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gamekeeper
Butterfly
Joined: Mar 26, 2008
Posts: 14
Location: Wherever the SatNav says it is...
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 Posted: Thu May 22, 2008 2:09 pm Post subject: |
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I've just read this thread from start to latest and find a mixture of reactions. I think the issue of social hierarchies is a highly complex one. Many of us have great difficulty in determining one's place in the scheme of things, though I agree they are easier to recognise in some situations than others (For instance, I find my place on the employment hierarchy more simple - I'm never around long enough to climb it! though socially I find the whole process mind-boggling). What has raised my interest particularly, though, has been the dichotomous response of how we deal with it - many of you are far braver than I and consciously oppose hierarchies that you cannot justify, whilst many others appear to respond in the same way as I and attempt to stay below the radar.
It would be far less contentious if we were able to live in an Aspie world where our own views and understanding of society around us allowed us to move within it without being (or feeling) persecuted and discriminated against. Unfortunately, it is their world we move in and "No man is an island" - No matter how hard we may try to make it so! |
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slowmutant
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 14, 2008
Age: 29
Posts: 6864
Location: Ontario, Canada
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| Posted: Thu May 22, 2008 3:51 pm Post subject: |
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| Indeed, no man is an island. Well played! |
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shopaholic
Phoenix
Joined: Aug 01, 2007
Posts: 619
Location: UK
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| Posted: Fri May 23, 2008 7:18 am Post subject: |
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| gamekeeper wrote: | | Unfortunately, it is their world we move in and "No man is an island" - No matter how hard we may try to make it so! |
People say this to me & I say - "But I try really hard to be!"
Can't help being the type who "fights" it - I loved TrueDave's comment that being oblivious is seen as worse than openly challenging it.
Proves I've been doing it right then!
i.e. most of the time I am oblivous, but I will openly challenge it just often enough for everyone to think my "obliviousness" is deliberate!!!!! |
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slowmutant
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 14, 2008
Age: 29
Posts: 6864
Location: Ontario, Canada
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| Posted: Fri May 23, 2008 10:00 am Post subject: |
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| how can obliviousness be deliberate? |
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TUnoriginal
Emu Egg
Joined: May 22, 2008
Posts: 8
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| Posted: Fri May 23, 2008 10:44 am Post subject: I have a major problem with authority |
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I saw this post and I what most people have said describes me perfectly. In school I had severe issues with authority, if something seemed illogical or not right I refused to comply as a "matter of principle", even if I was fighting someone else's battles for them. I was regularly suspended in high school (well over 15 times). When it comes to work I butt heads with superiors quite frequently. If I feel they are wrong I refuse to comply to their "orders" and fight them on it. I can never call anyone Mr./Mrs. or Sir. It feels like I am subordinating myself, which I can't allow. Everyone is called by their first name only.
I actually made the decision a year ago to be self employed as I could no longer "push someone else's agenda" and became very frustrated doing anything people told me to do.
Overall I treat everybody exactly the same, whether that be a parent, sibling, grand parent, boss, stranger. I don't see why my reaction to a situation should be altered depending on the person. I tend to be very emotionally detached from situations until I feel wronged, then I am overwhelmed with anger and frustration (verbal, not physical) and "have to" see the situation righted.
I am very good at arguing points on logic and pointing out the illogical ways of people I feel are wrong. This "skill" has served me well, and I am very good at "winning" arguments or disagreements.
I'm happy to see I'm not alone in this view! |
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merrymadscientist
Deinonychus
Joined: Dec 19, 2007
Posts: 302
Location: UK
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| Posted: Sat May 24, 2008 4:29 pm Post subject: |
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| I'm not even aware that there are hierarchies where I work - perhaps there are and its me who doesnt know about them. I dont think it matters too much though where I am concerned. I have so little self esteem that generally I will act as though everyone is higher up in the hierarchy than me. |
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juliekitty
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 26, 2006
Posts: 1715
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| Posted: Sat May 24, 2008 6:05 pm Post subject: Re: I have a major problem with authority |
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| TUnoriginal wrote: | | I can never call anyone Mr./Mrs. or Sir. It feels like I am subordinating myself, which I can't allow. Everyone is called by their first name only. |
Where I work, everyone is called by their first name only and there's an affectation of casualness, yet it's the most retardedly hierarchical organization I've ever worked for.
I'd almost rather bin the hypocrisy and call people "Sir", "Lord" or "Your Highness" according to their position. |
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Greentea
Bull in China Shop par Excellence!
Joined: Jun 15, 2007
Posts: 2225
Location: Middle East
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| Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 5:07 pm Post subject: |
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People who are always in a position of power over you, even if it seems ridiculous that it should be so:
The mechanic - you need your car fixed more than he needs your money right now.
