|
zemanski
Sea Gull
Joined: Apr 21, 2012
Age: 48
Posts: 249
Location: UK
|
 Posted: Mon May 21, 2012 1:10 pm Post subject: |
 |
|
I've lost count of the times my daughter, now in her teens, has stopped me stepping out onto the road in front of traffic or guided me away from the down escalator I was attempting to go up on, lol! It's a sort of private joke that I only taught her road sense so she could look after me!
I spent today in the hospital, first my daughter's physio and then to A&E for a splinter removal - only there an hour and a half when I got an emergency call from the university because my son had a meltdown in an exam (they put him in a room with motion sensors on the lighting and the lights kept going out; he only lasted 15 mins) so had to leave only to return after lunch to sit for another 3 hours or so. By the end I was stimming so hard, and on the edge of tears, all over the tiniest splinter and had to ring home to get myself grounded more than once. Had to do it though, the GP couldn't see me till Thursday and I can't risk infection as I'm not allowed antibiotics.
Understanding from family is essential
And no, it's absolutely normal to dread visiting family - I actually prefer the little ones being there though, when they are around I can let myself be distracted from the social family stuff I can't cope with and get down on the floor with them, it's the adults i find difficult, I'm just not cut out to be a social animal even with family in small doses. What I hate most, though is family visiting me, itdisrupts our little corner of the world too much. |
|
| Back to top |
|
Budfarmer
Blue Jay
Joined: May 01, 2012
Posts: 78
|
| Posted: Mon May 21, 2012 2:27 pm Post subject: Re: My Facade is Slipping... |
|
|
| hyksos55 wrote: | Budfarmer,
In your first post you put into words what I have been feeling lately. I am 42 and have an appointment next month to discuss with a psychologist the possibly of being an Aspie. I will have to admit it will be a relief if it is positive as it would explain a lot in my life. I felt like I was broken and if I worked hard enough I would be able to understand the things around me better. I realize now I too have created a facade and can no longer maintain it. My wife and sons have been very supportive and are the ones to first recognize the potential signs. I have only been able to skim over some of the other post because I am at work but I look forward to reading more later. The best thing now is I no longer feel alone and isolated, I truly feel like I belong to something for a change. Thanks to all of you at WP. |
Hyksos, good luck with the appointment. I found it to be a relief when I went for mine, to talk to somebody and not feel like I have to filter what I say is unbelievably freeing. I don't have many of those moments in my life. My psychologist started with a general "what's on your mind?" which immediately made mine turn to static, but he could see that I was trying really hard to snag hold of a solid thought to express and so he started asking questions. And that did wonders for opening the floodgates for me. I had been doing a lot of reading on Aspergers so I knew some of what he was expecting to hear, but it was just a burden-lifting thing to sit and tell somebody many of the things I've kept hidden for so long.
I am still pretty new to the whole "I'm not really broken" concept and sometimes I forget that my secret it out. And then, when I remember that it's okay, I feel so much better than I have in the past.
Example: My hubby is an NT, and a very extroverted one at that. We are SO different. He is a very social character and likes to be in attendance at everything. I tag along when I can't get out of it or if there is something there for me that is more desireable than my desire not to go. We accepted an invitation to a Bar Mitzvah that was to take place this past weekend. I usually do okay in social settings when I'm with him because he is very good at steering the conversation my way only if he knows I am comfortable with the subject and have something to add so I agreed to go with him.
However, at the last minute, he had to work and couldn't go. We talked about it for hours ahead of time and he worked with me to prepare me to go by myself. It was going to be okay since I knew most everyone there. So, on Saturday morning, I got up, got dressed, wrapped the gift and got in the car. On the way to the event (less than 5 miles from my home), I broke down into tears and just couldn't face the possibility of being there for hours without him.
I couldn't make myself go the last mile. I sat in my car about a block from the building and cried. Then it hit me... it's okay to feel this way. It's who I am. And dammit, I'm 48 years old and I don't have to go if I don't want to. So I turned the car around and headed back home. And felt immediately better. When hubby came home that evening, he asked how it went. I confessed that I didn't make it. He just smiled, patted me patronizingly on the head (the only one who can do that without losing a limb), and said That's okay. I'll just tell them I had to work. I love that man!
_________________
I can explain it to you, but I cannot understand it for you.
