....
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| Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2012 5:08 pm Post subject: |
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I can't imagine what I'd do if he "went off" on me. I'd of course make myself understand that it wasn't personal. but it would be hard. One day I went to touch his hair as I had done many times before. He motioned for me to move away and then he said "DON'T.." I backed away and kept talking like nothing happened. It really rattled me. IT REALLY RATTLED ME!  I got over it eventually but it hurt my heart. Thank goodness this was AFTER he told me about his AS. I would have been crushed and devastated had I not known . Later that day he told me he was in a bad mood that day. I kind of think that was his way of explaining his actions and apologizing. Maybe it wasn't but I like to think so. |
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