The hospital nurse - you need your health more than they need their job
The hospital doctor - same
The baker at closing time on a weekend's eve - you need bread more than he needs the 0.2c right now
etc.
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"It is the wounded oyster that mends its shell with pearl" - Ralph Waldo Emerson |
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Greentea
Bull in China Shop par Excellence!
Joined: Jun 15, 2007
Posts: 2225
Location: Middle East
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| Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 5:09 pm Post subject: |
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People who are always in a position of power over you, even if it seems ridiculous that it should be so:
The mechanic - you need your car fixed more than he needs your money right now.
The hospital nurse - you need your health more than they need their job
The hospital doctor - same
The baker at closing time on a weekend's eve - you need bread more than he needs the 0.2c right now
etc.
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"It is the wounded oyster that mends its shell with pearl" - Ralph Waldo Emerson |
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ManErg
Velociraptor
Joined: Apr 05, 2006
Posts: 433
Location: Searching for diamonds in a sulphur mine
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| Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 7:31 pm Post subject: |
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| Greentea wrote: | The baker at closing time on a weekend's eve - you need bread more than he needs the 0.2c right now
etc. |
Surely Bakers have no power since 24 hour Tesco's exists? 
Seriously, Greentea, you have an interesting subject here (as you so often have!).
My ignorance of the accepted heirarchy has been mentioned at work. Apparently you are supposed to behave totally differently when in the presence of the head honcho. Suddenly common sense must be ignored and if head honcho says "the sky is green" you have to agree with him. More than that obvious stuff, though, it's about subtle body language cues. AS = "oh dear".
Nothing to be proud of, basically I treat the office cleaner the same as the CEO because I am equally uncomfortable in the presence of either. I have no choice, it;s just the way things are. Of course most colleagues are horrified by the lack of respect I show to someone who hasn't yet earned my respect (the CEO, not the cleaner).
1 ounce of the real is better than a million tons of the ersatz.
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The shoddier the merchandise -- the more it needs promoting |
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Greentea
Bull in China Shop par Excellence!
Joined: Jun 15, 2007
Posts: 2225
Location: Middle East
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| Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 7:49 pm Post subject: |
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I meant the person at the Tesco's bakery counter, of course.
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"It is the wounded oyster that mends its shell with pearl" - Ralph Waldo Emerson |
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claire333
Huh?
Joined: Jun 20, 2008
Posts: 1510
Location: Lost in my own little world.
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| Posted: Mon Sep 01, 2008 12:05 am Post subject: |
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Hmmm...I missed this thread somehow. Very interesting. This is a problem I also have. I am very fortunate to have a boss who puts up with it. I work directly under the main director for our facility and I have been known to correct or argue with him in front of a room full of people. He is a pretty good sport about it though. I think it is because he knows if he needs something done, I will get it done. I have heard him say...That Claire stays on top of me.
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On with the show...This is it. |
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Magique
Snowy Owl
Joined: Aug 27, 2008
Age: 51
Posts: 133
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| Posted: Mon Sep 01, 2008 1:27 pm Post subject: |
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| Power relations are interesting. I don't have a problem following an organizational chart, but the unwritten rules get me. Work, unless I'm really lucky, is an exercise in dealing with primates. I play the game well enough to get my bananas, but I don't identify with it (or I try not to). It is exhausting. I get along fine with bosses who can relate on a human level, but not at all with bosses who are "The Boss". It does drive me nuts when the boss requires something that is unethical, illogical or just plain wrong despite my having it pointed it out. At that point I detach. I just work here. |
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astarisbored
Butterfly
Joined: Sep 15, 2008
Posts: 17
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| Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 6:31 am Post subject: |
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| Shayne wrote: | WE'VE GOT THE RIGHT TO CHOOSE AND
THERE AIN'T NO WAY WE'LL LOSE IT
THIS IS OUR LIFE, THIS IS OUR SONG
WE'LL FIGHT THE POWERS THAT BE JUST
DON'T PICK OUR DESTINY 'CAUSE
YOU DON'T KNOW US, YOU DON'T BELONG
OH WE'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT
NO, WE AIN'T GONNA TAKE IT
OH WE'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE |
Oh You're So Condescending
Your Gall Is Never Ending
We Don't Want Nothin', Not A Thing From You
Your Life Is Trite And Jaded
Boring And Confiscated
If That's Your Best, Your Best Won't Do |
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juliekitty
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 26, 2006
Posts: 1715
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| Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 10:06 pm Post subject: |
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| ManErg wrote: | | Of course most colleagues are horrified by the lack of respect I show to someone who hasn't yet earned my respect (the CEO, not the cleaner). |
I do enjoy their dumbfounded looks. |
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