-----------------------------------
AS quotient: Scored 42
Your Aspie score: 175 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 30 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie |
|
| Back to top |
|
hyksos55
Deinonychus
Joined: May 16, 2012
Posts: 337
Location: Texas
|
| Posted: Mon May 21, 2012 2:57 pm Post subject: My Facade is Slipping... |
|
|
Budfarmer wrote:
[Hyksos, good luck with the appointment.]
Thank you.
Again I can relate to your last post. If my wife or my kids aren’t with me I don’t even venture into any social events. Heck I can barely go into a store by myself. Lest someone might try and converse with me.
zemanski wrote:
[Understanding from family is essential]
So true.
_________________
"The law is what we live with; justice is sometimes harder to achieve." Sherlock Holmes |
|
| Back to top |
|
hyksos55
Deinonychus
Joined: May 16, 2012
Posts: 337
Location: Texas
|
| Posted: Mon May 21, 2012 2:58 pm Post subject: My Facade is Slipping... |
|
|
Alright, how do you do the quotes in the white boxes?
_________________
"The law is what we live with; justice is sometimes harder to achieve." Sherlock Holmes |
|
| Back to top |
|
Budfarmer
Blue Jay
Joined: May 01, 2012
Posts: 78
|
| Posted: Mon May 21, 2012 3:09 pm Post subject: Re: My Facade is Slipping... |
|
|
| hyksos55 wrote: | | Alright, how do you do the quotes in the white boxes? |
Click on the Quote button in the upper right corner of the message you wish to quote... 
Now I have another question for everybody...
What do you do when you prepare for a conversation in which you disclose your Aspieness only to have the NT blow it off with comments like "Oh everybody feels like that sometimes, you'll be fine." I had no response for that. I just stared. And the other person thought she had done her job to brighten my day, I guess, and wandered away to have conversation with someone more stimulating I'm sure.
I'm gonna go rock and quote Pi now.
_________________
I can explain it to you, but I cannot understand it for you.
-----------------------------------
AS quotient: Scored 42
Your Aspie score: 175 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 30 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie |
|
| Back to top |
|
hyksos55
Deinonychus
Joined: May 16, 2012
Posts: 337
Location: Texas
|
| Posted: Mon May 21, 2012 4:20 pm Post subject: Re: My Facade is Slipping... |
|
|
Click on the Quote button in the upper right corner of the message you wish to quote...
Testing. |
|
| Back to top |
|
hyksos55
Deinonychus
Joined: May 16, 2012
Posts: 337
Location: Texas
|
| Posted: Mon May 21, 2012 4:31 pm Post subject: My Facade is Slipping... |
|
|
Still can't get it to work. That's pretty bad still socially inept on a website for Aspie's.
Budfarmer don’t even get me started on your last comment. You reveal your heart to someone and they hand you that line "Oh everybody feels like that sometimes, you'll be fine." Well guess what Jack the last forty years of my life says you’re wrong. It’s like looking at someone missing a limb (Perhaps because they patted you patronizingly on the head) and calling it a flesh wound. Absurd!
_________________
"The law is what we live with; justice is sometimes harder to achieve." Sherlock Holmes |
|
| Back to top |
|
hyksos55
Deinonychus
Joined: May 16, 2012
Posts: 337
Location: Texas
|
| Posted: Mon May 21, 2012 4:31 pm Post subject: My Facade is Slipping... |
|
|
Still can't get it to work. That's pretty bad still socially inept on a website for Aspie's.
Budfarmer don’t even get me started on your last comment. You reveal your heart to someone and they hand you that line "Oh everybody feels like that sometimes, you'll be fine." Well guess what Jack the last forty years of my life says you’re wrong. It’s like looking at someone missing a limb (Perhaps because they patted you patronizingly on the head) and calling it a flesh wound. Absurd!
_________________
"The law is what we live with; justice is sometimes harder to achieve." Sherlock Holmes |
|
| Back to top |
|
hyksos55
Deinonychus
Joined: May 16, 2012
Posts: 337
Location: Texas
|
| Posted: Mon May 21, 2012 4:32 pm Post subject: My Facade is Slipping... |
|
|
Still can't get it to work. That's pretty bad still socially inept on a website for Aspie's.
Budfarmer don’t even get me started on your last comment. You reveal your heart to someone and they hand you that line "Oh everybody feels like that sometimes, you'll be fine." Well guess what Jack the last forty years of my life says you’re wrong. It’s like looking at someone missing a limb (Perhaps because they patted you patronizingly on the head) and calling it a flesh wound. Absurd!
