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Warren
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Nov 12, 2006
Age: 29
Posts: 180
Location: Portsmouth
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 Posted: Mon Dec 18, 2006 8:27 pm Post subject: |
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Verbal bullying effected me very severely pshycologically. When youve been through it 20 years you believe what they said as well.
I have zero confidence, self esteem, self worth as a result. I'm afraid of being me as it gets me hurt.
Only way i cope is by pretending 100% to almost be a different person.
Seeing shrinks as a result in combination with other problems. |
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logitechdog
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 20, 2006
Age: 25
Posts: 970
Location: Uk - Thornaby
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| Posted: Mon Dec 18, 2006 8:45 pm Post subject: |
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Not really as the bully's get a suprise when they push me too much, I don't see it effecting me as a hole, as alot of people stuck up for me - even if I didn't really need it....
Mainly my lack of social skills & that....
Autism is usually diagnosed in childhood, when a parent may raise concerns about their child with a GP or health visitor. The most common age for diagnosis is between three and four years, though some children may not be diagnosed until the age of 12.
Mild autism spectrum disorders, such as Asperger's syndrome, are often not noticed until the child starts school because many aspects of their development are normal. At school their poor social skills are more noticeable and challenging behaviour may arise. |
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jonathan79
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 02, 2006
Posts: 521
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| Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 1:49 am Post subject: |
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I have a pretty bad problem with tics from my OCD, hence I used to make all kinds of wierd movements. Like blinking my eyes really forcefully, or rolling my shoulders, or clearing my throat. You can imagine the teasing that would occur in elementary and junior high. No doubt it has contributed to my perceptions on how people feel about me. But, it only made me learn how to control my mind more, how to force myself to shut down urges that I couldn't control. Still, I would have rather not gone through any of that.
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Only a miracle can save me; too bad I don't believe in miracles. |
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goomba
Deinonychus
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Joined: Sep 18, 2006
Posts: 312
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| Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 2:08 am Post subject: |
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| I was non-verbal up until about age 3, and when I began speaking I would talk and talk and talk. I was told to shut up so many times by my family. Very quickly I learnt to speak when spoken to (actually, my mom always preached that to me). I am still very shy and people often ask me why I am so shy or why I do not speak. I was bullied a bit at school, but mostly in my family. Basically, my brother could do anything he wanted to me and it didn't seem to matter what he did, because he hardly got in trouble. I did get picked on a lot in grade 6 when a kid a year older than me picked on me and I fought back. It was a boy and I beat him up pretty bad. I was the calm, mature kid and I just went apeshit on him. I don't think he saw it coming. He was friends with the popular girls in grade 7, who would torment me until they graduated. Nevermind that I this 11 year old girl beat up a boy a grade older than her. I suppose being shy does bring about less conflict, at the same time I don't believe it is healthy for me to speak as little as I do. I know I appear meek and I need assertiveness training, or something. |
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Rory
Raven
Joined: Sep 30, 2006
Posts: 104
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| Posted: Sun Dec 24, 2006 3:59 am Post subject: |
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| I was physically and psychologically bullied a lot at school, mainly between ages 8-10. This was over 40 years ago now, but I know I still have the scars, in the form of being mistrustful of people and seeing others as hostile, therefore trying to avoid contact. Social phobia, nervousness around people. |
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Cowgirlchic23
Hummingbird
Joined: Apr 01, 2006
Posts: 21
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| Posted: Sun Dec 24, 2006 10:32 pm Post subject: |
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| Bullying has affected my entire life, tremendously! I trust no one who is close to my age. I'd rather hang out with people way older than me. People have called me, "feisty' or "defensive" and really its FEAR. I always on alert about getting hurt by someone. I can't tell when someone is teasing me with good humor or malice. But also I have an aunt and uncle, I hate and have no trust or respect for. My aunt verbally abused me when she was drunk and my uncle fed off of it too. I have a friend, Manuel, he teased me a lot and yelled at me a lot, and I've started to hate him. But I realize with him, if he could understand the hurt I have had in my life from bullying and stuff, he would feel really bad about what he has done to me. His only problem is, he just doesn't understand me. Oh well!!! |
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Beno
Blue Jay
Joined: Oct 29, 2006
Posts: 78
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| Posted: Fri Jan 12, 2007 9:24 pm Post subject: |
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I was bullied all the way from being 4 years old up to 13 or so. And then I started sticking up for myself.
I don't think it's scarred me or anything, but it has made me a heck of a lot more cynical than I think I would have been. |
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calibaby
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Jan 12, 2007
Age: 36
Posts: 179
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| Posted: Sat Jan 13, 2007 5:24 am Post subject: |
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Yes, I think my brother and my dad is guilty of that the most more than people outside the home. Both have said
Act your age... Grow up... and stuff like that.
to people I act really immature. my brother in his frustration with me has said I am retarded. but in reality. I am not. it might come out as if i am in how i speak. but....
I just can't express myself verbally like i want to. sure I like stuff like video games, skateboarding and arts and crafts but I view alot of the world really boring. it doesnt interest me. |
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kayetes
Snowy Owl
Joined: Dec 19, 2006
Posts: 134
Location: Germany
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| Posted: Sat Jan 13, 2007 12:59 pm Post subject: |
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Bullying very much molded me the way I am now. Before I was bullied I had my little friends and I was optimistic about things. I had very good marks and liked learning, until the other children started teaching me that it was a bad thing to be better than them in class. After a suicidial period in my late teens and after I graduated, I am now what I am, without friends, generally pessimistic and wallowing in self-pity of course lol 
I think also that bullying made me an arrogant person towards people who I consider weaker than me or who I consider my friends and a very submissive person towards people who I consider my enemies. I try to make myself aware of these impulses, but they actually hinder me from making friendships, for when I see a woman, who I might like and when she does show some kind of affection, I will then act arrogant, condescendant towards her, I might feel a kind of revengeful feeling. It's weird, I think it has to do with what happened to my self-esteem.
