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Angel_Maria
Raven
Joined: Jan 18, 2009
Age: 22
Posts: 122
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 Posted: Mon Jun 08, 2009 1:41 pm Post subject: |
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| MONKEY wrote: | | I have been bullied since nursery, and it has had an effect because I am now worse off socially, I've gone from being quite outgoing to being really quiet and withdrawn, and I'm very self consious and any sound of laughter makes me think it's directing at me. |
Yeah i get like that too or if someone is whispering i think its about me and it has caused me to be very paranoid too
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Life can be one big test. We just have to be brave enough and clever enough and strong enough to pass. |
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MissConstrue
Has left WP.
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Joined: Feb 05, 2008
Posts: 16635
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| Posted: Mon Jun 08, 2009 5:55 pm Post subject: |
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^I use to do that a lot too. I think I'm a little more in tune now than I use to be. I really think there's something to be said about bullying and how much it can traumatize some people. I get really sick when people say it's stage all kids go through as if they can handle this crap on their own.
Saddened by your story Angel. I hope you get better as time goes or able to get this issue dealt with. I know exactly how that feels to be afraid. I often wonder depending on the bullying if there isn't some PTSD involved. I think it's something that should be taken into account as any other abuse...I think it really does affect people psychologically though the outcomes in behavior and treatment may differ.
I'm somewhat against the myth that bullies are people who were bullied. If that were true, I'd be one of them. I often wonder if there isn't a dissassociative personality at work for this type of behavior depending on how severe it is and of course the age which is especially shown in teenage boys. I was not what you call the bully as a kid but more of the one who was always frightened. It's taken a lot of meds and counseling for much of the clinical depression. Not saying that bullying was exclusively for the way I behaved but I do think it plays a role as well as other things involved. Going to highschool was more like going to war. It was very hard for me to sit and learn while I was mostly on survival mode.
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Zerostanzi
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: May 26, 2009
Age: 20
Posts: 55
Location: Oklahoma
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| Posted: Tue Jun 09, 2009 4:22 am Post subject: Bullying |
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| Bullying has made me more paranoid, such as if I hear a group of people laughing, whispering, or talking, I'll think it's about me and anyone who tries to befriend or talk to me, I assume they have a ulterior motive for doing so. I also don't really have a desire to make friends anymore and I'm more silent and angry then I used to be. |
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ebec11
Missing In Action: Innocence
Joined: Jan 18, 2008
Posts: 6242
Location: Somewhere in Canada
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| Posted: Thu Jun 11, 2009 8:32 pm Post subject: |
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Yeah, kids would run away from me in the playground, they laughed at me, they ignored me, even in grade seven they spread rumors about me. I used to be so bubby, and now that side of me is gone.
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Even if you feel like you cannot walk anymore, that your legs are tired and there's a snowstorm out, you need to keep walking. You need to keep walking for those few times that the sunshine beams down on you. It's worth it, even if it doesn't feel like it |
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Cynic
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Mar 23, 2008
Age: 35
Posts: 41
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| Posted: Tue Jun 16, 2009 5:10 am Post subject: |
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| Veresae wrote: | | Well it could be one of the reasons why I'm so cynical. I'm slightly paranoid, don't trust people often, and tend to expect the worst from everyday people as a whole. |
A sense of realism there. Once you're at the bottom of the social ladder, you are most likely to see the worst from everyday people. |
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Daniella
Blue Jay
Joined: Jun 10, 2009
Age: 19
Posts: 90
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| Posted: Tue Jun 16, 2009 5:19 am Post subject: |
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I've been bullied quite bad from age 5 - 9.
Verbal abuse, but also physical. I got beaten up very now and then.
And lots of sneaky things like being closed out of a group and stuff.
Apparently, I was traumatised with it. I couldn't even think about it without crying.
Then I did EMDR at my psychologist some months ago, and that really helped.
Well, it made me really paranoid. I don't really trust people anymore.