_________________
"The law is what we live with; justice is sometimes harder to achieve." Sherlock Holmes |
|
| Back to top |
|
Budfarmer
Blue Jay
Joined: May 01, 2012
Posts: 78
|
| Posted: Mon May 21, 2012 8:56 pm Post subject: Re: My Facade is Slipping... |
|
|
| hyksos55 wrote: | Still can't get it to work. That's pretty bad still socially inept on a website for Aspie's.
Budfarmer don’t even get me started on your last comment. You reveal your heart to someone and they hand you that line "Oh everybody feels like that sometimes, you'll be fine." Well guess what Jack the last forty years of my life says you’re wrong. It’s like looking at someone missing a limb (Perhaps because they patted you patronizingly on the head) and calling it a flesh wound. Absurd! |
You've confused two of my posts...my hubby patted me on the head. He is allowed. He has put up with being married to as Aspiechick for 23 years... anybody else pats me on the head loses an arm.
But otherwise, I agree. Since my diagnosis and my spiralling journey inward, I have begun to notice the glaring fakeness of so many of the NTs around me in the office. They laugh and posture and I can watch them from a distance and tell you exactly what the conversation is like, if not verbatim...but it's like watching a movie. It's not something I can participate in because I'm not in the script. NT's don't get that. They were all born with a copy of the script in hand and they seem to know all the scenes and how they are supposed to play out. I feel like I showed up dressed for Star Trek to the set of Little House on the Prairie.
But I'm sure they've all felt like that... all the time... Right.
_________________
I can explain it to you, but I cannot understand it for you.
-----------------------------------
AS quotient: Scored 42
Your Aspie score: 175 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 30 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie |
|
| Back to top |
|
zemanski
Sea Gull
Joined: Apr 21, 2012
Age: 48
Posts: 249
Location: UK
|
| Posted: Tue May 22, 2012 4:17 am Post subject: |
|
|
We all have our moments, just for most people they are brief, fleeting and embarrassing memories, no more.
Everyone falls down the stairs once or twice in their lives, for most people doing it once is enough to teach them never to do it again, but if you're dyspraxic you need to hold on to the bannister every time you use the stairs or you'll be in A&E on a monthly basis because the strategies to avoid falling are just not available in the same way.
Having spent yesterday in A&E for the fourth time this year (and I didn't bother to go last time I fell down the stairs), I know all about this, lol! |
|
| Back to top |
|
hyksos55
Deinonychus
Joined: May 16, 2012
Posts: 337
Location: Texas
|
| Posted: Tue May 22, 2012 12:11 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Sorry I was very confused yesterday and not much better today.
Very good comments. Good analogy of the movie set and script, really enjoyed that.
Sometimes I don’t know if I’m in a 30 min. comedy or an hour long drama.
Dyspraxic is something I am new too but suspect I have since I am very clumsy and uncoordinated. Just thought it was part of being a nerd.
I’ll try not to post this one three times like I did last time.
Cheers
_________________
"The law is what we live with; justice is sometimes harder to achieve." Sherlock Holmes |
|
| Back to top |
|
zemanski
Sea Gull
Joined: Apr 21, 2012
Age: 48
Posts: 249
Location: UK
|
| Posted: Tue May 22, 2012 12:19 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Dyspraxia, now generally diagnosed as Developmental Coordination Disorder, is a common comorbid of ASCs and it is actually unusual to find a well coordinated person on the spectrum to the extent that any assessment of need for a person on the spectrum will include motor coordination as a matter of course. |
|
| Back to top |
|
CockneyRebel
Mick Avory, Sensitive brown-eyed Sweet Pea
Joined: Jul 18, 2004
Age: 38
Posts: 87360
Location: In a quiet and peaceful garden, where gentle Mick Avory-like Sweet Peas grow.
|
|
| Back to top |
|
Budfarmer
Blue Jay
Joined: May 01, 2012
Posts: 78
|
| Posted: Wed May 23, 2012 8:08 am Post subject: |
|
|
| zemanski wrote: | | Dyspraxia, now generally diagnosed as Developmental Coordination Disorder, is a common comorbid of ASCs and it is actually unusual to find a well coordinated person on the spectrum to the extent that any assessment of need for a person on the spectrum will include motor coordination as a matter of course. |
Well I won't be surprising anyone by my good motor coordination today... I'm wearing coffee in three places on my clothing and I've only just arrived ...
_________________
I can explain it to you, but I cannot understand it for you.
-----------------------------------
AS quotient: Scored 42
Your Aspie score: 175 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 30 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
