How do you get a guy to leave you alone?

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You're talking about a guy with aspergers and yet you still want to use a subtle hint to get a point across? WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU DO THAT?!? HAS THIS SITE TAUGHT YOU ANYTHING?!? [Now that my rage has subsided]

The only effective way to get ANY point across with someone who has AS is to say it blantantly and clearly using words. Not body language.

Hello... I don't treat him like anything... I have never talked more than 3 sentences to him and only after he started stalking me did I speak to him.

Let me explain thbe situation again...the guy was eavesdropping on a conversation I was having at work with two other people about the church I was visiting. Then he shows up and after 2 visits to the church he suddenly comes to me at work and says he overheard someone at church inviting me to the new members class and he said he has decided to join because I am.

I don't freakin know this guy. He just decided all this on his own and even said now that he goes to my church that we can hang out together and that I can come to his desk and talk to him. I don't want to talk to him. I do not know him. There is no reason for him to look up to me because I have never really held conversation with him. I am lesbian. I do not hang out with guys; I do not have sex with guys. O am over 15 yrs older than him. Am not interested!

I have stopped going to church because of this as*hole. I cannot tell him off at work because it will attract attention which will lead to an invitation to the HR office. If I tell what he has been doing he will get fired because the company is big about firing harrassers. However, where I work every time a woman has gotten a guy fired for harrassment a number of employees have turned on those women and made their life hell till they eventually felt they had to quit. I'm not willing to leave the company over some s**t temporary worker who is a stalker. I have worked there over 9 yrs. I am not letting him get me run off there.

he's not exactly running you out, he's approaching and getting no understandable signals telling him to back off. Are you 100% certain that his interest is even sexual?

If I had a penny for every time that people have thought badly about me and I haven't even had the slightest idea, I'd probably be a few pounds richer. As it is now, I worry about imposing so much that I take every possible signal to mean the worst and won't talk to anyone at all. Please just tell him.

The most effective way to get rid of creeps/stalkers that I've run into is to respond to what they say with "Leave. Me. Alone." growled. Glaring while saying it reinforces the message if they don't get it the first time. Repeat occasionally to anything else they say, ignoring the rest of the time. "I am not interested in talking to you" if they ask why, but not to engage in conversation. Also, don't say anything to the person initially or respond in any other way.

If that doesn't take care of the problem fairly quickly, I would enlist help from a superior. In my experience, if you don't tell them to leave you alone yourself first (and they don't listen), nobody will help you. But if you have told him this and he persists, you can sometimes get backup. Your response will probably be more effective though.

I'd talk to the mother, sense she seems to be pulling his strings. It may be a little outside your comfort zone, but sometimes you have to push your boundries to get what you want (like a little space).

Tell her that her son is nice, but you're not interested in him like that and would like a bit of space.

Ticker,
Pursue a restraining order?

Move?

Stop attending that church?

It's really a tough call since he won't stop and other people won't help (or expect you to do what they would do whatever (the F**) that is...)

Is he still bothering you, Ticker? He reminds me of the veterinarian I used to have for my pets. Spent the whole time he was putting my cat down staring at my chest. Dh didn't punch him out because I was too upset to notice and he didn't want to call my attention to it because I would have been more upset. Things went from bad to worse. If I tried to make appts with the other vet for my pets, this jerk would pull the file and insist on seeing them so he could see me. If by some miracle I avoided that and got in with the other vet, he'd actually open the door to the exam room and stand in there the whole time - all the while ignoring his other patients. He even started calling my house and my work! Dh had words with him and even my old vet from another city who was furious about the way he acted (they actually knew each other). The last straw for me was when stalker vet fired the other vet (an accupuncture vet) because I preferred him. When the other vet left, I left. I had to drive my pets almost an hour to a different vet. The moron continued to call and send me letters for over a year.

Some men don't get it no matter what you say or do. I attract them as well so I feel for you. For me I think I don't read the nonverbal for so long they get this idea I'm receptive or they are just predators and see me as prey because I don't read them. Either way, for me someone else always has to step in. Most of the time one run in with dh sends them off. I had a boss who could also send them on their way quickly. You might need to hire a truck full of rednecks for a case of beer. They'll know how to get the message across so he understands it. Either that or he'll be too afraid to come back.

The bad thing about restraining orders is that most predatory people know they are useless and some people see any attention, even negative attention as you being focused on them. On the other hand, the rednecks can get YOU put in jail.

I wish I could be more help.

Act like you are literally insane...that will most likely just scare him away.

In all seriousness, though...you should approach him and say to him..."Leave me alone". If that doesn't work, then it means he does have a clue that you don't want him near you...but he is just being persistant and stalker-like.

Call him every 5 minutes for 3 days straight...He'll leave you alone.

Couldn't agree more.

I just finished reading your posts her.

He sounds like a total stalker, all I can think of is restraining order.

I few weeks ago we started talking about him at work among several women. One 19 yr old who feels sorry for every bonehead that speaks to her was actually talking to him nightly because she gave him her cell# because he seemed so sad and lonely. So he calls her nightly. She disagreed with me that he was creepy, but then again I see 3 guys fighting over her daily at work and she is clueless of it. However some of the women in the group agreed with me that his behavior was weird so she apparently carried that message to him because after that night he never speaks to me at work and has quit going to the church since I stopped going. So I may attempt to go back to the church in the future.

The guy now follows around other women like a puppy trying to please. I had a 2nd dork at work started harassing me plus several other women because he wanted a date to take to his parents house and to celebrate the holidays with him. I had a talk with his one and only friend who is one of my friends and he got the guy straightened out to where he doesn't bother me either.

About restraining orders: I recommend reading a book called The Gift of Fear. It is written by a guy who runs a firm that advises celebrities, government officials, etc on how to deal with unwanted attention. (Turns out that celebrities have all sorts of wackos stalking them all the time.) This book is mainly about predicting and avoiding violence and domestic abuse - but one interesting thing the author points out that getting a restraining order does not often have the intended effect. Sometimes, it turns the person into a vengeful stalker. Instead of using the restraining order as a clear signal that she does not want him in her life, sometimes the guy will now feel "wronged" by the girl and will feel even more "justified" in perusing her. And the piece of paper will not protect you. I recommend reading this book.

(Disclaimer: I'm a dude.)

The only things I've noticed guys don't like is when you refer to removing their balls or poop (especially your own)... I can't find a mature response, just awkward ones that makes public scenes . Also, threatening to call the cops or having (a) guy friend(s) threaten to beat them up usually works (if they are around).

How to get guys to leave you alone? Peko pretty much has it covered. You could also just permeate an aura of "GET THE f**k AWAY FROM ME" which seems to work. It did for me in high school anyway.

Simplest methods summed up:

1. screaming
2. crying
3. hitting
4. threatening to report them
5. having someone beat them
6. talking about castration
7. talking about (your/others) poop

Whatever you do, don't be reasonable.