I guess it kind of made me selfish as well. And not-caring about other people. |
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Tory_canuck
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 09, 2009
Age: 23
Posts: 957
Location: Red Deer, Alberta, Canada
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| Posted: Wed Jun 17, 2009 4:49 am Post subject: |
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Yes, it has.For 8 years of my school life, it was like I was in hell at times.People at times can be really malicious.Because of what I endured, I keep to myself and am not very good in social situations.They spread false rumours about me, pretend to be my friends, then say things behind my back.High School was worse than elementary for me.In elementary, I was physically bullied, but with that I was able to defend myself.In high school, they spread rumours, and it is impossible to kick the living $#@#@ out of a whole school.I was not punished for defending myself in school, the teachers were fair and if a kid bullied me and if my foot somehow ended up their prosterior end, the teacher would tell that kid they rightfully got what they deserved.I just focused on survival and passing with good enough marks to graduate, as well as working to help my family pay the bills.Employment was what helped me survive, but like a war veteran, memories of past horrors and pain cannot be erased by getting out of the situation and surviving. I still have flashbacks once in a while of some bad experiences in school and can at times still hear the taunting.I am bitter, distrustful, and show no empathy.College is a bit better, but I am still ignored by many in my class and cant somehow fit in...they are all the snobby cheerleader types from high school movies.I have nothing in common with them.Whenever I try to invite them camping or out for a bbq at the park, they make up excuses.I learned not to associate with them.I drink like a fish and smoke pot to self medicate.I have never attempted suicide but there is always an emptiness within for what I put up with.I am pretty withdrawn to those I dont know...the only time I am open and talkative and lively, is when I am with people I trust such as my college instructors, my parents, and other family and family friends.It helped being in the workforce for 2 years after school.I trusted my coworkers and was able to "rehabilitate" a little before going to college.That grocery store I worked at was a blessing in a sense that it allowed me to get myself together before going to college.With the current situation being my classmates ignoring me, I am glad I worked those 2 years, otherwise I wouldnt have the strength to keep going.At my last year of high school, I was about ready to break down, but luckily, I had some online freinds on another site that kept me going.They are all NTs but most of them were not vicous to me. They were very encouraging.I still carry the scars and burden of the past, as well as memories that still haunt me to this day.
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Honour over deciet, merit over luck, courage over popularity, duty over entitlement...dont let the cliques fool you for they have no honour...only superficial deciet.
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RoisinDubh
Deinonychus
Joined: Jan 25, 2009
Posts: 325
Location: Somewhere else entirely
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| Posted: Wed Jun 17, 2009 1:32 pm Post subject: |
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GOD, yes....
Most obviously to everyone are the ED's and fitness/nutrition obsession I developed due to years of bullying for being overweight. Despite both in- and out-patient treatment, years on I still obsessively count calories in and out, weigh myself at least 4 or 5 times daily, and fall into a seriously deep depression if my weight even rises to normal for my height. It's not an appearance thing for me....it's all about having self-control and having it be obvious to anyone who looks at me. I realised that starvation alone isn't going to do it....being so skinny and undernourished that I can barely move is as much a sign of lack of control as being fat was, but having a ridiculously low body fat % AND being muscular from hours at the gym shows MASSIVE self-discipline. I don't care if people think I'm too thin to be attractive, so long as no one EVER accuses me of being a glutton with no self-control ever again.
Another one has to do with being made fun of for being poor. The moment I started working, I began saving obsessively. I still do, to this day, because DAMN IT, I will NEVER be poor again, if I've anything to say about it. I freak out something dreadful if I realise I'm short on cash when I'm out, and the last person who said anything regarding me being short on money got a new arsehole reamed for himself.
I'm also extremely up myself regarding my intelligence. It's a leftover from being a kid and being told it was the only thing I had going for me. I do try and play it down a bit, but apparently, it's still there, and still really obnoxious.
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'I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed man' -Oscar Wilde |
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Tory_canuck
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 09, 2009
Age: 23
Posts: 957
Location: Red Deer, Alberta, Canada
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| Posted: Fri Jun 26, 2009 12:13 am Post subject: |
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| Eudevie wrote: | | calandale wrote: | | Eudevie - you shouldn't have to suffer the physical and mental abuse that your stepfather is putting you through. Have you spoken to someone at school about this? There are procedures in place that will allow you to get help. |
I'm Graduated from school. Also, If I DO do something, I'll go to jail. During a psycho phase, I wrote that I wanted to kill him. I got hospitalized for it, but he has a copy. If that is shown to the police, I'm screwed.
Also, I can't tell my dad in fear of HIS safety. My dad would probably try to attack him...physically unstable MS dude(My dad) VS a ex-navy man who can left around 200 pounds...
Also, because I'm not a minor anymore, I don't think I'm able to do anything... |
If he does go after you, you do have legal recourse.I dont know much about the laws in your country, but in Canada, you will be found NOT GUILTY under the defense of not being criminally responsible due to mental illness or incapacity during the time of the alleged offense, The fact you were having a "psycho phase" and were hospitalized as a result, is sufficient evidence to have a not guilty verdict and will work in your favour.
Please do not take this as professional legal advice since I am not a lawyer.I am a paralegal student.I would recommend that you see a lawyer and explore your legal options.
_________________
Honour over deciet, merit over luck, courage over popularity, duty over entitlement...dont let the cliques fool you for they have no honour...only superficial deciet.