I am accustomed to never have friends or a girlfriend, so in the unprobable case, that e.g. a girl should like me, I would first adore her, after the first kiss perhaps treat her in a very arrogant manner, and so lose her again.
I kind of would feel that she has to be a stupid woman (or friend) to have been deceived by my social mask. Or I would think that she has to has very little self-esteem to relate herself to such a useless fellow like me.
Last edited by kayetes on Sat Jan 13, 2007 1:20 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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RTSgamerFTW
4th Espada
Joined: Sep 28, 2006
Posts: 4793
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| Posted: Sat Jan 13, 2007 1:19 pm Post subject: |
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| Unknown wrote: | | When they was talking behind my back and teasing me,now i want to kill them assholes. |
Now because of them,i have NO self-esteem,NO self-worth and i hate myself.
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My sig pwns. |
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kayetes
Snowy Owl
Joined: Dec 19, 2006
Posts: 134
Location: Germany
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| Posted: Sat Jan 13, 2007 1:31 pm Post subject: |
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| Unknown wrote: | | When they was talking behind my back and teasing me,now i want to kill them assholes. |
Actually, in case I should by chance see some of my old classmates I would again feel like the child of back then and thus act submissively. I could maybe say, that I hate them, but I would find it very hard to act that way towards them. I don't know how I feel towards these people, I just wish to never see them again in life. My best way of life would be away on a lonesome isle without anyone but me or in a grave without even me  |
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Hoorahville
Sea Gull
Joined: Jan 15, 2007
Posts: 236
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| Posted: Mon Jan 15, 2007 12:08 pm Post subject: |
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Being bullied in elementary school taught me to be mean. Combined with an inherent ability to not really care about other people, it turned out I could inflict pain pretty easily when I wanted to. I got beat up once, decided I didn't like it, and started fighting back.
I don't suggest whacking anyone with a wrench, at least not in school, but it did a lot for keeping people from bothering me during those years. |
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sderenzi
Sea Gull
Joined: Jan 03, 2007
Posts: 206
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| Posted: Mon Jan 15, 2007 7:02 pm Post subject: |
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| I was bullied, it effected me, I am sad :-( |
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Anubis
Prophet of The Future
Joined: Sep 07, 2006
Age: 121
Posts: 13838
Location: Mount Herculaneum/England
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| Posted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 10:16 am Post subject: |
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Yes. Some yobs mocked my appearance on the bus today. They seemed like losers. I ignored them. I have been verbally abused and joked about too many times.
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Lalalalai.... I'll cut you up! |
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chimpy
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Nov 28, 2006
Age: 27
Posts: 41
Location: Brno, Czech Republic
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| Posted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 11:29 am Post subject: |
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I was bullied by classmates since beginning of Elementary school, but my mother was teaching at the same school, so I had a kind of immunity. Well, I don't really know, whether it was good for me or not. The only people that tried to bully me was just stupid assholes, thus I was simply ignoring them. It was easy to believe that they have no real reason to do it and they are just stupid and jealous.
At the beginning of High school I just exploited my obsessions and I accidentally achieved the reputation of genius. This gave me unusual respect among my classmates and some girls even fell in love with me because of this. This sounds really nice, but I was an aspie and I was just doing what I liked and nothing more. Of course, the other classmates were a little bit jealous and they started to bully me right after they found my weaknesses. I was unable to defend myself. This was really weird time and in combination with consequences of pubert and my father's death, I'm still wondering about my survival.
The university environment returned me some self-confidence, but I still didn't know that source of my problems is AS. It basicaly means, that it was useless to apply methods learned from my NT colleagues. I didn't use my skills effectively and I was getting overwhelmed easily. I was really convinced, that I'm capable to study and work as anybody else and I'm just lazy. Pretty silly. Of course, I was still bullied by my peers for my odd social behavior, but these attacks were not so offensive and mostly behind my back, thus it was easier to ignore them.
After I entered grad school I started to train my social skills. Well, I still didn't understand why I'm not as good as my peers, but I was becoming a little bit better. It was a girl, who tried to train me to maintain eye contact. She didn't understand the reason why I'm so weak in eye contact, but she found funny teaching somebody such unusual thing. To be honest, she didn't help me much, but she pointed out that I have a problem, and that was also important. She also taught me a lot of other important aspects of basic social interaction. However, there is no happy end. I was still terribly weak in social things and she definitely gave it up and leaved me, thinking I'm a psycho. She was right. A couple months afterwards, I found some information about AS on the net and I realized that I have it, without any doubt.
I'm still bullied by people who have enough courage to show their opinion. I still don't know how to maintain eye contact, how to behave in company of the other people, how to react their questions properly and how to recognize that I'm talking too much. I lost my job because I was unable to discuss with my boss properly. I bought some books on AS and they helped me a little bit, but I'm still at the beginning. Sometimes I think, that it's already too late for me to learn these things.
I can recognize that people are laughing at me behind my back, but I don't know what to do with it. Anyway, they have quite good reason for doing this. In fact, for most of the people I'm just a guy who is lacking basic aspects of social behavior. And the most of the people don't know anything about AS. |
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