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OliveOilMom
Queen of cans and jars
Joined: Nov 12, 2011
Posts: 6990
Location: Living in Faulkner's nightmare
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 Posted: Sat May 05, 2012 9:25 pm Post subject: |
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| HalibutSandwich wrote: | | OliveOilMom wrote: | | One reason people go to funerals of distant relatives is because you get to see family you don't normally see. |
That's probably the main reason I hate funerals. Why does someone have to die to bring a family together? |
Everybody asks that at the wake. Everybody says that they need to make it a point to get together before a tragedy. People leave with the intent of doing that and some do talk on the phone or send letters (remember letters?) or emails or talk on FB, but then they get busy with their lives again and just don't have time to do it. Then somebody else dies a few years later and there they are again, saying the same thing.
Human nature I guess.
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Frances
I can be a little much sometimes. |
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slave
Always stuck between 13-38Hz and tired of it.
Joined: Feb 29, 2012
Age: 100
Posts: 1343
Location: Dystopia Planetia
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| Posted: Sat May 05, 2012 10:11 pm Post subject: Re: How do you deal with funerals? |
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| Dnex wrote: | As Aspies, I can assume that nearly all of us don't care for them right?
So how do you end up coping with them? |
I don't.
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Since the birth of civilization, masters have controlled the masses.Our Masters rule over every nation and no one can defy them.They will attain Absolute Power as we reach the Singularity. Any who resist will be destroyed.I will not resist. |
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BuyerBeware
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 29, 2011
Age: 35
Posts: 1051
Location: PA, USA
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| Posted: Sat May 05, 2012 10:23 pm Post subject: |
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I don't show up at funerals unless I have to.
When I have to, I try to look sad and not talk.
That's what everybody expects. Or at least, that's what they can be OK with.
What they can't be OK with, is someone with a delayed emotional response. Someone who's perfectly OK at the time of death, and at the funeral...
...and gets upset two weeks or two months or two years later.
That f***ing freaks them out. So I try to look upset when I'm supposed to be upset, and keep my upsetness to myself later.
Which I think is f**** up. Because it is f**** up. People should be able to just be people.
But, hey-- I'm the one with the disorder. Right?
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I'm tired. I do not have sufficient strength remaining to persevere in the face of adversity. I accept myself as broken and conformity/compliance as the only acceptable existence. I give up.
What's on TV tonight?? |
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enrico_dandolo
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 21, 2011
Posts: 866
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| Posted: Sun May 06, 2012 2:55 am Post subject: |
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I only went to two. In both cases, I didn't know the deceased. I just acted generically like everyone else, internally thinking about completely unrelated things, and rushed to the food as soon as possible, with the central objective of being forgotten.
I truly don't understand the purpose of funerals. It seems such a lavish expense for nothing... |
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slave
Always stuck between 13-38Hz and tired of it.
Joined: Feb 29, 2012
Age: 100
Posts: 1343
Location: Dystopia Planetia
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| Posted: Sun May 06, 2012 8:14 pm Post subject: |
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| enrico_dandolo wrote: | I only went to two. In both cases, I didn't know the deceased. I just acted generically like everyone else, internally thinking about completely unrelated things, and rushed to the food as soon as possible, with the central objective of being forgotten.
I truly don't understand the purpose of funerals. It seems such a lavish expense for nothing... |
Agreed.
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Since the birth of civilization, masters have controlled the masses.Our Masters rule over every nation and no one can defy them.They will attain Absolute Power as we reach the Singularity. Any who resist will be destroyed.I will not resist. |
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Colinn
Majestic Phoenix
Joined: Apr 08, 2012
Posts: 2192
Location: Scotland
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| Posted: Sun May 06, 2012 8:57 pm Post subject: |
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I've never liked the idea of a funeral. Generally at funerals most people will hardly have known the deceased, let alone loved or cared about them. So why even bother attending? Some will say it is to "show respect", I'm not sure how you can express respect for someone you didn't even truly know. The only funerals I've attended are my grandparents, and one other because my mum wanted me to be there. I've never cried or shown any real emotion at a funeral, I prefer to mourn on my own.
I can't stand the wakes and avoid them when I can. Having to respond to distant families attempts at socializing with me despite the fact we wouldn't talk at any other time. All the while I couldn't care less about them with the feeling most like mutual is just an exhausting and pointless social ritual to me.
When my time eventually comes, I would like a simple service at the graveyard where I will be buried, with only close friends and family in attendance. |
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namaste
Enigmatic Charismatically Odd
Joined: Apr 15, 2011
Posts: 1883
Location: Hindustan
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| Posted: Mon May 07, 2012 1:09 pm Post subject: |
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| Colinn wrote: | | most people will hardly have known the deceased, let alone loved or cared about them. So why even bother attending? Some will say it is to "show respect", I'm not sure how you can express respect for someone you didn't even truly know. . |
the same applies for marriage also
many people invite near and far people for their marriages and it seems odd attending the wedding of someone you barely know.
i remember my childhood neighbour called me up for his wedding i attended the same we were not in touch so many years and only because he invited me i attended it.......but after that he never kept in touch and once i remember i added him on a social network he didnt even bother to add me so whats the purpose of attending any marriage or funeral of person you are barely in touch with.......
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