ElfMan
Forum Moderator
Joined: Dec 17, 2004
Posts: 557
Location: Australia
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 Posted: Mon Apr 11, 2005 5:40 am Post subject: |
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From Ghosthunter,
| Quote: | I find sound a good distraction to
meltdown, but only sometimes. I will
use Sound bombardment to induce a
state and the best studying I will do
will occur,and time passes without
cognitive awareness of it. Have you
discovered this particular gift yet? |
I sometimes bombard myself with music while my I-Physical does a mad paced dance. Then I will need silence. Yes, it is after this bombardment of music that I am able to best perform, but like you, it is sometimes.
| Quote: | In MeltDown, I feel like I am floating out above
my body. Like I am operating my body with a
remote control that is not fuctioning properly.
I can hardly speak, I may grunt mostly. I can
hardly hear, well I can hear but it makes no
sense to me, Same with sight. I can see,
but what is it I am looking at?? . Until recently,
I have been unaware of what these processes
are and what causes them.]
From Ghosthunter,
•What was the event that caused this awareness? |
It was my understanding of autism that gave me this awareness. These events of regular overloads and cylcing shutdowns were frustrating and annoying. I also thought that I was just being irrisponsible and a wimp. I read something like how Jeston has described with the bell curve. It was a study about an autistic girl that would just fall asleep when she was asked to do something that she could not do.
I too have overloads that include overwhelming frustration. Others percieve this frustration as anger. Sometimes when a descussion causes overload, first I start shaking violently all over, and my voice gets choked, so it becomes different and in my confused frustration I will repeatedly question and question the person or people the discussion is with to get some comprihension. Because I appear this way, others change too and become aggressive and baffled toward me.
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Civet
The Practical Cat
Joined: Jul 09, 2004
Posts: 1342
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| Posted: Mon Apr 11, 2005 7:01 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | In MeltDown, I feel like I am floating out above my body. Like I am operating my body with a remote control that is not fuctioning properly. I can hardly speak, I may grunt mostly. I can hardly hear, well I can hear but it makes no sense to me.
Same with sight. I can see, but what is it I am looking at??
Meltdown can take weeks to get through.
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I have experienced this a number of times, as well, Elfman, though I did not associate it with a "meltdown." For me, I'm still not entirely sure what brings it on. I definitely feel the "out of body" thing, very distant and light-headed. Sometimes just going to sleep can alleviate it, other times, it sticks with me for a bit longer. I can usually understand what I hear, but it takes a lot of effort. I also feel like there is cotton around my body and stuffed in my ears, like I can not really touch the reality around me. Getting me to speak in that state of mind is very difficult. My vision tends to get very strange, and I may have perceptual distortions, for example, the walls may seem to waver from dark to light with an odd shimmering effect, and I can only really hyperfocus on objects, so I'd be staring at, for example, a coke can someone left on the table near me, completely unaware of anything else in my visual field. |
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ElfMan
Forum Moderator
Joined: Dec 17, 2004
Posts: 557
Location: Australia
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| Posted: Mon Apr 11, 2005 7:16 am Post subject: |
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Wow Civet you dercribed mine exactly. I have them at times when I am unsure why also. Yes, it is very hard too perceive reality for what it is meant to be in this state. This has happened to me so often that even not in meltdown, I am unsure of my reality and what I am percieving as apposed to what is 'meant' to be percieved.
As far as I know, I am mostly light and space. How is it that I can sit in a chair? The chair too is in a constant state of movement. How is it that it appears to be solid and holds me?
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codeman38
Sea Gull
Joined: Jan 02, 2005
Posts: 225
Location: Georgia, USA
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| Posted: Tue Apr 12, 2005 4:03 pm Post subject: |
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| Civet wrote: | | I have experienced this a number of times, as well, Elfman, though I did not associate it with a "meltdown." For me, I'm still not entirely sure what brings it on. I definitely feel the "out of body" thing, very distant and light-headed. Sometimes just going to sleep can alleviate it, other times, it sticks with me for a bit longer. I can usually understand what I hear, but it takes a lot of effort. I also feel like there is cotton around my body and stuffed in my ears, like I can not really touch the reality around me. Getting me to speak in that state of mind is very difficult. My vision tends to get very strange, and I may have perceptual distortions, for example, the walls may seem to waver from dark to light with an odd shimmering effect, and I can only really hyperfocus on objects, so I'd be staring at, for example, a coke can someone left on the table near me, completely unaware of anything else in my visual field. |
Oh, wow. I don't have that sort of thing happen often, but I completely know what you're talking about here. It's a really weird experience. I've noticed that it happens more often when I've done something extremely exhausting; I recall sometimes getting in a similar state after having practiced driving, for instance. Also seems to occur when I'm feeling sick or particularly tired.
I don't know if I'd describe it as having cotton around my body, but it doesn't exactly feel like I'm inhabiting my body in those circumstances. And my vision and hearing are distorted as well-- I totally know what you're talking about with the whole part about hyperfocusing on a Coke can. |
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Jetson
The Map Maker
Joined: Feb 23, 2005
Posts: 1219
Location: Vancouver, Canada
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| Posted: Tue Apr 12, 2005 7:29 pm Post subject: |
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| ElfMan wrote: | | I sometimes bombard myself with music while my I-Physical does a mad paced dance. |
What is this "I-Physical" that you and Ghosthunter refer to? I've never heard of that term.
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ElfMan
Forum Moderator
Joined: Dec 17, 2004
Posts: 557
Location: Australia
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| Posted: Wed Apr 13, 2005 9:02 pm Post subject: |
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Jetson, I was aiming to relate to Ghosthunter in terms that he knows. It's not a term I was too familiar with either until Ghosthunter used it.
So Ghosthunter may do a better expanaition than I can.
Where I used the term I-Physical above, I was refering to my phsyical self as aposed to emotional self or mental self. My body was what needed to be doing a crazy dance. I think I do this to release built up energy in my body.
Apperantly we are all copmosed of a physical body, an emotional body, a mental body and an etheric body (energy).
I am open to correction lol as always.
Hope I did not confuse the issue more Jetson.
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