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whilily
Butterfly
Joined: Apr 12, 2009
Posts: 16
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| Posted: Fri Jun 26, 2009 4:32 am Post subject: |
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Much of the time ,No...
But sometimes ... Yes (I'm a human too you know  ) |
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Ana54
International Incident Initiator
Joined: Dec 27, 2005
Age: 21
Posts: 7373
Location: Canada and the US
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| Posted: Fri Jun 26, 2009 10:49 am Post subject: |
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I was psychologically abused for years. I have no clue if they knew they were doing that to me. My mother psychologically abused me and sometimes claimed she didn`t know it hurt me, other times she said she was just trying to make me learn, or make me realize, or that she was frustrated. But getting frustrated with someone is abusing them, and using abuse and force to make them learn might hurt them more than help them and often doesn`t even make them learn.
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Banned from WP between 5/09 and 9/09 for not answering 2 mods' PMs. I know that I never repeatedly broke the same rule. My boyfreind adverb and my mother Mysteria were banned for being my boyfriend and my mother. They did nothing. |
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marshall
Under the whirlwind
Joined: Apr 15, 2007
Age: 29
Posts: 2777
Location: North West United States
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| Posted: Fri Jun 26, 2009 2:03 pm Post subject: |
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I was teased somewhat more than average but I witnessed other's being bullied worse than me. My biggest problem was that I couldn't handle it at all. One mean remark could upset me for days at a time. I'd be literally trembling and completely unable to work or concentrate on anything. Sometime's I'd get so bitter and full of rage that I'd come home and take out my anger on friends and family members. I'd snap at people and I'd lock myself in my bedroom and refuse to come out.
Grades 7-8 were probably the worst for me. I noticed that some kids who had formerly been friendly towards me in earlier grades became nasty jock bullies. It was then that I lost all desire to talk to anyone during school and completely isolated myself. I was so quiet that people were afraid to bully me to my face but I know people mentioned me behind my back.
I think with my type of emotional wiring I'm more traumatized by my own emotions than by other people. I just don't handle stress or conflict at all. I'm constantly full of anxiety and fear and anger. |
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JPanzer
Deinonychus
Joined: Oct 23, 2008
Age: 14
Posts: 313
Location: East Sussex, England.
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| Posted: Fri Jun 26, 2009 3:00 pm Post subject: |
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I've been bullied from Nursery to Year 8.
I hated it. I felt lonely with no one to help, no shoulder to cry on or anything.
Since i couldn't express what i felt to anyone it just built up inside me and i began to have really bad thoughts like killing them or making their life a complete misery to thinking about committing suicide. Now whenever someone insults me i
I guess what made it worse was that my mum worked fulltime as a teacher in my primary school and i always went to her, so i never learnt how to stand on my own two legs and actually stand up for myself.
I've become paranoid, awkward and have lost almost all my self confidence. 
From those experiences i had as a little kid i now never trust anyone or get close to anyone.
I have a group of friends that i hang around with now but i don't confide anything with them.
All but one, who which i have a crush on. I think she's an Aspie as well, she certainly acts like it.
Thankfully the bullying stopped but it has left a permanent scar.
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"How can it be, that you cannot see
What they are doing with thee
You are a life, new file in their memory."
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Ralic
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Jun 23, 2009
Age: 19
Posts: 53
Location: Far away from home...
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| Posted: Sat Jun 27, 2009 2:17 pm Post subject: |
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I was bullied grades 1-3 by boys. Then somewhat by people in Russian schools. It didn't really do much, though. It just made me understand what people really are and that it's not worth wasting time with them, or feeling sorry for them.
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Live long and prosper.
May His Merciful Shadow fall upon you. |
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WardenWolf
Deinonychus
Joined: May 01, 2009
Age: 27
Posts: 327
Location: Phoenix, Arizona
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| Posted: Sat Jun 27, 2009 8:39 pm Post subject: |
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For me, the bullying mostly stopped in high school, but the damage had been done. I couldn't talk to anyone who didn't talk to me first. I only opened up to a couple of people who took the time to get to know me. I'm not anywhere near as bad as I used to be, but I still have the scars. The psychological abuse from my parents in my high school years was far worse, though. That gave me PTSD and severe depression that required treatment even after I was out of the house. I still get flashbacks sometimes, and it sends me into depression and shutdown unless I have something to distract me long enough for it to go away. I still have a thin skin, and really can't take criticism or insults from anyone well.
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I am many things. The exile, the guardian, the friend, all at different times, and sometimes all at the same time. I walk my path. If you happen to be walking beside me, please help me when I fall. I will gladly do likewise. |
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